


12 O'Clock at Your Local King Soopers

by InsominiacArrest



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Accidental overdose, Alternate Universe - Grocery Store, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, drug mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-04-24 11:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 80,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4917970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapis works late night shifts, Peridot is somebody's overworked assistant, they both need more sleep and better people skills: the grocery store story.</p><p>tag: 12KS<br/><a href="http://insomniac-arrest.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pasta (Ravioli, Ravioli)

**Author's Note:**

> Imported over from my lapidotdrabbles!  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just as I have reached 1,000 kudos (wa-hoo!) there is also a lovely banner for 12KS from the wonderful treker402.tumblr.com! Thank you so much, it's beautiful--And check out their art! Lots of lapidot

She strolled past the frozen snacks aisle and tried to remember where the pasta section was. Her blurry brain barely comprehended the board above her head.

“Stupid glasses. Stupid contact lenses.” She swore and she blindly walked to the next aisle.

“Hey, you!” She called out to an employee. The girl with electric blue hair turned to her from stacking cereal on the shelves. She looked almost familiar.

“You again.” She did not sound excited.

“Pasta.” Is all Peridot gets out.

“Ravioli, ravioli.” She responds flatly with accompanying jazz hands, Peridot rolls her eyes. “Don’t you have like a need for three Dorito bags and a jug of milk to buy? I remember that.”

Peridot went a little red in the face, “no, but I do have a boss that will have my ass on a platter and then sell it to the highest bidder if I don’t get her a specific type of pasta.” Peridot throws her hands in the air. The girl arches an eyebrow and opens her mouth to speak,

“I meant to go to a special modmarket to get it, but I was also busy with her dry cleaning and an unhappy broker who thought it was my job to listen to their garbage complaints out of their clodding garbage mouth.”

“Okay, buddy, I get it, it was a long day.” She approaches slowly. She was fairly attractive. Really attractive Peridot’s brain shouted as she came into view out of the blurry horizon.

A white skirt, blue blouse, round face, and button nose, the only thing that ruined it were the deep bags under her eyes that looked like bruises painted on by a raincloud.

Her deep grey eyes were also bloodshot, red veins framing the sheets of grey glass. Peridot suddenly wondered if she was high. She was a King Soopers employee. Peridot inched away.

“Pasta is this wah-ay.” She sang dully and then pointed to the left, Peridot trails after her by a good three paces as the employee leads her through the quiet store.

“See? Pasta for ages.” She takes her to aisle nine and a large swath of plain noodles in packages.

Peridot groans and hangs her head.

“Now what?”

“This will take forever.” Lapis, the name on her name tag, puts her hands on her hips, Peridot half expects her to offer to help.

“Good luck.” Peridot scowls at the girl’s retreating back and then turns back to her work.

“Strongozzi. Strongozzi.” She muttered to herself as she squinted at the boxes.

The florescent lights contrast with the black night outside, and the eery wake of a dead store weighed heavy on her shoulder tops. But what could she do, this was all the time she had and it was the only place open.

She surveyed the surrounding boxes, picking each one up and examining the label and type. Around half an hour passed. It was 1:30 in the morning at her local King Soopers.

She sighed, she rustled through the store, trying to spot, yes, electric blue hair.

She softly padded up behind her, “You don’t have my pasta.” The girl jumped, nearly dropping the orange juice she was stocking, “You need to have my pasta.”

“Dear lord, you need a bell." She swore, "And some better eyes, we have a whole wall of pasta.”

“Yeah, well, I lost my glasses and my life is, in fact, hell. I need some…” She pauses, as if she was going to choke, “help.”

The girl sighed deeply, “look buddy,”

“It’s Peridot.”

“What?”

“Peridot. Like the gem. For August. My parents were not creative.”

“Oh nice, my name is Lapis Lazuli." She pauses, "They thought it was funny.”

“Okay,” she says slowly, “cool. Though your name tag is there too.”

“Humph,” she covers her name tag with her hand, “alright, fine, what is your pasta dilemma?”

“Come on.” This time Lapis follows Peridot to the large carbohydrate section.

“Strongozzi.” She says blankly as they get there.

“Strong what?”

“Strongozzi. It’s a pasta type.”

Lapis surveys the shelves, tapping her finger to her chin, “let’s look.”

Peridot considered questioning her on why she didn’t know all the products in the store, but shuts her mouth.

They repeat the process, 15 minutes this time, 1:55 at her local King Soopers.

Lapis finally swings her arms down to her side, “alright blondie, this isn’t worth it.” She picked up a box from the bottom section.

“Maybe not for you.” Peridot replied shortly.

“Here.” It was angel hair pasta, Lapis shoved it into her hands, “she won’t know the difference. OR it’ll taste even better.” She winks at her.

“Are you pasta expert?” Peridot sniffed, Lapis shrugged.

“I had some college experiences that involved some odd months of only noodles in cups.” She said more chipper, a pale smile on her face.

Peridot eyed her, she had gone to college.

“My boss is not flexible. I don’t think dorm food will cut it.”

“I swear on my King Sooper honor it will get you through, besides,” she snorts, “you’re the one that didn’t make it to the mod market. Beggars can’t be choosers.”

Peridot goes red in the face, “alright, I see your point,” she trails off, “thanks for your help.” She grumbled and walked over to self check out.

She doesn’t look behind her to see what the girl Lapis Lazuli does next.


	2. Fight

Lapis’s head was light and her mood was a storm cloud. It was her fourth day at the store in a row, and fourth day at work running on 3-2 hours of sleep.

She was withering.

Her shift was almost over though, and she could feel the time ticking by faster than normal. The drowsiness in her bones even told her she might be able to sleep tonight.

It was a novel idea.

She was sweeping the last part of aisle 16 when she heard the automatic doors at the front the store swoop open. Lapis peaked around the corner, she was always a little curious on who came in at this hour.

Mostly people up too early, or out too late.

She turns around the corner and rolls her eyes. It was the late night regular. Peridot something or rather.

She had short bleach-blonde hair, a long horse face and, if Lapis had to say, she would place her as Middle Eastern. Her eyes were a sharp green and limbs like robotic swans: long, elegant and stiff. She was short, but wore high enough business heels to the point you could barely tell.

New glasses perched on her face and Lapis went back to sweeping. "Regulars" were not very interesting compared to soccer moms coming in to frantically buy a birthday cake at 4 am. Or that sad drunk girl who sat in the aisle and drank a gallon of Gatorade while yelling about their boyfriends. That  _was_  funny.

Lapis goes about her business on autopilot for a better part of her last hour up until someone comes stomping down her aisle.

“ _You_.” The voice says to her back, acid in her tone. "I've been looking for you."

“Oh brother.” She expressed, unamused, it was the girl.

“I. Am. Going. To. Lose. My. Job.” Peridot says through a clenched jaw. Lapis turns around languidly. 

“That sucks,” she looks her dead in the eye, “if you want to know, King Soopers is always hiring. The key to the interview is to not look like you do meth...That's it.”

“That. Was. Not. Good-”

Lapis’s watch started to ding, small smirk forms on her face.

“Okay, you’re going to have to hold that thought, I have to get off work.”  
  
Peridot folded her arms. “You, me, the parking lot.” She answered shortly.

“Ugh. But know if I’m not back in 24 hours my landlady will call the police.” That was a lie. But she didn’t want Peridot to get any ideas.

“I’ll be waiting.” She says with squared shoulders and little fiery bite to her vowels.

Lapis turned her back on her, and walked to the employee room to punch out.

She takes her time in putting her apron away and picking up her purse. The bus was still an hour away, and it’s not like she wanted to spend all that time being hollered at.

She finally shuffled out to the parking lot.

“That was bad pasta!” Is the first thing Peridot yelled at her.

Lapis scowled, “talk to my manager. Call HR, not my fault your boss has some shit expensive taste.” Lapis hated people like that.

“She’s going to fire me,” the frazzled looking girl said miserably. "She looked me directly in the eye and threw it out when the dinner party was over."

“What a bitch. King Soopers though, always hiring.” She chirped as she started walking to the bus stop.

Peridot trailed after her, “I did not get a master’s in computer science for that, but I guess I didn’t get it to be someone’s butt-monkey assistant either.”

  
Lapis snickers, “butt monkey.”  
  
“Your seven.” She said back flatly.

“Why are you even here?”  
  
“I don’t know,” she sighed, “the pasta fiasco occurred and you were the first one I thought of.”

“That is incredibly sad.”  
  
“You sold me cheap pasta!”

Lapis sniffs, she sits down primly at her bus stop to wait for the 5 am bus back home, “look I have to get home, not sleep for a couple hours and then come back here. Can you complain at me next shift?”  
  
Peridot sat down next to her and rested her head on the side of the bus stop.

“You must work a lot,” She sighs, “... I know the feeling.”  
  
Lapis shrugged, “it’s something to do.”

“And you always look tired, do they even give you days off?” She looked off into the distance. Lapis doesn’t reply momentarily.

“Look I know you're trying to relate to me, but you have some sort of high end job for fun, I am resigned to this, even though I should really just be starting a fight club.” She chuckles.

“Fight club? What.”

“It’s a movie,” she eyes her, “you’ve never seen it?”  
  
Peridot shakes her head ‘no.’

Lapis was almost tempted to force this complete stranger to watch Fight Club with her. She stopped herself and looks away. “Your loss.”  
  
“So you need to fight people?”  
  
“Not quite. I mean yes, obviously, I work in retail.”

Peridot snorts, sounding like something that might be a laugh. “But?”

“The main character can’t sleep. That’s me.” She points at herself, “As in I figured I might as well get a night job to compliment my insomnia.”

“That sucks.” Peridot responds with the minimum of human compassion.

“Thanks.” Lapis sees her bus coming around the corner, the only vehicle on the road as the sun rises.

“It’s pretty at this time at least.” Peridot studied the horizon where the yellow orb rose painted in pinks and oranges above the low sleepy town's horizon.

Lapis saw it a lot, but it was nice to see someone else enjoying it. She gives a half smile towards Peridot.

“See you round blondie.” She says lightly as she stands up and picks out her bus pass from the mess of her purse.

“Right. Yeah, cause I’ll have nothing else to do but go to your lousy King Soopers again.”

Lapis gives out a laugh like bells, “that’s what I figure.”  
  
“Ugh.”

Lapis steps onto the bus as the doors swing open. She waves at Peridot as she drives off, mostly sardonically.


	3. Let's Try and Sleep

Chapter Warning: stalking

 

Peridot couldn’t believe she was going back there. Not after she had embarrassed herself and accused an employee of being responsible for her personal fuck ups.

Guilt bit at the edge of her throat like rising bile.

But she was strung out, she needed sleeping pills, milk and at least five different types of junk food.

It didn’t help that it was 2 in the morning and she had just gotten off work.

She snuck around the grocery store, collecting chips and red bull like fuel points in a video game. She had to up her HP while not getting caught, 2 lives lost if Lapis spotted her.

She made it to the last aisle and nervously picked up a drink. She was thirsty and stressed, and goddammit she was going to drink some milk.

She darted her eyes around and then opened the lid, taking an uneasy sip.

“Peridot!” Peridot spit out the milk, Lapis approaches her with a huge a grin on her face.

“Uh, Lapis.” She replies, taken back by her cheery greeting, she wipes the milk off her face.

“It’s so good to see you, can I help you find that shampoo you were looking for?”

Peridot eyes her up and down and wondered if delirium was taking over in her addled mind. Ms. Diamond wasn’t going to like that.

“Here, let me show you the way.” She grabbed her by the shoulder in an iron grip and guided her past the dairy aisle across the store.

“What’s up?” Peridot wondered out loud.

Lapis leaned forward, right next to her ear, Peridot almost shuddered from the contact. “That guy has been following me around all night. I didn’t want to look alone.”

Peridot squinted, and then turns her head. “Don’t look!” She orders and jerks Peridots face front and center. “He’s like, just a middle aged creep, but I don’t want to talk to him. Or be watched. My boss didn’t believe me.  
  


Peridot frowned, really frowned, “how long is your shift?” Peridot's eyes narrowed.

“Uh, two more hours. But I think I might go home early.” She sounded nervous, unsure of herself.

Peridot nodded, “go clock out. I’ll wait for you outside.”  
  
Her eyes go wide. “Really? The bus doesn’t even come for, uh, a long time.”

She doesn’t meet Lapis’s gaze, “it’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Peridot broke the rules and glanced at the middle aged frumpy man behind them, he had beady eyes and a full beard, “I’m sure.”

Peridot waits like a security guard outside of the employee entrance. She tapped her foot on the parking lot asphalt and clenches her hands. No way was a person going to stalked on her watch.

It was at least her job to watch after Ms. Diamond, it might as well carry over into something important.

Lapis jogs out the door five minutes later, her long skirt swaying in the breeze.

She turns to Peridot, a light smile framing her red cheeks, brightly colored from the cold. Peridot tries not to stare.

“Sooo, bus stop?” She says grabbing her bag closer to her shoulder.

“Yeah. I can wait with you.”  
  
“Oh jeez, fuck, that is too much.” She ran her fingers through her hair and looked she was going even more red in the face.

“No, look, I’m just doing it for whatever. It’s bad karma.” She finally stuttered out as the night dragged on.

“I think you mean good karma.”  
  
“Better than leaving you here.”  
  
“Yeah.” She breaths, her breath floats away in a puff of white smoke, “thanks.”  
  
They shuffle over to the bus stop a block away.

Peridot thought it was okay then, it was fine. But when she looks behind them a figure is framed by the street lights loomed behind them. Peridot catches her breath, it was okay, it would be fine.

“You saw him too?” Lapis whispered.

“We’ll come with a contingency plan.” Peridot was all about plans.

“I’m so dumb, maybe he just had a question. Or hey, I’m losing it and he was wandering around the store _not_ following me.” Lapis rubbed her head, her bloodshot eyes glowing in the dark.

“Look, no, these kind of things are messed up and I saw him too. That wasn’t friendly.”  
  
Lapis stiffened beside her, walking closer to her in the cold, close to shaking.

They make it to the bus stop, and they sit close together on the bench.

Peridot takes out her phone and scrolls past the recent news updates. Her boss would want a briefing in the morning.

Lapis peers over her shoulder as she goes through her phone, “you have Candy Crush?” Lapis lights up.

Peridot turns her head slightly, “level 64.” She smirked at her.

“That’s nice.” Lapis takes out her own phone, an iphone 4, Peridot cringes at the outdated tech. “Level 104.”

“What the fu-” Lapis laughs briefly, clear and melodically, but Peridot stops mid sentence.

Lapis follows her gaze, the man was lumbering closer like an apparition of every girl's darkest fear.

Peridot watched as a bead a sweat ran down Lapis’s forehead in the chilled air.

“Hey ladies!” He spoke, hoarse and 'friendly.'

“Oh haha, Lapis, did you forget your wallet?” She pronounces loudly.

“I mean n-,” Peridot elbows her in the ribs, “I mean sure. I’m a doof, I forget things, I think I was distracted by your horse face.” She said flatly with a bit of a cheeky look on her face.

“Horse face??” She sputters, Lapis suppressed her own laugh despite the situation, Peridot cleared her throat, “I mean, I think you left it at my place.”  
  
Rasping breath came into hearing distance.

“Your place?” Lapis questions, “oh!” She lights up and her eyes dart around, “your place, yeah, sure. After all the **_great gay sex_** ,” She yelled that part while her eyes focused on the guy, “I left it at your place.”

Peridot goes slack-jawed and absolutely could not respond to that as Lapis dragged her in the opposite direction. “On three we run.” She murmured.

“Um.”

“So we can lose him. And then, uh,” Lapis looked at her searchingly. “Something.”

“My place.” Peridot confirmed, “I live five minutes away.”  
  
“Why didn’t you say so?”

“I didn’t think ‘let’s go to my place baby,’ was entirely appropriate given the situation.”

  
“Okay, okay,” She glanced behind them nervously, he was still there. “One,” She started, “wait, you don’t have nerd asthma do you?”

Peridot growls in the back of her throat, “two.”  
  
“Three.” Lapis huffs, and then they’re off, loping through the night like antelopes on the pavement savanna, Peridot leads Lapis through the familiar winding streets, taking them through as many turns as possible.

They skid through Meadow Lane right into the Lake district.

Peridot catches Lapis as they slow down to a halt, both of them gasping for air.

They momentarily pant heavily while leaning on the park trees.

“Haha!” Lapis punches Peridot in the arm. Hard. “We lost ‘em.”  
  
“Ow.” Peridot rubs her forearm.

“High five me!” Lapis puts up her hand.

“You hit me.”

“In celebration.” She moves her hand closer to her. Peridot reluctantly high fives her with a resounding ‘smack.’

“He never had a chance.” She jumped up and down and crowed loudly. Peridot smiled.

“Okay. Now that Creep Man number one can’t see, I live right down Lark Parkway, in the condo complex.” She pointed, and then started walking decisively.

“You’re uh, really gonna let me stay with you? I could rob you blind you know.”  
  
“He could be waiting for you at the bus.” Peridot whispered and Lapis shoved her hands in her coat pockets, “aaannd I know where you work.” She pokes her side.

“That’s an understatement.” They exchange a tense but amicable smile.

“So no stealing, but amazing sex…” She trails off, Lapis goes completely red in the face and puffs out her cheeks.

“That was for theatrics!” She defends, “to really drive home that I’m not interested.”

She snickered, “Your face looks like a red balloon." She slows down to walk next to her, "I’m just teasing.”  
  
Lapis huffed and looks anywhere but at Peridot.

They walk up to Peridot’s front walkway, Lapis looks around in awe and whistles.

“Okay, so if you’re fired, is your stick-up-her-ass boss hiring?”

“I wasn’t fired.” Peridot jingled her keys in the lock.

“Yet.” Lapis contributed happily, “which reminds me, I have a new pasta type to recommend.”

“You’re an ass.”  
  
Lapis laughed a full bodied chuckle, like rough unused cans crushed together. Peridot can feel her heart pick up like a runaway train about to spiral off the tracks.

She yanked the first gate open. “I don’t live in the whole place anyway. It’s basically an apartment.” She starts to jog up the stairs to the second floor, Lapis follows after.

“If these are apartments then I live in a matchstick box.” She retorts as Peridot finally makes it to her faceless white door. She takes out her second set of keys and inserts them in the door. “Which it sort of is anyway.”

“Where do you live?” She asked curiously as she opened the door to a darkened room.

Lapis peered in curiously. “Nice place.” Peridot turned on the light and they pad indoors. “I live in Midlands city. You know, downtown.”

  
“The city?” Peridot paused in taking off her jacket, “that’s 25 minutes away. I would know, I work there.”  
  
“Well, I live there. And it’s 45 minutes by bus miss.”

“Man.” Peridot laughs, “you wanna trade?”  
  
“Hell yes.” Lapis immediately inspects her dining table.

“Kidding.” Peridot cringed, she was making this weird. “You can sleep on my bed though.” Peridot commented, trying to make it better, “I have work to do anyway.”  
  
“I don’t sleep.” Lapis said simply, naturally, like a fact of life. She inspected a pictures on the wall, an abstract art piece Peridot's mom picked out.

“I never would have guessed.” She responded sarcastically.

“Ha. Ha.”

“The bags under your eyes say you should try.”

Lapis turns to her, looking at her directly in the eye, “you too then.”

“What?”

“You’re an overworked pencil pusher.” She repeated, “I’ll sleep when you do.”

Peridot rolls her eyes, “I don’t have a living room. As in, a couch.”

Lapis grinned, “that’s what I thought anyway.”

Peridot’s mouth hangs open slightly. It couldn’t happen, not like this, cute girls didn’t just fall into her bed like panties thrown on a musician's stage.

“I assume you have a huge bed anyway.” Her eyes sparkle.

“Uh.” Lapis turns around and opened one of the doors, a lucky guess, to the bedroom.

“Aha!’ She announces, “it’s even bigger than I thought. You must be so tiny in it.”

“I thought you didn’t sleep.”  
  
“I do _rest_. I like to think of myself as a mattress connoisseur actually. I worked at IKEA too.” She hung her coat up on the door and started to disrobe.

“That sounds like a better job than King Soopers.”  
  
“Yeah, well, it turns out trying _all_ the mattresses is a bad idea.”

Peridot chuckled, “do you want something to wear?”  
  
Lapis looked down at herself, “not really, I mean, if you don’t mind.”  
  
Peridot shrugged, “not really.”

Their eyes met as Peridot looked up, they both go slightly red in the face, this was happening.

Lapis turned her back on her, unbuttoning her pants in the process, “You know on second thought, I’ll take the floor. Your carpets thick, and I won’t be sleeping anyway.”

“You decision.” She says in an abnormally high pitched voice.

They get ready for bed.

Peridot absolutely does not stare at Lapis in her boxer shorts and tank top. Leering at others was for people below her.

She snuck a peak, but that’s just cause this sort of thing doesn’t happen to people like her. Lapis didn’t seem to care. She seemed pretty careless in general.

“Do you want some tea?” Her voice cracked, she clears her throat and lowers it two octaves, “it could help with, you know.”

Lapis turns around and tilts her head, “I’m always a slut for caffeine, what type?”

“No caffeine. My gran sends me all sorts of the stuff for my ‘health.’ Here’s one called ‘Sleepy Head, Bed Time',” She points to a box with a handwritten note on it.

Lapis giggles, “that’s adorable!” She exclaims and jogs into the kitchen. She pinches Peridot’s cheek, “that’s the cutest grandma thing I’ve heard. Where is it from?”  
  
“Ohio.” Peridot said tartly and swatted Lapis’s hand away, “I’ll make you some.”  
  
“Uh, I mean,” Lapis went red in the face again, what was up with her, “you don’t have to do all this stuff for me.”  
  
Peridot looked away and put the kettle on, “hey, yelling at you was...uncalled for. And I wasn’t going to leave you there.”  
  
Lapis sat down and looked at her lap, “that was sort of scary.”  
  
Peridot concentrated on filtering the tea into the cups. She didn’t know what to say, “Men are the worst.” Is what comes out.

Lapis glances up shyly at her through her lashes, “yeah.”

Peridot didn’t know what that meant.

She places the drink in front of the girl and they stare at each other from across the table.

“This is...good.” Lapis breaths, “and also still adorable.”  
  
Peridot nodded, “what did you expect?”  
  
Lapis arches an eyebrow, “a certain amount of disappointment for it being non-caffeinated.”

“Jeez, why don’t you just work at a coffee shop?”

“I did!” She crowed.

“You get around.” Peridot muttered into her drink.

“I do.” Her voice is low and gravely, her hooded eyes look over Peridot. She almost chokes. “The local business market is no match for my resume skills!” She laughs, zipping back to light hearted.

They chat, and drink her grandma’s present until Lapis is actually yawning, and Peridot has to be at work in three hours.

“Do you think….” She finally says, “I could try and sleep?” It was soft velvet words full of promises.

“Sure. Yeah.” Peridot fumbled up to her feet and opened the door to her room. She flinched, she wished she’d made the bed this morning. Lapis hovers, and walks in like a zombie.

“I’ll hella stay on my side.” She mumbled and creakily pulls the covers back, “and,” she yawns, “pay for any dry cleaning if you’re that type, or, or,” She yawns and doesn’t finish the sentence, forgetting she had wanted to sleep on the floor.

Peridot melted a little inside before feeling her own eyes drooping. Two hours of sleep couldn’t hurt.

She climbs into bed with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliche bed sharing! We’re here! Beds, cuddles, everything.
> 
> On that note, we are all caught up w/the Lapidot drabbles! I'm aiming for it to be 6 chapters but that might be expanded depending on inspiration/attention it gets.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading, commenting or kuddoing!


	4. Late Night Bystanders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have rewritten this chapter. It is now 30% cuter.

Lapis woke up twisted in a Duvet, her feet tangled in the covers and a warmth plastered to her side.

She tries to turn her head but found someone’s head tucked under her chin. She goes stiff. This was a lot of contact and very up close and personal with a stranger.

She considers nudging her, saving them both the embarrassment of facing each other again, but Lapis feels her soft even breathing against her chest, alive and steady, Lapis starts to doze off.

A phone on a night stand starts to buzz. Goddammit.

Peridot mumbles something into her neck about turning that off. Her breath tickled Lapis’s neck and sends a spark up her spine, she laughs lightly.

The phone stops buzzing and Peridot relaxes against her again. She really was tired. Lapis resists the urge to pet Peridot hair, she was so small and vulnerable burrowed against her.

The phone buzzes again, refusing to be ignored.

  
Lapis sighs, this could only last for so long, “hey buddy, that might be your work.” She shakes her lightly, "buddy." 

“What?” Peridot sits up in a blur of groggy eyed confusion.

“Work. Like that thing we do for food and sometimes a hard drink. Or like suffering in your case with that crazy boss.”

“Work.” She repeats, her eyes fly open, “fucking work.”

She tries to rush out of bed but her legs are tangled in the covers...and Lapis.

“Ag.” She falls on her face just as Lapis tries to catch her.

“Ow.” She rubs her nose, “God, stupid...everything.” She tries to form words.

"Uh, sorry." Lapis cringes. "Uncalled for cuddling, I know."

“Uh no, that’s on me. I sometimes move in my sleep."

"Promise I’m clean.” Lapis crosses her heart.

The phone buzzes like a cicada in heat.

“It’s nine. I’m going to be turned into the rouge she uses.”  Peridot balls up her fists and looks like a deer in the head lights.

“Want me to answer it?” Lapis offers, “I could say you were busy helping a homeless youth, myself, rediscover herself and passion for art. It’s a feel good story.”

“Miss Diamond would tell me to stop wasting time.” Peridot pulls at her hair before jumping up and stripping out of last night's clothes.

“Ouch.” Lapis cringes, she was glad her bosses were a glue sniffer and and 74 year old women. “Also, um, thanks!” Lapis tries to articulate as Peridot runs around the room pulling on pantyhose and a grey blazer.

“I don’t think I’ve slept so well in a lifetime.” Lapis looks across the room at her reflection. The bags under eyes were still dark moons dragging her face down, but were less red lines and more pools of milk. Nice.

“Uh, well, no big deal.” Peridot comments distractedly. “You can even hang out here a little longer. Or however long.” She brushes her teeth like a mad women. “Fuck,” she curses as she falls over in her heels.

“Gosh, have you considered a little remedy I call, ‘not caring?’ It works great and I still have a job.”

“Sure, once I graduate from having a heel shoved up my ass when I tell Miss Diamond, ‘I just don’t care anymore’ I’ll tell you how it goes.” She looks her in the eye as she says that. Lapis smiles. Peridot looks away in a hurry.

Peridot cleans up nicely and grabs her purse before rushing towards the door.

“I hope this wasn’t weird,” She says in the last moments.

“I’m the one that made you late.” 

“If I’m fired I’ll take you to pasta.” She says dryly. “And then to that fight club.”

Lapis laughs, “I’ll see you later!”

“Yeah.” She breaths, “see you. Uh, take care. And if you see that guy again…” Their eyes meet and something passes between them.

Lapis nods, Peridot’s phone rings for the fifth time and her eye twitches. She finally answers it,

“Sorry, sorry, my cousin was in the hospital….” Peridot lies like a pro.

Lapis looks for her pants.

She wanders into the bedroom again and stares at the mattress they shared. She had cuddled with a high strung, high-end girl...gross, but more than that…

She had slept.

It was magic, it was a miracle, it made her want to take off all her clothes and wait for Peridot to come home like some horny housewife. She resists the urge to wait naked in a stranger's bed.

Even if it would be hilarious. And Lapis didn’t want Peridot getting too many idea’s. Lapis still had rules.

She stretches, reaching towards the ceiling. “Feels like a good day to skip work.” She announces to no one as she plans to treat herself to Chinese food and then spend the whole night watching Seinfeld. Healthy things.

She goes to Peridot’s bathroom for a drink, mouthwash and maybe some snooping.

She washes her mouth out and then wanders around Peridot’s apartment. She gathers her clothes and continues to examine who Peridot was. It was a sterile and mostly unpersonalized space with a few gadgets and computer games on the shelves.

“Peridot Farid.” She murmurs as she reads some golden letters off a bag toting Peridot’s full name, “I can’t believe you have a briefcase.”

It was a new looking brown box with golden latches and faintly leathery smell. Lapis sniffs it again and then, shifting her eyes around, grabs onto the latches.

“Maybe she needs this…I could bring it to her,” she pops it open for curiosity's sake. “Oh.”

It was all but empty except for a small note written on pale pink paper.

‘Happy Birthday sweetie!! Good luck at your new job!’ It reads.

“Fuck.” Is all Lapis can say, they were so cute. “You’re so cute.”

She gets up, absolutely without a bitter taste in her mouth, and finds her purse. True to not being a dick she doesn’t take anything, even if she really needed some new knives and an oven mitt.

She stands at the door, holding the frame thoughtfully.

She could just leave, maybe never see her again and maybe leave this as a faint fond memory.

She runs back in, her face red, she grabs a piece of paper, and scribbles as fast as her hand would let her before she changes her mind,

‘hey! Thanks for everything, if you ever need anything in return, here’s my number’ She slows down and writes her phone number down in neat legible print.

She runs out the door, her skirt flapping in the breeze. Peridot could do what she will with the note.

Lapis catches her bus back home and then sits staring out the window for 45 minutes. 

Later that night she gorges herself on shitty Chinese food and her mind refuses to let her sleep.

\---------

 

Lapis sees Peridot again three days later, four O’Clock in the morning. She was sitting in the middle of aisle 7, cross legged and mechanically eating chips.

Lapis considers not approaching her, she hadn’t texted her. Peridot wasn’t interested she figured.

But Peridot’s eyes were dull and lifeless. Girl needed something.

Lapis approaches slowly, hands behind her back, “hi there, you know you’ve got to pay for those?”

Peridot looks up in a creaking head shift. She takes out her wallet and hands Lapis a 20. Lapis laughs and refuses the money.

“What’s up with you?” Lapis tries to sound supportive. It was weird, but she had saved her from certain stalking.

“I like..." She stares at her hands, "chips.”

“Okay, someone’s been in the Mary Jane.”

“Pfft, I wish,” She seems more alert with that.

Lapis sits down next to in the middle of the aisle with the fluorescent lights blaring above their heads and the store as silent as the grave.

“You know one of co-workers is named ‘Admiral Adderall,’ he can hook up anyone with anything.”

Peridot chuckles, “Admiral, really?”

“OhmyGod, are you gonna?”

“No, no,” She shakes her head, “I spend half my time driving through the city and the rest of it having no free time.” She looks at her lap and chews on another dry chip.

“Geez, bad day.”

Peridot laughs manically, Lapis jumps.

“Let me tell you.”

“Tell me.” She leans in, the lifestyles of the rich and the stressed.

"Really?" She eyes her.

"Yes!" She spouts, "Really."

“Okay, she walks into the office this morning and she immediately orders me start yelling. She just barks, ‘why are you calm? Stop being calm, we need to you start screaming. We should _all_ be screaming.' As a proxy for ‘how upset she is,’ and I recorded two memos telling Rose Quartz to go fuck herself and then had me delete them.”

Lapis nods along, “and you did that all day?”

“Oh no, I spent all day talking about how our stocks were down and trying to coordinate a merger meeting with Quartz’s insufferable assistant. I hate her.”

“Lmao.” Lapis, sympathy queen.

“And now I am here. Eating dinner. Or breakfast.”

“Well, being up all night only helps your street cred, I know.”

“I slept for two hours and then had to eat. And now I am talking to you again, how are you?” She asks stiffly.

“You know. The same.”

“Good to hear.” They stare at each other silently, Lapis wonders if she’s thinking the night in the soft warm bed and chests pressed together.

“Yo! Lapis.” Someone calls her name, Lapis snaps her head up, “watch me attach swiffers to my feet and slide down the aisle.”

“Hell yes.” Lapis feels a buzz pulse through the air, it was that time that the store got weird.

“Oh,” Amethyst comes around the corner and spots Peridot lazily munching on chips, “Who's this?” She comes up to the dazed girl.

“Hi.” Peridot responds, examining her.

“This is my co-worker.” She introduces the stout Latina girl she worked with. “She just graduated high school.”

“Like 9 months ago. That’s how you introduce me?”

“We all very proud of you.”

Amethyst kicks her, “you’re snarky.”

“Hi.” Peridot repeats, “I am... a customer.”

“Oh yeah,” Amethyst looks between them, “Lapis’s customer?” She winks, Lapis's mouth twitches,

“She helped me with that guy.” She looks away.

“Oh! That’s you. I'm Amethyst.” Amethyst looks excitedly at Peridot. “you're fantastic, you go you pointy haired weirdo.”

“You told her?” Peridot eyes Lapis.

“I told the store.”

“Man, if it was me I would punched that creep into next Saturday,” Amethyst smacks her fist into her palm.

“Maybe next time.” Lapis reassures.

“Next time?” Peridot’s eyebrows jump, “has he been around?”

“No, I mean, probably not.” She responds nervously, sometimes she saw him, sometimes she thought it was all in her head.

“Into next week!” Amethyst says again and punches the air.

Peridot eats another chip, “so you guys slide down aisles?”

“Yah-ah.” Amethyst sounds like she’s saying ‘duh.’ "When it's dead."

“It’s a type of fun. If you’ve heard of it.”

“Oh no, I only know doing my job and losing my mind,” she says sarcastically. "Too tired for sliding down aisles."

“We could play cards then.”

“No!” Lapis barks as Amethyst retrieves cards from her back pocket. Lapis turns to Peridot, “she wins every time. Or cheats, probably both.”

“I could play cards,” Peridot responds lightly.

“Nice! I like your friend, or savior, or whatever Lapis.” Lapis creases her dress and arches an eyebrow at Amethyst, she better stay away.

And that’s how Lapis, her coworker and Peridot ended up playing poker in the middle of an aisle as the morning customers trickled in.

Amethyst won. She always won.

“Jackpot!” She sang and cleaned out Lapis and Peridot of all their loose change.

“So you guys just hang out all night?” Peridot asks sounding drowsy.

“Uh, sometimes we also get on the loudspeakers and play music too, thank you.”

“And you get paid?”

Lapis and Amethyst exchange a look, “if you want to call it that.” Lapis laughs.

They finish their game and Lapis glances at her watch, “well I’m off. It’s been fun, but I have to go weep softly and stare at a wall for a couple hours before I’m back here.”

“I can walk you to your bus stop.” Peridot offers.

Lapis shifts her weight and tries not to seem bashful, “Cool.” Why was she so nice. She shouldn’t be nice. She should be the mean girl demanding pasta.

“Well, you listened to my problems all night.”

“You should quit.” Amethyst told her for the fourth time.

“We’ll see.”

“I wouldn’t let home girl boss me around like a punching bag.”

“Counterpoint,” Lapis inputs, “she’s probably hot.”

They laugh together as Peridot goes red in the face, “you don’t know what she looks like.”

“I’m guessing. She also is a widow of three and wears spider venom lipstick.”

Amethyst leans on her, “and sleeps in a coffin.”

“How did you all know. That's it, that's her.” Peridot says dryly. “And I want her to bend me over a table.” She crosses her arms.

That sobered Lapis up, “really?”

Peridot rolls her eyes, “No.” She cracks a smile, “Not all the time.”

Amethyst cackles and Lapis threads her fingers through her hair, “I’m going to go clock out.” She hops to the employee room, gathering her things and preparing herself for Peridot. This could be good, right?

She comes out and walks with the smaller women to the bus stop, they discuss how cold it is outside, and Peridot looks distracted. Like she’s looking for someone.

“You know. I don’t need a bodyguard.”

“What? No. I just don’t like stuff like what happened.”

“Yeah.” Lapis agrees. “But sometimes you just forget about it. When do you have work?” She changes the subject.

“Today.” Peridot says briefly.

“You know, you probably shouldn’t drive.”

“Why?” Peridot looks at her sharply for the first time.

Lapis tries to shrug nonchalantly, “It can get you in trouble. I lost my license when I fell asleep at the wheel and hit a tree.”

“Oh…” Peridot goes quite, Lapis curses herself.

“And now I’m a bus girl! Yay.” She says weakly, “Cars are too expensive anyway.”

“Maybe, I could…” She pauses, “ride into town with you?”

Lapis mentally high fives herself, “sure, I mean if you want to.”

Peridot nods, “I bet no one will notice I’m wearing the same thing from yesterday.”

Lapis winks at her, “you could just say you were with me all night.”

Peridot’s cheeks heat up, this was too much fun. “Sure. Everyone knows who my local grocer is. They’ll be impressed.”

“Say your hot young grocer. They’ll get it.”

“My hot grocer.” She repeats and Lapis almost stumbles as they make it to the bus stop. Her hot grocer.

They wait in the morning sun again, quietly, amiably.

Lapis felt something like a hushed ease.

They get on the 6 O’Clock bus and sit next to each other in the noisy rickety seats.

They help each other with Candy Crush on their phones and spend the 45 minutes complaining and teasing each other. It was only in the last ten minutes Lapis got serious.

“You know...you don’t always have to drive home if you don’t want to, if you’ve only got a little time to sleep that is.”

Peridot snorts, “yeah and I’ll just go fuck off to Narnia in the mean time.”

“No, I mean, I live in the city, you work in the city, you bring me sleeping tea or something, I return the favor.” Lapis tried to articulate herself.

Peridot looks confused and blinks her eyes rapidly, “you mean...stay at your place?”

“I mean, it’s not all sterile like yours, but I have a bed and some pillows and covers.” She tries to stammer out. "And a debt." Hitting on girls or making friends or talking to Peridot in general was plain hard.

Peridot stares out the window, Lapis wilts. She’d gone too far.

She turns back to her, Peridot catches her eye directly, “sure. I mean, I wouldn't normally say yes. But it sounds like a good deal.” She shifts in her seat, looking small. “I appreciate it.”

Lapis grins. “Text me whenever. Bring me tea, we can try and sleep.”


	5. The Study of Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should just have some sort of disclaimer that my chapters are always rewritten.  
> As in, note: this chapter is also rewritten

Peridot focuses on a dark figure in the bushes, wide shouldered and a little too close to the King Soopers for her liking, he lurked in the foliage behind the store like a heavy shadow weighing on her mind.

She picks up an empty bottle from the ground, “hey!” She calls to the lump in the bush, it doesn’t move, Peridot doesn’t like this. “Hey!” It rustles.

“Get out of here!” She yells and throws the bottle at the outline.

It hits the figure in the back. He turns around, he has a scraggly beard, knit cap and bottle in a brown paper bag.

“What the fuck?” He asks angrily while massaging his skull.

“Oh.” Peridot definitely thought he had been someone else, a previous stalker someone. Whatever. “Get out of here.” She shoos him aggressively.

“I’m trying to sleep here.” He asserts indignantly.

Peridot was not the type to admit a mistake. “Go drink somewhere else.” She says instead, pointing in some distant direction.

“Oh come on,” he doesn’t look to dangerous, “you can have some.” He offers her the paper bag.

“I don’t want your bush booze.” She backs up, repulsed.

“Suit yourself.” He gets up and starts lumbering off, drinking the brew. Peridot exhales, she was glad it wasn’t anyone else.

She turns back to the back entrance of the King Soopers, tapping her foot aptly as she waits in the chilled weather.

She’s prepared to text or maybe contact her informant Amethyst when the door finally opens.

Lapis closes it behind her in a daze before she spots Peridot, “oh,” She says, “Peri, what are you doing here?” She looks confused.

Peridot clears her throat, “I had to get up early to pick up...something,” She stumbles over her words, “I thought I’d stop by.” She had rehearsed this in her head.

Lapis tilts her head, “It’s five in the morning.”

“Which is the time to pick it up.” She contends sagely.

“Well, alright,” A droopy Lapis accepts, “you can walk me to the bus stop again if you like.”

“Indeed.”

They walk shoulder to shoulder across the parking lot.

“How was the night?” She begins.

Lapis snorts, “uneventful. Except Amethyst hurt herself on the bread display and our manager fell off a ladder, it was all pretty dumb.”

Peridot chats with her about her usual night until the sun is peeking up halfway behind the mountains.

Peridot looks directly at Lapis, “actually there is another reason I thought I’d show up in person.”

“I thought so.” Lapis says knowingly. Peridot ignores that.

“Yes. You see, my boss is gathering up for a large event soon, and she wants me to be nearby to go over the guest list and help her strategize for appealing to shareholders.  
  


“Um, cool.” Lapis looks up and away.

Peridot clears her throat for what felt like the third time, “I thought I would,” she pauses, choosing her words slowly, “take you up on your offer and come by this Monday. To stay in the city that is.”

“Oh!” Lapis exclaims and her eyes light up, “yeah you can stay at my place. I was wondering if that was going to happen.”

“Good.” This was going smoothly.

“And you really had to come to me in person? You have my number."  
  


“I thought it would be...more appropriate.” And seeing her wasn't necessarily bad.

“I guess, I guess I’ll see you Monday then?” Lapis’s cheeks flare with red in the cold and she gets up to hop on the bus. “Are you riding into town with me?”  
  


“No, no, I have to drive today.” Peridot is smiling to herself.

“Cool, alright.” She pays the bus driver and waves Peridot off, who congratulates herself in her head as the bus departs.

\----------

 

Peridot stands in front of a door with the words “apt 205” scrawled on a brass plate. She stands up taller and politely knocks on the door three times.

The building had been a pain to find, tucked away behind the sultry neon light district and the sticky leftovers of a city being built and rebuilt. However, it ended up being surprisingly close to her work. Her bones feel weary from the long day but she was prepared for the night.

“Hello.” She calls through the wall after a little bit. Someone rustles from within.

“Aw!” Lapis swings open the door, “you made it.” She looked clean and had a wide smile on her face under her usual insomnia-bruised eyes.

“Yes.” Peridot dips her head at her, “I brought your tea too.”

“Come the fuck in then.” Lapis stands out of the way and let’s Peridot shuffle into the room, curiously looking around.

"I like the place." She comments.

It had a certain aesthetic to it. It wasn't necessarily messy but it was haphazard. An unmade bed lay on the floor next to a large window, there was no bed frame so it just sat on the concrete floor with pillows and blankets surrounding it like a nest.

Lapis had pictures plastering all across the walls, art and detailed airplane designs and Leonardo Da Vinci portraits with Farside Comics on the ceiling. It was eclectic.

A tiny kitchen was tucked away in the corner alongside her rack of clothing and a dresser with one door to a bathroom she assumed. It _was_ a matchstick box.

The central piece of the room was a small television that lit the floor, faced by a chair and beanbag seat and what looked like cold take-out on the ground next to it.

“So this is where you live.” She notes.

Lapis spreads her arms, “home sweet home.”

“You live alone too?” She asks curiously since Lapis seemed like the type to have roommates.

“You can put your stuff down anywhere,” She instructs, “no but, I am sort of a terrible roommate. Being awake at 3 watching old Scooby Doo reruns isn’t exactly good flatmate material. But!” She says loudly making Peridot jump, “I am making an exception for you since you bring me my fix.”

“Oh yeah.” Peridot puts down her overnight bag and rifles throw it, she finds the tea and tosses it to Lapis.

“Nice.” She says inspecting it, “I’ll go make some now.”

Lapis makes the tea while Peridot eats some of the casserole she brought at Lapis’s tiny table. They chat about work and their co-workers.

“And Rebecca destroyed the coffee machine again.” Peridot complains heatedly.

“Fucking Rebecca.” Lapis confirms passionately shaking her head, making Peridot laugh.

“I'm glad someone agrees."

Lapis sips her tea, “what is this thing you’re preparing for anyway?” She asks curiously.

“It’s an event Rose Quartz holds every year. The theme and guest list are sent out around this time and we want to strategize, so on and so on.” Peridot explains calmly.

“What kind of event?”

Peridot wrinkles her nose, “A gaudy one.”

“I like it.” She grins, “how’d you get a job like that anyway? Or like, why did you keep it.”

Peridot sighs, that was the million dollar question, “My mom knew Yellow Diamond's old assistant and got me an interview. I had some experience as a secretary, and she tried me out. She owns Diamond Tech Co, a computer company I want to work for so I assumed it wouldn’t hurt to work for the boss to get hired there.”

“And?”

“She said she liked how ruthless I was and kept me around.”

Lapis laughs, “what a trip. I hope you get the computer job or something soon.”

“I won’t but thank you.”

“Awe, don’t think like that Per-per.” She teases her, Peridot makes a face.

“No, I mean, they’re not hiring, they’re downsizing since Quartz Industry hit the market. That’s why I have to work round the clock, we’re losing to _that_ women.”

“Oh shit,” Lapis makes an ‘o’ face, “Wolf of Wallstreet that lady.”

“It’s a little more complex than that, but,” She chews her food, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

They sit silently for a moment.

“Hey, if you are a computer whiz do you think you could look at mine?”

“Well, as your guest, I suppose so.” Peridot concedes.

Peridot planned on sleeping, but spent a half an hour instead taking out the bugs on Lazuli’s 2010 Dell anyway.

“No, you see, if you have to delete this file, and then wipe all related cookies on it out.”

“And that will stop the pop ups?” She watches fixedly at Peridot’s fingers, Peridot shifts under her gaze, puffing her chest out a little when she seems impressed.

“It should, yes.”

“God, you’re a lifesaver.” She squeezes her shoulder and Peridot heats up inside like a roman candle.

“Well, your place isn’t so bad.” She says lamely.

“You like it?”

“Yeah. The airplanes are cool.”

“Yeah, I was a aeronautics major before...stuff.”

“Aeronautics?" She eyes her, "Really?”

“Kinda…I changed majors a lot.” She wanders over to her beanbag chair and sits down, “art, journalism, marine biology and history some. And then you know, nothing.”

Peridot smiles at her sympathetically, or at least tries to. She looks around frantically, “what is this one for?” She asks curiously about a design, Lapis lights up and walks over.

“Oh this one was a crazy one designed by Da Vinci, he was made-to-go genius, look, and here is how it propelled itself…” She pointed out the different mechanisms on it and the theory of flight.

Peridot nods along, keeping her mouth shut for once as the pretty blue-haired girl worked herself into a excited tizzy.

“Tch,” Finally, Peridot breaks out.

“What?” Lapis puts her hands on her hips as she finishes explaining possible future flight designs.

“I’m sorry, you just really are a dork too.”

“Me?” Her eyebrows fly up, “a dork.” She pulls her chair cushion off and throws it at her. “You just fixed my five year old computer!”

Peridot dodges the pillow easily and crosses her arms, “doesn’t change anything.”

Lapis gives her a wicked grin and approaches slowly, “come here.” She puts her hands up.

Peridot blinked, “what? No. We’re in our twenties.”

“Let me show you how buff I am. Total jock, no nerd in me.” 

“Back up,” Peridot inched away from her claw like hands,

“Heheh,”

Peridot turned around and scurried away, Lapis chased her gleefully.

“This is ridiculous.” Lapis grabbed her by the waist and easily lifted her off her feet. “Eep.”

“You’re fault for being so small.” Peridot struggled in her arms as she proved her strength by picking her up. “What are you, 5 feet?”

“5 foot one, thank you.”

“Look! I bet I can lift you above my head.”

“Don’t you-” Lapis lifted her but Peridot wiggled and her arms gave way, they both topple to the floor.

“Oof!” Peridot lands on top of Lapis and they lay motionless on top of each other.

“Ow.”

“This was inevitable.” She groans. Peridot lays across Lapis, rubbing her elbow.

Lapis stares up at the ceiling blankly, then, very suddenly, she starts to laugh. A pure bubbling over of giggling.

Peridot feels the vibrations through Lapis’s stomach, she can’t help it, she starts laughing from the sensation.

“Stop it!” She shakes, “you’re making me laugh too.”

Lapis laughs and wipes her eyes, “this is ridiculous.”

“No, that’s just you.” But Peridot keeps shaking and her body vibrates with laughter in a feedback cycle of chuckles.

Peridot feels a little bit of ease, until the laughing subsides and she suddenly becomes acutely aware of Lapis under her, Lapis’s skin, her waist, her messy hair and wide grey eyes filled with a wild joy.

Her breath fed into Peridot’s and felt intimate in a way she wasn’t used to. Peridot sits up.

“So?” Lapis asks.

“So, what?”

“Who's the jock?”

Peridot groans, “fine. It’s you. Queen of picking up 110 pound people.”

Lapis stretches out across the floor and sighs, “damn straight.”

Peridot lies next to her this time. They stare at the ceiling silently as if it’s the night sky.

“Thanks.” Lapis says softly, just above inaudible. “I haven’t done that in awhile.” Peridot doesn’t respond but does nod her head slightly.

Lapis smiles at her, and their faces turn to each other, inches apart under the bright apartment lights. It's very still, and Peridot's brain feels slow and dumb. They are inches apart, hint of laughter still on her full lips.

 _Peridot’s phone rings_. Their eyes break and Peridot hunches her shoulders.

She sits up reluctantly. She reaches for bag and pops out her phone, “The guest list is out. I have to go.” She asserts sullenly.

Lapis tilts her head, “seriously?”

“Seriously.” Peridot gets up and finds her shoes again.

Lapis gets up to and reaches for her jacket, “do you want me to walk with you?” She offers, “it’s not all that safe this late at night.”

Peridot looks outside, it was late. She hesitates, “you could.”

Lapis shoves her shoes on, “you’ve walked me places before.” She points out.

“Well, I guess a big jock couldn’t hurt.”

“Oh yeah, nerd protector, that’s my real job.”

She chuckles and shakes her head, they walk to the door.

They exit down the several steps of the apartment complex. It smelled like stale air and too many fires started in the hallway.

They make it outside into the brisk weather and start the trek. It wasn’t too far.

Lapis stares up at the sky, “it kind of sucks we can never see stars.” She comments.

“Hmm?” Peridot turns to look at her, “it’s the city.”

“Well, Ms. suburbs, you begin to miss them.”

“Not all milky ways are created equal.” She says sarcastically.

Lapis stops in place and repeats the phrase.

Peridot stops and has to wait for her, “what?”

“I like that. I could paint that.” She catches up to her and they keep walking downtown.

“You like painting?”

Lapis concentrates her gaze on her, unblinking, “I like pretty things.”

Peridot pauses for a moment, and then bites the inside of her cheek.

They jog down the sidewalk, Lapis points out drugs deals to her and Peridot tells her about Rose Quartz’s annual fund raiser.

“And _I_ have to mingle.” She complains, “I wasn’t made to mingle.”

“And how many tantrums do you throw per ball?”

“At least three. It’s why the suitors stay so far away.” She fans herself like a southern bell dramatically, it was easier to be silly around Lapis Lazuli.

“Good.” Lapis says lowly. Peridot shivers slightly.

They slow down as they get closer to Diamond Co. Peridot reluctantly drags her feet to the door, she didn’t want to do this.

“Well. If you ever get done with this meeting, you can drop by again.” Lapis gives her a tight smile.

“Yeah.” She breaths, “thank you.”

“We’re just getting even. No big deal.”

“Will you be okay getting home?”

“I’m a city girl. I got it.”

“Okay...be..okay.” She garbles her words, there is somehow a lot she wants to say.

“Sure.” She waves at her, “do your nerd thing. Get money, woo shareholders, raise hell.”

"Sleep well." She says back.

"In theory, yes."

Peridot turns around, her and Lapis part, she gets in the elevator and tiredly takes out her phone, she sends one message, a couple of words that her fingers hover over the send button nervously, ‘I had a good time.’ She pauses, 'we should do it again.'


	6. Making my Way Downtown

Lapis squirms in her bed, she turns to her side, she kicks her blankets off and pulls them back on. She turns over onto her stomach and groans into her pillow, nothing was working. She turns back over.

This was her life now. Staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the paradox of being so tired you can’t sleep. Lapis bunched the fabric up in her fists and curses.

She considered taking another sleeping pill, it’s not like she had anything to do tomorrow, but there was a little label on the side that said DO NOT TAKE MORE THAN 2.

She was at her limit, and it’s not like she wanted to find out what happened after that.

Lapis shed her blankets and sat upright in bed, her head swam with dizziness as she did but her brain wouldn’t let up, worrying like a two ton wrestler putting her in a headlock. Figures.

She decided to walk it off, if her crappy body wouldn’t cooperate she might as well give into the electricity in her veins.

Lapis shrugs on a coat and pair of jeans over her pajamas. She slips on some loose boots and one pair of earmuffs that looked like fuzzy squirrels taped to her head.

She sighs and looks in the mirror, a gaunt looking 20 something stares back at her, red glowing eyes and comparatively pale complexion. This was her life now.

She fluffs her hair and heads out the door.

She skipped down the stairs two at a time, making it outdoors and inhaling the sharp early spring air, it was so much better than the burnt smell of the apartment complex.

She shoves her hands into her pockets and starts walking.

It was dark out, but not too dark, cities like hers never got that dim, the shops are closed, even the bars at this hour, so she keeps walking.

One step after the next, mechanically, obsessively, the world spins before her, but something tight and wound up keeps her going.

She arrives at a bright green park, casting exaggerated shadows in the wake of the streetlights. She sits down and stares blankly up at the sky, it was haze of empty space above her.

She sighs, examining the tall buildings and twinkling lights of apartments and office buildings glowing into the far off hours.

She considers lying down on the bench and daring her insomnia to waver, come on, do it, but she didn’t want to be murdered or arrested in a park that badly.

She takes out her cellphone and types in it diligently, ‘want 2 come out?’

She taps her fingers on the bench, kicks a clump of dirt, and waits for a reply.

Restlessness gets the best of her, she got back up on creaking legs and starts walking again. She walks in a hurry, breathless, angry pace, walking like the world was ending, she makes it out of the park to arrive at a familiar 24 hour diner.

Huh.

She shifts her weight from foot to foot, examining the brightly lit neon entrance, she looks around, loitering outside until she finally resolves to go in.

It was a cute place, classic, with brown tiles and large windows and a 50s vibe, she takes off her ear muffs as the heated air hits her face. 

“Hi Lapis.” A cheerful voice greets her at the door.

“Sadie.” She nods her head at her, “taking a break from the bar?” She asks curiously.

“I wish. This is still my second job.” Lapis nods at that, not envying the girl.

“Do you want a seat?” She gestures around at the empty diner, occupied by one other dour looking patron in a business suit.

“Definitely.” She confirms and waits until Sadie picks out a booth for her.

She sits down sullenly and looks out the window, everything looked the same.

“One coffee.” She asks softly.

“Coming right up.”

Lapis places her hands in her lap and glances at her phone.

She fiddles with her coat strings until Sadie comes back. Sadie pours a thick liquid into a cup and then turns to leave.

“Wait.” Lapis calls to her back, not know what she’s doing, “do you want to sit down?”

“Oh.” Sadie glances around nervously, and then grins, “why not. My boss is asleep in the back I would bet my money.”

Lapis snickers, “I’m sure.” She places her hands on the table, “my boss does the same thing. Except in the employee room. With sniffing glue.”

Sadie’s eyes go wide, “that’s _so_ bad for you.”

“Meh,” She shrugs, Lapis didn’t really know what was good for people anymore, “I’m not one to judge. I fell asleep in the produce aisle yesterday. While standing.”

Sadie cringes and then laughs,

“I’m used to it though.” Lapis says lightly.

“Hey, my cousin had an issue like that, a kleptomaniac, until she went to this special camp and they made lanyards, she sent me like ten. And now she rarely picks up things 'for free' I guess.”

“Is this the hot one?” Lapis bounces her eyebrows up and down.

Sadie goes red in the face but nods, “my hot cousin, yeah. But she’s getting married in June so I'm not giving you her number.” She wags her finger at her, Lapis chuckles.

“Speaking of romance, how is that guy?” She didn't want to talk about people who got 'fixed.'

“Uh,”

“The tall one.”

“Lars.” Sadie squeaks. “He’s uh, well, good! Kind of frustrating too. I had to send him to the back yesterday to stop him from yelling at the customers, and it then he invited me to get food after work." She smiles and then sighs like a rainwater of a emotion is bouncing through her. "He didn't pay, so it wasn't a date.”

“And how was it?”

Sadie glanced down shyly, “good.”

Lapis laughs, “good to hear. I’ll text you the ten strategies to bag a man. Even though you could completely do better.” Lapis was convinced Sadie could get so many better guys, but she was fixed on that lanky dude.

“What about you?” She changes the subject, “how’s your love life? I haven’t seen you down here in awhile.” She gives her a knowing look.

It was Lapis’s turn to fidget, “uh, well, you know." She looks out the window.

“So there is someone.”

“There is this girl.” Lapis grins sideways.

“I knew it!” She crows, “what’s she like?”

“Terrible.” Lapis crossed her arms over her chest, “she’s a dork, and overworked, and,”

“And?”

“And like really cute, Sadie.” Lapis whines, “she brings me tea and yells at the TV when it plays, my heart goes all,” Lapis makes a strange gesture, “I can’t believe how dumb it is.” Lapis holds her head in her hands.

Sadie bounces in her seat, “Lapis Lazuli with a crush. I can’t believe it.”

“Really?”

“No offense, but you come in here looking like death and then tell me about the crazy sad indie bands you're into.”

“I am a misunderstood soul.” She replies solemnly with some humor in her eyes.

“Yeah, well, happy Lapis is good too.”

“Well, I mean, happy Lapis is way in the future.”

“What’s her name? You could bring her here.” Sadie says excitedly, Lapis makes a face.

“Her name is ‘never gonna happen’ with a side of ‘terrible decisions'.”

“What?”

“I mean,” Lapis’s heart flutters, “I have been... _flirting_. But it would still be a bad idea.” She takes a long drag of her coffee.

Sadie’s brow furrows, “or not?” She offers.

“No one wants a sleepy girlfriend who works at a low end grocery store, and oh, had her driver's license taken away, college drop out, got an MIP, is banned from the local Walmart,” she lists off all the stupid thing she’d done while tired, or snappish, or being herself.

“Oh, Lapis.” Sadie breaths and then covers her hand with her smaller one. “Anyone would be lucky to have you. You just have the whole bad-girl with a sense of humor going on." Sadie tried to cheer her on.

She snorts, "It's okay. I'm not fishing for compliments."

"Let me get you some more coffee.”

“Plus,” Lapis mumbles, “I don’t think I want a girlfriend.” Lapis Lazuli, master of confidence.

Sadie pours her more coffee, and they go back to talking about their bad bosses.

It was pleasant, it was always pleasant, the perks of never sleeping meant you met a lot of people.

Sadie had to get up when people started to trickling in, one by one like ghosts sucked in by the heated air and promise of morning bacon.

“You can stay as long as you like,” Sadie pats her shoulder, “lie down even.”

Lapis gives her a grateful smile, “thanks.”

“Oh,” Sadie pauses as she gets up to leave, “And Lapis. Knowing you, I’m sure that girl likes you back.”

Lapis creases her brow, “Maybe,” Her mouth makes a straight line, she lies her head on the table, “we'll see.”

Sadie gets down to serving customers and Lapis lies down in the booth. And puts her hands on her crossed arms and closes her eyes.

She reaches a slight doze, shallow and uncomfortable, but she dreams of dark shapes and Peridot’s hands on her waist.

It was quite when she sat up, Sadie was busy and Lapis’s chest was tight and eyes stinging.

Lapis stands up and heads outside again on numb legs. She starts walking again. And walking.

Her legs are loose noodles that push her forward like rubber bands bent on bending and snapping forward.

Lapis walks to the end of the block, anxiety fills her, about Peridot, about her non-existent future. Her head fills with dust and she walks until she aches. She walks until she doesn’t know where she is.

She shuffles the pavement, beats the asphalt, looses herself in the endless walls of building blocks.

Wait, Lapis looks around, unfamiliar streets surround her in all directions, her eyes go wide. She had walked until she didn’t know where she was.

She tries to go west, the direction she lives in, until she reaches a dead end. Shit.

Lapis really wished she had a smartphone at that moment. Or the night wasn’t filled with questionable characters like Todd 'the winker,' she finds a bus stop and sits down at it.

‘hey,’ she texts, ‘you wouldn’t happen to want to pick a lost girl up?’

Lapis should stop getting in bad situations.

Peridot texts her back in ten minutes when Lapis apparently got herself more lost.

‘Where are you?’ Peridot texts and Lapis perks up and looks around.

She finds two street signs, ‘Magnolia and Crescent Ave. Bad part of town, man’

‘I’ll be there.’ Lapis’s heart skips a beat. She was going to be there.

Lapis stands and then sits, and then curses herself, this was definitely not the way to make good impressions on the girl.

Lapis plays tetris on her phone and tries not to make eye contact with people until a shiny silver car pulls up.

Lapis eyebrows fly up. A familiar figure rolls down the window, “you okay?” She asks casually.

Lapis gives a weary smile, “we have to stop meeting like this.” She gets up and pulls at the door handle.

“Like what?”

“I just owe a lot of neck-saving at this point.” She climbs into the passenger's seat.

“Yes, well, you let me stay at your place...and.”

Lapis eyes her, “um.”

Peridot looks pained, “This is a company car.”

“So?”

“I may or may not need to take it back right away.”

Lapis grins, “you totally stole a car for me.” Lapis clenches her own hands to keep herself awake, the night was finally catching up to her.

“Something like that.” Peridot gives a cat like frown. “You okay with coming to my office?”

Lapis thinks about her pajama chic look and tilts her head. “Why not.”

Peridot starts chastising her, “why were you out here?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Lapis yawns like the waking dead.

“Oh my God,” Peridot starts making frustrated sounds, but Lapis can’t pay attention anymore. She rests her head on Peridot’s shoulder gently while Peridot yammers. Sitting in the warm car with leather seats and Peridot besides her apparently lent to the exhaustion closing in on her.

“Hey Peridot,” She interrupts her,

“What?”

“Thanks.” Lapis lulls again into a listless sleep, her head on her shoulder. She doesn’t wake up this time.

\---------

Lapis wakes up after what feels like a lifetime later, she’s on a couch in a small office. Someone had carried her there, she sits up and groans, holding her head in her hands. She was groggy, but then she has a sudden thought. An images of Peridot struggling to carry her bridal style up the stairs play out behind her eyes.

She starts laughing silently to herself, tears form at the end of her eyes, it was ridiculous. She stops laughing and realizes her heart is racing, she had carried her gently up to a couch, enough to not wake her, Lapis blushes. She was in over her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my new Nanowrimo! (National Write a Novel in a Month thing) I'm excited. So, uh, I'll publish a revised version either throughout the month or at the end of it.


	7. Smoke Break

Peridot stands out on the balcony overlooking the city, it was a thin strip of walkway that was hidden between the hell of hallways that zig-zagged into a grey oblivion and the janitors closet.

She turns her back on the wind to protect her lighter, creating a small flame flickering in the chilled air, she guiltily sticks a thin white stick into her mouth and lights it.

Peridot was a smart girl, a knowledgeable girl, a cautious one but she was also a stressed asshole. Peridot only drank around other people, only cried at funerals and she only smoked when she was stressed.

And she was becoming constantly stressed.

The black tar fills her lungs like a fistful of mortar and she exhales deeply, pushing out all the the anxiety and high strung overtime out into the open air. She closes her eyes and the world melts away. Just her and the clouds of smoke puffing out the tightness in and hamsters on a wheel in her chest.

“Those things will kill you ya’ know.” Peridot jumps when a voice interrupts her guilty exploits. “Can I bum one off of you?” Peridot turns around to find a pretty dark skinned girl with a small afro talking to her.

“Do I know you?”

“Nah, but it’s never too late to start.” She seemed friendly, as well as familiar.

“You look like…” She squints her eyes, “Kiki.”

“Oh so you know my sister.” She observes, “yeah she’s that head secretary or whatever. I’m just a temp, she helped me land the gig.” She puts out her hand for a cigarette.

Peridot eyes it warily.

She chuckles, “I do recognize you though. You live in apartment complex down on Boston Blvd.”

“No,” she sputters, “that’s my friends place. Do you…?”

“Nah, but one of my boyfriends does live there. I’m Jenny by the way.”

“One of my…” She elbows Peridot playfully,

“I’m just playin’, now, how about that smoke?”

She helps her light the candlestick thin cigarette and she puffs in and out in the week light of the afternoon sun.

“These will kill you know.” Peridot informs her.

“Oh? Got a problem with it?”

“You’re young, not tied down.” Peridot leans forward on the railing like a French sailor who had seen too much war, “the clods out there haven’t beaten you down.”

“You don’t know that. And you’re young too.”

“Me? Not in here.” She points to her chest and she laughs lowly.

“You work for Ms. Diamond?” She asks slowly.

“Work for her? I am dying for her.”

She laughs at her shortly, “dying for her? What are trying to get hitched.”

“Oh God, to that? As my wife? Maybe it'd be hot for a second but…”

Jenny clears her throat, “Mrs. Peridot I need you to create five new types of dishes that don’t stain and then lick my boots clean until dinner time.”

Peridot snorts, “so you have met her!”

She chuckles, “yeah.”

Peridot take another deep inhale of smoke before lighting another one.

“So, one boyfriend or two?”

She looks at Peridot sheepishly, “they know about each other. It’s all mutual. Hell we’re looking to move into together in June.”

“That’s kinda cute." Peridot reflects, "Into Blvd?”

“Nah. That place is a dump, you should tell your “friend” to move.”

She eyes her, “uh, 'friend'?” She puts the same quotation marks around the word that Jenny did.

She smirks at you, “I hear those sounds you two make in the middle of the night.”

Peridot goes completely red in the face, “it’s not, she’s just, Lapis doesn’t sleep.” She covers her face, that sounded just as bad.

Jenny is laughing again, she puts the cigarette out on the railing, “I’ll see ya’ around Peri.” She exits the balcony and Peridot is left alone with her thoughts.

She stares off into space and drifts into a void of thought, but the only deep thoughts she has is the Mow Mix commercial on repeat, she scowls, puts her second cigarette out and goes back inside after all.

Peridot realigns her hair from the wind and checks if her lunch was over. It wasn’t.

“There you are.” She jumps again at a sudden voice, these things had to stop happening. Peridot looks around until she spots Lapis exiting the side lounge she had deposited her in.

“Lapis,” she breathes, “you’re awake. I am almost forgot about you.” Peridot had completely forgot about her.

“Yeah, what a trip, and this is your office?” She looks around curiously.

“Come on, let me take you to my desk.” Peridot didn’t want too many people staring at Lapis, and uh, reporting her.

She takes her down the hall, the only sound being her clicking heels on the thin carpet and the tip-tapping of people’s hands on keyboards. Some people whisper, but she figures it doesn’t matter.

“You smell like,” Lapis inhales deeply, “cigarette smoke. Have you been smoking?”

Peridot flashes her eyes at her, “in here.” She takes her to her own little assistant room situated right outside of Ms. Diamonds large office.

“Those things are so bad for you.”

“So is walking around downtown at 3 in the morning!” She retorts.

Lapis sniffs, “I’m street smart.”

“Not when you're tired. It’s 4, you’ve been here all day.”

Lapis shrugs, “at least I don’t have a chance of starting any forest fires smokey the bear.” She pokes Peridots side and she smiles despite herself.

“Tch, aren’t you happy I’m at least not a stoner?”

“No. Because that would be hilarious.” She pokes her again and Peridot bats her hand away.

“This isn’t the King Soopers.”

“Yeah. It’s more boring. Give me a tour?”

“Here’s my desk. There’s a dresser Ms. Diamond stores fresh suits in.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“And there’s a pen I chew on, and then the Eiffel tower of paperwork I like to imagine will be destroyed by aliens if they ever invade Diamond Inc.”

“Aliens?”

Peridot stares at her blankly, “They always destroy the Eiffel tower.” Peridot pauses and stares at her blankly, “sci-fi 101.”

“Well sci-fi-scinating.”

Peridot snorts and shakes her head, .

“And here’s my small couch I sometimes nap on and try to recover my soul at.”

“Why didn’t you put me there?” Lapis asks as she inspects the grey play-couch.

“Because my boss might, just might, question me about the unconscious girl I dragged into the office.”

Lapis laughs, “you’re delight this afternoon.”

Peridot massages the bridge of her nose and sighs, “sorry, sorry. It’s been a long day. Long week.”

“Is that why you smell like cigarettes?”

“No.” She rolls her eyes and replies sarcastically, “That’s my perfume.”

“French, I would guess.” She closes one eye to look at her and grins.

“And you look...happy?”

She shrugs, “I slept well. Accept this crick in my neck, but hey thanks for carrying me up all those stairs.”

Peridot feels a rising color in her cheeks, she crosses her arms defensively, “it was nothing. I'm used to it.”

“Suuure.”

“And this is my modern art piece installed for the modern feel to our modern office.”

They both pause and stare at a flame surrounded by multi-colored reds and pinks that turn into rose petals.

“It looks like-”

“I know.”

“It looks like-”

“Yes.”

“Vagina.” Peridot grabs the bridge of her nose again, “is it subliminal work ethic motivation?”

Peridot looks at her strangely. She opens her mouth to reply when a clicking of heels comes down the hall, she goes two shades paler.

“Ms. Diamond.”

“Cool.”

“Quick, under the desk.”

“Wait, really?” Lapis puts her hands on her hips and looks defiant.

“Yes, really.”

Lapis sighs deeply, “this is only because you helped me out earlier.”

“Under.” Lapis crawls under the table just as the door swings open.

“Peridot!” Ms. Diamond calls. “I have three things.” Peridot takes out her notepad to write them down, “first, remind me to fire you.”

“What? Fire?” She feels her heart jump into her throat, as well as almost a sense of relief, if not whiplash.

“And now you’re rehired. Congratulations. Two, my sister is very unhappy. Three, Rose Quartz still has a fundraiser coming up and we have to continue the war plan.”

“Right. The war plan.”

“Come in my office.”

“Buy me dinner-” She mutters under her breath, feeling snarky today.

“What?”

“Nothing!” She chirps and follows her into the office, she hears Lapis scrambling out from under the desk just as the door swings shut. Great.

“First, my sister needs an apology card.” She starts shortly, “do you know why Ms. Farid?” Her eyes flash at Peridot and she can sense it’s a trap.

“No.” She falls into the trap, let the mighty beasts devour her.

“Because my niece was given an ant farm for her birthday. That you bought.” Peridot nods slowly, already flinching.

“The story lady said-”

“Shut up!” She sparks up, and Peridot holds up her notepad as if to protect herself. Ms. Diamond takes a deep breath and slicks a stray hair back. “The child is terrified of insects. Something my sister said we should have known, and then the child's brother released all the ants into the house.”

“Um, that _is_ terrible.” Peridot's words are so wooden she can feel a forest of I-don’t-actually-care growing on them just as Ms. Diamond narrowed her eyes and took her sweet time replying.

She proceeds to lean back in her chair, “You're ass is on the line. Make the letter sincere.” She says shortly.

“Of course.” She nods like she’s possessed like the demons of an etchaskech. 

“Now. Number three.” She holds three fingers.

“What about two?”

“One was firing you. This is number three, keep up.”

“Okay.”

“Rose Quartz, as we know, is an up and coming grade-A little shit.”

“Little shit.” You write it down.

“And she’s trying to undermine me.”

“More or less.”

“ _Yes_. And many of the shareholders of the tech side of our company want to jump ship to her ‘Quartz Industry’s.’ We’re not going to let them.”

“Right.” Peridot agrees absently.

“The fundraiser,” She declares, “is going to be a major event for that. Shareholders from all over Midlands will arrive to raise money for LGBTQ youth... And we are going to out gay them.”

She snorts, laughing briefly, thinking her boss was making a joke. “Good one.”

Ms. Diamond purses her lips, “you find the suffering of gay youth funny?”

“No!” She squeaks.

Ms. Diamond smirks and taps her fingers together, “now that was the joke. But we are going to have to join what’s in vogue, the gay revolution, so on, so forth.”

“Uh, yeah. Sounds like a plan.”

“Call up every female of eligible age in my phone book. Ask her on a date. If no one says a yes…” She grabs at Peridot’s hand and proceeds to pet it. Peridot’s eyes go wide, her heart speeds up and she almost chokes on her own tongue.

“Then call of them all again. The ones with money preferably.” She barks and let’s go of her hand.

“Right. Out gay Mrs. Quartz.”

“Her assistant is way ahead of us. But winners are winners, and losers can only win for so long.”

'Winners=winners' is what she writes down on her notepad sardonically.

“Anything else ma'am?” Peridot asks so she can get to her newly assigned phone duty.

“Peridot,” she says softly.

“Yes?” She says equally soft as she reaches for the door.

“Don’t ever pull that shit again. Do your damn research.”

Peridot looks away darkly, “maybe you should have got it yourself.”

“What was that?” Ms. Diamond stands up quickly.

“Nothing.” She turns to leave.

“No. What was that?”

“Nothing.” Peridot repeats. Ms. Diamond swiftly strides to the other end of the room and grabs Peridot’s face in between her sharp manicured nails.

“What was that??” It was low and menacing just as her nails cut into her skin.

“Eh, Ms, I.” A knock suddenly comes at the door just as Peridot can smell the sickly sweet tinge of orange on Ms. Diamonds breath.

“Peridot are you there? I’ve come to pick you up.” It was Lapis. Peridot squints her eyes in confusion.

“Who is that?”

“A friend!” Ms. Diamond releases her cheeks and gives her a cool look, especially as Peridot’s face heats up when Lapis speaks.

“Hello? Peridot?”

“Come on in!” Ms. Diamond calls, Lapis opens the door in a hurry and Peridot has a feeling she had been peeping through the keyhole.

“Where is Peridot?” She asks roughly, angrily.

“Here. Here. But,” Ms. Diamond pause, “who are you?” Lapis seems taken aback as Ms. Diamond seems to purr at her.

“Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.”

Ms. Diamond chuckles mechanically.

“Is that so? What a sense of humor.”

“It’s true.” Her fists were balled up.

“Well, Ms. Lazuli, me and Ms. Farid were just talking about how she wanted to take someone to the Quartz fundraiser.”

“What-”

“As a plus one.” Ms. Diamond turns back to Peridot, “don’t be so shy Peri,” Peridot’s eyes dart around waiting for a PUNKED sign to spring up after Ms. Diamonds mood swung so drastically.

“Um,”

“I said don’t be shy.” Her eyes are hard and she gestures towards Lapis. She was going to make her do this. "Bringing a nice _girl_ would be good."

“Oh, uh, Lapis,” Peridot expresses through gritted teeth, “do you want to be my plus one?”

Lapis eyes light up, “really? I mean,” she clears her throat, “that might be, but I just came to get Peridot. We were going out.”

“Fine. Fine. Would you come though?”

Lapis blushes slightly, “sure.”

Ms. Diamond smiles like a pleased cat, wide and eyes unfocused, “good.”

Peridot herself didn’t know what to say, what to think. Lapis wanted to go with her to a dinner. Maybe? She shifts from foot to foot uncomfortably, she couldn't say no to this now.

“Good.” Ms. Diamond repeats, “well, I have a dinner. So I’ll be off, I was just here for a.. _chat_.”

Peridot flinches, Ms. Diamond picks up her coat and heads out the door, “and Peridot.”

“Yes?”

“Get to those phone calls.” She turns off the lights, leaving the girls in the dark as she departs.

Peridot exhales a breath she didn’t know she was holding, “I need a smoke.” She murmurs to herself.

“Phone calls?” Lapis looks at her.

“Come on. Maybe you can help me.”

“Okay.” She says slowly.

Peridot explains the phone call process of setting up her boss with a date, Lapis laughs the whole way through, repeating ‘really?’ several times.

“You can leave if you want.” She says drearily.

“No. I want to see this.”

Peridot sighs, “you don’t have to come to the fundraiser either.”

“No, I want to see that too.”

Peridot picks up the phone, “now all you to have to be is quiet.”

Peridot starts the phone call process with ‘hellos’ and ‘Yella Diamond was interested in your recent work/art/bags of you money you hoarded in your fat folds. Respectively.

Lapis joined in once or twice, but Peridot had to wrench the phone away from her when she started off with, “hello! Are you single? Ready to mingle? In the market for a crabby older women with the graces of a crocodile and the human embodiment of a box of viagra threatening you with a hate bo-”

Peridot yanks the phone from her hands in a hurry, “We aren’t doing honestly hour.”

Lapis chirps a laugh, “chill. No one answered and their mailbox was full.”

Peridot wipes her brow in relief.

“Your boss is a jerk. Were you okay?”

“Were you spying?”

Lapis doesn’t reply, just turns to the window and observes the dark rumbling sky outside.

“You shouldn’t let her treat you-”

“I can handle myself,” Peridot goes red in the face and then deflates, “probably.”

Lapis sits down and crosses her legs, “just, be careful.”

Peridot smiles at her, “I will. And Ms. Diamond is...good. Great really.” She pauses and then wags a finger at her, “No prank phone calls though.”

“Not a prank! Lighten you up is all.”

Peridot picks up the phone and pretends to dial a number, “hello? Yes, I have a girl here who thinks she’s funny, yes, blue hair and sense of constipated justice with a side of ‘quirky’-”

“I am not quirky! I am a down to earth respectable insomniac.”

“She’s delusional.”

Lapis grabs at the phone, “and dangerous.”

“And an all around fluffy rabbit.”

“Let’s fight!”

They tussle for the phone, Peridot begins to laugh. They settle down, and Lapis holds her hand for the briefest of seconds, she blushes and Peridot wants to squeeze, never let go, become attached to her through her skin cells and--she jumps up to make tea for them from the community kitchen.

They sip the drink and continue making phone calls, Peridot’s face hurts, but her job feels a little less heavy and little less like the ultimate test of ‘who wants to be a chain smoker by the time they're thirty.’

Lapis hides her cigarettes somewhere, Peridot can't find it in herself to care.


	8. Getting Ready for This

Lapis dove into the pool, hands above her head and body like a sleek arrow shooting into the depths of the water.

She takes a moment to touch the bottom of the rough floor, laying her fingers on the floor of the pool, she curls into herself and pauses. Her senses flatten out for a just a moment, silent, hushed, the world in frozen arches of simpleness. Small and worry-less for once.

But it’s just a moment, the franticness of a restless brain soon returns and she finds herself stretching out her arms like windmills.

One kick, one stroke, one kick, one stroke, she swims like someone on a mission, Lapis was good in water, Lapis was right.

Which she could really use right now as she prepared for something she could only classify as ‘out of her league’ and ‘maybe jumped into too quickly.’

She was easily engaged and then restlessly anxious about it.

Lapis was going to a business dinner, with a friend, with a someone, with real people who had real jobs at ‘the top.’

One kick, one stroke, one kick, tap the wall and turn. She does a countless number of laps until she is satisfied, just barely, and ready to crawl out back onto dry land, refreshed.

She takes a moment to stare at the blank white ceiling, tracing her eyes across the cracks and water stains, then turn over and scramble to her feet, a little breathless but ready to back into the world. At least muscle tone wasn't on a list of her problems. 

She takes a brief shower, reluctantly scrubbing herself of the almost comforting scent of chlorine (Lapis had her attachments to it).

She threaded her hands through her hair and thought about Peridot. Shrill. Small. Clicking hills down the hall and a stony determination to do what she was told.

She was too much.

Lapis turns the shower temperature all the way to the cold when the thoughts get a little too hot and heavy.

“Chillll Lapis.” She whispers to herself at a particularly steamy image passes through her brain. This wasn’t hormone fueled teenage years. It was an outing.

She floats to the changing room and pulls on a hoodie and pair of jeans before slugging on her pack and heading out the door.

She promised she’d meet Peridot the day of the event to talk. She makes it to a ‘quirky’ coffee shop Peridot chose of all places, but she sucks it up and makes her way to ‘Beans ‘n’ Things.’

She gets in line and taps her fingers to the blurred beat on the speakers, singing something off-kilter and probably something ‘no one had heard of yet, god.’

“One large black coffee.” Lapis orders, she was a hardened mountain man who drank anything she could to stay awake.

“On me.” Lapis jumps when a smaller figure appears by her shoulder carrying a red credit card between her fingers.

“N-no, you don’t have to.”

Peridot just shakes her head, “you’re already doing me a huge favor for doing this, it’s on me.”

Lapis accepts with a creaking nod and fluttering inside.

Peridot sat her down at a corner table, far in the back and afforded with a window view and caramel frappuccino fluff drink in front of her.

Lapis snorts at the drink.

“I assume you look down on anyone who doesn’t like their coffee as bitter and filled with as much espresso shots and hate as possible.”

Lapis grins, “the hate keeps me going, as it shows I despise being awake.”

“And you’re own taste buds.” Peridot says with humor in her eyes. 

Lapis laughs, “who is helping who tonight?”

Peridot looks around, “let me go get your drink, be right back.”

Lapis tucks herself into the seat and waits serenely, this felt...cozy.

Peridot sits down, business-like and setting her large drink in front of her.

“So,” Lapis says.

“So.” Peridot repeats.

“Who are we going to seduce and-or assassinate as this super secret function?”

“We are going to act like normal people.” Peridot says slowly, punctuating each word precisely. “And Peridot is going to preserve her shitty job.”

“Boring. But also, consider this: King Soopers, a real job.”

“Yeah.” She quirks a smile, “I’ll keep you posted on that. But first,” she opens her phone, “this is some shareholders we are going to have to talk to.”

“Ooh,” Lapis coos, “businessy.”

They go over people. places and names, Lapis fades in out of paying attention and staring at Peridot’s lips, it was getting embarrassing.

“Do we take out this one,” she points at a short haired angry looking red-head.

“Only if you want to lose fingers.”

“This one,”

“Assassination is still not on the menu. Against the odds, we are not spies.” Peridot sounded resigned and tired, which was saying something from Lapis.

She wants to take Peridot’s head and press a kiss to it, and tell her to unwind the cork in her spine that keeps her upright like a cardboard cut out. She definitely doesn’t do that.

Lapis pauses and bites her lip, “did you imagine this is what we’d do?” She asks softly.

“What?”

“You know. When you’re a kid, with big dreams and everything, could be anything. Not a grocery store clerk and a secretary to the Devil Wears Prada.”

Peridot leans back and looks at the ceiling, “those might be pretty shitty dreams.”

“Yeah.” They both pause like a heartbeat holding them at the gunpoint of something real.

“But self-pity is for chumps.” Peridot declares and Lapis flashes her a grin.

“The real world is very real. And there’s always a chance of that Fight Club.”

Peridot claps her hands together. “Or the end of the world.”

“Any day now sweetie.” She confirms sardonically, Peridot intakes a sharp breath at the word sweetie and Lapis freezes a little.

“Do you want to talk a walk?” She offers.

Lapis nods with a red glow in her gut, “do you need a place to change for tonight?”

She shakes her head, “I’ll change in the office. Miss Diamond needs me.”

“Doesn’t she always?”

“Yeah.” Peridot stands up, “and never in the right way.”

Lapis blinks at that and feels a pout creeping on her lip and tries to push it down. Competition.

“Let’s walk.” They head out as Lapis chugs the last of her drink and enters into the early spring chill. “Did Yella ever find that perfect date then?”

Peridot blinks her brilliant green eyes at her, “no. No one met her standards.”

“All our hard work! I made at least three and half calls to rich older ladies for that women.”

Peridots arms dangle by her sides and she sighs, “that’s how it goes. And I had to agree that it would be better for her to be single and mysterious at this thing.”

“You guys are always seem to be preparing for this big gala.” She bats her eyes, “very glamorous.”

“Trust me. Most of my job is spreadsheets and reading The Economist.”

Lapis elbows her to cheer her up, “real life man. Too real.”

They walk and chat, Peridot wilting under her gaze like an under-watered sunflower with the weight of an oppressive sun on her shoulders.

They make it to the front of Lapis’s apartment again. “This is me.” She chirps.

Peridot barely responds, Lapis wrinkles her brow.

She impulsively bends down and touches their foreheads together.

“Hey,” it’s little word in a sea of sudden contact, “everything will be...cool.”

Peridot snickers, “cool?”

“You’re stressing my friend.”

Peridot breathes softly and looks Lapis in the eye, her eyes are desperate, tragic, Lapis gives her a weak smile.

She pulls away from Peridot.

“See you tonight!” She peeps and turns on her heels.

“Thanks,” Peridot calls after her, “I’ll be here at 7!”

Lapis takes her steps two at a time, she has the sudden urge to jump back into a pool and sink to the bottom, or else take another 2k walk across town to never be heard from again.

She turns her curling iron on instead. She was gonna do this.

She puffs her hair, breaks out her cracking makeup and dusty eye shadow. She barely remembered how to do this, God.

It takes twenty minutes to prep, and then one blue dress that swishes around her legs and encompasses her torso in a firm grip.

She wheezes a little and stares in the mirror. She looked like fish caught in a blue net, a little ethereal, a little...good. Cool.

She primps. Lapis Lazuli primps. Then she was two hours to kill and watches Kill Bill in two inch heels and an almost-prom dress.

It felt like prom, except without a toad-shaped boy Lapis thought she might like, or should like, and fretted over why she didn’t like.

She’s standing by the door playing with her rings on her fingers when the call comes.

She takes a deep breath and leaves the room in a hurry while trying not to topple over. Here she goes.

Peridot picks her up in the classy black velvet company car and looks particularly spiffy.

Lapis can barely find her tongue to comment on the pressed white outfit with little professional tie and wrinkle-less pencil skirt. Not quite prom, but oh gee, Lapis needed a buddy system to get through this.

Peridot clears her throat when Lapis dwaddles outside the car, trying to keep her head about her.

“Um, yeah.” She climbs in, “you look spiffy.”

“Spiffy.”

“Good. You look good.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” It’s a crooked statement like a picture frame off center and threatening to topple. She looks straight ahead and not directly at her.

She retreats into joking, “Well, I expected a corsage, but I’m sure this car will make up for it.” She rubs the leather seats.

Peridot flores the car, “what’s this?”

“I’ve been thinking this was like some prom thing all evening.”

“Sure. All the stress and at the end of the night the Queen is whoever impresses the most amount of rich people. I hope you remembered to dab caviar behind one ear.”

“No. I was hoping tuna fish would do.”

“You joke, but I’d be afraid. They can smell middle to lower class on people.” 

“Gosh, and me without my 2 and half kids and reasonable mortgage.”

Peridot actually laughs a little, “it’s fine. Just mention our salaries and we can spend the night in blissful solitude.”

“Yeah...and after,” Lapis had been thinking about this for awhile, “maybe...afterwards...we could go get something to eat?” She offers sheepishly.

Peridot blinks at her in confusion.

“There’s just this little diner that I keep getting pestered to bring people to.” She thinks about Sadie and says it all in one brush.

Peridot actually gives her a slow half smile, “sure.”

“Sure.” Lapis repeats, smiling. So her instincts told her to do this, so what.

They start to slow down at a large building with soft lights and well dressed people crowding an entrance appears, Lapis fidgets from one side to another. The full scale of scene makes her swallow, hard.

Peridot gets out and opens the door for her, Lapis scowls at that, but then Peridot grabs her hand.

“Thanks for doing this.” She says begrudgingly.

“No problem.” Her hand goes fuzzy with sweat, Peridot leads her through the crowd.

They walk into the fray.

\-----------

Lapis soon realizes she is can of cool whip in a cabinet of top-brand mayonnaise, as well as on display like an LGBTQ prize-winning hound.

Her feet started to hurt.

That’s when Miss Diamond, the Miss Diamond approaches her.

She looks at her darkly and holds up a glass, “let the party begun girls.”

“Yeah,” she takes up the glass of champagne, “to that.”

Peridot only glances at her and forces her hand into hers, Lapis frowns and accepts it. It might be a long party.


	9. That Could Have Gone Better

Peridot crawls down the aisles of a grocery store, teetering forward on her tired feet. She hovers by the chips and her head fills with dull ache.

She edges past one aisle after the next until she decides to stand still and hope they cross paths.

She waits, her pulse in her throat, she spots her wheeling a cart forward, blue hair flashing against tanned skin and a weary face. Lapis.

She had to do it. She had to go up to her. She wills her feet her move but her brain only hears a constant drum of self doubt, of curses and groans. She had messed up.

Lapis sighs at a tower of bread and looks more threadbare than ever. Eyes unfocused and shoulders drooping.

She watches her, her hands moving mechanically and head bobbing, the creaking movement of her body as she bends down and long trim arms. She watches her and it is almost enough.

She wills herself to move, but the lump in her throat was choking her up and she retreats. She messed up.

**12 Hours Earlier**

“Ruby Walker,” Peridot stood on her tiptoes and whispered into Ms. Diamond’s ear, “a police officer. Her wife is Sapphire Williams who owns shares in the company. Their daughter just made valedictorian.”

Ms. Diamond claps her hands together and greets Ruby.

“Officer Walker! So good to see you,” she clasps the woman's hands between her own, “give my congratulations to your daughter for making valedictorian I hear.”

The dark-skinned woman looked apprehensive at first but then lit up at the mention of her daughter.

“Yeah, Garnet beat out a lot of tough competition, she's taking a year off and then...” She puffs out her chest and Ms. Diamond nods along in an impressively sincere manner. Peridot was routinely impressed by her boss.

They chit-chat and Peridot tuned them out and looked around for Lapis. Foregoing your date to help your boss mingle may not be proper etiquette, but what could she do?

She spots Lapis talking to a tall gaunt woman, someone important and Peridot prays it’s something that made them look good. That’s why they were there after all.

“...I think you and your wife will be very impressed with our quarterly results.” And not jump ship to Rose Quartz Ms. Diamond notably says.

“Yeah,” Ruby replies with obvious reservations. “Saphy does most of the business end of stuff, so I'm not too involved with that.” She rubs the back of her neck.

Ms. Diamond tugged on her ear, _the signal to get her out of there_. Peridot digs through her bosses purse and picks out her phone.

She taps Ms. Diamond on the shoulder, “sorry for interrupting miss, but some shareholders in China would like to talk.”

Ms. Diamond plasters on a winning smile, “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, yeah,” Ruby nods, “go ahead.”

Ms. Diamond picks up the phone and pretends to speak in Chinese, that should impress anyone within ten feet of them, Peridot would snicker of the absurdity of it but she knew she didn’t have the gall to do half of what Yella Diamond did. Like taking a fake phone call to get out of a no-where conversation.

She finishes the talk and turns to Peridot with a satisfied quirk of her lips.

“Good. Hopefully that simpleton tells her wife to stay on board.” She remarks, Peridot nods in compliance.

“Good job, ma'am.”

“Now,” Ms. Diamond stood up straighter and looks around, “I am going to go talk to our host.” She narrows her eyes in the direction of Rose Quartz, “you can stay here, I know enough about that plastic woman. And you can go watch your date.”

“She-”

“I don’t have to regret my choices hopefully.” Yella Diamond says pointedly, “she’s talking to my sister. Make sure you accomplish what we came here to do.”

“Uh,”

"That we are just as _tolerant_ as Rose Quartz.” She pulled up her dress and put on a steely look, “pay close attention Ms. Farid, I am about to flatter these freaks into the next fundraiser.”

“Right.” Tolerance.

Ms. Diamond stalked off and Peridot exhales, she made it through half the night. It is a short lived relief, she soon spots Lapis talking animatedly to move on to mayor of the district.

Peridot hurried over, going through her facts about the man. He was a clown for one.

“-and then this woman, the same one as before, crashes her basket into the display and it falls everywhere.”

Mayor Dewey and the gathered crowd laugh at the scenario, and Peridot even smiles, her date was doing well, Ms. Diamond wasn’t yelling at her, she hadn't dragged her pants suit in anything.

Peridot grabs two more champagnes off a waiter and approaches.

“Thirsty?” She comes up from behind her, Lapis jumps and then turns to her with a smile.

“There you are.” She hands her the glass, “I was hoping the stiffness in her backbone would ease up.”

Peridot eyes her warily, maybe Lapis had too much to drink.

“Haha,” she tries to laugh.

“Peri over here,” Lapis juts her thumb at her and the crowd turn their heads to her, “is practically run ragged by that boss of hers.” She hiccups. Peridot dies.

“Well, I wouldn’t say run ragged.” She shifts uncomfortably.

“Total back breaker!”

“AHEM.” Peridot clears her throat as loudly as she can, now sweating through her jacket as the crowd whispers amongst itself. “The job can be _hard wor_ k. But I don’t mind, Yella can be very fair.”

"That's not what I hear." Someone says.

“Pfft,” Lapis arches her eyebrows at her. Mayor Dewey seems to pick up on how uncomfortable Peridot is.

“So how did you two meet?”

Peridot tries to think fast about the most romantic place she could think of, “elevator.” _Ugh_.

“Elevator?” Lapis furrows her brow in confusion.

“Yeah, the darn thing stalled and we ended up talking, and really just clicking.” That was romantic right? If improbable.

“More like fought like hamsters in a death match.” Lapis says under her breath.

“Ah, how sweet.” Remarks a thickly accented woman cooing at them.

“Yes. And we went on dates.”

‘ _Dates?_ ’ Lapis mouths at her.

“It’s good to see two young women so open in your relations.” 

“Well, it’s really not that hard.” Lapis says dismissively.

“But!” Peridot twitches, “LGBTQ youth need all the help they can get, and this fundraiser we are contributing to is a great example of what we can do for them.” She sounded like a robot with a script and indoctrination into robot-schmoozing classes.

The crowd murmurs to itself in self-satisfied agreement.

“I’ll toast to that.” The accented woman's husband raised his glass, “to us.”

They toast and take a sip of their drinks, Lapis rolls her eyes and Peridot can’t blame her. _Rich people_.

Before Peridot has to show off Lapis and their gay relationship like a show boat of presentation, Rose Quartz takes the stage.

“Thank you all for attending our fundraiser!” She announces, the room hushes and is drawn in. She had that effect on groups of people. “We will have official speeches and of course the entertainment, but I am sure we are all anxious to eat something first.” People chuckle politely.

With a few parting words Peridot hunts down her seating placement in the hall.

“Here, here,” she pulls Lapis with her.

She tucks herself and feels a determination to power through, Lapis eyes her table setting.

“Guest.” She says to her name plate.

Peridot smiles at her, “the food will make this all worth it.” She assures.

Lapis nods absently, the bubbly and ironic words seemed to be lost. That didn’t seem good.

“You could say...it’s the coup de croissant, eh?” Lapis doesn’t look up, uh oh.

“After this, we should...talk.”

Uh oh. She wilts in her seat. “Oh yeah. Sure.”

They couldn’t awkwardly keep wondering what the other person was thinking as other guests sat down at the round table for the meal.

Yella Diamond was at the front of the room with Rose Quartz and the top donors, Peridot kept on eye on her and any signals she needed anything. This was the day to prove herself too.

“So, your hair is very vibrant. Very blue.” Oh no. These snots were questioning Lapis on her hair.

“I like to rebel against _the man_.” Lapis says while punching her palm and Peridot almost hits her face with her palm.

"Oh?"

"The machine is always wrong man." She was messing with them.

Peridot didn’t have to intervene luckily as waiters descend with their food, pheasant stuffed with assorted nuts.

Peridot is relieved, but Lapis continues to seem off put.

“Do you like working for Ms. Diamond?” Someone addresses Peridot.

“Of course!” Peridot responded promptly, “she’s very impressive woman.”

“Of course.” Lapis mocks under her breath.

“She really does support these events, it’s so sweet, with her assistant and everything.”

“Yes!” That’s her, the gay assistant, so sweet.

The crowd is distracted by the entertainment of a comedian on stage and they get to eat food 100% above her pay grade without having to chit chat. Lapis even started smiling at it.

She even starts to impersonate the woman besides her, copying her swooping hand gestures and pursed lips, Peridot snickers discretely.

Rose Quartz took the stage as dessert came out. Ms. Diamond turns towards Peridot and Lapis, she gestures for Peridot to take her hand.

Peridot thrusts her hand out and makes a point of taking Lapis’s hand, Lapis gives her a blank 'are you serious?' look.

“Really?” She asks as her and sweats into hers.

“Dessert is going to be really good.”

“I’ll just stuff my face directly into it since my fork hand is occupied.”

Peridot gave her thumbs up in support.

“Wait, _will_ you dare me to stuff my face in the desert? I'm sure everyone will get a kick out of it.” She asks wryly.

“No,” she hisses.

“Too late.” They are busy arguing when Rose Quartz started her speech.

“Today. Seven out of ten. Seven out of teens who are queer or trans experience bullying….” Rose Quartz on to give a very convincing speech that made Peridot very depressed.

Like she should actually take her jar full of change and give it something good instead of buying more gum and snack packs. Then she remembers that this was all for show, Rose Quartz couldn’t be this genuine, could she?

Peridot claps politely after the speech letting go of Lazuli’s hand and Rose Quartz thanks all the donors on a long list.

Everyone stands up and congratulates themselves in a standing applause.

Ms. Diamond abruptly gives her a hard look and makes a motion to lean in, Peridot blinks at her what?

‘Kiss her’ she mouths.

‘what?’ Peridot fauns confusion and mouths back, she couldn’t really want her to…

‘Kiss her’ she motions again angrily. ‘Everyone is watching.’

Peridot wants to refuse, this was too soon and in all the wrong ways, all the wrong timing and people.

But Ms. Diamond is hers, her boss, her time suck, this is what she did, who she was. Yella Diamond's assistant.

She grabs onto Lapis’s shoulder and bends her forward while pushing herself up to meet her lips.

Lapis gasps into her mouth at the sudden pressure.

Soft lips and a slight smell of chlorine filled her senses, it was all crooked and askew but her senses felt like fire and a deep, deep excitement, Lapis, it was all Lapis.

It was a brief and biting kiss, Lapis almost gnawing on Peridot’s bottom lip as they part, the group around them cheers them on and soon the room is fixated on them and the sudden noise.

“Hehe,” she laughs to herself as they cheer, they were on display and every nerve in Peridot’s body was tensed. Ms. Diamond gives her an approving nod.

But Lapis was fuming, glaring at her and her breath was choking in her throat.

“Well that is one way to celebrate the cause.” Rose Quartz says from the stage and they cheer again, Peridot nods at her, Ms. Quartz starts in on her final words. Lapis grabs onto her shoulder.

“Come with me.” She drags her across the room and into a hallway with a curtain hiding it. They were alone.

“ _What the hell man?_ ” She balls her fists up, Peridot gulps.

“It was for a good cause.” She says quickly, Lapis just fumes. "I can make it up to you?"

“This is a joke! I’m not some gay float to be paraded around for these weird wolf of wallstreeters.”

“It’s not like that.”

“You just randomly kissed a girl for your boss. I think that’s a problem.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Lapis crosses her arms, “you’re right.”

“It’s a high stakes job and...I’ll make it up to you.” She repeats and Peridot could play the game too, it was only reasonable.

“You’re a mess.”

“ _I'm_ a mess?” She comments under her breath.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lapis leans forward into her face, eyes like piercing daggers.

“This night is all fluff, Lapis, it doesn’t mean anything.” She tries to diffuse the situation.

“Maybe, not to you it doesn’t!” Lapis turns her back on her and tries to stomp off.

“Wait! Lapis...” She reaches in her direction, Lapis pauses and says her last words.”

“Forgot that. This would never work. You’re a tool, someones grumpy little tool.”

Peridot’s face heats up, “at least I have a job I care about instead of just a bunch of movies and free time, Sleepless in Seattle.”

“Yeah, you care, but that witch out there doesn’t care about you worth a damn.”

“Maybe, you should leave.” She says through her teeth.

“Whatever. You were a terrible kisser anyway.”

“Uh,” Peridot grunts in insult, “and you smell like an entire Olympic pool.” Not that she enjoyed that or anything.

“Fish lips.”

“Fight me. And I’m a great kisser.”

“You’d like that, you and your boss could call it love and sell it to the media like some goddamn lying spin doctors, is anything you say ever true?”

“Sometimes.” She murmurs introspectively.

“Ever since the pasta thing I should have known…” Her voice sounds thick with some sort of emotion.

“I never said this would be fun.”

“Obviously.”

They fall into a steely silence, an air of cold apprehension descending.

“I’m going home.” She turns on her.

“Wait, Lapis.” She repeats, “this was just one night…” She laughs awkwardly to cover up any desperation. 

“Go french kiss your snake of a boss.” She flips her off.

“Come on, we’ve a good setup going.”

“What set up?” She spits.

“Friends..?” She offers in a small voice.

“Is that what we are.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. “Because I sure thought I was your show dog date a little while ago.”

“We had some good times.”

“Friends,” she snorts and turns her back on her. “See you Peri.”

"You're being over dramatic." She sneers, now getting heated in her words, but her back is already turned.

Lapis leaves her, Peridot stands numbly in the wake of a heartache. This could have gone better.

“Peridot,” someone calls her to, her legs are suddenly moving, floating on without her awareness.

Ms. Diamond was searching for her, “where have you been?”

“Lapis…”

“Yes. Good performance.” She nods curtly, “now, who is the gentlemen in the yellow? He keeps trying to talk to me.”

“Mr. Willis. Small time shareholder, just got a new dog.”

Ms. Diamond says something else, Peridot doesn’t hear it, she closes her eyes and the kiss comes back to her in full force, and then the night she spent at her house, and the night Lapis was followed by a creep and they shared a bed. She frowns.

She opens her eyes, she'd have to get through this night, and then maybe...do something.


	10. Breakdown

“She’s just her dog, ya’ know?” Lapis raps her knuckles on the wooden table in annoyance, “just her trained schnauzer that blindly begs for attention from her.” Lapis sneers at herself in disgust, “how could have ever had a crush on _that_?”

“So it really was a full blown crush, huh?”

Lapis snorts, “get me another shot.”

Sadie follows her orders reluctantly and passes her a small glass. Lapis liked alcohol in a sense. In the sense she liked it not for the taste or the slight buzz or definitely not for the headache the next day but dammit if being knocked out wasn’t nice.

Because like everything in her life, it revolved around lack of and need of sleep.

She would like to drown that thought, and every one after that, and perhaps the last two nights in a row including the ones where Peridot ruined her evening and then stalked her.

“So anyway,” Lapis absently slurred, “she’s the worst.”

“So you’ve said.” Sadie cleans an empty pint.

"It's true!"

“Pfft, what a bunch of bullshit.” A lanky guy interrupts them.

“Excuse me?” Lapis turns on him quickly, she had almost forgot about Sadie’s obnoxious coworker at her second job.

“Chicks are crazy man.” Lapis scowls at him, “but if you complain about them for hours on end it shows you obviously cared too much in the first place.”

Lapis was going to hit him. “Lars, maybe you shouldn’t.” Sadie says gently as Lapis goes red in the face.

“You want to see how much I care?” She raises a fist.

He rolls his eyes, “whatever.”

Sadie diffuses the tension with a few stern words and Lapis swigs down the whiskey, it burns in her throat and makes her eyes water but gives the promise of head weighed down like a sinking ship to unconsciousness. That was good.

“You know what?” Lapis’s eyes light up and she feels a thrill of electricity in her veins, “I’m gonna call her.” She takes out her phone.

“No, no, Lapis you don’t want to do that.” Sadie reaches out for her phone, but Lapis leans backwards to avoid her.

“Yeah, you might actually regret that.” Lars chimes in smugly.

“No way! It’s time she hears about how much she sucks and how over her I am.” Her words jumble in her mouth like a game of scrabble gone awry.

Sadie strains for the mobile, “did she even know you liked her?"

Lapis pauses, her brain cells catching up to her one at a time, “maybe." She hits her speed dial, "It's not like that changes anything.”

She jumps off the stool, puts the phone up to her ear and listens to it ring.

“Hello?” A groggy voice says from the other end.

“Guess who's a huge bag of period cramps??” Lapis practically yelled into the speaker.

“Jesus Christ!”

“You, you, it’s you, you’re just a _follower_ , who can't think for herself and a total manipulater,” Lapis started to sound morose in all the wrong ways by the end.

“Lapis, why the fuck are you calling me at 2 in the morning? It’s been three months.” Lapis freezes. That wasn’t Peridot.

“Uh, wow, wrong number.” She goes to hang up.

“Fuck, you’re drunk.”

"I'm fine." The words wobbled out her mouth like a slinky descending stairs.

"This means I have to come get you doesn't it?"

"No!"

"I'm on my wa-"

Lapis hangs up quickly, her entire face was red and heartbeat breaking down into rapid thuds. This was bad, bad, bad. She glances at the caller ID just to check that had really happened.

Jasper. Of course it had to be Jasper.

“What happened?” Sadie asks as half the bar glances at her.

Lapis places her head on the table and groans.

“Something stupid.” She murmurs into the wood.

“I’m sure it can’t be that bad.” She tries to comfort her.

“I just called my ex to complain about my crush.” She pauses and bites her lip, “Ex-crush.”

Lapis buries her head in her hands and listens to Lars laugh at her like a hyena on speed. She probably deserved it.

“Oh my god,” he holds his sides and wipes his eyes, “I can’t believe you. Oh my God.”

Lapis wobbles to her feet, “I have to get out of here.” She flopped down in her seat again after the room tilts to the left.

“Maybe you should wait.” Sadie offers with concern.

“ _It’s my ex._ ”

“This is some TV drama shit right here.” Lars comments and Lapis feels like falling into a pit, a very deep dark pit. It didn’t help Jasper and Peridot were the only numbers on speed dial on her phone. That spoke volumes.

“Was this the body builder?”

“Personal trainer, yes." She grumbles and then adds, "We hate each other.”

“Naturally.”

“I should go.”

But Lapis doesn’t move however and instead downs one final shot, go big or go home.

“Lapis!” That sounded familiar.

She puts on an ironic grin and turns around in her chair dramatically, “Howdy.”

“Christ, you’re a mess.”

Lapis leans on her chin, “would you have it any other way?”

“Yes.” Jasper says gruffly, “I would change every last goddamn thing about you.”

“Nice to see you too honey.” Lapis coos and she she knows she shouldn’t flirt, but she wasn’t exactly in a great place.

“Let’s get you home." She pauses, "Is the trash can on 22nd street still boarding your ass? Or did they kick out for the stench finally.”

“So clever.” Lapis scoffs sarcastically, “and no. They evicted me for fraternizing previously with unsavory characters.” She eyes the hulking woman, she was still large and with hair too long and a face set in the rigid melodrama of single-mindedness.

“Unsavory? I’m all savory babe.” She flexes her arms and Lapis definitely hates her.

“Gross.” Lars sticks his tongue out at them, “will you two leave already? You’re “witty” banter is making me lose brain cells.” Lapis thinks she might also hate Lars. And a lot of people right now.

Lapis sashays to her feet and manages to steady herself on a metal beam, “I’ll close the tab now.” She flashes them her credit card in one fluid motion.

One business transaction later she reflects on the fact she really couldn’t afford tonight, shots were expensive. Rent, and food and stress clouds her thoughts before Sadie enters her line of vision. 

She hands Lapis her coat and gives her a soft look, “you take care of yourself you hear? There are plenty of nice girls out there.” She whispers the last part.

“Too bad so many of them are straight.” Lapis winks at Sadie, and she knows she shouldn’t flirt, but she wasn’t in a very great place right now. Again.

Sadie is blushing and Lars targets Lapis with a missile guided death stare, Jasper drags her out of the establishment before he learns to bite.

“I can’t believe I fucking hear from Lapis Lazuli on a Thursday night at 2 am out of nowhere.” They trudge down the dim streets.

“It was a mistake.”

“Sure.”

“I was trying to contact Satan and they redirected it to you.”

"Ha." She deadpans.

A chilly silence overcomes the two girls, history like cracked floor tiles spreads before their feet, sniffing like toxicity and waste. Waste of time, waste of patience, waste, waste, waste.

“As pleasant as ever Laz,” she murmurs under her breath.

“Yeah, well, I assume nothing much has changed with you?” She talks as her head prompts her to fill the silence.

“You’d love that.” Jasper doesn’t even look at her while they walk, “but unfortunately for you I don’t feel like playing ‘talk about myself so you can mock me.’ Fuck you.”

“Fine. I’ll fill in the blanks." She clears her throat, "I trapped some other poor girl in a poisonous relationship and remained being a stupid a meat head all the while.”

She chuckled, “that kind was only for you babe.”

“Ugh. If you have to know I was calling another girl.”

A small neglected silence trails between them, “she cute?”

“Maybe. Sort of. She’s tiny, which I appreciate.”

“Yeah right.”

“Really! I don’t get smothered at night like a bug under an elephant.”

Jasper slows down and eyes her, “so you two have,” she makes an obscene gesture with her fingers.

Lapis kicks her, “no! It was barely anything, but then it really was,” she struggles for words, “something.”

Jasper looks up at the blank grey sky and huffs little clouds of white into the air, “want me to beat her up for you?”

Lapis smiles creakily, “will you?”

“Sure. For old times sake.”

Lapis rolls her eyes, “I was gonna really let her have it on the phone too.”

“Do it. Call her then. Or better yet, go to her fucking house, egg it or whatever.”

Lapis tilted her head and the world swirls before her ever so slightly, she needed to sleep.

“Hell, I’ll take you, never miss a chance to mess with people other people hate. She's bad news right?”

“The worst. She has this boss, and this boss complex, and this terrible high pitched voice and is super childish and demanding and laughs like a cat mixed with a chainsaw…” Lapis trails off and her eyes feal misty.

“Sounds like your type.” Jasper responds heavily.

Lapis clenches her teeth, “You don’t know a thing Jasper. You never did.” Her voice was soft and wistful. 

“Get to sleep Laz.”

Lapis stops walking and stares at her feet as the drink scrambles her brain waves, “I really liked her.”

Jasper frowns, “There is no point in telling me that.”

“We couldn’t date sure, cause I’m...I wouldn’t be good for her.”

“Granted.”

“But,” Lapis smiles weakly, “it was nice to think we could. It was a nice thought." _Don't cry, don't cry._

Jasper heaves a sigh, “don’t call her tonight Laz. But,” She grabs Lapis’s shoulders and guides her up some stairs, “but it sounds like you should call her sometime. Idiot.”

Lapis lets herself be led to her apartment where Jasper unceremoniously drops her in bed.

"You're place is a pig sty." She remarks dryly.

"So is your face." She flops down on her back.

"Good night Lazuli."

"I hope we never meet again."

"Same. I'll text you tomorrow." She shuts the door after her. Lapis thoughts are drowning in fuzziness, but that was so much better than anything else. She drops off into a nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jasper and Lapis have a complicated relationship.


	11. Games that Girls Play

Peridot sat on her couch, slouching so that her chin bunched up around her neck and gave her body an absolute S shape. This was the first time she had a Saturday off in weeks. Naturally, she was bored.

She patiently (see: impatiently) threw a ping-pong ball against the wall and caught it again in a slow erratic motion, her hand-eye coordination was poor, but her lack of things to do was very high.

It was half passed 7 when the doorbell finally chimes and she jumps to her feet and scurries to the door.

“You’re late.” She says flatly through the door before opening it.

“Chill out, P.” A stout girl stood before her, Amethyst, who happened to play Call of Duty and happened to text her memes continually (which she volleyed back) and happened free tonight.

It was time Peridot branched out she figured.

“I even brought ~snack food~.” She sang and pulled out a cart of oreos from her bag triumphantly.

Peridot accepted that with a curt nod, “that will be...acceptable.”

She guides her into her fair-sized apartment, Amethyst looks around curiously, “jeez, this place is as stiff as you are.”

“Please don’t touch anything.” Peridot brushes Amethysts fingers away from an art piece her mom had picked up for her.

“Lighten up.”

“I am nothing _but_ light.” Peridot defends, she was a beam of fricken' sunshine.

“Pfft, right, right, lemme go get my sunglasses.”

Peridot set them up in front of her TV screen, “whatever I might be,” she begins, “is regardless of the fact I am going to kick your ass at Call of Duty. You have no idea what you are walking into.”

Amethyst nodded like she heard it all before, “don’t be too sure of yourself, I’m scrappy.” She punched the air and Peridot turned on her practically ancient, well-loved, x-box.

Amethyst named her character the Purple Puma, who she described, ‘had both sex-appeal and cat-like reflexes.'

Peridot’s character’s name was Percy for reasons she didn’t want to get into, 'it’s just a cool name okay!'

Amethyst snorted and they were thrown into the action, “honestly, can’t say I’m surprised you play Call of Duty.”

Peridot eyes her, “how so?”

“Need a release for all that pent up anger in your tiny body.”

Peridot kicked her, “you’re one to talk, what are you, 5’3?”

“It’s all compressed cool girl, 5’2 of pure fun.”

They bicker at little until Peridot is immersed in the game and intermittent bouts of yelling, ‘die, die, die!’ at the screen. She may or may not have that pent up rage Amethyst was talking about.

Overall, they were a pretty good team, and even turned on the headphones to listen to twelve year olds yell at them.

“You dicks!” A high-pitched voice barks through the monitor, “my hp wasn’t even done recovering.”

Amethyst cackles, “sucks to be you!” She erratically peppers the people on screen with bullet fire.

Peridot nods, “not bad. Not bad.” She murmurs to herself.

“What? You thought I would suck?”

“It was a high possibility.” Peridot gives her a wry grin.

“Ugh, I get no recognition around her.” She huffs indignantly, something hovers behind her words but Peridot ignores it.

“So,” she glances at Amethyst, the words burning behind her tongue like hot rocks, “how is...work?” She’s almost there.

“Um, lame as ever.” Amethyst articulates. “Hby?” Amethyst says the acronym out loud and Peridot is forced to roll her eyes.

“Suffice to say, always terrible.”

“Home girl, you need a vacation.” They were oddly weighted words coming out of her mouth. “Between you and Lapis someone is gonna have a full on breakdown and someone's gonna have to pick up the pieces.”

Peridot chokes on her own spit at the mention of Lapis, there it was, the update she was waiting on.

“So, um, Lapis?” She nervously chuckles. Her controller violently vibrates in her hand as her character on screen is shot in the head. She keeps looking at the purple-haired girl.

“Oh God, you two really did do the splitz thing.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“What happened at your ball?” Amethyst asks quickly, “Lapis won’t even breath a word of it, just ‘it was terrible’ and ‘Peridot is terrible,’ and ‘I have a hangover, blargakjkf.’” Amethyst mimics Lapis’s voice up until a puking gesture and Peridot’s heart thumps in her chest. _Peridot was terrible_ …

“Good to hear.” She says dryly as she turns back to sniping the enemy from a rooftop.

“Lmao, no way, you guys are both a mess, I can’t even believe it.”

“I am a well-established working woman.” Peridot retorts sharply.

“Dude. You’ve been texting me all these memes for days now, why do you think I came over?”

“Sad memes? What the hell is a sad-” Her character is shot from behind again, she curses and reverses herself in the game as she button-mashes the controller.

“Whatever, I’m just saying is someone should tell me ‘bout that ball ‘cause I’m going to assume the worst otherwise. Actually, I already am, one of you is pregnant and I’m the father.”

Peridot concentrates on double jumping, “Lapis overreacted, that’s what. And I think Rose Quartz is into me.”

“What?” Amethyst does a combo move and Peridot gets more annoyed.

“She talked to me after Lapis left. About my job and Comp Sci degree--with honors.” Peridot puffs out her chest, the memory of the classy women hanging in her memory like a grand portrait on the wall. Ms. Diamond had immediately come around to shoo Peridot away from Rose Quartz but it was still a noteworthy moment for her.

“Okay, but I don’t care, tell me about Lap-lap.”

“Nothing to tell.” She says through clenched teeth.

“Ugh, well, she’s not doing so hot on our end.” That gets Peridots attention, “not that you’re doing so hot either.”

Peridot blinks up at her, “what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, sad-eyes, falling asleep while standing, really impressive stuff, she might be back with her ex who keeps hanging around now.”

Peridot clenches the controller so hard she’s afraid she might break it. “Hmm.” Is all she gurgles out. “Sounds pathetic.” She finally laments as she tries to get sucked into the game as much as possible. Some guy on the other end of the world calls her a ‘degenerate hozer’ for taking him out.

Amethyst kicks her, “‘m serious. Lapis is a cool girl, cut her some slack for doing whatever it was.”

“It wasn’t her, it was,” she bites her tongue, _me_. A solid hunk of guilt settles in her gut, _me_ , _me_ , _me_. “A misunderstanding.” She finishes anyway.

“Whatev. Hey, was Rose Quartz’s assistant there?”

Peridot blinks at her, “uh, yes? Does it matter?”

“She’s a family friend.”

Peridot eyes her, “I didn’t know you knew people.”

“It’s a small world. Tell her her underwear still probably smells like jam. She’ll know what that means.”

“Work is hell enough as it is without commenting on the competitions lingerie.”

“Tell me about, today, this old lady, a real cash-register watcher they would have burned as a witch back in the day takes out her purse…” Amethyst flew into a story about the grocery store antagonism and Peridot ends up nodding along, though her brain is filled with other matters painted in a deep blue. She dies again on screen.

They order take-out and Peridot feels a small ease bubble up in her chest, that is, until it’s her turn to complain about her job.

“...and just yesterday she told me I would make a better foot stool than a person. And it was in front of people, even Jenny said that was ridiculous.”

“Whose Jenny?” Amethyst asks over a mouth full of pizza, she sure could put it away.

“A girl. She’s a temp, her boyfriend lives at Lapis’s place.” She says absently and then shirks away, “look at these clods!” She yells at the TV, “do that have flippers for hands??”

“So, Ms. D, still Devil Wears Prada-ing you?”

“All the time,” Peridot feels weary, “I’m starting to worry I am going to get an ulcer, right after she uses my funeral as an excuse to gain sympathy from board members and outbid Dinotech…” She goes into a usual rant and a mounting anxiety spreads in her fingertips.

Amethyst glances at her, something just below the surface of her dark eyes, “Dude. Vacation, nine days off, do it.”

Peridot arches her eyebrows, “and do what? Besides not get paid.”

“Don’t tell you aren’t making mucho dollars all saved up.”

Peridot just shrugs. “I can’t backpack across Europe if that’s what you mean, I don’t even like Europe,” she mutters to herself, “Canada maybe, but traffic and bikes…”

“Nah, liiiiike,” she draws out the words slowly, “a road trip.”

“A road trip.” Peridot repeats abjectly.

“Yeah, P, total cruise of the coast line.”

“I’ll just pencil that in between Ms. Diamonds PR appointment and,” she presses the joystick twice and then the snipe button, “kicking your ass! _Nehehe_ ,” She cackles as Amethyst's character finally is taken out.

Amethyst just shakes her head, “don’t think it’s over!”

They play into the night, Peridot finally unwinding her popping joints and brain that felt sun-burned from a long week and certain girl who gave her fire-fly’s in her gut. Of course, that was _over_.

Amethyst mentioned Lapis sparingly but pushed on the whole ‘what happened’ thing until Peridot almost kicks her out.

They manage to play a couple more games (Peridot had an old dance dance revolution game tucked away. Amethyst loved it.)

She has to leave at one though, she actually had family waiting up for her.

“You should move out.” Peridot comments factually as Amethyst gathers her stuff. “It’s much more economical.”

“Dude, I’m 19. I think I have time.” She shirks her bag on. 19. Right. So young.

“God, you’re a baby.”

“Baby that got a head shot on you.” She ruffled her hair and Peridot growled at her.

“There’s the door.”

Amethyst nods, “think ‘bout the road trip P! It could be sick.”

“Right, right,” Peridot walks her out of the complex and she feels a little more light, like she was moving on and not coming undone at every seam.

Of course, Ms. Diamond calls her at 4 in the morning and reverses all that. Peridot sighs heavily and gets to work, she had spread sheets and coffee stains to get to after all.

She almost finds herself texting a very specific someone about it, she was always up after all, and catches herself. She sends Amethyst another meme about suffering (loss jpg), maybe that was a sad meme.

 

A road trip. Huh.


	12. Eggs.

Two weeks down the road it occurred to her maybe she would never see her again. Maybe they would exist as two ships passing in the night, the city was full of bodies missing each second by second, inch by inch. And there was no reason for them to meet again.

 

But then again. Peridot shopped and Lapis worked, and those two things happened to intersect.

 

Lapis was at the third register down, just her, the glow of her screen and the yellow honeyed light above her head that announced that she was open. Well, her, that, and the the inescapable exhaustion that pulled on her shoulder tops.

Her eyes drooped, the store was still, but in the way slow motion movies are still and forests are quiet in winter.

It was her third day, third day of around two hours of sleep and it was no longer fun. Sure, the first day felt like invincibility: you hadn’t slept in 24 hours so what _couldn't_ you do? Jokes were funnier, lights were brighter, time passed like a jumbled jigsaw puzzle tossed down the stairs: all weird angles, fast and out of order.

 

The second day was of course the fall, fall from grace like she was Lucifer being punished for her hubris. The weariness was like an iron skillet pressed on her skull contrasted by a battalion of bees that kept her eyes open. Lapis had no idea how it was possible to be so tired and not be able to sleep.

 

She went to the back and caught three hours of shut eye nine hours ago. She woke up to the misery of an even more blurry world thick with an abstract heaviness.

 

Then there was the third day, the third was worse in a different way. Loss, emptiness, her hands were slow and her mind a blank slate of churning paste. When she spoke she couldn’t place what words she needed and when she walked it felt like the world might tip at any moment and she would fall.

The third day was not fun.

 

Lapis was contemplating the insides of her own eyelids when the sliding doors opened to let in a rapid breeze, blowing in her face and ruffling up her hair.

She blinked open her eyes to find a string of customers coming in at 11:20 to their local King Sooper, great.

She wouldn’t have paid much attention, unless, of course, she hadn't showed up.

Lapis’s eyes land on her like search lights drawn to a get-away car, the bespectacled, tiny, tanned, bleach-blonde assistant herself.

Lapis narrows her eyes and hunchs her shoulders over, caught between yelling ‘you aren’t wanted here!’ in a funny voice and just waiting for Peridot to huddle off somewhere else.

She watches her mutely. She wasn’t in work clothes interestingly enough, no styled hair or tall heels or curving button-down jackets. No. It was something frankly bizarre: one oversized grey hoodie, sneakers without socks and long bare legs. As in Lapis had no idea if she was wearing pants. Why wasn’t she wearing pants?

Peridot doesn’t notice her, eyes trained straight ahead and hands stuffed in pockets as she just carries herself like heavy rain cloud to the cookies-candy-snack bars-chips-and-some salsa aisle.

Peridot’s lean even-toned legs disappear behind a display and Lapis slumps down. This sounded neither good nor doctor recommended.

The only upside was feeling slightly less sleepy, and wholly more on edge. She wrings her hands and her mind faintly buzzes.

She wasn’t in the state to see Peridot, not drooping with exhaustion and at the mercy of Peridot’s primadonna bare legs that danced across her vision like spindly pieces of blown glass.

Lapis is snapped from own thoughts when she hears the thump of a walking cane and the stream of heavy breathing, an old bird with popping veins and cloudy eyes approaches her, oh, Lapis recognized that face, she stands up straighter, the face of a ‘register watcher.’

“Good evening.” She tries to sound chipper, and the old woman nods in her direction.

“I have coupons,” she declares and reaches for her sagging brown bag that perhaps could or could not hold the entire country of Georgia in it.

She goes through the purse while Lapis reaches for her cart.

She rakes the old woman's items across the red eye of the scanner quickly, bagging the juice and lemons and bread as delicately as possible. She knew the look of someone who would eat her alive if she messed up.

Lapis then loses two years of her life waiting for the coupon to come out and take off three dollars for her 25 dollar purchases. She tries not to sigh and give into a burgeoning head ache. They finish up and Lapis feels a flood of relief.

Now she just had to wait for the store to spit out Peridot like a pinball machine and then keep an eye on her.

“The receipt?” Lapis whips her head up as the woman addresses her again. Lapis tenses.

“Yes. The receipt.” She repeats the words, customers would often react positively to just having their words recognized.

“Where is it?”

Lapis blinks several times, “I gave it to you ma'am.” She had...she assumed. It was part of the cash register dance: scan-scan, tip-tap on the keyboard, _ching_ goes the register. A hit single amongst clerks everywhere.

“No.” The woman shakes her head, “I don’t have it.” The color was rising in her cheeks, Lapis tries to remember if she screwed up, but even in a sleep-deluded coma she’s sure she gave her the receipt.

Lapis argued with the biddy, politely, until her manager was called over. Good old Carl, eyes spaced out and red hair too thick to comb, 22 and a known glue enthusiast, jogs up. He gives Lapis a reprimanding look, which was saying something from him.

He takes ‘Janice’ to a new register as she shakes her head at Lapis, and Lapis almost sticks her tongue out at her, but opts instead to give a polite smile and nod.

Then she waits.

It’s five to midnight when Peridot reemerges from the jungle of aisles and produce.

Lapis blinks at her, _go to self check out, go to self-check out_. She wills it in her mind.

Of course, life was never that fair, and Peridot doesn’t even glance at self-check. She shuffles up, blankly, sheepishly, to cash register three.

This was not Lapis’s day.

Fish, lentils, chips, a napkin holder, eggs and Tabasco sauce. Lapis watches the items carefully and doesn’t look up to stare into the other girls pale green eyes.

She chose Lapis. Of all places she had to walk her naked legs over to it was register three. Lapis can’t wait to be replaced by a machine in 2023.

“Lapis.” Peridot nods at her and places her basket on the conveyor belt.

Lapis blinks at her slowly, “you.” It curves out of her mouth like an insult.

“It's been awhile.”

“Did you find everything alright, customer?” Lapis doesn’t bother to smile but her service voice is on full force.

Peridot frowns and eyes fold down, “How’s the sleep schedule, employee?”

“Much like your manners," she grins, "it’s nonexistent.”

"Lapis,"

"Peridot."

Peridot bunches her sleeves up, “Look,” Peridot takes a deep breath, “purely from a logical standpoint the fundraiser was a success. We don’t have to be like this.”

Lapis mimics her voice, “ _we don’t be like this Lapis_ , I like using people Lapis.” Lapis pulls her basket forward and starts ringing up items aggressively. She does so automatically, like a well-practiced magician with a fast hand.

“Grow up.”

“Like you?”

“We don’t have to do this.”

“No. I think we should have a dance off instead.”

Peridot frowned, “what? Why?”

“I like to see you fail. You need a soul to dance after all.”

“Oh my God.” Peridot looks at the ceiling and appears to be counting to ten. “What do you want from me?”

“Nothing.” Lapis says more gently and then clears her throat. “And hey, I didn't even ban you from shopping here, that's something.”

“How magnanimous, you, overlord of the grocery store.”

“I know,” Lapis fluffs her hair, “plastic or paper?”

Peridot shrugs and looks at her feet, paper it was (it broke easier).

“Also,” Lapis stares down, pale pink haunting her cheekbones, “you should wear pants when you come in here. No pants, no soul, no checkout, those are like the rules I hear.”

Peridot arches an eyebrow at her questioningly, “I have shorts on. Look.” She holds her hoodie up and reveals a pair of what looked like small boxers with little alien heads on them.

Lapis scrunches her nose, "boxers aren't any better.”

“What?”

“Pants. You know? The things that cover this part of you.” She gestures downward. “And like, hide your legs from strangers.”

“Whatever. They were a present. Can I have my bags now?”

Lapis blinks, realizing Peridot had given up on reconciling with her, she almost drops the bags on her feet as she tosses them over the counter.

“Watch it!”

“Get your nudist self out of here.”

Peridot just shakes her head and troops out, “you look half dead you know.”

“I’m fully clothed at least!” She calls after her.

“They are shorts!”

The sliding doors close behind her and Lapis wonders yet again if that was somehow the last time they’d see each other. They had no reason to after all to meet again, even like this, it was all chance.

Lapis is pondering the overall odds when she catches the eye of her manager, Carl, who was giving her a hardened look. Her breath stalls in her throat, he had seen all that.

“Uh, I know her?” She offers to try to mask how bad that might have looked.

"She's a customer."

"I know her."

“Alright. Okay. Just," he rubs his eyes, "go take your break Lapis.”

She simply nods, a little numbness gathering at her fingertips as she turns around. 

Lapis slumps back to the break room, imagining what a 15 minute nap might feel like: either lovely or like being dragged down to hell with dinner with her folks the night she came out.

“Hey, Lap-lap!” A voice wafts in her direction as she thinks. She turns around to find a stout happy looking girl approach her.

“I would say hello, but I am not acknowledging that nickname.” She says with a smile in her voice.

“Aw, come on, you didn’t like the other one either.” Amethyst appeared to have just got in.

“Isn’t being named in conjunction with your last name silly enough as it is?”

Amethyst chuckles, “I’ll get you one, no worries.” She slapped on the back and Lapis grunts.

“Also, you look like hell.”

Lapis slumps, “Well, I do work there. And hey so do you, so that makes sense.” Amethyst laughs.

“Just saying, it looks your eyes are like disappearing into a black hole of your face.” She grins at her and puts her hands over her eyes like binoculars, Lapis looks away, she knew the bags under her eyes were impressive at this point.

“Do you need to clock in?” Amethyst nods.

They walk together into the break room, with one couch, five chairs and a lunch table in the center. Amethyst bends down to put her numbers in.

“Hey, I could help if you want.”

“Are you going to knock me out? I could get into being knocked out.”

Amethyst snickers, “okay, no, but it is actually an awesome idea, alright? So, like, do a drum roll or something.”

Lapis does not do a drum roll.

“Man, you’re killing me girl.”

“Is it a puppy?” She expresses flatly. Amethyst stands back up again.

She jams her hand in her over stuffed purse and yanks out a giant map, “road trip!”

Lapis raises an eyebrow, “road trip?”

“Road trip!!”

“Why?”

“I just have some friends in mind that could use a break. Also, have been really annoying up until now.”

“What?”

“I know you can’t drive,” Lapis wilts where she stands. “But we can take my car and it could be great.”

Lapis nods slowly, “m-maybe.”

“Come on, don’t tell me some Vay-k isn’t much needed.” She pokes her in the arm, Lapis rubs the spot.

Lapis looks up dreamily into the ceiling, “That could be….something. Yeah. I’ll think about it.”

Amethyst puts her uniform on and jaunts out the door, Lapis watches her slowly, eventually creeping out the room herself to go find somewhere more secluded.

She’s in the dairy aisle thinking about sneaking behind the milk to kind of, cool her nerves, when a pair of steps, fast and angry plod up behind her.

“Lapis,” it was stern, it was dark and it was Peridot once more. So much for never seeing her again.

Lapis turns slowly, “sorry, we are all out of Lapis’s, please come back at another time.”

Peridot just shakes her head and takes out her receipt, “there are two eggs rung up on here.”

Oh God. Lapis really did need a vacation, she gulps.

“Um,”

“I only got one carton of eggs.”

“Uh,

"And I paid for two."

"Would you like another?”

“Another what?”

“Eggs last forever, here,” she reaches over to pull out another dozen eggs for her.

“No, I don’t want two cartons of eggs.”

“Come one, it’ll be…” She grins, trying to ease the mood, “eggcellent.” Cheesy jokes Lapis liked to believe could get her out of 80% of life's troubles.

“Oh my God. Where is a manager?” Or not.

“Come on Peri,” Lapis had already got in trouble once tonight, “I’ll buy you real pants or something, take the second eggs.”

“What’s with you and my pants?” She asks dryly.

Lapis glances down at her bare thighs, “nothing. Just you know, hoodies aren’t dresses.” She gives her a smirk.

“Do you want to make me mad?”

“Wouldn’t be unreasonable, considering.”

“Maybe I should just use my second carton of eggs on your face.”

Lapis broke into a full on smile, “you? You’re going to vandalize me?”

Peridot’s eyes grow dark, “I could!” She exclaims shrilly.

Lapis is leaning in to take her up on that offer when a very male 22-year old voice clears it's throat by her ear.

“Carl!” Lapis jerks back and claps Peridot on that back like an old friends.

“I took care of Janice, Lapis...are there any more problems?” Lapis wasn’t one to sweat, she was cool, she was ironic, she was collected but her palms grew moist anyway.

"Yeah there is!" Peridot explicates, Carl turns to Lapis for her to answer. Lapis went through the scenarios in her head, they all ended with Peridot accusing her and Lapis getting in trouble.

“Well, actually,” Lapis’s eyes dart around, “there might be,” she looked down at Peridot, Peridot looked between the two King Soopers workers.

“Eggs,” Peridot said quickly, “Lapis was just helping me get the eggs I forgot.”

Lapis eyes went wide, “uh.”

“And here they are. Lapis you really are thoughtful.” Peridot grins at her widely, and Lapis stiffens. Was she messing with her?

Carl just nods, “good to see.”

“Here, Lapis, walk me to my car.”

They take the second eggs and walk side by side to the electric eye of the sliding doors and out into the night, it was past midnight and the parking lot is empty as the grave.

Lapis exhales as they enter into the wide-open asphalt space.

She stretches mutely for a moment, only to catch Peridot’s eye as she extends her arms. Her color rises.

“Thanks.”

Peridot shrugs and looks down at her sneakers, devoid of socks and a stark white laces against a green palette, “I’ve had hard-ass bosses myself.”

Lapis rubs her neck, “Carl’s not bad. It’s just me. And,” she bites her lip, “me. Sorry about the eggs. Even if you are an ass, you are still a customer.”

“Thanks.” She says dryly, “makes me feel all good about helping you.”

“No. Like really, thanks. We really can be civil in no time.”

Peridot exhales, “I guess I’d like that.” She shakes her head, the silence is heavy and tangible, Lapis kicks the ground in front of her, “See you ‘round.” Peridot finally says.

Lapis shrugs and leans back, staring at the empty night sky, “maybe. I think I might be headed out some time soon.”

Peridot eyes her strangely but just nods.

“Moving?”

Lapis shakes her head, “no. Just, somewhere. For Awhile.” Lapis felt like a road trip, somewhere new. 

"Okay." Peridot turns around on bright green sneakers and gets into her car, Lapis even waves at her as she drives off.

Something aches, not a like a bent back aches or a decaying tooth but like an uncovered cut after it's been sprayed with neosporin. That kind of ache.

She goes back inside, it was the third day, third days were never fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: this chapter may be subject to change.
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for kudos or comments or just reading! It always means a lot to me, and any feedback is appreciated


	13. Rooftops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fanart for this chapter comes from http://treker402.tumblr.com, check them out, they do great lapidot art! *.*
> 
> http://treker402.tumblr.com/post/138604032000/i-need-to-say-that-i-really-love-your-12

Peridot showed up at six in the morning, she hadn’t pegged Amethyst for an early riser, but the girl had claimed they needed to beat the morning traffic--it was so surprisingly practical she had almost applauded.

They agreed to meet at the parking lot of the King Soopers because they both knew where that was, though it also meant Peridot had to lug all her stuff several blocks at 5:45 am in the morning.

She started to wonder if a road trip was really worth it.

Of course, then she remembers she could finally turn her phone off, block Ms. Diamond's number or crawl under a rock and become a hermit for a week. The possibilities were endless.

She also hadn’t liked the way Ms. Diamond treated her after Rose Quartz had approached Peridot: stared too long, hands ghosted over her waist, words that purred.

No. Peridot could definitely use a vacation.

 

She tugged her duffel bag higher up on her shoulder and then braced against the shiver of cold wind that disturbs the otherwise pleasant morning.

The sun rises over the tips of the distant mountains, small and whimsical in the backdrop of birdsongs and orange sky.

 

She trudges through the parking lot towards one of the only other cars in the entire lot: a light blue station wagon with brown sidings.

Peridot wondered if all two of them were going to fit in the cramped looking thing.

“Yo, P!” Amethyst waves at her from on top of the car with the trunk wide open.

“Morning.” She returns, “or rather, barely morning.” She knows it sounds like complaining, Amethyst snorts.

She says something else, but Peridot’s eyes are distracted.

Right behind the left side of the car tips of electric blue hair that swept around her head in tangled threads caught her eye.

Blue jeans, a flower sweater, and,

“What are _you_ doing here?” She manages, though she can obviously tell Lapis has bags in her hands, bags she was putting in the small car.

Lapis looks up, blinks, and then face slowly morphs into disgust like one of those covers of an animorph book: pretty girl gradually turns into furious girl.

“Eggs are in the store genius.” She says dryly.

“Eggs?”

Lapis raises an eyebrow, “why do you have bags? Is your place flooded from the tears of your neighbors at having to live by you?”

“Why do _you_ have bags?”

Realization passes between them at the same time and they begin to circle each other like territorial cats. This did not mean good things.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Amethyst jumps between them. “Let’s all be-”

“What is she doing here?” They asked simultaneously.

“With bags,” Lapis gestures at her, palms to the sky.

“Uh, well,” Amethyst shuffles her feet for a moment, “I thought this would be more fun?”

“Murder _is_ fun.” Lapis says darkly.

Peridot chuckles, sliding her fingers through her hair, “oh my God. _Oh my God_.” She repeats, “of course. Yeah, right, of course this would happen.”

“Or I guess, a break down is fun too.” Lapis says as she examines Peridot pulling on her own hair.

“Come on guys.” Amethyst draws their attention with her muted tone, “I don’t even know what happened between you, but I swear it’s probably dumb and we should all go on a road trip together.”

“You don’t even know her,” Lapis complains.

“Peri is fun, Lap. Plus, you’ve been miserable over her for so long so I figured this was the best solution.” Lapis flushes.

“Miserable over me, huh?” Peridot can feel herself visibly gloating.

“Because she makes me miserable! How are we supposed to go on vacation with that?” Lapis juts a thumb at her as she continues not to look at Peridot.

“Hey, remember that egg thing?” Peridot reminds of her of their semi-truce.

“Remember the pasta thing? Or the ball I was paraded around at?”

Peridot heats up, ready to go at it when Amethyst latches onto Lapis’s elbow, she whispers in her ear. Lapis deflates and murmurs ‘alright, alright’ as Amethyst says something to her.

“It’ll be fun.” Amethyst reiterates, “Peridot is a serious whack-job, you’re a whack-job who can’t be serious, it’s great!”

Peridot shakes her head, “and what are you?”

Amethyst’s teeth gleam, “the one driving.”

Peridot takes a deep breath, “do we have a choice in this?”

Amethyst keeps smiling, “nope.” She gives them a thumbs up, “All or nothing.”

They stare at each other with forlorn and then mutually grumble something that might have been agreement.

They squabble several minutes later: who would sleep _on the floor,_ yes even when they had enough beds, what was the safe word for when they needed the other one to shut up, who got to shower first, ect.

Amethyst even began to groan as they argued over whose bag got to be on top.

“No, you see, you will squish my backup pair of glasses if you put yours on top.”

“Well, yours blocks the rear view, and mine is lighter than yours.” They shuffle the bags back and forth.

“Jeeezzuuus, okay, mine goes on top.” Amethyst aggressively rearranges the luggage. “Because I am the official boss of this trip. Boss Amethyst, I will answer to Yes Ma'am and Thank You Ma'am, yes, I know this is for my own good, you are the boss bitch.”

“Peridot is great at thank you ma’ams.” Lapis jabs with an eyeroll.

“Don’t mind her Amethyst, Lapis is only cranky because her brain can’t comprehend ‘getting over it’ and ‘not being a huge drama queen.”

Lapis growls. “Shot gun!”

“No way!” Peridot was already diving for the door handle, she wasn’t going to lose on this one.

Lapis tries to elbow her out of the way with her swan-long arms that dimpled at the forearm, and Peridot bites her on the shoulder.

“Yow!”

“Mph,mmm,” She mumbles into Lapis’s skin.

“Great, now I need to go to the,” she pushes on Peridot with her hip, “hospital for my rabies shot.”

Peridot licked the spot, “gross!” She spouts.

Lapis lets go of the door.

“Children!” Amethyst cries, “get in the damn vehicle.”

Peridot smugly troops into the front seat. Peridot: 1.

Lapis bundles into the back and Amethyst grumbles about how she can’t believe she was being the mature one there. Her. _Amethyst_.

She starts up the old car and backs up out of the King Soopers parking lot.

////

The first stretch of road was serene for a moment, like the stretch of time after a storm settles.

Peridot asks about the itinerary (up and down the Northeast coast; New England: 'hell yeah!'--Amethysts words), and Peridot notices Lapis looking out the window with her eyes distant and dreamy all the while.

Amethyst is even commenting on how smooth this was going to go, and how super excited she was about all lobster she was going to eat on vacation. So much.

They get around to coffee and breakfast and Lapis retells a funny story about the first time she tried blueberry muffins (it involved a bakery and a lot of clean up).

Of course, when Peridot laughed at it, Lapis set her laser angry eyes on her and Peridot almost swallows her own tongue.

It only got worse when they realized they had something more in common.

They were on a long stretch of empty road, plains dotted with tree on either side of them, sun high in the air as midday struck.

“Paulette is not useless! She belongs with Percy, they have the most chemistry.”

“That’s so heteronormative-”

“Me? With the heteros? No. Paulette is demi-aro and Percy is trans.”

“What the hell is demi-aro??”

Lapis just snorts at her, “some head canons might be too much for you.”

“All I’m saying is Percy and Pierre would be the strongest together, no more useless breakups at camp, they are _forever_. Here, I have some fan theory on them in my phone.”

Lapis starts giggling at her, “oh my god. You dork.” It was affectionate but then she clears her voice quickly, “denying Paulette is still totally sexist. You can’t just hate on her to promote your own guy-thing.”

“I mean,” Peridot flushes as she raises her voice, “I don’t _hate_ Paulette.”

Amethyst glances between them, “nerds.” She coughs, “man, I must have something in my throat, gee.”

“Her swimming abilities are admittedly admirable and I did indulge in quite a few ‘Reader x Paulette' stories." Peridot remembers with a far-off look before clearing her throat, "Her with Percy is just illogical though.”

Lapis blinks slowly, “why?”

Peridot just shakes her head, “read this.”

Lapis pushes it away stubbornly, “I’m not reading your 15 page long thesis on Peirrcey. You don’t even have paragraph breaks.”

Peridot almost climbs into the back seat to read it aloud to her.

“All I know about that show is that they had entire plot line surrounding beavers. Beavers.” Amethyst chimes in.

“That was a great story arch.” Lapis defends just as Peridot says,

“That is the pivotal character development for half the campers, the beaver expedition is a work of art.”

That distracts them from attacking each other to gushing about Camp Pining Hearts together.

In retrospect, Peridot dubbed Amethyst very brave for facing hours of that.

They stop at a small diner in the middle of nowhere at when it gets dark and the air is a little lighter, more breathable after the long trip.

They order cheap burgers and milkshakes and sit in large red chairs surrounded by truckers and a family with young kids screaming into the ceiling. They ignore that.

Lapis is smiling, and Peridot is of course not staring, she’s just looking, “I haven’t done stuff like this since I was a kid.”

Amethyst pokes her in the side, “you’re only 24 dude.”

“Still! We’re at a diner, drinking milkshakes on some sort of spring break girls-trip.” They settle down in the glow of the neon signs.

Peridot balances her fork between her fingers as they wait for the burgers, “I never did stuff like this when I was young.” It was more introspective than anything.

Amethyst flicks a sugar packet at her, it hits her between the eyes.

“Goal!”

Lapis is concentrating on her, “I’m sure you were born in a business suit right out of the womb.”

“How did you know?”

“Your mother. Last night.”

Amethyst snickers, but Peridot rolls her eyes, “really?”

“She says hi. And that her nerd daughter never had fun as a kid.”

Peridot looked down at her hands, Lapis expects her to volley back. “I guess I never had girl friends like this.” The words tumble out and she realizes her introspections was a bummer when they don’t respond.

“Well!” Amethyst nervously proclaims, “We’re here now, friends, and literally all the fries you can eat.” She pats Peridot’s hand, “never too late for all that.”

Peridot tries not to smile gratefully. She waits for Lapis to take another swing at her, being a ‘lonely child who probably creepily stood in hallways and told strangers of their sins’ or something. However, she remains quiet.

 

They get their food and eat more than their fair share, the conversation turns to the guy at the counter, werewolf, ye or nay? 

It was silly, it was so incredibly silly Peridot is surprised Ms. Diamond’s voice doesn’t start yelling at her from miles away or her mom doesn’t descend in a hail of paperwork.

She shoots her straw paper covering at Lapis’s face, it hits her square in the head and then bounces off to hit Amethyst. Peridot laughs until she can’t breath.  She can't remember if that was the first time.

They are on the road again by 7:30.

 

They cruise along at a good 70 miles per hour pace and are making good time to Chesapeake coast.

That is until Peridot and Lapis start arguing again.

Amethyst brought up Rose Quartz, her assistant apparently knew Amethyst's mom. And Rose Quartz brought up the fundraiser--and that night.

It began: whose fault was it the night went south? Peridot for setting it up or Lapis for over reacting?

An hour passed, Amethyst ended up pulling the car over like a bereaved mother, empty, empty brown fields surround them on all sides.

“Enough!” She fiercely hits the brakes and parks, “no one cares who hit who in the face first! This is dumb.”

“She-”

“No. I don’t care.”

“I was a perfect host-”

“No you weren’t.”

“Exactly!”

“And grudges are stupid Lapis.”

They both slump down in their seats.

“Now, I know you two need to work through your junk. But we have bigger problems.”

Peridot looks over at her, “what?”

“I was distracted, and sort of…”

“What?” Lapis leans over into the front seats.

“You can’t get mad ‘cause you both were part of the problem.” They are fixated on her now. “We are officially out of gas.”

Peridot feels her heartbeat spike, “out here?!”

“Calm down.”

Lapis groans, “I blame you.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“No one is around!” She asserts very practically.

Amethyst makes a creepy face and leers at her, “you’re right.” Peridot pushes on her face and she’s a little less tense.

“So, um, then,” Lapis interrupts, “are we accepting Our Deaths or is there a game plan?” She asks curiously.

Amethyst clears her throat and pulls out her phone, “I was planning to stop at the next gas station a mile away, we just, you know,” she blushes, “didn’t make it.” Peridot pats her on the back, “my bad guys.”

She would get more mad, but that would mean losing Amethyst as an ally against a certain cerulean haired female.

“Then what?”

“We sleep in the car I guess. Walk there in the morning with a canister.”

“Welp, cardio for the month then.”

Amethyst exhales and swings her arms wide, “it’s all part of the experience.”

“And all just on the first day.” Peridot can’t help but grumble.

Lapis thwapps her on the shoulder, “Amethyst planned out this whole thing, it’s not our place--”

“It’s totally fine. It _is_ my bad.”

Peridot glances at her, “I am very open to these new experiences." She assures, "I’ve never been vacation with friends, like I said. Plus, _I_ don’t hold grudges.” She flashes her eyes at Lapis but both of their faces are quite.

They talk logistics a little longer before settling down in awkward positions to try and get some sleep.

Lapis gets the entire backseat and Peridot just sort of bends her back crooked to recline in the chair.

At first it is all bees in her brain but the long day catches up to her and her thoughts flicker off one by one.

////

A thud draws her attention, a bright dream about watermelon fades and she hears a door closing gently.

Peridot moves around to settle herself back down, then she feels the car shift slightly, she looks around, Lapis’s feet dangle off the back of the vehicle.

Peridot wipes her eyes, slides her shoes back on and groggily letting herself out into the open air, Amethyst snores deeply behind her.

Peridot sways to the side of the car, closing the door quietly behind her.

Lapis is sitting on top of the car, looking up at the sky and looking almost ethereal, she holds something in her hands.

“Hey,” Peridot walks up to her.

“Hey.” Lapis responds faintly.

“Can’t sleep?”

Lapis gives a slight sigh, heavy and weary, “nope.” She looks down at Peridot, eyes glowing grey in the night. “Do you want a beer?” She shakes the can in her hand.

Peridot shakes her head, “I don’t drink.”

“Tch,” Lapis looks off into the distance, “that’s too bad.”

“Scoot over,” Peridot pushes on her hip, Lapis moves and Peridot climbs on to the top of the car next to her.

“I would love to see you drunk.”

“‘t’s not fun.” Peridot articulates before yawning, “I’m either really hyper or cry about dumb things.”

“Cry?”

“Sob. Over my trash being full.” She shakes her head.

Lapis smiles, a real smile, and blows air out her nose, “still sounds fun.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Her head bobs up and down. She focuses on the glittery milky way, it was a million little stars above them. There were no cities, just white, white, white twinkles against a blue-black canvas and rolling brown hills.

“Why are you out here?” Lapis finally asks, filling the still air.

Peridot glances at her, “keep you company. Obviously.”

Lapis seems to think about that, then take a sip of her beer.

“Why?” She asks, the ‘you hate me’ hidden behind her words.

Peridot doesn’t look up at her, “I’ve heard I was a jackass at some point. Even if I’m not sure why.”

Lapis takes another sip and then looks at the sky, “Are you sorry?”

Peridot bites her lip, it was now or never. “Yeah. I guess so.” It was feather light.

Lapis smiles, her eyes reflecting the glow of the sky, like jewels, Peridot is tired but her pulse speeds up. She is smiling. “I hear you also helped with some egg-related issues. We might be good.”

“And?” Peridot almost expected an apology.

The smile on Lapis’s face fades like the sunset and she stares at her hands and fidgets, “I had someone in my life.” She starts, Peridot holds her breath. “And we were bad for each other.”

“Like us?” Peridot breaths.

Lapis just chuckles, “nothing like us.” She drinks deeply, “we wanted to destroy each other. And we stayed together, just to tear each other down.” Her voice is whisper thin.

Peridot feels like she’s seeing a peep show of a star taking off her makeup. She waits for Lapis to continue, it is a long minute.

“It made me wary. Of being used, ‘cause that’s all we use to do, use each other. So when we were,” Lapis purses her lips, “at the party.”

Peridot impulsively grabs her wrist, “it was my fault.”

“It just made me think of that. But,” Lapis turns a watery smile on her, “you really, really aren’t like her,” she tilts her head to the side, “though," She grumbles, "I guess she’s not so bad now.”

“How’d it end?” Peridot asks, her eyes wide.

"The relationship?"

"Yeah."

Lapis face goes slack, she slowly lies herself back onto the car, hands folded over her stomach as reclines on her back, “in flames.”

Peridot joins her laying on top of the roof.

“It probably wasn’t your fault.”

“It was.”

Peridot breathes in slowly, “my first date didn’t end very well either.”

Lapis quirks a grin, “What happened?”

“It was fake first of all. And then I pissed her off and she stormed off.”

Lapis’s eyes go wide with understanding. “She must be a fool then.” She kisses her on the forehead, it seems thoughtless and sudden but Peridot can’t help but have her insides twist and glow. Lapis's bow-shaped lips briefly warming her forehead, it was enough.

“Nah.” Peridot shrugs.

“The first one? Really?” It wasn’t mean, not the way Peridot wished the question was.

It was Peridot’s turn to feel like she was taking off her clothes in a school classroom, “it’s true. I’ve never been good with dating, or people. Too loud, too petty, focused on grades or career, or whatever.” Her mouth becomes a hard straight line, “alone was fine, I knew it was going to be that way.”

She doesn’t look at Lapis but can feel her eyes on her like hot coals that burn off rocks and grass and wood.

Lapis’s thumb is suddenly running over the top of her hand, massaging little circles into it, tiny little movements, warm against her icebox hands.

“No one is alone.”

Peridot barely breaths for fear of breaking or tearing away the soft heat of Lapis’s hand over hers, drawing circles and triangles and little hearts.

No one is alone.

They pause to examine the sky above them, silent and skin touching skin.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah.”

 

“We’re really lucky.”

“Most people are.” She rolls over and her lips touch Peridot’s shoulder, it may have been an accident, she pulls away and they face each other.

More little circles pressed into her arm.

Time passes, slow and even, Peridot can feel it and the large heavens above them, no one moves.

But then she begins to yawn, unable to control the sleepiness at her edges but unable to ignore the bite of the stiff cold metal against her back.

“You should go in.” Lapis says, retracting her hand.

“We both should.” She murmurs.

Lapis shakes her head, “gotta finish this bear.”

“It’s been hours!”

“I got distracted.”

“Oh,” Peridot flashes.

“It's not so bad. It’s even stayed cold.”

"Heh," she grunts in amusement, Peridot then climbs down, “thank you. For this.”

“We should at least be good for Amethyst.”

“I’m not riding down the hotel hallways on luggage carts. I know you guys said we had to, but,”

Lapis is laughing, her shoulders shaking,

“What?”

Lapis keeps laughing, nose scrunched up and eyes crinkling.

“What?”

“You’re something else.”

Peridot feels like she should defend herself, but she laughs lightly to herself too, “so are you.”

Lapis raises her can, “cheers to that.”

Peridot watches her, perched on the roof and recklessly tired and bright and surrounded by the stars. Her heart thumps in her chest like a chirping bird.

Then Peridot sneezes.

“Go inside!”

Peridot grumbles something and then climbs back into the passenger seat of the station wagon.

She falls asleep almost instantly, she doesn’t know what Lapis does.

 

In the morning all Amethyst says is ‘what happened to you two?’ As they can stand to smile at each other for once.

Lapis blushed, Peridot lifted her chin up proudly, “we decided we could ship both Percy, Pierre and Paulette.”

Amethyst makes a small noise, “right.”

They walk a mile to the gas station, and a mile back, Peridot can’t bring herself to be bothered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis has a lot of outlandish head canons that end with aliens and Peridot writes secret amounts of cheesy fluff about Pining Hearts on top of all her shipping theories. 
> 
> Also, this chapter was Very Long, so I might want to break it up for purposes of pacing, what do you guys think?


	14. Salem (isn't burning)

Lapis picked up a small black pointed hat, she examines it for a moment before placing it on her head. It was snug and tight around the edges, probably meant for a child.

She turns around in one smooth motion, opening her arms up wide, “how do I look?”

Peridot eyes her up and down, unamused, “like a tourist.”

Amethyst sniggers and thumps her on the back, “very flammable. I would definitely accuse you of devil magic and have you hung.”

Lapis tapped her fingers together, “excellent.” she hunched over, “I always knew I was meant to go out in style.”

Amethyst laughs and they try on different hats.

They had reached their first tourist trap: Salem Massachusetts. Where all the witches were burned and all the 70s hippies tried to invade.

They had ended up in one of the many specialty shops capitalizing on the fact their ancestors were drama queens.

They were in ‘Witchery’ the shop, Amethyst was examining a side room.

“Lapis! Look at this.” She drags her over, “it’s a~spirit parlour~.” She wiggles her fingers up and down. Lapis laughs as Amethyst ‘oohs~’ at her, “we’ll be faced with the horrors of ghostly small talk and haunted tea.”

Lapis shoulders shakes, “I’m not sure if I can handle my grandma telling me to sit up straight from beyond the grave.”

Amethyst gives her a thumbs up. “This place sure knows how to be fake-spooky.”

“They’re trying.” She nods sardonically.

“Ooh look, a candle that burns purple!” Amethysts eyes go wide and she runs over to a seance section.

Lapis watches her with a head tilt and then wanders over to where Peridot is inspecting a crystal ball with the look of a scientist dragged into a flat-earthers convention.

Lapis softly padded up behind her and placed her hands over Peridot’s stubby fingers. Peridot jumps.

“As a witch I can tell you your future.” She lilts in a low tone. Peridot turns around in her long arms and they hold the crystal ball between them.

Peridot meets her eye, “oh?” She says slowly, “is it a raise and better eyesight?”

Lapis shakes her head tragically, “I’m afraid it says you’re going to lose all your hair and accidentally adopt a baby.”

“How do you accidently--”

“It’s all in the ball!” Lapis shakes the transparent orb and Peridot hints a smile.

“Well,” she takes her hands back and puts them on her hips, “it says you’re going to have help me raise it. Take responsibility for your predictions.”

“I’m not sure." Lapis inputs coyly, "Does it have your nose?” Lapis boops her nose, Peridot rubs it indignantly.

“It does. In fact, it is a smaller exact copy of me.” She suggests blandly.

“Perfect. A tiny Peridot, though,” She squints her eyes and leans forward, “I’m not sure how you could get any smaller.”

“Uh,” Peridot huffs hotly, Lapis snort-laughs at her offended airs.

“I’m taking custody.” She announces dryly.

“Dott likes me more. You’ll never win.”

“You already named her?”

“I already accidentally raised her and sent her to college. It's too late.”

“Were we good parents?”

Lapis just shakes her head, “She is joining a metal band and writing bad poetry about us.”

Peridot nods sagely, “I don't blame her."

Lapis is laughing again, the crystal ball tipping from her hand, Peridot catches it.

"You would never be able to hold our child." Lapis is trying to laugh, but her head somehow concentrates on the word our. _Our_. Like, as a real word.

“What are you two doing?” Amethyst returns, carrying a very purple candle in her arms.

“Discussing our fake child we’re raising.”

“Fake?" Lapis touches her chest, "This is why Dott has issues.”

Amethyst looks between them. “I would have issues too if you two raised me.”

Lapis rolls her eyes, “Alright. Britney is right,” she puts the crystal ball down, “we should choose our own destiny.”

“Thank God,” Peridot begins, “you know none of this is real and the idea there is some force unbound by laws of reality is…” She goes on her logic-speel and Amethyst tries to push them out of the shop.

“Wait,” Lapis stops at the door, “Peridot gimme my wallet, I want to buy this hat.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Lap, I’m starting to question your tastes.” Amethyst comments.

“I’m becoming my true self.”

Amethyst mock-whispers to Peridot, “a _nerd_.”

Peridot takes out her pack, Lapis had pants without pockets (thanks Satan) and Peridot had a big enough bag to carry their wallets and water bottles in.

She slips her the blue wallet and Lapis quickly goes to buy the small-pointy witches hat.

She walks up to the droopy looking cashier, dressed uncomfortably in flat wilting clothes and fake jewels.

Lapis flashes a smile and purchases the souvenir.

Lapis returns to their group and gets minimal flak for her tourist habits.

“Where do you want to eat?”

“No more pasta.” Peridot complains.

“You’re no fun."

Peridot and Amethyst argue over food choice, both being surprising foodies where Lapis would eat anything.

She admires the surroundings as she goes. New England.

Puritanical buildings stretch upward, small and huddling for density in the wake of a grey sky. People flitted over narrow streets like shadows and the smell of moisture hung in the air.

It was populated by little houses with green doors and dark shutters, across cobblestone and gas street lights.

Lapis watched as the places streamed by one by one. They find a little corner shop and get a lunch to go from there.

“Let’s eat in the park.” Lapis asserts, wanting to watch more of the town.

They go find a little place in a wooded square and sit down. A cemetery is placed to their left with dried flower and weird Wicca offerings to the girls who died there. Lapis wrinkles her nose, it seemed a contrast of the two very different time periods that could never understand each other.

“It’s cool here.” Lapis finally comments.

“You’re welcome.” Amethyst says, “I’m not so bad at this vacation thing.”

Lapis nods, "have you thought of a career in this?"

"Yes. It's called, 'no gas and go'." Amethyst tries to joke about her folly, Lapis nods.

“Let’s go south next. You can actually swim in the ocean there.”

“Hey, if you’re not a baby you can swim in the ocean here too.”

They discuss how cold it was getting again, a northern wind whipping up the leaves on the trees and skewing everyone's hair.

Lapis eats her cucumber and cream cheese sandwich, it was odd, but she is also...content, like the weight of everything that was _her_ was far away.

They set out on a walking tour of Salem with a historical narrator. There wasn’t much to see. There was one historical site left, it was called the 'judge's house' (where one of the judges use to live). It was old and well protected.

Lapis’s favorite part was the ‘poppets,’ little dolls colonials use to place in their walls to ward off evil spirits. And then the dolls would be ripped out of the house and go to proving they were a witch--Even though the accuser also had poppets in their walls. It was the kind of nonsense Lapis thrived off.

She examined a cloth doll with a long red dress and little corn husk braids. She wanted to stroke it.

“Will you make me a creepy doll to keep in my walls to ward off evil?” she says affectionately towards the display.

“Have you seen my art skills?" Peridot says dryly.

Amethyst leans over, "I'm sure it will get you accused for it."

Lapis puts her hat back on. "They can try."

Peridot shakes her head, "I'll make you a doll if you build me a house to put it in."

Lapis grins, "a one-roomer. No electricity, just us and the cow."

Peridot looks down at her feet, "sure." She trails off, Lapis tilts her head at that. "Our house."

They disperse again to look over the rooms.

Amethyst pokes at an old writing desk, “this stuff is so old.”

“It’s romantic.”

“You’re weird.” Amethyst says as she looks at her.

“Okay, this is why Peridot is making me a poppet and not you.”

“Peridot!” Amethyst turns on the blonde melodramatically, catching her attention, "I'm offended."

“Don’t worry. It will probably draw evil to her more than anything.” She says as she leans on a display. The tour guide yells at them.

 

Lapis’s feet start to ache as they finish the walk of the city. Novelty shop, novelty shop, and then at least the house of the guy who wrote the scarlet letter. Lapis talks about being a harlot in a past life, Amethyst agrees, Peridot doesn't meet her eye.

Finally, they finish the tour by heading towards the bay as the sun grows low on a murky horizon. They make it to the ocean and Lapis’s heart soars.

She jumps up and down, “look at that! It’s been ages.”

“It’s full of sewage.”

“So are you.” Lapis sticks her tongue out.

They make it the water front, the sun glares on it like yellow silk on a grey-blue sheet, Amethyst expresses excitement for sea food, Peridot pulls her coat on.

Lapis remains quiet.

“We should go sailing.”

“With our budget?"

"Yeah," Lapis frowns and sighs deeply, “good point. Too much."

Peridot glances at her and adds gently, “maybe sometime. Heck, maybe Ms. Diamond would foot the bill.”

Lapis smiles, a little soggy at the edges, Peridot smiles back.

They make it to the historical boat ‘the Friendship of Salem,’ since Salem was naturally known for it’s friendship.

Lapis and Amethyst run around below deck, Peridot dutifully listens to the tour guide go on about Salem’s port culture.

Lapis finds a cock roach.

“It’s so big!”

“Catch it!” Amethyst runs up to it, hands out.

“Do _not_ catch it.” Peridot snaps at them through her teeth.

“Will you ladies stay with the group?” The guide finally turns on them again. They don't catch the cock roach.

They fall in line, though Lapis sort of wants to stay on the waterfront a little longer, a little more.

They end their tour at a local brewery and Lapis finds herself drawn to something heavy and dark.

“Are you really drinking?” Peridot asks as she jumps on a bar stool. “It’s only _four_.”

"Sure is." Lapis says as she waits for the bartender.

“Go for it Lap, fight the man.”

“The man is gonna get sucker punched by Jack Daniels himself." Lapis says plainly.

“Oh my God.” Peridot looks up at the heavens.

“Hey, smokey, we all have vices.”

Cigarettes vs drinking was interesting conversation, Amethyst just shakes her head at the both of them.

“Just try not to call Jasper this time.” She comments wryly.

“Jasper?”

Amethyst turns to Peridot, “Did you hear this story? It’s hilarious!”

“We are not telling this story.”

“It’s funny!”

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” Lapis says quickly, “I called the wrong number.” _When I tried to call you_ , she thinks to herself a tad bitterly. “Lemme drink in peace guys.”

“You do you.” Amethyst says as she spins around on one of the stools. "Though it is a funny story."

“Peridot,” Lapis changes the subject, “wallet me.”

“Fine.” Peridot swings her satchel off her shoulder, “don’t mix your drinks though.”

Lapis shrugs, she puts out her hand, “come on daddy, I need the sugar.”

Peridot scowls at that and her hand keeps searching in the front of her pack.

Lapis watches expectedly, “is this for dramatic effect?”

Peridot was getting pale, pursing her lips as her hands work more frantically.

Amethyst stopped her spinning, “what’s the matter?”

Peridot furrowed her brow, she started to turn her pack inside out.

"Peridot," Lapis says apprehensively.

Peridot stood up, hands empty, “remember when we ran out of gas?”

They nod.

“We have some more problems.”

Lapis’s eyes went wide, “my wallet…?”

Peridot is clenching her fists, then jumps to her feet, “we have to go back. We have to go back right now.” Peridot was scrambling to get her jacket on.

“I thought we agreed to stay indoors?” Amethyst says with a slight strain in her voice, “it is getting cloudy.”

“I do have stuff in their Am.” Lapis says thoughtfully and gets to her feet too, feeling queezy.

“We should talk to the cops.” Amethyst suggests.

Lapis makes a face, “maybe…”

“Come on!” Peridot was breathless as she herded her out of the warm bar.

A cold north wind slaps her in the face as they go out.

“Let’s go back to the cornershop.”

“And Judges house.”

"And the docks."

“Should we split up?”

Lapis nods, “everyone keep their phones on.” Thank God she kept her phone in her bra.

They give each other worried glances and then part, Peridot grabs her wrist as she turns to leave.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles eyes wide, “I don’t normally,” she gulps. "This isn't like me."

“No worries.” Lapis waves her off, “I’m good.”

“It’s not good.” Peridot was trying to keep it together, Lapis reaches for her, smoothing her hair down.

“Peridot…” She tries to sound soothing.

“I am going to find it.”

“Okay. But don’t have an aneurysm on the way.”

They wave goodbye and Lapis jogs down the narrow streets, winding her way back in her own footsteps.

Her money, her credit cards, her lip gloss...ugh. Why was she an adult and not a child whose greatest possession was a barbie fake computer?

She walks quickly.

Of course, Lapis was not the type to completely lose it, she had 15 bucks on her debit cards and only coins in cash, have fun with that buddy.

She makes it to the corner shop and looks around, the floor, the shelves, the cash register check out are all empty.

“Are you sure you haven’t seen a little wallet with blue fish on it?” She asks meekly.

The cashier shakes their head and blows a bright pink bubble, “‘fraid not.”  
Of course.

Lapis runs out of the shop again and almost into a bike, she calms down and takes out her phone.

‘I’m coming ur way.’ She types to Peridot as she heads to the park by the cemetery.

Little shelves of grey stone and dried flowers pass as she hurries into the wind that whipped around her face. It would rain, just like they said it would.

Peridot didn’t text her back.

She padded back and forth across the park.

“Peridot!” She tried. “Come on. Two is better than 'alone and getting wet out here'.”

Peridot doesn’t reply, she follows a muddy track to a tree.

“Peridot?” She locates a blonde on her hands and knees. “What are you doing?”

She turns on her slowly, “it’s got to be on the ground somewhere.” She says in a hollow voice.

“Are you okay?” Lapis didn't know what was going on with her.

Peridot looks at her hands, “I messed up.”

“Uh, I mean, I’ll just cancel my credit card and get a new one.” Lapis shrugs, "I'm lucky I don't own much."

Peridot got up and looked to be glaring at the ground in front of Lapis.

“Are you really _that_ calm?”

“What?”

“Aren’t you mad? You don’t have to hide it.” Her shoulders were almost shaking.

“We all mess up, and, um, I have totally done it before.”

Peridot walks up to her, her little head just below Lapis’s chin. The dark clouds start to drizzle on them.

“You can be mad at me again,” she says in a small voice, closing her eyes, “it was your things I was watching. I fucked up."

“What’s going on Peridot?” Lapis says slowly.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s raining.” Lapis puts her hand on her shoulder, “we should go inside.”

Peridot shook her head, “and you were just forgiving me…”

Lapis’s eyes went wide, her heart pitter-pattering a little faster as Peridot’s lips trembled like miniature dog in the snow.

Lapis barely knew what to say, “I’m not mad.”

“I’m sorry.” She squeezed her eyes shut, “I’msorry, I’msorry.”

Lapis grabs her a little tighter around the shoulders.

“This isn't like the Quartz's fundraiser.” She says haltingly, feeling this was not just about Lapis and her wallet.

“I'm an assistant, my mom would...this shouldn’t happen.”

“Peridot!” She yelled, trying to bring her back. “You’re okay.”

"You don't have to say that." Her eyes were squeezed shut, face contorted and hot. "I understand."

Lapis felt...something. Deep and dark brown in her chest that made it tighten and want to hold Peridot closer.

She leaned down, she wanted to her to be okay, she wanted to swing her around in the rain like it was a romcom that told her tell her that love is easy, everything is easy...Peridot moves her head to the left, Lapis rashly leans down, puckers her lips, _kisses_ the side of her mouth.

Time stops, freezes, wind in her hair, moisture weighing down her clothes in a hazy drizzle. Peridot’s eyes like saucers and tinted green behind her glasses, shocked and lovely, and mad at herself.

Lapis pulls away quickly. “Everything is fine.” She repeats.

Peridot looks up to her, amazed, “Um.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

Peridot just blinks, “um.”

“Really.” Her face was flushed, _please forget that_.

“Lapis…”

“You’ll just have to spot me money for dinner tonight.” She was speaking fast nonsense.

"What was..."

"I won't order anything expensive." She spouts, "we should leave." She turns her back on her.

“I,” Peridot was flushing when Lapis glanced back at her, “you didn’t have to do that.”

Lapis bites her lip, “I wanted to.”

Peridot reaches for her hand, Lapis pulls away. “Not,” she says in a hush, “no. let’s find Amethyst.”

Confusion glows in Peridot's eyes, Lapis was confusing.

They find Lapis’s wallet, empty and stripped of most it’s contents, discarded on the grass like a rejected movie script. Peridot is mute and Lapis watches the wheels grinding away in her head.

Lapis and Peridot don’t make eye contact.

Lapis calls up her credit card company and counsels her card.

Peridot tries to apologize again, so does Lapis, Amethyst tells them to not look like a bunch of weirdo's at a wax museum trying to imitate the stiff figurines. 

Lapis feels like something is very different in the air, it rains and a fire churns in her chest like molten lava during an earthquake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me if it's too rushed or anything -.-'
> 
> thank you for all the kind words from last time! The story heats up from this point on


	15. Storm Chasers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much the same as the first iteration, just...better

“Let’s go to the pool! Let’s go to the pool!” Amethyst was cheering, drawing out each word as she goes. They deposited their luggage into the small motel room.

“Why is there only a king sized bed?” Peridot complains as she surveyed their surroundings.

“Who cares?”

“To save money, duh.” Amethyst fiddled with her jacket sleeve, “we’ll just share.”

Peridot blanches at that, remembering the last time she spent a night with Lapis in a bed, the legs and arms entangled in hers, the heat against her side. She’s not sure she can do it again.

Before Peridot can protest or dwell on it Lapis and Amethyst are converging at the door.

“Do you think it has a water slide?”

“No way!”

“Only one way to find out.” There eyes are gleaming in the way Peridot does not like.

Peridot rolls her eyes, “do you guys even have suits?” She tries to reason with them, it was almost ten at night, “is it even open?”

Lapis and Amethyst were already exiting their room 212.

“Come on P,” Amethyst calls over her shoulder, “it’s gonna be _sweet_.”

“You _just_ ate Amethyst.” 

Peridot jogs after them, she did not understand either of their enthusiasm for low-budget motels and communal swimming pools.

However, sitting alone in the room and thinking about the last day or two sounded far worse. Most of it consisted of: WHAT DID ANY OF THIS MEAN?

Peridot was a creature of logic. Of reason, of rationality she prided herself on. So her emotions being a bowl of soup with no explanation was highly distressing.

Lapis kissed her, Lapis pulled back, Lapis wasn’t mad at her, or was she? It was a riddle mixed with a mystery wrapped in a scooby doo episode. One of the ones that didn't make much sense.

Not to mention that Peridot wasn’t sure she knew what she herself wanted.

A girlfriend sounded like work, and Lapis sounded like the biggest question mark of them all. However, as much Peridot liked puzzles, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that one.

Peridot is batting around the dumb idea of doing sudoku in the morning with Lapis while the sun rose as they just, relax together, when she reaches the little oblong motel pool.

The gate is locked, forcing her to climb over the low fence to reach the whooping and hollering of Amethyst and Lapis on the other side.

She scrambles over, only bruising her ass minimally on the dismount and fumbles over to the side of the pool.

“This place is closed!” She hisses to the two of them.

“Then why are the lights on?” Amethyst counterpoints with a mischievous grin.

"Because that's what they do." She retorts.

Peridot glances at the unnatural water, it was lit by striking white lights and the water was a robin-eggs blue against the dark night and grey concrete.

Peridot huffs and looks between them, “and what? We’re just going to sit by it and--WHOA.” She jumps back, Amethyst was stripping off her t-shirt into a pale-purple bra.

Peridot blinks rapidly, “what are you doing?” She chews through the words like gnawing on soggy cardboard. Slowly.

Amethyst snorts, “lighten up. I’m just going swimming.”

 _Please don’t skinny dip_ , Peridot prays to her gay Gods.

“Don’t tell me…” Peridot whispers to herself as glances over at Lapis, she too was shimming out of her shorts and revealing a pair of bikini-style underwear with a plaid pattern.

Peridot may or may not swallow her own tongue.

She has to physically turn herself the other direction when Lapis takes off her shirt to reveal a little blue bra with a bow in the middle and a lace top. Yep. Nope, no.

Her brain short circuits and her hands automatically bawl up. She swears Lapis had winked at her, and by swear she means she was swearing under her breath.

“Fuuuuck meee,” she whispered in one painful gulp.

“Cannonball!” Amethyst balled herself up and rushed into the small pool.

Peridot thinks maybe she should stop them, but first she would have to gather her senses.

Someone taps her on the shoulder, she jumps, Lapis tilts her head at her.

“You should come in.” She says, lips parted slightly and hair messy, _don’t stare you useless lesbian_ , Peridot chides herself.

Peridot just shakes her head, “I’m not great with...water.” She finishes in a slurred stutter.

Lapis shrugs, “it could be fun...and like, you know _normal_.” The last part Lapis says with eyes trained on the ground and fingers twitching.

She seemed to want things to be normal between them.

Peridot flashes a creaking smile. “Of course, things are normal," lies, "but...I’ll just watch for now.”

“Suit yourself.” Lapis turns around and slips into the water like a seal: slick and head first with her hands above her head.

Peridot’s mouth quirks to the side, she had never seen anything so natural.

Amethyst and Lapis start playing ‘dunk the other one into the water and watch them struggle,’ and Peridot situates herself on the side of the pool, kicking up water as they played (‘played’).

“If any of you dies...” She mutters to herself as they pull each other under. "I swear..."

“What’d you say?” Amethyst calls to her.

“No one drown! I’ve played sims and I don’t want to be haunted by any soggy ghost.” She crosses her arms across her chest.

They seem to both roll their eyes in amusement.

“I think we’re more in danger of Amethyst puking.” Lapis pokes the latina girls side, she swats her hand away.

“I told you I’m A-okay.” Peridot raises an eyebrow.

“You ate like 2 and half lobsters.” Lapis points out handily.

Amethyst tilts herself backwards and floats with her stomach to the sky, “totally worth it.”

“Even if…”

“Dude, honestly, the whole point of this trip was seafood and maybe skinny dipping in a motel pool.”

“ _Do not skinny dip_.” Peridot says it out loud this time, but they ignore her.

Lapis laughs, “I was hoping the point was just to run out of gas and lose my wallet. You know, suffering things to remind me why going to work is fun.”

Amethyst frowns, “yeah...my bad.”

“No,” Peridot leans forward, “those were fine.” She tries to reassure frantically. Amethyst was her friend, and too young to look that forlorn.

"I was just kidding." Lapis back tracks. "Stuff like that happens."

Amethyst shrugs, “shit happens. You right.”

They swim around some more in lazy circles, Amethyst talks about a women she met at a bar she snuck into.

Lapis, for once, reprimands her.

“Dude, you don’t want to grow up quick. Getting old sucks.”

“A really good band was playing.” Amethyst defends, “I had to go, it was a gay bar too so it was safe.”

Peridot and Lapis exchange a look, no it wasn't, “you should invite us next time.” They say slowly, silently agreeing they could watch her that way.

“Sure. But you can’t get in the way of my ‘game.” She says forcefully.

Lapis pushes her, “you’re game? You mean little league?”

Amethyst turns around in midwater to push on her and they tussle in the pool like kids, Peridot looks away and watches the people in their motel rooms come and go. Lights flicker on and off as couples leave and people turn in for the night. It was surreal in a pleasant way.

“Can’t believe I took you on this trip,” Amethyst mutters to Lapis as she threads her fingers through her hair, “I might not even tell you my _thing_.”

Peridot watched as Lapis perks up, “your thing?”

"Is it that you’re getting sick?” Peridot called out to them in the middle of the water as Amethyst looked a little green in the face.

“What thing?” Lapis pushes.

Amethyst motions for her to lean in, Lapis floats closer to her so she can whisper in her ear. Peridot’s gut does funny things, her curiosity burning a little too.

It, of course, appeared to be a joke and Lapis laughs and punches Amethyst’s shoulder, “you’re so gross.”

Amethyst nods, “speaking of which, I’ll be right back.” She paddles to the side of the water and swings her leg up, they watch her carefully.

“I told you not to eat three lobsters.”

“Two and half and--ip.” She puts a hand over her mouth, “I’ll be right back.” She reiterates and scurries over the fence and up some stairs to their room.

Peridot watches with bemusement before turning back to the vivid white lights of the pool and Lapis. And Lapis.

It was just her and the other girl. A first in at least 38 hours.

She blinks at her and kicks the water dully.

Lapis treads water for several long moments, examining her like an abstract art display. She swims up in one deliberate breast stroke.

“Are you really going to leave me all alone in here?”

Peridot watches her, her skin glowed silver and white in the eery blue tones of the pool and her short hair floated around her face, clinging to it and framing her eyes.

Peridot meets her gaze. Her eyes flash in the face of the darker night, grey like storm clouds. The ones storm chasers drive directly into in weighted jeeps and with hand-held camcorders just to get a glimpse of the grey thunder and trembling rain.

Peridot kicks the water once more.

“What if I don’t wanna?” She expresses childishly.

“I’m very persuasive.” Lapis gives her a cheeky grin.

Peridot looks away, “the point being?”

Lapis swims all the way up and rests her arms and head on the side of the pool, “for fun dummy. Normal fun.”

Normal fun. Right.

Peridot heaves a sigh and then gets back up. She takes her shorts off, “this is only happening since it’s finally warm enough to just maybe enjoy it.” She says in one garbled sentence.

“Yay!” Lapis cheers and throws her arms in the air.

“I’m keeping my shirt on though.”

“That’s fine.” Lapis says and moves to the side. Peridot takes off her glasses and places them on the concrete, making a note of not to freaking step on them on her way out.

She thinks about her striped underwear and dry hair for a moment before walking directly into the water, she immediately regrets submerging herself all at once.

The water is cool and prickled against her skin, shocking her system by the sudden nipping sensations.

“Huh,” She gives a subtle gasp and Lapis snickers at her. She looks up blandly at her, “you know I don’t usually practice breaking and entering to swim around in my underwear.”

Lapis swims backwards in a circle, “I know. Amethyst is _such_ a bad influence.” She shakes her head.

Peridot doggy-paddles up to her, trying to keep pace with Lapis's long strokes.

"Right." She murmurs.

“Dude.” Lapis stops mid-stroke, “do you not know how to swim?”

“Of course I know how to swim, that’s what I’m doing right now.” She gestures at her kicking hands and feet.

“I mean there is ‘swimming’ and then there’s _swimming_.”

Peridot gives her a flat look, “and then there is, what swimming?” She contributes putting a new tone on the word.

Lapis lightly taps her shoulder lightly, “now you're getting it.”

“Okay. What do you call swimming?”

“We should start with floating. Floating is good.” She says like a swim instructor with very young kids.

Peridot feels her lips forming a pout, “don’t need to…I swim fine.” She mutters.

Lapis grabs her wrist, “lean back, I’ll support your back just in case.” Peridot gives a put-upon sigh but eases herself onto her back, “take a deep breath and spread your arms and legs out.”

Peridot follows her orders and then...immediately feels her body sinking.

Lapis snickers at her, she treads water in frustration.

“This is dumb!”

“Try again.”

Lapis patiently holds her up as she trains her in the way of literally just floating. It turned out that Peridot was naturally un-buoyant.

“I’m like the titanic.” Peridot complains flatly, “destined to go down.”

Lapis smiles at her as she looks on from above, fingers lightly ghosting over her skin, “well, think of me as the reverse iceberg then. A sun-berg.”

Peridot struggles to flip over, “I’m sorry. I have to go, right now.”

“Come on,” Lapis turns her back over, “the sun-berg doesn’t have all day. Gotta save Rose from letting go.”

“There was so much room on that door.” Peridot thinks out loud.

“ _So much_.” Lapis confirms with a laugh.

"She could have just scooted over."

They laugh and Peridot feels a little closer to her.

“Hey,” she finally gets up the nerve to say before biting her lip, “we’re...good, right?”

A beat passes between them, like a held breath or a light snowfall.

“Is this about the wallet again?” Lapis eyes her, Peridot frowns, _no, it’s not about the wallet_.

“Sort of.” She rubs the back of her neck while trying to keep afloat.

“This is about...the other thing,” Lapis looks uncomfortable but then she shrugs, “I don’t know what to say.”

Peridot wants to shout, she pulls at her hair.

“What does that mean?”

“It was an impulse.” Lapis is focusing her storm cloud eyes on the space above Peridot’s head, like God himself was speaking to her from on high.

Peridot frowns, “what kind of impulse?”

“What do you want from me Peridot?” She asks in a small voice, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

Peridot is practically shaking, she wanted to her to kiss her, she wanted her to leave. She wanted a lot of things.

“I just...am confused.”

Lapis reaches for hand and laces their fingers together, Peridot’s hand feels clammy somehow, “let’s...be ourselves. We like spending time together, we shouldn’t over think it.”

Peridot exhales in exasperation, “I’m not sure if you’ve met me.”

“Right. Big brain over thinker.” She pokes in the temple.

“Right. And,” she holds her breath, “what if...there’s more?”

“More what?”

“If we wanted more.” Peridot’s face is flushing like a May-day parade and her heart is beating like a trapped bird in her rib cage.

“Oh.” Lapis’s eyes go wide with realization, “oh.” She lets their hands go and she back peddles in the water. “Do you…?”

Peridot nods quickly but didn’t know where to go from there. Where was there to go from there? Asking her point blank ' _make out with me'_ was not romantic.

“Just to see if, you know, there is more.”

"Maybe..." Lapis touched her hair self-consciously, “you want to have a breath holding contest?” She asks suddenly.

Peridot tilts her head, “uh, what?”

“Well you’re not very good at floating, so I’m sure you’re good at sinking.”

Peridot scowls and hardens her eyes, “that sounds like a challenge.” And a way to change the subject.

She swims up to her, “we can sink to the bottom and whoever can stay there the longest wins.”

“Wins what?”

“Wins.” She gives her a wink, Peridot’s heart speeds up.

“Deal.” She was good at sinking it seemed. And she can let the other subject go if Lapis wanted to.

“1,”

“2,” She finishes.

They both go down before three.

Peridot forces her body to curl up and descend to the floor of the pool, it’s quiet and still in the dark of her eyes squeezed shut.

She slowly opens them as she waits. The chlorine stings, combined with lack of glasses the world is a blur around her, Lapis a blue blob that meant nothing.

She can feel Lapis staring at her though, and thinking.

Peridot reaches towards her, yanking on her shoulder, Lapis pushes on her and Peridot tries to indicate that she is going to win.

Lapis flips her off.

Peridot is determined to hold her breath until she passes out or wins. That is until she spotted a piece of trash. It was plastic and long and thin,

“Condom?” She almost screamed though it came out as a more of a ‘con-om’ blub of noise. She careens back and away from it into Lapis who grabs onto her and laughs.

Lapis holds her across the waist as she shakes with laughter, Peridot growls at her noiselessly. Lapis is forced to surface as she giggles.

Peridot follows slowly behind. She takes a deep breath.

“There is a condom!” She exclaims, fully disgusted.

“It’s a piece of trash knuckle-head.” She picks up a sliver of material, Peridot inspects it a little more closely but avoids touching the thing, “you don’t even have glasses on.”

“Yeah. Yeah. It’s still a motel pool, you never know.”

"Oh come on." Peridot pokes it, "you should have seen your face though." She giggles and Peridot looks at the sky.

"It looked like a condom."

Lapis pats her shoulder, “in any case that did make you win. Even though it was obviously my game to take.”

Peridot smirks. “And what would have you have asked for if you won?”

Lapis blushes, a pretty red across her dark skin, “better paternal care for our daughter. Dott is having behavioral problems.”

Peridot shakes her head, “alright, alright, sure." She looks around, "Let’s go back though. We should check on Amethyst.”

Lapis reaches out, grabbing her wrist, fingers clasping on a little too tightly. “What would you ask for?”

The words choke in Peridot’s throat, Lapis's eyes fall on hers, something passes between them.

“To find out.” She turns fully around, “if you want to find out that is.” If there’s something here.

Lapis haltingly brings her face forward, Peridot watches her lips intently, closely, like a bird of prey following a rabbit. Lapis inches closer second by second in a incremental dance of crooked movement.

She freezes right in front of her, breath tickling her cheeks and eyes clouded with uncertainty.

Peridot closes the gap between them. She presses their lips together and Lapis gives a slight gasp into her mouth.

Peridot almost pulls back but Lapis wraps her long arms around her neck and she is pulling her in.

They are on each other faster than a sinner can say the word ‘lust?’ In question marks.

Lapis is soft and tastes like unnatural pool water and thunder. She is desperate and pushes Peridot all the way back to the wall.

Hands over her hands and body sliding against hers.

“Let’s get this off.” Lapis kisses her neck and jawline before wrenching off her sopping wet T-shirt, she proceeds to throw it to the side like she’s angry at the piece of material.

Peridot can only blink.

She traps her in another breath-taking kiss and her back aches against the concrete wall, Lapis’s body pinning her there. Peridot moans when their breasts overlap just as Lapis tugs at her hair.

It was everything she wanted and more.

Lapis’s diligent fingers dug into her shoulder blades and makes heat curl in Peridot’s gut. The kiss broke and Peridot was kissing her cheek, gentle this time, too sweet.

Lapis panted and placed a hand on Peridot’s waist.

“I like you,” she huffs like she ran a marathon.

Peridot grins shyly, “you’re just saying that.”

“Yeah,” she wraps her arms around her neck again, “maybe.”

They embrace and it’s hot like Peridot imagined making-out should feel like. Slick and almost angry, her hands wonder to Lapis’s lower body, she is silky and smooth, yet in the ways her hips jut and bones cluster under her skin like jagged rocks, it's hard.

They kiss, Peridot traces the inside of her mouth and runs her hands over her spine, Lapis pushes her against the wall and hungrily eats her mouth.

She tries to reach as much of Lapis as she possibly can, chest heaving and Peridot practically coming apart at the seams. Her heart is racing and she doesn’t want it to end.

This was normal, people made out all the time, even if they didn’t know how they felt or what it meant. It was normal.

Though her insides melting and her erratic thoughts were not so much.

Her eyes drag to Lapis’s eyelashes, how they fluttered up and down and had drops of water clinging to the ends. How her cheeks puffed out and the slim length of neck and shoulders a mile long, all just _her_.

She pauses as she just took a moment to stare.

“Too much for you?” Lapis asks playfully.

Peridot just shakes her head, “not enough.”

She goes in for another sugar-sweet kiss mixed with what could only be germ-infested waters. She didn’t care.

“What are you two doing?” An angry voice is yelling them from one of the motel balconies. “The pool is closed.”

Peridot and Lapis exchange one hot look.

“I’m coming down there!” The voice yells and Peridot and Lapis disentangle their limbs.

“That’s our cue.” Lapis jumps out and tries to collect her clothing in a hurry.

Peridot only stares a little bit too long at her thighs with the just the right dimples and curving waist that made her want to hold on, she imagines kissing her again. And again.

“Peridot, what are you doing? We got to go.”

Peridot jams her glasses back onto her face and they race off the pool premises.

A man in a motel employee shirt speed walks towards them but they hide behind an ice machine.

Lapis is giggling the whole time and Peridot has to put a hand over her mouth.

“Shh,” he walks past them, and Lapis is still shaking.

“What are--” Lapis kisses her mouth, chaste and petite, then kisses her nose, and then she draws back, face alive and smile cracking her cheeks in half.

Peridot can’t feel her toes.

“I like you too.” Peridot says back like it just occurred to her.

Lapis shakes her head, “you’re just saying that.”

Peridot watches her storm-chaser eyes and only smiles a small smile in reply. She guides Lapis back to the room (where Amethyst is recovering).

She tells herself she’ll see where they go from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thanks for reading and any kudos, and please tell me what you think!


	16. Blow them all Away

Lapis’s mind was buzzing, like a thousand gnats in a metal cage or a swarm of bats in a feeding frenzy. Her limbs tingled and her lips felt phantom touches on them, like they were numb and full and _sparked_.

Lapis was feeling emotions again.

She clenches the blankets in her fists and pulls the sheets up, she tosses and turns back and forth before settling uncomfortably down.

She glances at Peridot, watching her back fall and rise in a steady rhythm, she was sleeping after all that. After they kissed.

Her hair was flattened to the side of pillow, still a little damp and she was curled into herself on the otherside of the King sized mattress.

Lapis bit her lip and felt an overwhelming sensation that might have been known as ‘fondness.’

 

Lapis and Peridot. Peridot and Lapis. There was a nice ring to it. Sweet, breathless and a ghost of fingers haunted her body, like it was the first time, like maybe, maybe she shouldn’t be pushing away.

Maybe she should let it happen.

 

Lapis shakes and then flings the blankets off quietly and scrambles to the bathroom. Shower, showers always helped.

 

Lapis opens the door to the bathroom hastily, caught up in her own thoughts, only to find Amethyst looking moresly into the mirror.

Oh yeah.

 

“Oh,” Lapis blinks at her, Amethyst turns to her slowly.

 

“Hey.”

 

“How are you feeling?” She ventures and Amethyst stands in front of the mirror, she was very pale.

 

“I ate way too much.” She says with a light grin. “But feeling better, I even was sleeping before Peridot kicked me in the gut in her sleep.”

 

Lapis chuckles weakly, “she’s a live wire.”

 

Amethyst frowns at her, “you guys make up?”

 

Lapis gives a strained smile, “something like that. Yeah.”

 

“Thank God,” Amethyst as she washes her mouth out, “I thought you would be hung up on her for forever.”

“Hey!”

She chuckles, “just saying.”

 

“Well, thanks, I guess for being a busy body and intervening.”

 

“No problem!” She crows, “I’ll show you the light any time.”

 

“Yeah...me and Peridot.” She reaches across her body self-consciously, “what are you doing in here anyway? Were you…” she looks closely, “upset?”

 

Amethyst sighs deeply and rubs her face, “nah...Just bummed this trip is coming to an end.” She kept her back to her and looked down at the sink.

 

“Well, we can always have another one too,” Lapis consoles, “keep our spirits up from the soul-suck that is retail.”

 

Amethyst furrows her brow together, she looks even more upset. “Right. Work.” Lapis was getting worried now.

 

“You sure you're okay?”

 

“Yeah,” She turns to her, “I just don’t like when stuff ends.” She slaps her on the back cheerily, “let’s go back to sleep.”

 

Lapis follows her back to bed in a haze and tries to put it all together in her head, Amethyst, Peridot, kissing, cry sessions, vacation.

 

For once, even with the buzz, she falls asleep.

 

******

They spent the next two days sightseeing and taking bike tours and beach picnics. It was a real vacation, with jokes and trying to ignore sexual tension and some weird forlorn in the air.

It was over far too soon, Lapis soon finds in shotgun in the car on their way to their city. It was too quick, she hadn’t even told a certain someone had she felt, she hadn’t cracked Amethyst.

She was just Lapis, both helpless and unhelpful.

 

They left late and Lapis watched as the thick trees and mills passed them as the stars came out, large trucks whoosh by them and the rumble of a hard-working engines shakes her seat.

Peridot snored softly from the back of the car.

 

Lapis snorts, “I can’t believe she’s asleep.” She comments. "It's barely dark out."

Amethyst keeps her eyes on the road. “She sleeps more than I’ve seen one singular person.”

 

Lapis smiles, “she’s an overworked assistant, what can you do?”

 

“I think you should be every ones role model Lapis. No sleep: go big or go home.”

 

Lapis elbows her, “as role models go I think you should stick with Beyonce.”

 

“She is really more of a _religion_.” She says without missing a beat.

 

Lapis is laughing, “Amethyst, you are great.”

 

Amethyst’s hands clutched at the wheel and her face scrunched up. "I know." It didn't sound happy.

 

Lapis tilts her head at her, “what?”

 

Amethyst sighs deeply, “I've been meaning to say...there’s another reason I took you on this trip to be honest."

 

Lapis’s eyebrows rose, “was it to set me and Peridot up?”

 

Amethyst jerks her head towards her, “whaaa? No, I mean,” her face lights up and she sprouts a wide smile, “did you?”

 

Lapis shifts in her seat, moving her weight from side to side as her face flushed, “I mean we sort of… hooked up.” She had to tell someone.

Lapis glances to the back to make sure Peridot was still asleep, her chest rises and falls steadily as she drooled a little, Lapis wanted to pinch her cheek.

 

“Ah!” Amethyst practically screamed, “damn Lapis.”

She bites her lip, “yeah.”

“ _damn Lapis._ ”

“It was a thing.”  
  
“How far?” She leaned in to the get the details, “when?”

 

“Just, you know, some make outs, and in the pool.”

 

“The night I got sick? Seriously?” She snorts, “can’t leave you kids alone for a second.” Amethyst turns on her headlights as the sky descends into complete darkness.

 

“How was it?” Amethyst whispers with her ever curious smile. “Was Peridot terrible with her enthusiasm? Did she lecture?"

 

“No!” Lapis defends, almost insulted, “no.” She says more evenly, “it was,” she fiddles with her hands, “really great.”

  
“Lapis. I could seriously scream.”

 

“Don’t. She can’t hear any of this.”  
  
“You guys are so cute.”  
  
“Anyway, Amey, we made out and it was so good, ugh, with her little hands and waist and wet cat look as she put her arms around my neck..." She pauses to gather herself, "anyway, I’m so in over my head.” She gushed, letting the build of the words spill out.

“You guys are going to make the cutest couple. What with your tragic face and her goofy grin.”

 

“Tragic face?”

 

Amethyst shakes her head, “a real travesty.”

 

“Uh,” she gasps and swats her.

 

“Don’t worry. Peridot I'm sure likes it.”  
  
Lapis glances back at her, “you think so?”

 

“Oh my God, you have it so bad.” She practically squealed.

 

“We aren’t a couple though,” Lapis sighs, “we’re both too self-conscious cowards for that.”

 

Amethyst speeds up as the highway widens, “at least you know it.”

 

“What if goes wrong? What if I mess it up? I’ve done that before.” She laments thinking of a certain body-builder.

 

Amethyst’s face goes very still, “I guess we’ll both have to be brave.”

 

Lapis examines her face, “both?”

 

“I mean..." She trails off, obviously playing with something in her head, "Tell me how in love you are with that little blonde dork.”

 

“ _Love._ ” Lapis reels back and clutches at her chest. "I don't know about...Love." She whispers.

 

“Three weeks. That’s how long I give it.” Amethyst says shortly.

 

Lapis gives her a sideways grin, “please you are such a romantic. You’d marry a girl in like two.”

 

“Maybe bed her, but I am not the marrying type.”

 

“Sure you are!” Lapis crows. “Now tell me what you have to be brave about, does it have to do with that time in the bathroom?” She ventures.

 

Amethyst looks out the window. “Well,” she starts.

 

“Come on,” Lapis tries to jostle her, “I showed you mine, show me yours.”

 

“We took this vacation for like...another reason.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Lapis says, her interest peaked, “besides hooking me up with Peridot.”

 

“That was more of a unintended consequence.” Amethyst clarifies, Lapis laughs a little.

 

“You have to tell me.”

 

Amethyst takes a deep breath, “I got into Mid Range College.”

 

Lapis’s eyes go wide, she blinks, once, twice, she grabs Amethyst shoulder and shakes it, “GET. OUT.” She almost yells, Peridot luckily doesn't wake up.

 

Amethyst just gives a weak nod.

 

“Amethyst, Amethyst.” She continues to shake her, waiting for her to meet her eyes, “that is so rad.”

 

Amethyst sighs again, “I guess.”

 

“So?”

 

“So.” She grips the wheel again and hunches her shoulder, “so I wanted to spend some time with people...before I…” She mumbles something and Lapis has to lean in.

 

“What was that?”

 

“I gotta…”

 

“Amethyst.” She scolds.

 

“I’m quitting.” She says clearly, “I gotta live near campus. With my sister.”

 

Lapis smiles again, though this time it’s a little strained, “that’s great.”

 

Amethyst pouts, “no it’s not! I,” her shoulders slump. “I won’t see anyone anymore. I won't see you anymore.” She says in a small voice. "I'll be all like, alone."

 

“Oh, Amey.” She tries to comfort, wanting to hug her as her eyes go soft.

 

“I won’t see anyone, and,” her voice cracks, “I think I might be...scared?” It was a question, the street lights of a long winding road turn on.

 

“You won’t be alone.” Lapis really wants to hug her now. “And we can always take more vacations.” She tries to smile.

 

“You’ll be on the other side of town, plus, you know. I’m, I’m,” her voice goes thick.

 

“You don’t need to be afraid.”

 

“ _What if I fail out Lapis?_ ” Her eyes were definitely misting over now, tear drops falling out unevenly. “I’ve never been good at school, never. All I did was screw around and back talk back to my professors.”

 

“Listen, Amethyst, listen.”

 

“No, Lapis, you don’t understand. My mama.”

 

“Your mom is so proud Amethyst, that you are trying this,” Lapis says firmly as she tries her best.

 

Amethyst’s starts almost hyperventilating. “Pull over.” Lapis instructs. "Amey, you're going to be okay."

 

“I met this women at a bar.” Amethyst says as she slows down, “she said college wasn’t for everyone.”

 

“Who cares?”

“She was hot.”  
  
“What? How were you even in a bar?”

 

“I snuck in. She had pink hair.” She seemed lost in thought.

 

“Don’t listen to her.”

 

“She said my mom would be proud. I told her how my sisters baked me a cake. And,” Amethyst skids to a halt and parks the car. “You’re in love and I’m going to college.”

 

“So?”

 

“Everything is changing.” She sniffs, eyes still heavy with moisture.

 

Lapis hugs her, hugs her tight. “You’re going to do great.” She rubs her back and lets her cry.

 

“My mama was so proud. So proud. She gave a small smile, she’s the reason I'm doing it,”

 

“Reason?”

 

She wipes her nose, “Reason I’m going to do this, yeah.”

 

Lapis hugs her tighter, “you are going to do this.”  
  
“I am!” She shouts.

“You are going to do this!” They pump each other up and hit the air with their fists.

“And you are going to tell Peridot how you feel!”

 

“I am…?” Lapis knits her eyebrows together and pulls back. "Uh." She scratches her head.

 

“What are you two idiots doing?” Peridot rubs her eyes as she wakes up and leans forward into the front seat.

 

“Amethyst is going to college!” Lapis cheers and claps her hands together, turning away from Amethyst.

 

Peridot breaks into another endearing smile and Lapis has to look away.

 

“Way to go! Why didn’t you tell us?” Peridot gives her a thumbs up, “are you crying?” Her face falls.

 

“I’m happy.” Amethyst clarifies and wipes her face, “and I gotta leave good old Lapis here, so I was saving that info until now.”

 

Peridot nods, “okay."

 

“It’s why I took you two on this trip, besides,” Amethyst bounces her eyebrows up and down, “getting you two to _mash it up_.”

 

Peridot freezes, she turns to Lapis in horror, “you told her.”

 

Lapis puts her face in her hands, “I had to tell someone.”

 

Peridot was blushing furiously, “it was bound to happen. It was inevitable with our close proximity.” She says haltingly, logically.

 

“Oh yeah,” Amethyst says in a suggestive tone.

 

Lapis pushes on Amethyst’s face, “watch it college girl.”

 

She laughs and Peridot and Lapis don’t make eye contact.

 

“Let’s get home.” Peridot leans back and instructs them to keep driving.

 

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” Amethyst sings, “sitting in a tree.”

 

“Drive.” Peridot says dryly.

 

Amethyst keeps her eyes on the road and hits the gas.

 

Lapis places her hand on her shoulder, “and Amethyst,” she looks at her young friend softly.

“Yeah?”

  
“You’re going to blow them all away.”

She watches the road and bows her head, "thanks."

Peridot stretches out and asks questions from the back seat, Lapis watches her mouth move and listens to her light laugh, somehow moving from 'obnoxious' to 'charming' and Lapis doesn't know where to go from there.

She watches as the road passes by and her own heart pulses, her eyes trail over the sky and she knows it was all different now.


	17. Yelling Outloud

“Why do you dye your hair anyway?” Lapis asks slowly as she threads her fingers through Peridot’s short locks.

Peridot shrugs. “I like blondes.” She said simply.

“Of course you do.” She ruffles her hair up almost fondly, "Marilyn Monroe was smoking."

"Yes, yes, gay." Lapis giggles and sumberges her fingers all the way in Peridot's hair, Peridot swats at her hand, “are you going to help me retouch my roots or what?” She asks pointedly.

Lapis nods shortly, “it doesn’t help that you’ve been doing it wrong all these years.”

Peridot huffs with indignation, “and what? You went to beauty school?” Peridot briefly thinks of Greece and Lapis dressed up in 50s garb. She shakes the thought out of her head like a gnat on her forhead.

Lapis fluffs her own hair, “nah son, I’ve just been rocking blue since I was 15. You pick up a thing or two when dying your hair this way every other month.”

Peridot can’t help but grow a little smile. Just a little one.

“Well, continue on then. I won’t bite.”

“No fun then!” Lapis pretend-pouts.

Peridot shakes her head, “I will hold you accountable though. I have to go to work like this.”

Lapis runs a thin comb through Peridot’s hair and then separated it into different parts with clips.

“How’s work anyway?” She asks as she concentrates on Peridot’s head.

Peridot leans back on Lapis’s knees, feeling somewhat comfortable with someone lavishing attention just on her. Or her head at least.

“Hmm,” she hums in response. "You know."

“You have spent a lot of time over here, are they running you ragged or are you just skipping?” She comments wryly.

 _I've been over here because I like you._ That was a hard thought to swallow.

The trip ended around a week ago, and Lapis and Peridot had been spending a lot more time in in each others company.

“Mostly the first one, though I have been getting in late pretty consistently.” She grumbles and then side eyes Lapis. “And I thought I’d take advantage of us making up.” Peridot glances up at Lapis to gauge her reaction.

Her face tints slightly red, “keep your head straight.” She instructs before jolting her neck forward.

“Yes ma'am.” She breaths.

“Ooh, _ma’am_ , dang, should I get shoulder pads and start ordering you around?”

Peridot heaves a sigh, “please don’t...I’m not how much more of this I can handle.” An edge of tiredness creeps into her voice.

Lapis hums and Peridot hears the sound of gloves slapping over Lapis’s skin.

“What are you doing back there?” Peridot asks as she hears the clinking of a bowl.

Lapis puffs air out her nose, “mixing the dye.” She glances back again, Lapis has a whisk in hand and bowl of yellow mush.

Peridot just shakes her head, “I think I really prefer the store bought stuff.”

“No,” Lapis sounds personally offended, “oh my God, _no_.” Lapis picks up a bottle of some liquid. “Store stuff bought is awful, hair is sacred. It drives the economy, makes empires rise and fall, stirs the hopes of man, HAIR.”

Peridot is laughing, “sure Lapis.”

“You’re laughing.”

“You’re kind of cute.” She says to herself so Lapis doesn’t hear.

“Now, hold still, I’m going to put the vaseline around your hairline.”

Peridot falls into a drowsy trance as Lapis’s diligent fingers work around her hairline, massaging the skin and feeling so close Peridot could feel the heat radiating off her chest as she leaned over her.

Peridot smiles to herself.

Lapis continues to take a special brush and swab blonde hair dye over her roots, she goes meticulously through each layer and tells Peridot what she’s doing at each stage.

Lapis brushes the color on and then combs it, and then brushes it over again, careful and steady Peridot’s muscles unwind and lets herself relax under Lapis.

She applies a final layer of gloss and liberally blankets it over in Peridot’s short hair.

“Tad-da,” She presents Peridot to the mirror with fully colored roots.

Peridot grins, “okay...You know your stuff.”

Lapis snorts, “told you so. Now you just gotta wait, like,” she glances at her clock, “30 minutes.”

Peridot nods, “I’ll be late for work, but…” She glances at herself in the mirror. “I really don’t care.”

“That’s my girl!” Lapis crows and pumps her arms in the air.

They sit down and turn on the TV, waiting for anything interesting to come on. They watch 13 Going on 30 for the third time.

“She’s too good for him.” Peridot comments.

“I mean, at least it isn’t gross husband with pretty wife.” Lapis comments as she eats leftover chinese food.

“It’s a chick flick...They wouldn’t do that.” Peridot watches her eat reproachfully, “You know, you should let me bring some food over...I can _actually_ cook.”

“Cook for me.” Lapis repeats the words as her eyes go wide, she starts fanning herself, “oh my, little old me? Why I never.” She dons a southern bell accent, “what will mama say?”

“She’ll say you can’t eat shit take out food every night...and every morning.”

Lapis frowns, “this is grade A take out food thank you very much.”

Peridot snickers, “is that so?” She flops down next to Lapis on her chair and scoots close to her, “MSG, bad fried rice, soggy noodles.” She lists off the food while gesturing dramatically, “it’s a mess.”

“ _I’m_ a mess.” Lapis laughs.

Peridot looks down at her hands and fiddles with them, she wants to say ‘you’re not a mess.’ But instead she opts for, “you are what you eat I guess.”

Lapis quirks a half-way grin at her, “and you’re gonna cook for me?”

“Sure.” Peridot nods, she _was_ a capable young adult.

“Isn’t it a bit early to move in with me? My apartment is kind of terror storm of bad architectural decisions.”

Peridot flushes, “I wouldn’t move in!”

Lapis bites her lip and pushes on Peridot’s shoulder, “just kidding. Pal.”

Peridot nods, I tension stretches between them, “I just think, uh, I,” her brain is going somewhat blank, “it makes sense.”

Lapis is smiling, something knowing and shy about it, “sure.”

“And it won’t be fancy, maybe salad and curry.”

Lapis lights up, “really?”

“Really.”

“Salad sounds excessive.” She teases, learing over Peridot like she might tickle her again, Peridot scoots away, separating their hips. "I'm not sure my body could tolerate it."

"Better lear-"

A timer goes off like a school bell, Peridot sits straighter and then hunches over, “I suppose that’s my cue.”

“Curry, curry, curry.” Lapis is singing to herself, “I could get into that.”

Peridot goes to grab her jacket, “wish me luck at my failing company.”

Lapis stretches and meanders over to Peridot, “is it really failing?”

Peridot nods, “like the Titanic.”

“You should jump ship.”

Peridot looks at her feet, “I couldn’t.”

“Sure you could.”

“Yeah and have my next job background check could start with ‘she was a no good dirty little rat who quits without warning.”

Lapis puts her hand on Peridot’s shoulder, almost in a comforting way, “no good dirty little rat, _extraordinaire_.”

“Ugh.”

“Just imagine her face though. If you quit.” Lapis makes a dramatically offended look.

Peridot shivers and picks up her thin purse strap, “I couldn't handle it." She frowns, "gotta go.” She troops out the door, Lapis walks her out of the building. They troup down the creaking metal stairs and making out into the warming spring air.

“And Peridot.” Lapis says as she leans on the apartment building’s front door.

“Yeah?” Peridot says, checking her watch as she goes.

“There is sort of this diner,” Lapis scratches the back of her neck. “I’m visiting a friend there. If you want to come. Later tonight.” She says haltingly.

Peridot is distractedly looking at her path to work, she’d have to sprint, “I get off late tonight.”

“It’s a 24 hour diner.” Lapis clarifies.

Peridot flashes her a smile, “I suppose I could drop by.”

Lapis seems to stand up straighter, “I’ll text you!” Lapis calls after her as Peridot has to start running. She doesn't dwell on it.

Peridot hauls ass down the streets of Midlands, her heels in her hands and sweating through her dress shirt.

She’s ten minutes late when she drops off her running shoes with Kiki at the front desk and jogs in her heels to her own desk outside of Ms. Diamonds office.

She is panting when she looks over her morning spreadsheets. Ms. Diamond somehow wasn’t there yet, but she had missed a phone call that said ‘go look over my briefings for the day if you bother showing up _.'_ She still resented her taking a weeks long vacation.

Peridot clinches the bridge of her nose, breaths in several times.

She sneaks into Ms. Diamonds office, the women wasn’t there but her presence lingered like an angry force of nature that made Peridot pad carefully across the floor.

She looks over the charts and debriefings from the numbers from that quarter: their stock was down in almost all branches of the company. Shit.

Peridot was jotting down notes when she notices a paper highlighted in red.

It said CONFIDENTIAL in big black letters on an envelope.

It was from the company’s vice President (a shrill, smug women who Peridot _hated_ ).

“From The Canary, huh.” The Canary's actual name was Limona Pearl, but everyone just called her The Canary, due to her being annoying and good at sensing trouble. There was a lot of trouble.

She had also been Ms. Diamonds personal assistant before Peridot, the rumor was she blackmailed Ms. Diamond into letting her be vice President. Peridot didn’t doubt it.

Peridot slips out the pieces of paper and examines them.

They were the exact same spreadsheet, except...worse.

Peridot’s eyes go wide. These were the real numbers, the unofficial ones that they didn’t release to the public. Peridot gulped, the company was going under.

Peridot examines them carefully, thoroughly, pinpointing the problems in management and areas they needed to fix.

She bolts up from the chair and runs to her desk, brain spinning with what they would have to do.

She starts typing as fast as she can.

She called it ‘Operation Drill,’ drill to the real issues and then fix them. Maybe she’d even be promoted for this.

She works for hours, ignoring her other responsibilities and typing away like a madman.

She finishes by nightfall, Ms. Diamond still is not in yet.

She is completing the last summary of her proposal when she hears yelling from the main cubicles outside.

Peridot rushes out to see the commotion.

" _What are you wearing?_ ” It was Ms. Diamond, she was as tall and put-together as ever, but her face was red with fury and bags sat under her eyes like waiting rain clouds.

“Uh,” Peridot glances over, it was Jenny, “I just had...a long night and my business clothes weren’t,” the girl shrinks as Ms. Diamond glowers at her, “with me.”

“That is no excuse. This is a place of business.”

Jenny was wearing a short black skirt and low cut shirt, it wasn’t bad, but Ms. Diamond obviously didn’t find it good.

“It’s just...” She looks down at her feet. "A one time thing."

“Look around you, do you see anyone showing off their cleavage like a whore?” She barks and Jenny looks like she might cry, her usual bravado gone.

Peridot grits her teeth and she doesn’t know what to do, but she can feel her blood pressure rising.

“I’m sorry ma’am.”

“Sorry doesn’t change anything.” Ms. Diamond says dismissively. “You’re just a temp. You are fired.”

Jenny’s eyes go wide, “no, please, I can’t have that on my record. Please.” She pleaded.

“You should have thought of that sooner.” Ms. Diamond turns on her heels and leaves Jenny as a distraught wreck in the middle of the floor, Peridot goes to comfort her and then hesitates.

Everyone was eyeing her, Peridot starts to feel a bubbling, dark heat in her gut. Her heart beat like an angry motor and her muscles clenched. How dare she.

She follows Ms. Diamond into her office.

“Ah, Peridot,” she finally notices her. “Do you my debriefing.”

Peridot throws 'The Drill' report she wrote on Ms. Diamonds desk.

“I have some suggestions to make this company work again.” She says through clinched teeth.

Ms. Diamond eyes it like Peridot had just thrown a dead bird on her desk.

“Ms. Farid…” There is a warning in her voice.

“If we don’t do something now, this whole thing will collapse under you. Hundreds will lose their jobs, Ms. Diamond.” She tries to reason with her.

Ms. Diamond blinks slowly, and replies, “that’s business.”

Peridot’s eyes go wide, “you knew.”

“I have other assets Ms. Farid. Other interests.” She was going to let the whole company sink, she didn’t care.

“With all due respect,” she grunts, “that sounds completely and utterly idiotic.” Peridot was practically yelling.

A vein popped out in Ms. Diamonds neck, nose flaring.

“You are stepping out of line.”

“I always knew you were a bastard, but I at least respected you, thought you were smart and capable.” Peridot rants, _“I trusted you to not fuck us over._ ”

“Ms. Farid, please get to a point or leave immediately.”

“I quit!”

“No you don’t.” Ms. Diamond looks down at her papers in a bored fashion.

“You humiliated Jenny in the middle of the office.”

“Who?”

“You didn’t have to do that. Jenny is a good person.” Peridot is screaming, someone is knocking on the door from far away.

“Good people don’t embarrass the office like that.”

“Jenny...You’ll let everyone here lose their jobs.”

“They’ll be fine. Or not.” She shrugs. "It's there responsibility."

“You, you, you,” Ms. Diamond’s eyes were razor sharp at this point. “You huge clod! Jerk! _Asshole_ _!_ ”

“What did you say to me?” Her neck was straining, eyes wide, mouth fully extended downward like a down turned U, Ms. Diamond was pissed.

“I quit.” Peridot kicks off her heels and goes for the door.

“ _No you don’t.”_ It sounded like a threat, “you’re fired.”

“I’m filling out the paperwork. I quit. I quit. I quit.” She quits for the third time.

“You peon, you insolent brat, come back here.” Ms. Diamond leaps up from her chair, Peridot scurries away.

She is already gone, she collects her things as Ms. Diamond curses at her. With her ex-boss watching she yanks the vagina picture off the wall and carries it with her.

"That's company property!"

"Do you know how many secrets I know about this company?" That shuts her up.

Peridot fumes and walks out the door, company property in hand. She doesn’t look back.

She walks two blocks, three, and then collapses on a bench, her heart suddenly stops beating and her face goes pale, what had she done?

Bills, bills, bills, _her mom._

She picks up her phone and starts texting, her brain suddenly becomes a traffic jam of anxiety, 'i may have just really fucked up.' She writes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *does a little dance* character arcs, character arcs, fun times in writing
> 
> Limona is a type of yellow flower (Yellow Pearl's name)
> 
> Thank you all for reading and any kudos or comments, they really keep me motivated!


	18. Wait, If You are a Lesbian, and I'm a Lesbian, and This is a Date...

Lapis nervously tugged at her sleeves and looked from Sadie to the front door at least twenty times.

“She’s coming.” Sadie hisses at her, trying to reassure the other girl.

“She’s really upset!” Lapis pushes back. She shoves the phone into Sadie’s face, “look at this.” She wiggles the phone in Sadie’s face who swats it away.

“Then this will cheer her up.” She says reasonably.

“This will...” Lapis chews on her lip and fiddles with her sleeve again, who was she to cheer someone up?

“I know what you’re thinking,” Sadie puts her hands on her hips, “and she obviously likes spending time with you, so this will cheer her up. Simple logic.” She tutts at her.

“I guess…” Lapis flashes her a weak smile, “does my hair look okay?”

Sadie grins and ruffles Lapis’s hair, “it looks great.” They exchange a warm glance, “in fact you look pretty dolled up.” She observes with interest.

Lapis had on a white sundress under an actual cardigan, she even some makeup, hiding some of the worst of the dark indents under her eyes.

She shrugs, “it’s nothing.”

Sadie gives her a knowing look and claps her hands together, “this is so exciting!”

Lapis shakes her head, “it’s really nothing!”

“I get to be on your first date with this girl,” Sadie sings, and then pauses and sticks her finger in the air, “though if she messes with again and you end up at my bar, I’ll break her fingers.” There was heat under words and Lapis is giggling.

“Suuure,” Lapis glances at her phone to check if Peridot was answering, “besides, I’m sure I’ll be the one to fuck things up after this.”

Sadie gives her a exasperated grimace, “come on cynical sally, the whole point of relationships is to,” she glances around and says in a hush, “fuck up and then keep trying.”

That actually does cheer Lapis up, “yeah. Yeah, you’re right, and we have been trying.” She puffs out her chest, she was going to cheer Peridot Farid up.

“Oh!” She latches onto Sadie’s shoulder, “oh, there she is!” She shakes Sadie's arm roughly, and Sadie bobs her head up and down.

Peridot could be seen through the diner windows, a downtrodden young woman with a cigarette hanging limply in between her lips.

She was staring at the ground, eyes appeared empty and sucken in her head, she carried a large canvas for some reason and propped it up outside before putting out her cigarette.

Lapis looked around rapidly, “is this a weird place to invite someone?”

“What? No. I mean we get some dates, though most of them aren’t at,” Sadie glances at her watch, “nine at night...now let go, I’ll go greet her.”

“Okay, okay.” Lapis releases her vice grip on Sadie’s arm and flattens her skirt on her lap. A date. Was this really a date?

She puts her most pleasant-yet-coy-yet-sultry-yet-come-hither look on her face, mostly what she liked to call ‘Lapis relaxes the muscles around her mouth and tries to bat her eyes.’ ...It was a work in progress.

Peridot struggles in from the blustery wind outside and straightens her collar, Sadie waves at her immediately.

Lapis can’t hear them since she is at the other side of the diner in one of the least torn up booths (which is what Sadie said), but she watched them carefully.

Sadie seemed to be chatting at her amiably, while Peridot nodded along moresly, removing her coat robotically.

Lapis felt her chest jitter inside its cavity, her teeth on edge. What was she going to say?

She better figure that out soon as Peridot and Sadie made their way to her in a slow one-two and Lapis sits up the straightest she can.

“....And then she said ‘well if you want me to leave maybe you shouldn’t be open all the time’ and I said ‘that’s not the point’ and then she fell asleep on top of the corner table after throwing sugar everywhere. And that’s how I met Lapis!” Lapis groaned internally. She told her ‘The Story.’ Luckily it was hard to tell if Peridot was paying attention.

“Hi Peridot!” Lapis chirps at her and waves.

Peridot slips into the booth across from her without looking up.

“Oh, could you get us two coffees, or, um, whatever Peridot would like,” they both glance at Peridot, she doesn’t respond.

“Coming right up!” Sadie announces and Lapis turns back to Peridot.

“So how are….” _thunk_

Peridot threw her head on the table and let out a long groan.

Lapis waited patiently for the zombie noise to cease.

“ _Uggggghhhh_.”

“So. How’s it going?” Lapis finally gets in dryly.

Peridot props up her chin on the table and looks at her blankly, “great. Can’t you tell?”

Lapis snickered behind her hand and then kicks Peridot under the table, “What’s up?”

Peridot shakes her head listlessly, “you know that moment where you loose your footing on a staircase and you start sliding and then your skirt that your mom made you wear gets caught on the stair rails and then you fall flat on your face with your underwear, the old ones, faces a large group of onlookers?” Peridot groused.

Lapis nods, “naturally. Doesn’t everyone?”

“Well that actually happened to me my senior year of high school. And this was worse.”

“Did the same thing happen in the office, but this time you weren’t wearing underwear this time?”

Peridot laughs lightly and then kicks Lapis back under the table, “You wish.”

“No way! I would never, I’m too jealous.”

“Jealous?” Peridot perks up, lifting her head off the table for the first time.

Lapis puts up her hands defensively, “tell me what happened buddy, my imagination is just going worse and worse places with each passing moment. Unless you really did land a house on your boss and then fail to save Oz? Cause that’s rough Dorthy.”

Peridot exhales deeply and then turns back to the plastic of the table, mumbling into it, “Icllbbsss.” She murmurs indecipherably.

“What? I really can’t hear you.”

Peridot looks up tersely and then examines her, as if deciding whether to tell her or not, “I called my boss an asshole and quit.” She finally announces.

Lapis feels laughter bubbling up in her chest, “what?”

“It was part of a very stupid series of events, honestly I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“What?”

“I mean sure, she lost my respect, but did I really have to go off the handle? That’s the question.” She was looking at the window as she talked to herself.

“What?”

“Called her a clod...ugh, and then there’s the paperwork, and the threats.”

“Peridot, Peridot,” Lapis tries to interrupt her.

“Hmm?” She glances in her direction and Lapis thrusts out her hands across the table.

“I think you are my hero.”

Peridot quirks up an eyebrow.

“Really!” She’s laughing, “oh my God, you called your boss an asshole. My total hero.”

Peridot shakes her head ruefully, but a small smile is playing across her lips for the first time.

Sadie comes back with the thick dark coffee that Lapis liked.

Peridot glanced up sheepishly as Sadie held up her notepad to take their orders.

“Uh, what’s good here?” Peridot asks she seemed to come back to her senses.

Lapis glances up, “two of your lemon-cake batter pancakes.” Lapis orders and then eye’s pass over Peridot, “if that’s okay with you.”

Peridot nods earnestly, “yeah. Yeah, whatever you think is good.”

Lapis’s face heats up and Sadie looks between them, “okie dokie,” She says happily, “two specials coming right up.”

They watch the short girl retreat and Lapis turns back to Peridot, “so give this to me blow by blow, hero. I want the details of this awesome break with the devil.”

Peridot shakes her head again, “I literally just quit Lapis. I’m a jobless loser.”

“In your book! In my book your cool.” Lapis announces without thinking.

Peridot goes rouge in the cheeks and then quickly starts in on her story: the papers, “The Drill’ plan, a short rant on the VP on the company and how she hated her, then Jenny Pizza and finally the main event.

Lapis hmms and cheers and eggs her along until Peridot is almost standing on the top of the table retelling the story like a professional wrestler announcer reveling in every detail.

“...and you were right about her face!” She throws her arms in the air, “it was priceless! Her neck vein was huge, and think I could see the entirely of her eyes, like this,” she bugged out her eyes and Lapis laughed from her toes to her fingertips.

Sadie brings them their dinner pancakes and Peridot slips back into a sitting position, clearing her throat as she does, “thank you.”

Sadie giggles, “no problem. And congratulations.”

Lapis watches as Peridot blushes as she realizes everyone could hear her.

“My girl is going places.” Lapis says enthusiastically as Sadie pushes the dish before her. Sadie winks at her and Lapis would have high fived her, somehow, this may have worked.

“Right. Your girl.” Peridot murmured to herself, barely audible, Lapis shuffles her feet and they start to eat.

Peridot blinks slowly, “this is pretty good…”

“Told you!” Lapis crows, “not your average pancake.”

She digs into her cake-batter pancake with lemon cream. Lapis knew her stuff.

Peridot seemed to brighten up, her face animated and arms open again, Lapis plays a little game of ‘roughly kick her everytime she stares at the weird guy in the corner.’

“Don’t stare at Benny!” She nudges her again.

“You know him?”

“I know Benny has a rough life and must be regarded fondly.”

“He’s using his tie as a hair band!” She tries to stretch her neck to look over Lapis’s shoulder, “ow! Stop kicking me.”

“Benny and I are long time Dinner buds. His weirdness is my friend.”

Peridot is giggling, “he’s pouring some of his drink on his steak.”

Lapis wrinkles her nose, but manages a sardonic, “the finest specimen…”

They are laughing and the air is warm like a furnace and atmosphere crackling like autumn leaves in the most satisfying ways. Finally, Peridot seems to calm down and look up at her.

“Lapis…” She says softly.

“Yeah?” Lapis says between bites.

“I know I literally just got fired…”

“You quit! Like a badass!” She corrects.

“But is this a, um date?”

Lapis begins to choke, coughing up her food.

“Because...if it’s one.” She takes a deep breath, “I’m having a surprisingly great time.”

Lapis’s chest glows, but her face is also on fire and brain fritzing quietly, “this isn’t a date.”

“Oh,” Peridot deflates.

“Because then one of us would have to die.”

“Oh?” Peridot does not look amused.

Lapis grabs for her hand, “think about it. Because if I’m a lesbian, and you’re a lesbian, one of us would def. have to die for hetero reasons.”

“Right. So someone can go on and have two and half kids and a lawn.”

“Two lawns!”

“Who has two lawns?”

“Me. After you tragically die in a stray fork incident.”

Peridot looks annoyed, “I’m not sure I’m okay with your two lawns and marriage to a guy.”

“Benny.”

“Correct. Benny.”

Peridot is suddenly holding tightly onto her hand, they are holding hands.

“Good thing, this isn’t a date then.” Lapis says quickly.

Peridot squeezes her hand and looks unamused. “Is there any way I could make it one?”

Lapis freezes, Peridot was being bold where she was a coward.

“I...I…” Lapis tries to think of something funny, her last defense.

“Because I think it’s been a long day. I could really use a date.” Lapis swallows, hard.

“I don’t know.” Lapis says, her hand still in Peridot’s, this time clammy and every nerve sensitive to the touch.

Peridot reaches over the table, her face inches from Lapis. Lapis lets her melt into the space between them.

She kisses her.

It isn’t wet or chlorinated or ordered by someone else, it is simple and sweet and Lapis’s eyes close. Her heart a steady stream of ‘yassss, bitch, yas,’ as the chaste kiss softly spreads between them.

“Eep!” Lapis's eyes pop open and glance over to a shrill noise, Sadie had just walked in on the event and then turned around quickly. “Check. Here.” She says swiftly before jogging back to the kitchen.

Lapis chuckles and calls after her, “thanks Sadie.”

She finally releases Peridot’s hand as she reaches for the bill, Peridot herself looking gently embarrassed and yet a usual dosage of smug, tries to stop her.

“Hey!” Peridot says as Lapis takes her card out to pay. “I can help.”

“Nope.” Lapis says sure of herself, “you just lost your job.”

Peridot slumps down, “right.”

“And you just made this a date after all.” She winks at her and Peridot's eyes go wide.

Lapis hands Sadie the bill back and the largest tip she’s afforded to any one person in her life.

“You’ll have to protect me though.” Lapis says seriously. “I may die.”

Peridot grins, placing her chin on her hand, “you look like you can take care of yourself Lazuli, but...I suppose I can walk you home to make sure.”

Lapis heart speeds up, God Peridot was getting too good at this.

They leave the diner hand in hand, Sadie squealing at them and giving Lapis a big thumbs up mouthing ‘you guys are so cute.’

“Sadie seems nice.” Peridot finally says as the nippy spring air hits them and she picks up some sort of large picture frame up off the curb.

Lapis nods, “she’s pretty great. I’m glad I ran into her on one of my sleepless nights.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

Lapis mentioned a story about Sadie, more specifically Sadie and her mom.

“...and then she snuck out the back door!” She finished while laughing at her own tale, only to find Peridot crumbling beside her.

“Yeah,” she murmurs, “haha.”

“What is it?” Lapis asks in concern as she squeezes her hand.

“It’s just…” She sighs heavily, “speaking of moms." She frowns, " _my_ mom got me that job, I mean I can already hear the conversation in my head,” She puts her fingers to her head like a phone, “yeah, hi mom, remember that job you got me? I totally blew it.” Peridot sounded almost delirious with an over layer of bitter.

“For good reason!” Lapis tries to reassure her.

“Not really.” Peridot slumps and she kicks a can they come upon on the street.

Lapis tries to walk closer to her to provide some comfort, “you’re going to be okay.” She croons.

Peridot’s shoulders hunch over, stiff and heavy on her small frame, “I’m not sure Lapis.” It was a whisper, “I’m really not sure... I’ve never done something like this before.”

They slow down as they approach Lapis’s apartment, pausing as they get to the front stoop.

Lapis turns Peridot around and has her face her, Peridot stares at her shoes in turn.

“It will be fine.” She repeats, “it usually is. Just gotta give it time.”

Peridot sniffles, “I don’t think you realize how big this is for me…”

Lapis wraps her arms around Peridot and pulls her into a hug, “then tell me.” This was trying, right?

“It’s awful!” She almost wails.

“What about that painting?” Lapis says as she points to the portrait she’s still carrying.

Peridot gives a weak hiccup, her eyes wet like lily pads in a pond, “I stole it.”

“See? My hero!”

“Yeah...I remembered it made you laugh.”

Lapis holds her breath, she got it for her. She got the silly vagina picture for her.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanted to make me….”

She shrugs, “I like to hear you laugh.”

Lapis shivers and every nerve in her feels like syrup and warm shots of Jagermeister, “ _do you want to come up?_ ” She asks in one breath gesturing to her apartment.

Peridot blinks several times and then at her little bare feet, heels in her hands, she pushes herself up on her tiptoes, arms wrapped around Lapis’s neck.

First, her nose brushed up against hers, a brief eskimo kiss as their eyes focus on each other. Then her breath tickled her cheek, suspense rising in her gut as Peridot draws her in ever so gradually.

“Lapis….” She whispers, and then draws her in for another kiss.

It’s slow, and more than Lapis could possibly handle but oh so important, she vanishes into it. She doesn’t think about the word love, she didn’t even know what that was.

But her heart beats like a drum in a Disney film and her head spins, her little lesbian feelings scattered across the ground like toys across a kids room.

She kisses her, and then parts like a butterfly’s wings separated from it’s back.

“Wow.” She hears herself say, because that wasn’t quite like all the kisses she had before. “Would you like to come up?” She asks again.

Peridot nods and Lapis leads her by the hand and takes her upstairs.


	19. Hands on Affection

Peridot feels her hands go clammy as she made her way up stained stairs to Lapis Lazuli's apartment. Made her way hand in hand with Lapis that is.

Okay, her palms were getting _really_ sweaty.

Lapis lets her go when she takes out her set of keys and jams one into the lock and then glances at Peridot, the curl of a smile on her full lips, soft and open.

Peridot is not sure what her heart is doing. Tap-dancing maybe? It didn’t feel healthy or well-choreographed.

“Come on in.” Lapis says as she jiggles the key and shoulders open her door. "This is my place."

“Thanks.” Peridot says dryly, “I almost hadn’t been here ten dozen times.”

“Don’t be a smartass.” Peridot followed Lapis into the cramped space, “I’ll get us something to drink.”

She walks over to the kitchen while Peridot slumped down on her couch, folding herself over and coming close to the word ‘wallow,’ Peridot would never wallow, but this was coming very close to it.

She sighs heavily and thinks about where any of this is going do some sort bullshit of ‘building her character.’ That’s what her father always said when bad things happened. 'You’ll come out stronger,' it sounded definitely fake and like her dad would be getting socks for fathers day for his voice haunting her like a ghost.

“What’cha thinking about?” Lapis calls to her from across the room.

“What?”

“You look like your brain is having a mini-funeral for itself with that face you're making.” Lapis states as she starts to walk in her direction.

Peridot strains her neck and stares at the ceiling, “I don’t think I’m learning anything from this.”

Lapis snorts, “Duh. Sometimes shitty things, decisions I guess, happen and then that’s all there are.” She sounds bitter and distant, “and it’s not like you learn anything.”

“Mmmm,” Peridot closes her eyes.

“But that’s not happened.” Lapis speaks softly and places a gentle hand on Peridot’s shoulder, Peridot’s eyes flutter open in surprise, Lapis’s face is a breaths away from her as Peridot sat on the couch and Lapis stood behind her, “I was serious. I think you did something cool.”

Lapis wasn’t sober in her grey-glass eyes very often. She seemed so honest for a moment.

Peridot opens her mouth, Lapis bends down and kisses her. An upside couch-kiss that was made Peridot ache in the chest in the best of ways if there was an ever a ‘best’ for that feeling of hollow longing in the cavity beneath her ribs.

They make wet noises in the breadth of the apartment as their lips meet.

A tea kettle noise stings through the air, Lapis pulls back and whispers as quietly as the grave,“ _spiderman._ ”

Peridot immediately snorts and grabs a pillow, hitting Lapis in the face as the other giggles at her own joke.

“You’re such a dork.”

“That’s rich from you! Spiderman is the classic kiss.”

“It’s not raining.” She hugs the other pillow to her chest.

Lapis sticks a finger in the air, “I just made an entire kettle of water.”

“Do _not_ pour a boiling hot set of water on us.”

"Peridot," she says earnestly, “I have to.  _I am nothing if not a romantic._ ”

Peridot is laughing and it feels good, the noise dies down and she shares a soft look as Lapis pours the hot water.

“What kind of tea do you want?”

“You’re choice." She makes eye contact with her, "I trust you.”

It was a dumb way to confess things, but can see the rise of a blush in Lapis’s cheeks as she nods.

“Pick a movie while we’re at it. I would recommend the Devil Wears Prada.”

Peridot shrugs, “that sounds too close too home.”

“Than pick anything from netflix.” Lapis winks at her and Peridot’s heart jumps to her throat, she dry swallowed, hard.

“Alrighty.” She clicks on the TV quickly. “You live in a dump and yet still have netflix…” She murmurs.

“Hey, I need something to do between the hours of ‘fuck’ and ‘me’ when my body really sucks.”

Peridot shrugs, “I’ll try not to put you to sleep then…”

The air is tense with something thick and heated, Peridot doesn’t think she’s flirted so hard in her life without having some sort of knee spasm and having to sit out of 10th grade PE. This was a lot better.

Lapis silently places the cups of tea before them, they smell spicy.

Peridot picks a movie at random, something about drugs and trying to get into college, seemed about right.

They get half through the beginning before Lapis’s hand slips onto her thigh, Peridot blinks up and feels the need to tell Lapis the complex anatomy of the bee. Or cry over her car insurance bill.

Lapis glances at her, eyes asking permission like bright orbs of sun in the flashing of the TV.

Peridot bites her lip and rearranges her legs, lifting herself a little higher, and nods.

Lapis’s hand pushes her pencil skirt up higher and Peridot draws her into a long kiss, cradling her face and trying to somehow suck the warmth from her breath, the heart beat out of Lapis’s mouth.

They kiss like the world will end and Lapis guides her flat against the couch, capturing her lips in her own for a hungry, syrup slow make out.

It’s painful in the way that thumping hard under the haze of lust is a string as red as blood that draws her to Lapis, a impulse to connect and never let go.

Lapis and presses their bodies together and places her hands up and down Peridot’s body, one hand firmly on her hip and the other wrapped around her back. Their chests heave against the other, it's so pleasantly soft she thinks she might faint.

Her brain fritz’s in and out of over-heating like a motherboard on over drive, caught in all of Lapis’s lips, on her throat, the lobe of her ear, whispering into her mouth.

“Peri, Peri…” She doesn’t know what she’s saying but she knows she doesn’t want her to ever stop saying her name.

“I love…” Peridot chokes, “when you say that.”

“Peridot.” She coos in a muppet voice.

She wrinkles her nose, “Not like that.”

Lapis giggles and leans in to her ear, “Peridot…” She shivers, arching off the couch and into Lapis's lithe form.

Lapis buries her face into Peridot’s neck, tickling the side of it as she breaths heavily and hides her face.

“What are you doing?” She asks as Lapis buries her face.

“This is...a lot of.”

Peridot strokes her hair affectionately and fondly smirks, “sometimes I forget how shy you are.”

Lapis lifts her enough to flash her eyes dangerously in her direction.

Peridot pets her hair once more and Lapis buries her face, “Lapis Lazuli.” Peridot repeats.

 _Pppfffffft_ , Peridot lets out an involuntary guffaw, “ _Lapis_.”

 _Pfffffft_ , she squirms all over the place, “do _not_ blow raspberries on my neck.” She tries to push her away as her neck tickles.

She moves to her collarbone, “ _Pfffftt._ ”

“This is not romantic.” She kicks up half way violently.

Lapis pops her head up, “is my seduction not working?” She says, mock-offended.

Peridot nods slowly, “I’d call it pretty shitty.”

“Uh, uh, _uh,_ ” She makes high-pitched insulted noises.

“Let me show you how it’s done.” Lapis’s cheeks flare, Peridot wraps her arms around her neck and pulls her into a kiss like a walmart at midnight: haunting and bright.

"I'm glad you're here," Lapis whispers, "not at work." She says with a smile.

Peridot freezes, something hurts like thorns and she draws her into a firm hug. "Me too." Lapis's hurt like a hummingbird glows against her own as she presses them together in a sticky hug. And for a moment everything melts away, feeling raw and rubbed against sandpaper.

"Seduction?" Lapis huffs, “You’re just hugging me…”

“Yeah.” She confirms in a small voice, “if that’s...okay with you.” Everything feels delicate about her for a moment, china breakable. 

“It’s okay.” She says ever so quietly.

Peridot’s mind races, “I quit my job.” Lapis hugs back, “this isn’t what I do. It’s not who I am.” She heaves a sigh.

Lapis hugs her hard and they lay there for what may have been an hour or just a moment. Peridot cries into her neck, though no one comments on it accept to rub her back. She clings to her as her eyes unceremoniously overflow. This wasn’t who she was. She didn’t know who she was.

Peridot didn’t cry, except maybe in the dark in the arms of a always-tired girl who never shut up.

Peridot cried into her throat was raw and the world so small and blurry around her.

Lapis hands her a tissue as she pulls away, “do you want to go to sleep?”

Peridot blows her nose, “yeah.”

Lapis her arms around her, Peridot struggles, she still had her pride, “what are you doing?”

Lapis kisses her on the forehead as she picks her up, “come on sweetheart.”

Her heart pounds, _love me._ If she could cast spells that’s the only thing her whole being vibrated around her, _I don’t want to be alone in this._

Lapis drops her on the bed and practically body slams her into the mattress.

“She’s down for the count!”

“ _She_ needs to breath...and go brush her teeth.” She grumbles as she struggles under her.

“The win is in sight! 1! 2!”

Peridot uses her superior understanding of leverage to flip them over, “3.” She breaths, and kisses her breathlessly, Lapis melts into it but Peridot can feel Lapis’s hands trembling.

“It’s okay,” she whispers, Lapis squirms.

Lapis wrinkles her nose, “You really do need to brush your teeth.”

Peridot sits up quickly, putting her hands on her hips, “you’re tasting nothing but your own mouth.”

Lapis rolls her eyes, “and my mouth _is_ junk.” She pushes on her shoulder, "also...you can borrow anything." She smiles faintly back at her.

Peridot then scurries over to the restroom and must wash her face twenty times, trying to get everything about her down to her knees to stop fluttering.

She brushes her teeth (very thoroughly) and then finally sheds her business clothes in the corner for a pair of Lapis’s boxes and a very loose night shirt.

“Don’t you have something smaller?” She complains.

“Sorry. My baby clothes are at my folks house.”

Peridot throws another pillow at her, Lapis catches it this time, “I’ll kick your ass.”

Lapis smiles at her, “not looking so adorable that is.”

“I’m not adorable.”

Lapis saunters over and tugs the neck hole straight, “you are the cutest thing I’ve seen. That shirt reaches your thighs.” She coos.

Peridot looks at the ground. “Remember that fight club conversation?”

Lapis tips her head up after a brief laugh, “cute. How did I get as lucky as this?” She brushes a feather light kiss on her.

She can barely breath, but she manages to hold her hand.

They descend on the bed and Peridot pillows her head on Lapis’s shoulder. The ambulances blare outside and the city swears with the ricochet of gun shots, Peridot can’t get herself to be bothered.

“Good night.”

“Goodnight…” Lapis whispers, “love.”

Peridot drifts off with a mix of something happy and memories like swirling clouds threatening to overwhelm her, but she manages to hold on. That was the important part.


	20. All Types of People in the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, the first iteration of this chapter was in fact silly and did not do much, so this is the new version

Lapis’s arms were heavy. Her eyes felt like they were sinking deep into her head and it was like she was a copy of a copy, xeroxed too many times and painted thin in the bright florescent lights of her store.

She yawned again, almost dropping the can of beans in her hands in the process.

She wasn’t sure, but she had the sneaking suspicions her sleep issues were getting worse. Which was too bad because the rest of things for her life could be defined as ‘the shit’ and ‘surprisingly good' for mostly one reason.

She took her phone out of her pocket and glanced at it after stacking what felt like the 200th can of pinto’s.

 

**Fancy Pasta Girl**

11:32 >> Look at this picture of a cat:

Lapis smiled, opening the folder and cooing at the image Peridot sent her of a cat in a little hammock.

 

11:33

>That’s super cute, it's lil'paws are hanging off the side :0

>how’s the job search going tho?

 

**Fancy Pasta Girl**

11:40>>>...don’t remind me. Everywhere is looking for nurses, or teachers, and me without any of those degrees

 

11:41

>awe, you in a nurses outfit tho <3 <3 rawr

 

**Fancy Pasta Girl**

11:42>>> I would probably make all my patients cry

 

11:42

>prolly, lol

 

**Fancy Pasta Girl**

11:45 >>>....wish you were here. Nothing to distract me from my rent bills on my table now

 

11:46

> here, I’ll distract you, look look at this sweet meme:

 

She sent back a picture of Stalin as a cat telling them to merge the means of purr-duction and she can feel Peridot just rolling her eyes at her from several miles away. Lapis can’t help but smile.

Lapis stretches as she waits for the reply, and continues to restock the empty King Sooper shelves, only stopping now and then to rub the burn out her blurry eyes.

She was not really feeling her limbs as the weight of her sleepless nights rested on her shoulder tops. Having a Peridot over some nights helped now and then, but other nights she just stayed up watching the silent face of the other girl.

Peridot was different in sleep than in life, small, light, like a curled up cat that fell open like the pages of a book.

Which would be sweet if it wasn’t also creepy of her.

 

**Fancy Pasta Girl**

11:50>> don’t bolshefuck with me >:(

 

11:51

>I promise I’m not stalin’ ;)

 

**Fancy Pasta Girl**

11:52>> you’re terrible. But it really isn’t like you to be russian anyway.

 

11:52

>neeerd.

 

Lapis is smiling at her phone like a she’s doped up morphine and cough drops when she spots a costumer to her left, she sneaks her phone back into her pocket so no one sees her slacking. The woman lingers off to Lapis's side.

It was a tall black woman with a curling afro and an impassive face. Lapis had seen her before at the store, a regular, but she was usually very quick with her groceries. Now however, she was contemplating the soup section like the Mona Lisa's face was painted on the Campbell's labels.

Lapis watches her slowly and then finishes restocking the top shelves.

The woman doesn’t go anywhere, in fact Lapis feels like her covered eyes following her, a prickling that burned on Lapis's neck and made her ultra aware of her heavy limbs and brain that weeped with exhaustion.

 

Lapis finishes, takes the empty boxes in her arms and moves to pass the woman quickly, at the last moment the woman sticks out her arm and motions for Lapis.

Lapis blinks at her slowly and then shuffles her feet.

 

“Do you need help with something ma'am?” She finally ventures, being somewhat dwarfed by her stature and handsome features.

 

“Don’t be alarmed,” her accented words begin and Lapis’s eyebrows raise, “but there’s been a man trailing you since I got in the store.”

Lapis freezes and her blood runs cold, her heart jumping into her throat and her stomach simultaneously drops to the bottom of her shoes.

 

“Where?” Lapis whispers, her shoulders raising up to her ears. She must have been too tired to notice.

 

The woman nods her head over to the end of aisle four, a familiar beady-eyed middle aged man held a magazine up and pretended to read it.

 

Lapis’s face contorts, and she clutches at the boxes in her arms, forcing the sharp edges into her chest.

 

She takes a very deep breath, “I need to talk to him.” The woman raises one eyebrow up at her, “what?” Lapis asks sullenly.

  
“That takes balls.”

 

Lapis grins, “thanks I suppose.” She turns back to him and scowls, “this creep has been around before. I should end it.” Lapis didn’t want to think about for how long or how many times he'd been present.

 

The woman places a hand on her shoulder, “you shouldn’t go alone.”

 

She shrugs, “I’ll talk to him somewhere public.”

The woman nods, “I’ll go with you.”

 

“Um,” Lapis glances up at her as she places the boxes down, “I don’t want to, you know, inconvenience you.” She cringes at the wording.

 

“It won’t be.” The woman nods at her and puts her hand out, “I’m Garnet.”

“Lapis.”

They shake briefly, suddenly bonded on the basis of need and solidarity over creepy men.

“And it won’t inconvenience me.” Her lips upturn, “it would be my pleasure. I’m a firefighter, helping people is what I do.”

Lapis tilts her head, “that’s really cool. Like, really cool.”

She shrugs, “It’s nothing.” She points at her chest and smiles behind her sunglasses, “I’m fireproof.”

Lapis practically shivers, only one word running through her head: _cool._

 

Lapis takes out her phone, “one sec. Gotta tell someone what's going on just in case we disappear.”

 

Garnet punches her palm with a smack, “I wouldn’t let that happen.” Lapis’s mouth is a little dry.

 

11:55

>hey, remember that creep we ran away from?

>He’s back.

**Fancy Pasta Girl**

>>>what??? fuck, fuck, hold on

11:57

>It’sokay I’m gonna go confront him. Enough of this shit

**Fancy Pasta Girl**

>>>NO. do not, Lapis, let me come get you

11:58

>it’s fine, I have a guardian angel this time

 

When Garnet is looking away Lapis takes a picture of her and sends it to Peridot with a ‘she’s a firefighter!!!’

 

Lapis puts her phone away, even though she can feel it buzzing like cicada in her pocket from Peridot sending her a wash of new text messages.

 

Lapis turns back to Garnet and nods at her, “let’s do this.”

“Are you sure?”

“I can’t just have him watch me forever.” She bawls her hands into fists, and if it got worse, she could get the police involved. As the last resort.

Garnet trails behind her with her arms sternly crossed across her chest, Lapis holds her head up high and walks.

 

“Hey! You!” She barks. The man fumbles with the magazine and backs up, “don’t you run away! You already chased _me_ down that road. We need to talk.”  
  
She glances back at Garnet who gives her a supportive thumbs up.

 

Lapis faces off with the scruffy, sickly looking man, his eyes hollow and green around the white edges, he looks like he might bolt but then stops himself at the last moment.

 

“I like...your hair.” Is the first thing he says, soft, halting words that are assuredly 100% unnerving.

 

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go outside.” Lapis snaps at him and gestures for him to march in front of her. She takes them to the back door and out into the rear parking lot, it’s empty at this time of night, and she could be as loud as she wanted to out there.

 

She turns on him, with her hands on her hips and gravel in her face, “what the hell is your deal?”  
  
He backs up from her and fiddles with his hands, “I, I, just wanted to see you,” he spouts a watery, faltering smile, “I was hoping one day we’d talk actually.”  
  
Lapis could pull out her hair, every single hair at once, “this is not how you approach someone!”

 

He frowns, “it isn’t my fault you ran.” That makes Lapis pause and feel a little bit smaller, he had a good two feet on her and he seemed to be edging her way, she shuffles closer to Garnet who stands stoically to the side.

“I just wanted to talk.” His frown grows, “I just wanted to be close to such a pretty girl, don’t you understand? It’s hard for guys like me.”

Lapis’s skin was crawling, his eyes grow hard in their little sunken eye sockets.

“You always look so tired. Do sleep enough?” He leans forward, Lapis smells the mustard on his breath, “I want to help. I could help.”  
  
“Backup,” Garnet nudges him to give Lapis more berth, “she’s trying to tell you not follow her anymore.”  
  
“Yeah!” Lapis gets her voice back, taking deep breaths to steady herself.

“No, you don’t see,” he whines and pulls on his sleeves angrily, “you have to see.”

“Dude,” Lapis expresses, “one, I’m gay, two, I’m pretty much taken and three you’re like two decades older than me!” She throws her arms in the air.  
  
He rearranges his glasses, “I know. I know all those things.” He reaches for her and Lapis takes a step back, Garnet steps forward. “And I don’t care! We can still be happy. I just want to be near you.”

He latches onto her shoulder with his thick hands, shouldering past Garnet with his wide shoulders to grab onto her.

“Get off!”

“We could be happy! Let me show you, Lapis, Lapis--” He pulls her towards him

 

“Fuck off!” Lapis is suddenly hyper-aware of how small she is and how thin her clothes are.

 

“Get away from her.” Garnet says calmly, he ignores both of them.

 

“We could be so happy, I’ve gone over again, and again in my head, we are meant to--” Garnet punches him the face.

Lapis twists out of his arms as he falls and she starts to run in the other direction, until she backs up into the side of the brick wall and holds her sides. Her eyes bulge out of her head and she trembles from head to toe.

 

“Repeat after me,” Garnet was leering over the man, “I will not harass this girl again. I will not see her. I will not speak to her.”  
  
“I’ll call the police!” Lapis glances back at them, the man is holding the side of his face and Garnet is towering over him, Lapis feels waves of gratitude towards her.

She tries to stagger back to the scene slowly, only to be struck by the light of two headlights swerving towards them.

Lapis covers her eyes to make the outline of a beige Subaru.

 

“Lapis!” All three of the parties watch a small middle-eastern girl stumble out of her car, “oh my God, _Lapis_.”

Lapis begins to rush over to her, then stops as the man gets up and his desperate eyes land on her like a spotlight, begging her for something she couldn’t give.

 

“You can’t follow me anymore.” Lapis says slowly, Garnet stands in front of her, Peridot glowers at the man. “You can’t come into my store anymore.”  
  
He looks at a loss, his palms to the sky, “that’s not how this works. It doesn’t go like this, it doesn’t go like this,” he repeats those words over and over again.

Garnet pushes him away, “should we call the police now?”

Lapis shakes her head and wrinkles her nose, “I'm not fond of them.”

 

Peridot runs over to her and latches on to her arm, “screw that! Call them.”  
  
“DON’T TOUCH HER!” Lapis reels back, the man rushes them, eyes plastered on Peridot’s grip on Lapis.

 

“Take her out of here.” Garnet instructs, “I’ll calm him down.”  
  
“You can’t!” Lapis couldn’t let people just take care of everything for her.

 

Garnet stands between them like a wall against charging bull, he hesitates and stands in place, eyes still laser-focused on where Peridot touched Lapis.

  
Peridot drags her to the car, “come with me. Come on.” She forces her into the car as Lapis watches Garnet the firefighter quietly talk to Lapis’s personal stalker.

 

“Thank you!” She yells out the window. She gives her a final thumbs up. “Thank you!”

"Don't leave! I love you!" Lapis watches as the man's figure disappears in the side mirrors.

 

Peridot skids out of the parking lot like a madwoman, muttering to herself the whole time, “men, bastards, pigs, can’t believe.”  
  
Lapis clutches at her hands, trying to get some feeling back into her numb body, _calm down Lapis_ she instructs herself.

  
“Are you okay?” Peridot finally turns on her, a gentle fear glowing in her hazel eyes.

 

Lapis’s mouth hangs up, “I don’t know.”

 

Peridot bites her lip and quickly floors it back to her house where she veers into her own driveway.

 

They park, and before any more words are exchanged Peridot jumps over the space between the chairs and engages Lapis in a searing kiss.

Lapis kisses back like the heavens might open up and tear them apart if she didn’t.

 

They embrace and entangle in each other’s limbs, clinging to one another and Lapis throwing herself into the heat of Peridot’s mouth. She descends into the red and black of a breathless make-out.

She only realizes how hard she had been shaking until Peridot is holding her.

“Who was that woman?” Peridot asks as they pant into the dark of the immobile vehicle.

 

“Garnet. She helped me,” Lapis replies and then smiles to herself, “she punched him in the face.”

Peridot wraps her in a tighter hug, “I want to kill him.”

 

Lapis wipes at her eyes, “you?” She gives a hoarse laugh, “al-alright.” She digs her nails into Peridot’s skin, “okay. You can kill him.”

She laughs, a morose grating sound even to her own ears.

 

Peridot buries her face in Lapis’s neck and holds onto her harder, “good. And then we’ll get a drink.”

Lapis tries not to sniffle, “first round is for that woman.”

Peridot smiles into her clavicle, “okay. I'll get her something from the top shelf.” She kisses the side of Lapis's mouth, "for helping you. I-I was so scared for you." She kisses her back, surprised at how candid she was.

“I didn’t even know her,” Lapis reflects, threading her fingers through Peridot’s hair.

Peridot’s breath tickles her skin, “there are good people in this world.”  
  
Lapis looks up at the dull grey ceiling of the car, “I guess so.”  
  
Peridot’s eyes wander to the window, “And bad people.”  
  
Lapis nods and kisses the top of Peridot’s head, “can I stay with you tonight?”

Peridot nods and doesn’t let go of her as she takes her into her house.

She makes her tea and tries to kiss away the crinkle in her forehead, and she doesn't let go of her, even when Lapis stared at the ceiling and didn't sleep that night.


	21. Camp-Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna publish this tomorrow, but I got excited and here it is now. 
> 
> The last chapter is staying on a preliminary basis, but it is... very complicated.

Peridot sat with her back on her thick beige carpet and her legs on the seat cushions of her couch. She stared up the ceiling as the bright spring sun shone through the thin curtains and made little wavy patterns on the walls and floor.

The day was calm in the way a bowl of cream is thick and sweet and the her duplex was devoid of people in the honey yellow mid-afternoon.

More importantly, Peridot’s hand was clasped in the fingers of a girl she liked, they sat together on her living room carpet with their legs elevated on the couch and the silence was a fine silk over a drowsy day.

Peridot slowly turns to Lapis and she meets her star-bright eyes briefly, Lapis smiles at her, pleasant and lacking any manic joy that sometimes played across her features.

Lapis lifts their hands up and kisses Peridot’s knuckles one by one. One little light touch after the next trailed over the tops of her hand.

Peridot blushes but sinks into the feeling of their hands interlaced and the slow motion of each kiss on a knuckle. Together, tucked away from the outside world.

“I would have punched him with this hand.” Peridot announces as she squeezes Lapis’s palm.

Lapis giggles briefly, “sure you would.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know! You’re my little spitting cat.” She leans forward and kisses her on the nose like a present from the heavens,

She rubs her nose roughly, “I’m not sure if I should feel patronized or complimented.”

Lapis smirks. She swoons with a hand placed on her forehead, “save me obi-ho kenobi, you’re my only hope.”

Peridot elbows her on their recline on the ground, “don’t get cute with me.”

“How I could I?”

Peridot bites the inside of her cheek, she sighs, “you’re right. You’re always cute.” She smiles into Lapis's face.

“Oh my God.” Lapis pushes on her shoulder, “terrible. Oh God."

Peridot huffs, "I'm only being honest. From my studies of the situation." She tilts her head and puts a finger in the air. "You are cute."

"Pain chamber for you.” Lapis rolls on top of her and catches her in hard embrace.

“No! Come on, this is what people say to each other.”

“Pain chamber! For being too mushy.” She squeezed Peridot's sides in a bear hug and Peridot’s lung compressed.

She snorts, “wow. This is the real iron maiden. How will I ever recover?” She deadpans.

Lapis rolls off her again and re-entwines their hands, “you’re right. Torture is my one Achilles heal. I'm too soft.”

“Trust me. I think you're okay at it.” She jokes and Lapis turns around and lies on her side, facing Peridot, her big grey eyes tinted by blue-black eyelashes flutter at her. Peridot's heart does the miranga and she swears she will sue.

“No way. I'm a delight. My second grade teacher said I was "joy to have in class".”

Peridot shakes her head, “really?”

Lapis nuzzles her neck. “Nah." She shrugs with laughter in her eyes, "I was always a pain, they put me in the silent corner, where the naughty kids go.”

Peridot’s eyes go half lidded, “naughty, huh.”

Lapis catches the lilt to her voice, her eyes go deep- like bedroom lights turning off or Barry White playing in the background of a sunset.

Peridot dry gulps, Lapis's fingers trail downwards as light as fairies, she pushes up the bottom of Peridot's shirt and lowers her head slowly, pressing kisses down the center of her body, her eyes never leaving Peridot's.

Peridot almost shook in place and lets a heat gather in her belly.

Lapis gets to right above her jeans.

_Ppppfffft,_

“I hate you! I hate you, I ha,” repeats over and over again as Lapis blew raspberries into her belly button.

“Naughty children get the mouth vortex.” _Ppppffft,_ Peridot is laughing with tears in her eyes and she hates it.

“Uuuugh.” Peridot squirms away from her and tries to get to her feet, Lapis drags her back down.

They fall on top of each other and Peridot is only able to stop herself from nailing Lapis in the face by force of will.

“Is this because I called you cute?” She laughs as she settles back down on her thick carpet.

“It’s because you insulted the pain chamber.” Lapis replies and rearranges them next to each other, this time their legs touching and hands laying on top of each other. They both had no where to be.

They fall back into a subtle hush, easy, pleasant.

Peridot fans her eyes at the ceiling and considers Lapis, “are you really going to back to work tomorrow?”

Lapis makes a face, “duh. Ain’t no freak going to interrupt my routine.” She frowns and adds softly, lowly, “otherwise he wins.”

“That’s what you said when I asked you why you don’t take out the trash every week.”

“It wastes precious plastic.” She explains.

Peridot edges closer to her and wants to hold her.

“I’m over it anyway." Lapis explained, though her eyes are blank like empty canvasses, "That shits compressed like crushing cube in a metal factory.”

“Right.” Peridot says slowly, her eyebrows knitting together.

“And how about that resume?” Lapis asks, Peridot looks down at her feet and her mouth goes tight, her eyes pinching at the corners.

“I,” she chokes and her darts around, “my cover letter is…you know. Going.”

Lapis leans forward and kisses her on the forehead, “no need to get wrinkles.” She says as she smooths out the crease between Peridot's eyes.

Peridot can’t meet her gaze, she frowns and thinks about the last few days, “Why is the world so fucked up?”

Lapis shrugs, “because that’s the world. That’s how it is.” She leans their heads together, she squeezes their hands, tight, as to say _we still have this though_.

“I,” she swallows the words before they burst out like valentine letters or impromptu confessions to your cat at 3 in the morning of _'I love her_ ,' “my only skill set I have on there right now is computer science and having once played Dragon Age for three days straight.”

“Niiiice.” Lapis bumps their knees together, “you also make great mac-and-cheese. And somehow time all your phone calls to the exact time I’m getting in the shower.”

“You take too many showers.” She grumbles.

“I’m a waterphiliac babe.” She winks and Peridot elbows her, “you’ll have to accept that as one of the terms. This is polyamorous set up.”

Peridot draws forward and brushes her lips over Lapis's, but not quite touching, “That's too bad." She gives a feather-light kiss, "I’m not sure I ever learned how to share.”

Lapis blushes and rearranges her arms, flustered. “You also look really good in baggy clothes.”

Peridot shakes her head, “I’m great at picking all the apples that are actually rotten in the middle.”

Lapis wrinkles her nose, “you have probably the best worst morning breath I’ve encountered.”

Peridot laughs, “I have a knack for pissing off cabbies. And teachers. And every other boss I’ve had!” She laughs manically.

Lapis takes her in her arms and holds her, and holding her in her arms like she was concrete angel cradling a baby Jesus. They sit there for a moment. “Your resume is going to be the bomb.”

She breathes softly, “I’m also really great at pissing off grocery store clerks," she smiles into Lapis’s clavicle, “thank God.”

Lapis shakes her head and lets them part, looking down at her her soft mouth makes an O as she speaks, “you’re pretty fantastic at getting your girlfriend tea in the morning. Like, every morning too.” She buries her face in Peridot’s hair, Peridot freezes.

“What?”

“I mean, I don’t know how you make it taste better than mine. It’s just tea.”

Peridot grabs onto her elbow and pulled, “no. The first part.”

She looks up, Lapis backs up, and sits up, going crossed legged and biting her lip. Peridot props herself to look at her better.

“Do wanna,” Lapis doesn’t look at her and puts on her airy nonchalance, “do wanna be that?”

“A tea waiter?”

“No! I mean,” Lapis fidgets, Peridot wants to hear her say it, “do you want to be my girlfriend? Like officially. With little membership cards and vests, and a key to the city.”

Peridot bounces to her knees in one fluid motions, she latches onto Lapis’s shoulders and their faces hover inches apart.

“What kind of key?”

Lapis chuckles, “to the city, dumb ass.”

She kisses the quirk of a grin off her face and the honeyed-light of the sun creases across her face and everything is light, light, light.

She closes her eyes and lets herself melt.

They kiss long and hard, mouth closed and chaste little embraces.

Lapis sniggers as they part, still almost touching on every part of their bodies, “the world is pretty fucked up.”

Peridot presses her face into her neck and hugs her close, the sun falls down like a little boy lowering himself into a well and they eat bad take-out with tea and try to write resumes that don't sound like a series of meaningless verbs.


	22. A Boy and His Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12KS is officially a novel! 50,000 words! I'm so happy, thank you all for supporting me along the way

Lapis lifts her chin and lets the vivid light of the straw-colored sun warm her face, she stretches in the early morning Saturday light and starts to walk aimlessly down the street.

Usually she only took walks in the middle of the freaking night, but today was an exception. Her girlfriend (newly christened as so) was back home visiting her mom and Lapis had suddenly become ancy in her apartment all alone.

She didn’t like the feeling of being uncomfortable on her own-- it was such a dependent-ho move, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t like being apart.

She strolled down the thin concrete sidewalk, counting the cracks in the pavement as she went, and making it to her usual park in the middle of the city.

The park was both the hub for all the bums and vicious canadian geese of the Northeast, but it was also green and calming and Lapis skinny-dipped in its lake when she was 16 (a bad idea).

She stuffs her hands in her pockets and hums to herself as she traverses the gravel path,

“Oh my baby, my baby, my baby, come back,” she sings, the spring was sprunging and birds were out, no geese were glaring at her with beady, steal eyes promising the devil’s punishment for her hubris. It was a good day at the park.

She trails off with her off-key song when she spots a young boy in the middle of the path in front of her.

She pauses and blinks slowly. He had an impassive look on his face, a red shirt and curly brown hair that coiled in ringlets from his head.

She followed his gaze and eyed a patch of red fur up in a tree.

She bit her lip and tried to edge past him, but he seems to sigh and she stops in her tracks.

“What’s up?” She asked to the boy hesitantly as she saddles up next to him.

“Oh, hi.” He greets, a smile blooming across his round face.

“Something wrong?” She ventures.

He points, “yeah, my cat, who is sort of my cat and mostly just belongs to himself. He’s stuck.” Sure enough Lapis eyes the biggest red cat she’s ever seen half-way up an oak tree.

It narrows its eyes at them and flicks its tail irritably.

“Huh,” Lapis eyes it. “Think he can get down by himself?”

“Hmm,” the boy strokes his chin and focuses up at him, then licks his finger and sticks in the air like he’s testing the breeze.

“Cat’s are pretty capable you know.” She contributes amiably.

“Hum,” he taps his foot, “they act confident, yeah, and like they don’t like anybody,” he asserts, “but they really need other people too.” He confirms and Lapis decides he is very astute for his age. “I’m Steven by the way. And that’s Lion.”

Lapis nods and sticks out her hand, “I’m Lapis Lazuli, nice to meet you Steven.”

He beams, “ you too! Your hair reminds me of Dr. Phyllis on Under the Knife. She is the cool doctor who doesn’t play by anybodies rules.”

Lapis chuckles, “that’s me. No rules Dr. Lapis.” She points at her chest and puffs it out, “plus blue is an awesome color, especially for someone named Lapis Lazuli.”

Steven laughs, “my mom dyes her hair pink for her name too.” He announces.

Lapis blinks, “oh?”

"I think..." He trails off and seems to ponder the question.

Lion meows grumpily at them and their attention is drawn back up at the stranded kitty.

“I kind of know a firefighter, maybe I could track her down to help us?” Lapis offers.

“Nah,” Steven rolls up some pretend sleeves, “I can do it!”

“Let me help,” Lapis widens her stance.

“Yeah! Teamwork hive five!” He puts his hand in the air and Lapis slaps it, she decides she likes the boy. Lapis climbs the tree, because if Steven climbed it and he fell she was gonna be the one responsible as the 'adult' in this situation.

She huffs and puffs her way to the top and grabs onto the fat red cat, he struggle in her arms.

“Whoa there!” She rights herself before she can topple backwards to her doom, with probably the dumbest obituary possible (local girl fucking bites it after being overwhelmed by a moody cat). Her arms stings as Lion gets a nice thin gash into the sensitive flesh of forearm. It burns and she curses at him lowly. Steven opens his arms down below.

“Ready?” She calls, ignoring her wound.

“Roger!” He responds. She salutes him, and then drops the pussycat down a ways, Steven catches him with a soft ‘oof.’

“Heck yes!” She pumps her fist in the air and climbs down one branch at a time.

“Success high five!” They slap hands again and Lapis pets the cat in Steven’s arms.

“Are you here alone?” She asks in concern, realizing maybe she do the whole ‘watching out for unattended children’ thing.

“Sort of,” he confirms. “But we could do something before I have to go!” He beams and Lapis is taken back. Kids did not usually like her.

Lapis buys them ice cream and then they walk around the lake.

“...and then dogcopter swings into action, lifting his tail and spouting a rain of torpedos down on the parakeet crew!” He explains the plot of Dogcopter: Fully Loaded.

Lapis is laughing, “the last movie I saw was at 3 am, and barely remember the details.” She taps her chin, “a soccer ball was on fire.”

Steven blinks at her and licks his hand where the ice cream melted on his wrist, “I wish my mom let me stay up that late. I could catch up on so many shows.”

Lapis flinches, she was not a good influence. “No! Sleep is good, it’s...great, and everyone should do it, forever.”

Steven laughs at her, “forever?” He grins.

“Yeah. And maybe pay me for it.” That would be a motivation to get over her insomnia.

He gives her a mischievous look, “I suppose that could be a... _dream job_.”

Lapis claps her hands in delight, almost dropping the cat in her arms, “Sure, though I might get... _tired_ of it.”

He takes out his phone and shakes it, “I hear there’s a n _app_ for that.”

“Well then I’ll _knock myself out_.”

Lapis feels like she could start jump roping, trading pokemon cards and opening a lemonade stand.

They continue their sleep puns (How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, and then lies on the other--That one was over his head).

“Oh!” Steven stops in his tracks as they round a bend, “there they are!”

Lapis stops and looks around, Steven eats the rest of his ice cream in one bite and she finally spots a group of three women.

One had pink hair that was swirled into a short bob, another was very familiar tall women, and the other was Amethyst.

“Who is that?” Lapis blinks slowly, her brain processing this image like a turtle wading through molasses.

“That’s my moms assistant and her friends! They’re my friends too.”

“Is one of them a fire fighter?”

“Yeah! Garnet, how did you know?”

Lapis’s eyes go wide, how did Amethyst know her cool savior and that pink haired women?

“Oh,” Lapis hits herself in the head, “Rose Quartz.” The ball.

“Yeah!” Steven cheers, “that’s my mom. Are you psychic? Garnet is sort of like that too and...”

She was talking to Rose Quartz’s son. Lapis looks up at the sky, “what did I even do to have this happen…” Karma was like a monkey in a bouncy castle: all over the place.

“...most of them live outside the city, but Pearl lives close near me! And Garnet lives somewhere outside M.C.” Lapis realizes Steven had still been talking. Oops. “Do you want to come meet them?”

Lapis is not sure what she’d say to Garnet, ‘thanks, pal, buddy, my good sir, here’s all the change in my pockets and a loose button for saving me.’

“No.” Lapis shakes her head with a creaking smile, “I’m okay.”

She hands Steven back his cat, Lion looks back at her, both betrayed and like he knew all about her inner most soul, and that the truth was, they were both assholes. Figures.

“Alright!” He calls, “See you! Thanks for all your help Lapis.” He gives a thumbs up, “I hope we can see each other again!” She doesn’t know what to say to that and her arms hang limply by her sides. “Bye,” He calls back as he runs off.

“Yeah! No problem! Bye,” she waves after him and feels a strange sense of something spreading out before her.

She takes out her phone and picks out, ‘purple people eater.’

10:10

me: >How do you know Rose Quartz’s assistant???

**Purple People Eater**

10:40>> Whoa, where did get tht?

10:41

me: >the park, saw ya

**Purple People Eater**

10:55>> nosy.

>> but lemme tell you about this magical bar I found

10:55

me: > is it Narnia? Because bars are the closest scene I’ve been to that shove me back in the closet

**Purple People Eater**

11:30>> no!! It’s super gay my girl, Chez Les.

11:35

me: > terrible name. i think I’ve been there

**Purple People Eater**

11:42>> yah, come if you want, we go there a bunch now

11:45

me: > sure I’ll go

> bring my new gf too ;)

**Purple People Eater**

11:46>> GF?? :0 :0

11:46

> yah, you may know her

**Purple People Eater**

>> is it Peridot??? ya dog

11:47

me: >maybe ;)

**Purple People Eater**

11:47>>>Holy!!Damn girl

11:48

me: >  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Purple People Eater**

**> >**yoooo, get sum

12:50

me: > lmao, see u soon


	23. I Need a Drink

Peridot tugs on the sleeve of one of her nicer dress shirts.

“I don’t drink,” she points out as Lapis fluffs her hair in her apartment mirror.

“Well, Pearl does.” Lapis tilts her head, “I think.”

Peridot shook her head, “I am not certain that this will work. She is onlyRose Quartz’s assistant afterall.”

“And Rose Quartz loves her.” Lapis asserts as she turns around in one long swoop, her skirt flourishing out beneath her.

“And I’m only so, you know...charismatic.” Peridot grumbles as the thought of schmoozing to get a job makes her stomach clench.

“You are to me!” Lapis coos and pinches her cheek.

“Yeah, well,” Peridot bats her hand away and wraps her shorter arms around Lapis’s neck, “I can’t do this with her.” Peridot pulls her girlfriend into a deep kiss.

They stand before her door smooching for awhile before Lapis pulls back.

She giggles, “that does help.”

Peridot wags her finger, “and I am in fact _above_ weird favors for job recommendations. I’ve met Pearl,” she scrunches her nose, “she’s annoying.”

Lapis tugs at her elbow, “well you better suck it up and suck up to her. She could help you get the job. Plus, she sounds a lot like you actually. A huge nerd." Peridot scoffs and Lapis continues, "And Lapis, me, went all this trouble to set up a meeting place to ‘run into’ Rose Quartz’s assistant.”

“Didn’t you just run into her kid at the park?”

“Not the point!”

She chuckles and they leave her apartment for the stairwell and descend quickly, Peridot grumbling to herself as they go.

Lapis grabs her hand when the reach the sidewalk and Peridot is taken aback by the hand holding as they walk to the bar.

Peridot stares at the ground as they go, Lapis glances at her.

“What’s up?” Lapis finally interrupts her thoughts. “You stopped whining about having to schmooze to get your next job.”

“Nothing.” Peridot squeezes her hand, “it’s just...I may or may not be able to get over the fact this is real.” She says in a small voice and holds on tighter and Lapis beams at her. “I’ve never really dated someone before.”

Lapis slows down so they walk side by side, “good! More for me.”

Peridot shakes her head slowly, “you’re, I, well,” she looks up her to try and find the words. “I think I might be gay for you.” She finishes dumbly. 

Lapis breaks out into a full bodied laugh, “you better be!” She laughs to herself and Peridot sighs at her lack of eloquence at the situation. "I'm in gay with you too." Lapis kisses her on the cheek. Peridot smiles to herself in what was most likely a very goofy-grin. She doesn't care.

They make it to ‘Chez Les’ in no time, “that is such a dumb name.”

“You’re telling me.” Lapis agrees and they take a moment to take turns sniping at the name of the lesbian bar. Though Peridot feels strangely at ease when she walks in the door.

It’s almost all women (and some androgynous folks) and the place has ambiance of purple lighting and a buzz of constant chatter and smooth music, some sort of jazz. Peridot blinks around the bar.

“It's not so bad.” Peridot murmurs basks in the fact it is somehow...comfortable.

Lapis shrugs, “I used to come here all the time actually.”

“What happened?” Peridot asks blankly.

Lapis furrows her brow, “let’s just say...There is someone I didn’t want to see anymore who comes here.” Peridot frowns and thinks she knows who, they look around the dim area.

“There’s Amethyst!” Lapis spouts and drags them over to the counter where a short girl is situated.

Peridot blinks at her.

“Hey-oh!” She greets and holds up a beer, “the love birds make a late appearance. I can only guess why.” She bounces her eyebrows up and down.

Lapis snorts, “we were staring deeply into each others eyes for hours.”

“Oh, that’s what I thought.” Amethyst winks at them, Peridot is still looking around.

“Is Pearl here?” She interrupts. 

Amethyst makes a face, “she usually drinks alone in some sort of post-work stupor over there.” She points at an empty booth in the corner.

Peridot’s lips purse.

“You guys are gonna love this place. I’ve met so many people.” Amethyst gestures around happily.

“How did you even get in here?”

That stops Amethysts bright smile, she looks at her feet, “uh,” her eyes dart around, and she says very loudly, “by being 21?”

Peridot nods, alright, she had a fake id and Peridot should not go tell someone despite the fact it was against the rules and Peridot was all for the rules.

She glances at Lapis, she shakes her head, okay, she shouldn’t tell anyone.

“Plus, they had the best band playing here like a couple months ago, oh, oh.” Amethyst jumps up and down in her seat, she waves over at someone, “there she is.”

Peridot looks around, her eyes finally landing on a stoic looking woman, who, if Peridot recalls correctly, she saw before punching a very suspicious man in the face.

“Amethyst.” The woman says in an even tone, with a touch of warmth. “I see you are still finding your way in here. Good to see you.”

Amethyst blushes at the reference to her sneaking in.

Garnets eyebrows raise behind a pair of shades when they find there way to Lapis.

“Lapis,” she says.

"I didn't know you came here." Lapis says in a shrill tone.

Garnet shrugs, "it's across the street from the station." She smiles, "and the people here are never bad."

Peridot glances at Lapis who shuffles her feet and touches her wrist. “And uh, thanks again. For last time."

“It was my pleasure,” she says calmly as she examines the pair of them, “I’m just glad I was there when I was.”

Peridot leans in, “what happened to that guy?”

Garnet shakes her head, “he ran off after you two drove away. I thought I scared him enough for awhile at least.”

“I haven’t seen him around.” Lapis says somberly.

Garnet nods, “It’s good to see you’re doing alright.”

“Uh, what is that happened?” Amethyst asks blankly as she looks between all of them.

“I’ll tell you in a bit.” Lapis says with a wave of her hand.

Peridot clenches her fists, “If ever see him again…”

Garnet chuckles, “I’m Garnet Williams.” She puts her hand out towards her, Peridot looks around to see if it was her she was addressing. 

“Uh, Peridot.” She says as she takes her hand.

She smiles, and Amethyst gushes about Garnets band.

“Oh man, they are so good. Garnet is the bomb and Made of Love is literally the best band on the circuit, you guys have no idea.”

Garnet shakes her head, “it’s nothing.”

Peridot had gathered that Garnet was both in a band and a firefighter. Peridot nervously glanced at her girlfriend several times to make sure she wasn’t writing a ‘goodbye forever I am going to go date this hot mysterious person, peace.’

Lapis didn’t seem to be doing that. Yet.

Peridot glances at her, “you seemed to be saved by the right person.” She whispers.

“Huh?” Lapis wasn’t listening. Peridot’s eyes follow her line of sight until they land on a large woman with wild pile of pale hair and a sultry look on her face. She seemed to be hitting on some little hipster-looking girl with blue hair covering her thin face.

Peridot’s eyes go wide, “who’s that?” She thinks she knows who it is.

Lapis scowls, “Jasper.” She crosses her arms.

Peridot feels a wave of hostility towards the other women. And a hope Lapis wasn’t actually into huge women that could probably eat Peridot and then have room for dessert.

Jasper must have been able to feel them staring at her, she looks up and her face breaks into a manic smile as she spots Lapis and Peridot.

“Laz!” Lapis seems to shrink down and glower as Jasper makes her way over to the four of them.

Amethyst leans over, “you guys know Jasper? How do you literally know everyone?”

“It’s a small gay world.” Lapis says darkly.

Peridot starts feeling her skin prickle, this was too many people and not enough Pearl.

“If it isn’t my favorite killjoy and some sort of eccentric posse.” Jasper looks around at them, her hands on her hips.

“Don’t you have some children to scare or puppies to shave?” Lapis retorts and Peridot feels a sudden urge to separate them like misbehaving hostile cats.

“Yeah,” Jasper suddenly turns to leer at Peridot, “is she scared yet?”

Peridot immediately feels the need to bite her nose off, or at least insult someone's mother in detail, “you want to rub those two brain cells you have together and say that again?”

Jasper gives a booming laugh, “feisty. I knew liked feisty, but,” she peers down, “never quite so small.”

Peridot goes to look her in the eye and growl.

Lapis coolly shrugs, “I thought I might move onto someone I could actually cuddle with instead of be flattened by. And share things with. And have fun and not feel like dragging to the bottom of the ocean and then store under a ship anchor.”

Jasper rolls her eyes but then chuckles to herself, “I’m just playing with you,” she opens her arms wide, "let me buy you all a drink!”

Peridot doesn’t trust that, but Amethyst is cheering and Garnet is shrugging, obviously accepting the gesture.

Peridot watches the corner booth, waiting for Pearl.

Meanwhile, Amethyst snatches them a booth and Jasper buys them beers as they settle down around a square table.

Peridot pretends to drink the beer and Jasper seems to aggressively try to flirt with Garnet across from them.

Amethyst snorts and whispers to Peridot, “that chick is barking up the wrong tree.”

“Huh?” Peridot tries to pay attention to what they are all saying.

“Garnet isn’t into people like that.”

“No one is into Jasper like that.” Lapis contributes in a loud-whisper.

“Nah, what I mean Garnet is aro-ace my guy.” Peridot snickers to herself as she watches Jasper ask desperately what Garnet’s star sign is. It’s like watching a large puppy fumble over itself.

“That’s cool.”

Peridot is still looking at the corner booth.

“So,” Jasper turns to Peridot, “how did you wrangle in my girl over there?”

“I’m not your girl,” Lapis bites back, “and she did it by being a halfway decent person.”

“Ah,” Jasper takes a sip of her beer, “good in bed then blondie?”

If Peridot had actually been sipping her drink she would have spit it out at that moment.

“Wow,” Lapis jumps in, “none of your business.”

Jasper is laughing to herself, “watch out for this one,” Jasper winks and points at Lapis, “she bites.”

Peridot shakes her head, “how did you two even date?”

Lapis looks away, Jasper slaps a hand on the table and laughs, “ _I_ was good in bed, that’s the answer.”

Peridot’s cheeks tint red and she squirms from side to side.

Jasper was giving her a wicked grin, “you really didn’t tell her?”

“I didn’t see the need to.” Peridot watches as Lapis picks at her nails.

“What?” Peridot finally ventures.

“We both got put in a holding cell for a night,” Lapis looks decidedly at her lap, Peridot’s eyebrows lift-off, “it got hot.”

Peridot scowls, “like I care.” She sort of cared. Since she had made a negative amount of moves on Lapis in that way.

Amethyst looks between, “wow, this is awkward.” She says loudly.

“Agreed.” Garnet chimes in. “Thanks for the free beer, but-”

“No, no, honey, we can play a game. No more Lapis talk, promise.”

“Talk is cheap, let’s play Lapis kicks your ass.” Lapis was bawling up a fist and raising up, Peridot puts a hand on her girlfriend's shoulder.

Lapis glances at her and then relaxes back down, she massages her back.

“Easy now.”

“SO,” Amethyst says loudly, “who here would get axed first in a horror film?” It was a mischievous question, meant to distract.

“Jasper.”

“Jasper.”

“Hey,” she looks around, “well blondie would be the killer. It's always the small ones.”

Peridot flashes a pointed grin, “we finally agree on something.”

Jasper blinks for a moment and then breaks into a rowdy laugh, "you're not too bad."

Peridot blinks, not sure what to do with her approval, her eyes however travel back to the back of the room, “oh!” She sits up straight, “Pearl.”

“Pearl,” Amethyst repeats and she seems to light up too.

“Dibs at talking to her,” Peridot scrambles out of the booth.

"Awe," Amethyst says, her lips forming a pout. Peridot ignores that and makes her way to the bar. She orders one martini and skitters over to the booth where Pearl is.

The willowy women seemed to be drowning her sorrows in the bottom of her own martini glass, every last sorrow that might exist, slumping against the plastic purple booth seats.

Peridot takes a deep breath and hopes her girlfriend didn’t get into fist-fights while she was away.

She approaches Pearl slowly, “hello.” She greets creakily.

Pearl looks up and squints her eyes, “Peridot.” She says slowly, she looks around, “are you…?" She looked confused.

“Can I get you a drink?” She begins.

Pearl squawks a laugh, “I’m sorry but, I don’t think I’m interested in you like that.” She looks her up and down, “no offense.”

Peridot shakes her head, “me neither. No offense. I have a girlfriend.” The words feel like a warm light glowing from out her mouth. Girlfriend.

“You?” Pearl seemed surprised and scratches the back of her neck.

“Yes, me. I could get a girlfriend.”

Pearl seems to smile, “that’s very nice Peridot.”

“Can I get you that drink?”

Pearl sighs, “fine. But I don’t want to hear about any of your bosses mess.” She sniffs.

Peridot takes a seat across from her, “actually I don’t want to talk about my boss either.”

“Oh?” Pearl raises one fine eyebrow and takes a sip of her martini.

“In fact, I would like to hear a lot more about Rose Quartz.”

Pearl breaks into a wide grin, “scab” she mouths, Peridot nods. “Well, Mrs. Quartz is always lovely,” Pearl briefly gushes about her bosses and Peridot starts to put together why she’s drinking.

“And you just have to see the numbers!” Pearl says, color raising in her cheeks as she takes on her third drink.

“You know,” Peridot says smoothly, looking up pointedly, “I’m very good with numbers.”

Pearl claps her hands together. “Yella Diamond’s assistant...” Pearl murmurs to herself as she starts to think, “what’s your degree in again?”

Peridot feels herself glow, this might actually work. “Computer Science.” She says quickly and puffs her chest out, “I graduated Summa Cum Laude.”

Pearl seems to think, Peridot feels giddy, “I’m the hardest worker you’ll ever see.”

“But you are," Pearl seems to talk to herself, struggling with something, "difficult."

Peridot frowns, “you’ll never have to see me.”

"Hmm," Pearl taps her chin and then smiles, “why not? It will boost morale to have that devil women's personal assistant coming to our side.”

Peridot pumps her fist in the air, “let me get you another drink.”

Pearl hiccups, and Peridot tries to ignore the yelling coming from behind them.

"You know," Pearl says thoughtfully, "this might antagonize her."

"Who cares?" Peridot cheers and takes a fiery gulp of her own martini for the first time. It burns like victory. "I don't care."

Pearl shakes her head and tells her again about how Rose Quartz dedicated herself to all sorts of causes, and the salmon dress she wore last Sunday, Peridot nods along while not wholly listening.

She had a chance to collect her life again. Her head starts to swim from the drink, and she tries to ignore Lapis across the room. Yelling at Jasper.

Uh-oh.

Peridot jumps to her feet, "one second Pearl, I have to check on something."

"Here is my business number." Pearl says and hands her sheet of paper. Peridot takes it absentmindedly.

She makes it across the room in a hurry.

"You're the one who would never put the milk away!"

"Oh please, you blew everything up, you were a drama a queen."

"I'll show you dramatic!" Lapis pushes on her broad chest, she was uneasy on her feet. They had been drinking.

"You're cute Laz," Jasper stumbles backwards, "but I don't want to make out right now."

"Make out?!"

Jasper winks, "I know your signs."

Lapis eyes go wide and then she decks her.

"Oh no," Peridot runs over, just in time to watch Jasper to go down as Lapis punches her. Peridot groans, of course her gf was one aggressive chick. 

"Oof," Jasper glowers as falls to her backside, she rubs her elbow, "oh it's like that."

Peridot steps in between them, "let's not do this."

Lapis growls, "she started this."

"I'm going to need you to leave." A soft-spoken women approaches them with a gold name tag that says 'manager.'

Peridot takes Lapis's hand and drags her out of the bar, leaving Jasper on the floor looking ruffled. The air hits them in a cool gust and Peridot turns on Lapis swiftly.

"What was that-mmph." Lapis dips her into a dizzying kiss. Peridot pushes her away, "what was that?"

"She just, she just, ugh." Lapis stomps her foot on the ground and starts to speed walk. 

"Lapis," Peridot trails after her, "Lapis slow down."

"She's just the worst!" Lapis walked faster, Peridot caught up to her, latching on to her wrist.

"Punching people...Is frowned upon."

Lapis huffs a sigh, "I know." She stops in place and she scrunches her eyes shut as if to block out the world, "I know." She yanks on her own hair, hard.

Peridot reaches for her head, taking her hand and lacing their fingers together gently, and tries to walk her home, let her walk off the fumes coming out of her ears.

Lapis was a fircracker alright. She kisses her in the doorway like lighter fluid and fireworks, she lets her whisper about the burning in her veins and how tired she was. Peridot pets her hair and takes her inside.


	24. U-Hauls and Other Speed Issues

Lapis thinks she’s getting worse. Or at least, that’s what she concludes when she glances at the clock and it’s 5 in the morning.

She would be banging her head on the wall and watching the best infomercial television has to offer (from fab to flab in five minutes with the ab-electro-magneto-muscle-buster), she would be rolling around if it wasn’t for Peridot’s head resting on her chest.

Yes, it was a good feeling, yes it made her glow from the inside out like a celestial sun, no it did not make her any more able to doze off.

In fact, she thinks her brain went into overdrive when Peridot curled up against her side like a milk-warm trusting cat that, and all that was left for Lapis were her buzzing thoughts and Peridot, Peridot, Peridot. She was such a small and fussy cat, Lapis wanted to guard or something.

Lapis stared at her like a modern art piece that was 'trying too hard,' and Lapis, absorbed the little pitter-patter of her steady heart beat. That is until she felt Peridot’s breath became uneven little hiccups.

Lapis furrows her brow, “are you awake again?” She whispers into the dark.

Peridot shifts her weight and her green eyes glow in the dark, “are _you_ asleep yet?”

Lapis snorts and kisses her on the head, “your interview isn’t until a day after this. You don’t have to keep waking up every hour.”

Peridot frowns, “I thrive off being on the edge,” she tangles their legs together, “when my senior honors thesis was due I lived off of redbull and the pure motivation to punch my professors in the face. Academically.”

Lapis laughs, her chest shaking, “how did I get such a cool girlfriend? Who will also be awake with me at crazy hours of the night.”

“Some people are just lucky...Though,” she frowns, “we shouldn’t keep doing this.”

“Oh I know.” Lapis murmurs and the light of the dawn peaks over the edge of the window and plays across her face. Lapis looks outside, “we should go somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

Peridot reaches her hand up, like a child and touches the light on Lapis’s cheek. “Nothing is open.”

Lapis tilts her head to the side, “I know where we can go.” She buries her face in Peridot’s wild hair, “and it will help you relax too.”

“I’m never relaxed.”

She snorts, “I love you.” They both freeze, Lapis’s heart stutters like a car engine trying to talk to its crush, “In a…” she bites her lip, “gal pal way. Buddy. Friend. Ally.”

It was too early, it was too soon. Lapis must be a tired idiot, because she was rushin-.

Peridot is kissing her fiercely on the lips, pressing her whole body on top of her like she was trying swallow her whole. She kisses her like a hot meteor crashing into the earth, until she pulls back to breath.

“M-me too.” She stammers, and they kiss until the sun is lighting the entire bed and Lapis is dizzy.

“Alright, alright,” she laughs as Peridot tries to push off the little clothes Lapis still has on.

“No, no.” Peridot kisses her clavicle, and then her sternum.

“I want to take you somewhere!” She protests.

“ _This_ will help me relax too.”

Lapis pushes her face away, “if you love me let me go.” She kisses her on the nose, “it’s my favorite place. Or close enough.”

Peridot shakes her head as Lapis separates them, “you owe me one.”

“Oh you get free sexy cards for the rest of your life.”

Peridot blinks slowly, “for the rest of my life?”

 _Idiooooooooot_ , Lapis freezes and tugs on her fingers, “as a buddy. Pal. Comrade.” She says nervously and Peridot is giggling and kisses her on the shoulder. Lapis mentally chastises herself, she had to stop insinuating these things.

Soon they would be getting a lesbian U-Haul truck and it would all be too late. She’d scare her away.

Lapis finally gets up after shaking Peridot off and looks through her drawer for some actual clothes. Peridot brushes her teeth in the next room over and they get ready quickly. Lapis wolf whistles at Peridot as she tries on Lapis’s bathing suits.

“Stop whistling, you’ll wake everyone up.” Peridot was blushing.

“Too bad,” She winks at her and yells out the window playfully, “my girlfriend is hot! Everyone should know!”

“Ugh,” Peridot groans.

“Shut up!” Someone yells from a room over and Lapis is laughing herself silly.

“So is mine!” Another guy is yelling out his window and Lapis is besides herself, Peridot is tugging on an oversize shirt.

“Can’t believe you wolf whistle me, much less have a bathing suite that fits me.” Peridot looks at herself in the mirror, the blue bikini showing through the thin shirt.

Lapis wipes her eyes and turns to her again, “it shrunk in the wash.”

“Right.” She replies in dead pan.

Lapis got her own one-piece on and starts to shove them out the door with a hastily made lunch.

“Alright, alright, take me to your favorite pool already.” Peridot grumbles as Lapis yanks her down the stairs.

“Not a pool! Get ready for a looong drive.” Peridot’s eyes go wide but she nods and takes them to her car.

They drive with some loud music blaring and Lapis helps Peridot practice for her job interview.

“So Peridot,” Lapis sits up straight and pretends to be Rose Quartz, “on a scale of one to beautiful and stunning, how would you rate your girlfriend?”

Peridot rolls her eyes as she drives them out of the city, “gay. And a dork.”

“Correct answer!” She crows, “now what do you want for your birthday and who is your favorite member of One Direction?”

Peridot shakes her head, “I want real questions, and Niall Horan. Obviously.”

Lapis laughs and claps her hands together, “both of those answers are wrong. The answer, is Lapis jumping out of a giant cake in the nude, and Justin Timberlake.”

Peridot scowls at her, “I will make us listen to their new album the whole way there.”

“God, you're such a nerd, and yet you like music trash.”

“Only snobs don’t like pop music.” She counters.

They have a very intense radio-station changing altercation ending with several blastings of ‘Dirty Orchestra’ and pop music ballads involving Ke$ha.

They ironically settle on vaporwave in the end.

The trip takes two hours and Lapis begins to ask her real questions by the end, “what is your experience?”

“With a witch women who sucks the blood out of children to survive.”

“And why do you want to work for us?”

“You're a glowing pink lady with money. Why wouldn’t I?”

Lapis chuckles and then nudges her, “turn here.”

“Oh.” Peridot says softly as they approach a large lake flushed with green and surrounded by rolling waves of sand.

Lapis vibrates with excitement, “Midland Reservoir!”

Peridot shakes her head, “Our three way relationship with the water is certainly something.”

“Park anywhere.” Lapis stays on task and they get out of the car and into the early morning light, Lapis had picked a good day to drag them out of the city, it was finally a warm spring.

Lapis immediately wades into the water as Peridot sets up their things.

She throws off her clothes and paddles around.

“It’s warm!” She calls over.

“That’s suspicious.” Peridot calls back. Lapis rolls her eyes and swims to the buoys and then back, and then to the buoys again. She does several laps in the dusty water and it's light and heady and all she really needed in life, honestly. 

Peridot cheers her on while reading a book, and Lapis has a very sudden feeling of _forever_. Of long term. She swallows the notion and goes back on land, collapsing next to Peridot in the sand.

“We should name the kids Sand and Fish.” She says a she stretches out besides her, “Fish is the favorite, but we can’t tell them that.”

“I thought our daughter was Dott?” Peridot says absently without looking up from her book.

Lapis yawns widely. “Dott is good too.” Her witty banter somehow dies in her mouth as drowsiness sinks in from the sun-soaked landscape.

“You should put on sunscreen.” Peridot informs with a sniff, finally looking up from her coding book or fantasy novel or whatever it was.

Lapis shakes her head, “don’t need it. Sunscreen is for nerds.”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, but soon finds a pair of little hands on her, “too bad. It’s 80 degrees out.”

Peridot forces her to roll over and she slathers on white lotion into her skin while mumbling to herself about irresponsibility. Lapis lets her.

Lapis’s muscles unwind under the water, and sun and Peridot’s steady little digits over her skin. She drifts off into something dark and deep, like sinking into the bottom of a lake.

**************

Lapis hears the sound of kids yelling and chattering voices, she is dragged back from a dreamless state.

She rolls over and rubs her eyes before opening them to a cloudless sky, she straightens up, “what time is it?” She gasps.

Her eyes dart up to find Peridot’s, who was still sitting besides her on the towels.

“3:45.” She informs her and Lapis tugs at her own hair and groans.

“I slept through our whole romantic outing.” _I’m a mess_.

Peridot pats her leg, “it’s fine. I like to see you sleep.” She smiles and Lapis digs her nails into her thighs even deeper.

Peridot stretches out on her back and lets out a deep sigh, “I feel more relaxed anyway.”

Lapis lies down beside her and tries to squelch the tightness in her gut. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

Peridot bends down and kisses her cheek, “I can’t imagine it any other way. Really, you finally dead asleep is like my fantasy.”

They lie in a companionable silence as kids and seagulls rotate around them in shifts.

Lapis curses at herself for still being tired and bites the inside of her cheek to not fall asleep again.

“Hey Lapis.” Lapis looks up, Peridot is watching her, she puts her hand out and Peridot takes it and threads their fingers together.

“Yeah?” She finally asks huskily.

Peridot looks at her and then back at the sky, “I think...I should tell my mom. I want to tell my mom.”

“About the rash on your back?”

Peridot kicks at her, “no. About being, you know.”

Lapis smiles weakly, “queen of the gays with a side of gay and snapbacks and lumberjack shirts.”

Peridot rolls her eyes, “that I have a ridiculous girlfriend. Who I am into.”

“How into?”

She bounces her eyebrows up and down, “really into.”

Lapis takes a deep breath, “how will she take it? Are you guys like, religious or in love with Chick Fil a or anything?”

Peridot shrugs and looks away from her, “my family is Jewish, but we are not really practicing.” She murmurs.

“You ate bacon yesterday, you sinner.”

“Exactly.” Peridot quirks a half smile, “also I think my dad already knows. He caught me cutting pictures of models out of Sixteen magazine when I was in highschool. Plus, he’s actually observant.”

Lapis smiles at the image. “And your mom?”

Peridot cringes, “she’ll...be _involved_. If not offended I didn’t outright spout rainbows out of my mouth the second I noticed Kristen Stewart looking like...Kristen Stewart.”

“Do I look like Kristen Stewart?”

She nuzzles her, “I think I can see a resemblance.” She says with a blush and Lapis kicks up sand in celebration.

"Victory!" But Peridot is frowning again and she seems to think and Lapis rests her head on her shoulder, “what ever happens. It will still be alright.”

She heaves a sigh, “I know. I mean, I _know_...I just sort of want to share you with everyone.”

Lapis smiles at her, “are you sure?” She says in a teasing voice. "I'm sort of me all the time."

Peridot curls into her and they face each other, “oh yeah.”

They kiss for a moment curled up on the beach and Peridot puts both her hands in her own. “What about your parents?” She ventures.

Lapis thinks for a moment, “My mom is a hardcore Catholic. But...I’m like the light of her life, and I could probably stab a man and she would yell at him for being in my way.”  
Peridot nods slowly.

“I already told her when I was 16, but I don’t she _got_ it. And I never introduced her to Jasper, so I don’t think she ever thought it was like, real.” They are somber for a second.

Peridot looks up shyly through her lashes at her, “would you introduce me to her?”

Lapis taps their foreheads together, “of course!”

They nod in a mutual understanding, Peridot wasn’t Jasper.

“And you can meet my aunt. She’s an artist, so she obviously she gets it. All artists are at least 45% gay anyway.”

Peridot raises an eyebrow, “I don’t think that’s true.”

“I’ve done the math!”

She chuckles and then pulls her into a firm embrace. This was real. She kisses her fully on the mouth and someone yells at them to get a room.

They laugh and finally leave the drooping beach to the car again.

"We're going to get sand all over my car." Peridot complains as Lapis tries to brush herself off.

"It will just remind you of a nice day we had!" She chirps and Peridot shakes her head.

They get into the vehicle and drive home, making plans to finally hold a dinner for their families, get a job for Peridot and let Lapis rest for once for a regular time (but that was on the back burner).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! If you like the story please don't forget to kudo, comment or/and bookmark :)


	25. At Least Not the IT Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy mothers day!

Peridot drummed her fingers on the top of their linoleum kitchen island anxiously, her feet tapping on her stool repeatedly.

“So you’re saying you have an interview with Rose Quartz today?” Her mom turns to her, honey hair flipped up into her signature bun and a blue tooth sticking out of her ear. She parried from one side of the kitchen to the other to prepare a breakfast for Peridot and her ‘friend.’

“Yeah, Ma,” Peridot answered distractedly, “at 4.”

“And you still wanted to see your old mom before the big moment? That’s so sweet.” Her mom coos at her and cracks an egg into a sizzling pan.

“Well, there is something I wanted to tell you as well…” Peridot was already nervous about her interview, but she had to do this, it was weighing on her chest like a stone already.

“Shoot away, honey, I haven’t got a phone conference for another hour.”

Peridot bites her lip and takes a deep breath, “my girlfriend...She, her name is Lapis, she’s coming here.” Peridot jumbles the words in her mouth but powers through, smiling to herself when she finishes.

“That’s nice sweetheart, you already told me that you know,” her mom replies absently, “And I’m happy we can company this time around, your father is always such a bore at coming to breakfast. I’m always eating alone!” Her mom complains and Peridot sits up straight.

“It is? It’s um, nice?”

“Of course honey bunch, I’m so glad you're making some more friends.” She replies and throws some onions into the eggs.

Peridot wilts in her seat and stares at her limp hands, _gal pal zoned_ she curses.

She opens and closes her mouth like a fish sucking in heteronormativity and her own mousiness. Her mom was like a force of nature, shining brightly and making Peridot hunch over and kick the kitchen islentet.

“Where is this Lapis anyway? Omelettes are ready soon, and Natz the nasty needs me to get her paperwork sorted by midday.” Her mom shakes her head, “you’ll never be-lieeve this women Peri honey, you getting out of the personal assistant business is for the best really, it’s a dog eat dog world and my Peri was not really the type…” Her mother goes off and Peridot glances at her phone.

Lapis was a half an hour late.

Peridot texts quickly,

Me

10:45

>>Where are you???

 **Ridiculous Ocean Humper** (Lapis edited her own contact)

10:45 >……

Me

10:46

>> my mom thinks we are the best bff’s of all time... I can’t do this alone

**Ridiculous Ocean Humper**

10:46> I’m outside…

Peridot jumps up from her seat, “I’ll be right back Ma’.” She says quickly and turns on her heels to the door.

Her mom waves her off, “my daughter, always rushing off, wait one second.” Her mom sashays over to her as she finishes the omelettes. “I’ll say it before your little friend gets here, and I won’t have to embarrass you in front of her.”

“What?” Peridot says while glancing at her phone.

“I just wanted to say, I’m so proud of you.” She pushes Peridot’s hair back and kisses her on the forehead, Peridot’s gut tightens and she feels herself go pale.

“Hold that thought Ma.” Peridot says quickly.

“What?” Her mom raises an eyebrow, “I just want you to know it, my daughter, working for Yella Diamond and then Rose Quartz! A go-getter.”

Peridot cringes, she had to say if before anyone got carried away, “I’ll be right back.” She goes for the door.

“Also, your roots are showing honey!” Her mom tuts after her as Peridot heads for the door and a waiting Lapis.

Peridot bursts out the front door and finds Lapis sitting on the stoop with her back turned and head hanging low.

“What are you doing?” Peridot asks slowly as she approaches.

Lapis jerkily looks behind her, “nothing.” She whispers, her voice was hoarse and her eyes tinged with red. Peridot feels sick to her gut.

“Lapis...” She says helplessly. Lapis looks back down at her hands and Peridot takes her seat next to her, “what’s up?” She tries to ask casually.

Lapis sniffs and then laughs hollowly, “Beyonce’s Lemonade...is just so good.” She looks up with a watery grin, “I’ll never be the same. I was permanently altered from our Queen’s presence on this planet.”

Peridot chuckles lowly, “okay, but did it put you in some sort of stupor?” Her eyes soften, “I’d really like you to meet my mom. She’s honestly not so bad under all the backhanded compliments and being a busy body.”

Lapis snorts, “don’t sell her too hard.”

“No really! She’ll love you.”

Lapis clenches her fists as they sit in the weak light of a cloudy Monday and Peridot watches Lapis swallow.

“I’m not…” Lapis rubs the bags under her eyes, “Peridot I’m a 24 year old grocer who hasn’t slept in three days…” Lapis curls up into herself, Peridot blinks, she wasn’t use to seeing her vulnerability. “I mean it’s obviously no big deal, I just, I'm not good at...”

“Lapis,” She says softly and Lapis sighs deeply.

“Really, we should just lie our tails off, so I won't just be your punk girlfriend who dropped out of school.”

“It doesn’t matter! Everything about you, is so good,” Peridot’s cheeks heat up, her brain tries to bring up ‘romantic confessions to make your girlfriend feel better,’ but all that came up was the Meow Mix theme song. “You’re funny and pretty and you're my favorite, uh, you.”

Lapis laughs, “I know you like me, or you better, but let’s _at least_ tell your mom I’m a secret agent working for the CIA and seduced you on a mission to get Diamond industry secrets.”

Peridot rolls her eyes, “we’ll first have to get over the hurdle or ‘gay, gay, gayMcGay, hey mom, so lesbian for this chick,' first.”

“And then Burt Macklin comes out!” Lapis makes a gun with her hands and quotes Parks and Rec.

Peridot puts a hand on her shoulder, “just be yourself, okay? That’s the one I fell in love with.”

“Love?” Lapis asks in a small voice as she rubs her watery eyes.

Peridot leans in and kisses her on the nose, Lapis wraps her arms around her and kisses her slowly, deeply, on the stoop of her childhood home.

Peridot’s phone rings, she looks down. “That’s my mom.” She announces.

Lapis shrugs and stretches as she stands up, “I ate a bunch of starbursts before I came, so I think it is possible for me to throw up rainbows on her at this point.”

“Come on,” Peridot grabs her by the elbow and guides her into the small mud room before the kitchen.

Peridot takes a deep breath once more and Lapis threads their fingers together, and smiles down at her.

Peridot can feel her own hands shaking ever so slightly but she squeezes her hand and leads into the kitchen.

“There you are!” Her mom crows as three fully made omelettes sit on the kitchen island, “I was getting worried that you ran off after all this trouble I went to.” Her mom pouts as she stares at the two of them.

Peridot glances up at Lapis and then back at her mom, and then to Lapis again who nods at her encouragingly.

“Mom,” Peridot says loudly, “this is my girlfriend.”

Her mom sits down and picks up her fork and knife, “I know bunchkin, she’s very lovely, eat, eat.”

Peridot shakes her head, “no. My girlfriend, like a boyfriend, but a girl…” She says weakly and looks anywhere but at her mom. She looks back in her direction, her mom's eyes had gotten bigger and her mouth turning into a straight line.

Peridot would have turned around and wondered out of the room right then and there, if Lapis hadn't held her hand.

“So you're…” Her mom looks between them, Peridot watches Lapis smile at her.

“Not straight, yeah, Ma’. And I have a girlfriend, and I really like her. Love her.”

“Love.” her mom repeats and then looks around, at the clock, at the three calendars in the room and back at them, “sit, sit then, I insist,” Her mom gestures at the stools and Peridot and Lapis look at one another and take their seats.

Her mom glances between them, she puts out her hand towards Lapis, “I’m Dalia Farid.”

“Lapis Lazuli.” Lapis responds and she shakes her hand as Peridot picks up her fork and knife.

“Lazuli? What a nice name.” Her mom looks at Lapis pointedly and Peridot groans internally.

“My family is Filipino, though the name itself is from some immigration hijinks back in the day with my father's family.” Lapis says politely and with a touch of humor and Peridot wants to hug her for it.

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe the trouble Peridot’s grandfather went to from Iran, to Israel, to the slums all the way to America,” her mom puffs out her chest and Peridot relaxes, “have you ever heard of the Operation Magic Carpet?”

“No ma’am.” Lapis elbows Peridot and gestures for her to eat, Peridot’s mom launches into a history lesson in her usual boisterous manner.

Peridot slowly defrosts, eases into eating her omelette quietly.

Lapis ‘hmms’ and nods along and Peridot almost doesn’t want her to humor her mom. Finally, her mom's face falls again at the end of the meal.

“Now,” her mom frowns, “let’s have it. Miss Lazili,” she leans towards Lapis, “what are your intentions towards my daughter?”

Peridot watches as Lapis sits up straight in place, “the best ma’am. Good intentions only. No dragging her into drugs or fruity alcohol drinks or Andy Warhol art.”

Her mom laughs, a pleasant sound, and Peridot thanks the heavens and buddha and definitely whatever forces made Lapis.

“Good!" She puts her hands on her hips, "Now, have you two slept together?” She asks sharply.

“Ma'!” Peridot’s cheeks heat up.

“Sort of.” Lapis answers slowly.

“Lapis!” Peridot turns on Lapis next, mortified. This was her mom.

“Sort of?” Her mom leans in.

“Well, ma’am, I don’t think you want to know the details, but I brought her flowers in the morning to say the least.”

“Did you use protection?”

“ _God._ ” Peridot moans and buries her face in the crook of her arm.

Lapis shakes her head, “I mean...we can’t get pregnant.”

“That’s no excuse! My Peridot is very sickly, an STD could put her life on the line.”

Peridot bangs her head on the hard table, “we’ll both get checked, okay?” She says morosely.

“That’s not good enough,” her mom clucks at them like a mother hen and they both guiltily look away, “I’m googling gay condoms right now.” Her mom declares.

“Kill me.” Peridot whispers to the ceiling.

“Joseph!” Her mom calls to the stairs, “come down here! We need to have a second talk with our daughter.”

Lapis looks at her and mouths the word ‘sorry,’ Peridot glowers at her.

Peridot hears footsteps coming down the stairs, “what is it darling?”

“I’m canceling my 12 O’clock, we have news.”

Her father walks into the kitchen in nothing but a short robe and hairy legs, Peridot sees Lapis laugh behind her hand.

“Our daughter is gay.” Her mom announces and her father looks between all three of them.

“I know.” He says slowly.

“You did?” Her mom's eyes go wide.

“I caught her cutting out female models from those magazines and putting them in a notebook titled 'GIRLS, DON'T OPEN' plus she told us boys were ‘icky’ at least every year when you asked why she wasn’t going to prom.” Her father says reasonably in his slow tone.

Peridot wrinkles her nose, “And prom is lame.”

Lapis laughs, “you were such a scene kid I bet. Did you go to anti-prom?”

Peridot doesn’t respond and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Who’s this?” Her dad turned to Lapis.

“Lapis Lazuli.” She announces.

“You would know if you came to breakfast on time, this is her little girlfriend!”

Her father chuckles and comes over and shakes Lapis’s hand, “nice to meet you, daughter’s girlfriend.”

“Your brother will be so surprised.” Her mom declares.

“He already knows too.” Her father counters as her pours himself some coffee and Peridot groans.

“What?” Her mom and father bicker and Lapis smiles at her with all her teeth.

“This is cute.” She whispers.

When the house finally calms down Peridot turns to her mom again, “so,” she stares her in the eye, “you’re okay with this?”

Her mom's gold eyes land on her, her face goes soft, “Peri, honey,” Her pushes her hair back from her forehead, “Yes, we want the best for you." Peridot lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I’m just happy you didn’t end up with one of those ugly IT boys you went to school with!” Her mom announces.

Peridot huffs, “not exactly nice, Ma.”

Lapis is clapping her hands in delight, “you are a treat Dalia.” Peridot grumbles in Lapis's direction to not encourage her.

“No seriously, your girlfriend is sweet, and cute too," Her mom loud-whispers at her, "not at all like those stuffy boys at your college.”

Lapis blushes at the mention of her and Peridot wonders how she imagined this was going to go anyway. And how oddly normal it felt.

“Of course I wanted grandchildren,” her mother muses, “but any wedding will do.”

Peridot and Lapis exchange a look, “it is a little too early to plan for that.”

“I love weddings.” Her mom says assertively.

“She really does.” Her dad confirms.

Peridot hops up from her seat, “we maybe should go, you have more work and I have to prepare for my interview.”

Lapis nods and her mom shakes your head, “you have to come back soon then, I have to know all about Miss Lazuli.”

Lapis freezes and Peridot takes her hand, “she’s great. There is a lot to know.”

Her mom cheers and Peridot tries to lead them out the door before they get anymore questions or ‘when will you do science magic and pop out a mixed-race gaybie (baby of the gays).’

Lapis was hanging her head when they got to the door and Peridot was putting on her shoes.

“Peridot,” her mother calls after her and Peridot turns at the sound of her name, “Peri, honey.” Her mom comes over to drag her aside, her busy eyes going still for a moment, “I am so proud of you.”

Peridot hugs her mom and she’s wiping her eyes of moisture when she goes out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally much more angsty, but then I was like 'nah,' there are like a lot of stories like that, so I went for something I hoped was more in the middle
> 
> Peridot's mothers comments on IT boys do not reflect the authors and are her own


	26. Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: ACCIDENTAL OVERDOSE  
> First of all I would like to start off by saying I’d rather stick my face in a blender then jump the shark with this fic--ie a sudden decline in quality. SO I am very open to listening to people’s takes on the chapter.  
> This was one of the first scenes I ever came up with when conceiving of this fic. One of the first images that compelled me to write.  
> It is on a dark subject matter (please don’t read if you can’t) but I thought a lot about it and it simply fit better with my themes and character arcs I wanted. I wanted to write characters with a sense of humor, ‘quirk’s’, but I didn’t want ‘quirky’ characters. Characters without consequence to their quirks and without substance to their situations.  
> I didn’t want to water down insomnia, water down the consequences of untreated problems like that. It would be unfair.  
> So I wrote what I saw best, but I am open to any critiques, I don't want to ruin the fic for anyone.

_4 am_

Lapis knew she fucked up.

She knew she fucked up when she stared down at the half empty bottle of sleeping pills in her hands.

Her eyes went wide and she swallows dryly, “oh no.” She whispers softly to herself in the dead of the night.

 

4 hours earlier, _12 am_

Lapis flipped to one side of her bed, and then the other side of the bed. She rearranged the blankets before kicking them furiously into the air.

She turned her pillow over to the cool side, waited for it heat up again and then whisper ‘traitor’ into it and flip it over to the new cool side.

She lies on her back and stares up at the ceiling and counted the cracks in the wall, “two...three...four…” She took deep breaths and makes herself close her eyes.

She tossed and turned until she was tangled in the sheets and almost sore.

She wished her neighbors would throw one of their disco parties or have loud thumping sex up above her, anything as an excuse for why she was up so late.

She holds her head, “ _this is important._ ” She begs to her stubborn brain, “it’s been four days, it’s too much.” She moans and throws a pillow across the room and then turns over and screams into the other one.

“I have work tomorrow, I have Peridot tomorrow, I have my mom coming.” She kicks and feels like a child throwing a tantrum. But at least children could wail themselves into a nap.

Lapis reaches for her floor next to her bed and picks up a white pill bottle, she pops one of her blue King Soopers sleeping pills and lies back down and tries to count to the highest number she can think of. 1, 2, 3....

 

_1 am_

Lapis waited the allotted twenty minutes for the pill to kick in, when her brain was still a bonnet full of bees she slipped another blue pill into her mouth. It was bitter and she swallows quickly.

She turns on the TV and let Friends drone through the apartment for as long as she can justify to herself.

“Joey is such a little bitch…” She murmurs as she rubs her eyes and heart thumps in a way that had to be unhealthy.

She turns the TV off when the colors start to blur together and her head pounds like the beat dropping over and over in a song, she goes to the fridge and finds enough hunks of old cheese to tide her over (a freebie from her favorite store).

She hums to herself and looks into a mirror, “I will pay you,” she mouths at her reflection, “to let me go to sleep.” She takes a large bite out her cheese, “I have shit to do tomorrow.”

Her reflection just drops the crumbly cheese onto her front and she flips it off.

Lapis lies back down, she takes deep breath and wills herself to stay still. Just stay still. Pretend to be asleep, pretend this is all a dream and not a unrelenting pain in her ass.

She doesn’t make eye contact with the white sleeping pill bottle warning label that says ‘only take two.’ Three couldn’t hurt, she pops another one.

 

_2 am_

Lapis was hyperventilating and pulling her own hair out, “what’s wrong with you?” She kicks all of her blankets out of her nest and curls up onto herself, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong with you? What do you want?”

She was aware she may be headed into ‘delusion town’ with a side of ‘neurotic.’

But her vision was blurring, her head ached and yet she still couldn’t sleep.

It was like storing a tidal wave in her frontal cortex: all sound and noise and a force of nature.

She crawls over to her phone, stares at for a good few minutes and then slides it somewhere across the floor.

Peridot was happy with her happy parents and cute set up and Peridot was going places. She had just had the interview the other day, she didn’t need to be bothered by Lapis in the middle of the night. Since Lapis was, Lapis was, Lapis was taking another sleeping pill.

She tries to steady her breathing and sit still but it turns into rocking back and forth on her heels and throwing things at the picture of Danny Devito on the ceiling.

“It’s not funny anymore,” she snaps at his image, the tears start leaking out of her eyes, “ _it’s not funny anymore_. It was funny for like an hour, well now it’s just stupid.” She roars and this time wished someone could hear her. She thought putting Danny on the ceiling would be hilarious, she was having second thoughts.

She throws more things, socks, Kleenex boxes, the remote at the ceiling to get Danny Devito down.

Her aim is shamefully off and she can hear him mocking her with his tiny stature and wild hair.

Lapis ruins her good sweat pants by tripping on them and tearing a hole in the knee.

She cries for an hour over it for no reason.

 

_3 am_

Lapis is sobbing, “I’m impressed, okay? I’m so impressed. We’ve proven it, humans can endure hours and hours of painful lack of sleep, they can endure.”

She holds her sides as she sobs to herself in the dark and Danny Devito does nothing.

She turns to the window by her bed, “Please, please, please,” she pleads with whatever God’s might listen, “I just want to sleep, I just want to sleep…” Nothing but static filled the space between her ears and she repeats it like a mantra, “I just want to sleep. Sleep.”

Her eyes physically ache, her heart feels like it’s skipping beats and playing ‘nick-nack-paddy-wack give the dog a goddamn bone.’

Her fingers shake and she can’t stop crying, “I’m not even on my period.” She complains to the air. “I’m not even old enough to be so fucked.”

She wraps herself in a blanket and could feel a fury rising in her gut. A resolve.

She had work tomorrow. She had Peridot. She had her mom coming.

She undoes the child safety lock on the tiny white bottle, takes a fistful of sleeping pills and shoves them in her mouth, ‘fuck you’ she murmurs at herself as she swallows.

 

_4 am_

Lapis held a half-empty bottle of sleeping pills. Her breathing was light and shallow.

For a second she lay down and felt the tug of a beautiful abyss edging into her consciousness. Then she sat bolt upright in bed.

15 plus sleeping pills were above the recommended dosage, “oh no.” She whispers and holds up the pill bottle. The world swirls before her.

Twenty minutes. Her eyes go wide, she had twenty minutes before they all hit her at once.

Lapis crawled to her computer and typed in ‘shit. Fuck, I just overdosed on sleeping pills.’ Most the entries made her want to cry again.

She makes a more reasonable ‘what do I do lord google??’ entries.

Her breath comes out short and shallow, gasping, and her stomach clenches like it wanted to cave into itself. It wanted to live.

Lapis whimpers and crawls around on her floor on her hands and knees, “phone, phone, phone.” Her words start to slur and her hands find nothing on the cold wood.

She gets to her feet and tries to run to the bathroom, she makes it halfway before puking up blue, blue, blue, like berries. Blue like hydrangea, blue like the sky and blue like song birds wings. Her stomach feels like a cramping meteor burning up in her gut.

“Oh God,” it was hard to breath.

She throws up again, this time in her sink and wipes her face from the mess, “no, no, no,” she holds her sides, and whimpers, then turns her head when she hears footsteps on the stairwell.

She stumbles to the door and into the hallway, she can’t feel her legs and crashes into a young man as she busts into the narrow apartment hall.

His eyes go wide, he had snow white hair, pale blue eyes and some sort of quasi-DJ look going on she would have made fun of if her body wasn’t Ripley's Believe-it or not-you poisoned yourself!

“What the-” he says as she falls into him and he holds her up as she trembles.

“Hospital!” She shrieks and then keels over again pukes all over his orange nike shoes.

“Ew.” He backs away.

“Hospital,” she rasps again as clearly as she can.

The boy tries to pick her up, “Buck!” He calls, “Buck go get your car, the girl in 205 is really sick.”

Lapis wipes the mist out her eyes, “I don’t want to die.” Her fingers shake, he holds her up.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He turns desperately upwards, “guys!”

“What’s up?” A girl's voice answers, but Lapis is fading, her vision going dark at the edges and her body like a cold rock and a distant dream.

“Jenny, come help me…”

Lapis remembers snippets and moments and these young, desperate kids trying to keep her awake on the ride over.

Someone holds her hand when she regains consciousness for just a moment, someone shrill and small and in alien pajamas and angular glasses. She was yelling at the nurses.

But that all might have been in her head.

And it is dark, dark, dark. And blue.


	27. Hold Your Breath

_4:30 am_

Peridot was having an intense dream about going to prom dressed as her 7th grade English teacher, her hair was a clown wig and her classmates were all Jasper in different outfits. Her phone rings when the lockers start to dance.

She kept her cell right beside her bed and grumbled at herself for forgetting to turn it off when she reached for the vibrating beacon of noise.

“Hello?” She rasped into the speaker.

“Uh, hi, Peridot? This is Jenny Pizza.” Peridot blinked a couple times and rubbed her eyes, she forgot she gave the girl her number just in case Jenny needed a job reference.

“Uh, hi.” Peridot says hesitantly.

“I seriously hate to drop this on you, but I remembered you have a friend in the building and you visit her like all the time. And I thought you should know.”

“What?” Peridot sits up straight in bed and wrenches her covers off.

Jenny takes a deep breath from the other end of the line, “well, we just took her to the hospital.”

Peridot almost falls over as she leaps out of bed and reaches for her shoes.

“What happened? Tell me everything.”

“Well she passed out before we could get any real information out of her, but she was throwing up all over the place and Buck found some pulls in her room.”  
Peridot rushes to find her purse, keys, sense of bravery.

“Where did you take her?”

“West Midland Hospital. Doctors said she should be okay, she’s getting her stomach pumped right now.”

“Oh my God.” Peridot tries to scold her fingers for shaking, “I’ll be right down there.”

She rushes out and into her car faster than she could scream into a pillow or kick God’s ass for situations like this.

Peridot probably broke several traffic laws on her way to the city, cursing the whole way and working herself into a fury.

She runs into the emergency room lobby, throwing herself at the receptionist desk.

“Lapis Lazuli.” She yells and holds the wooden desk until her knuckles bleach white.

The nurse looks her up and down, “Lazuli? Let me look.” She says slowly as she turns to their papers on her desk.

“Ah yes,” the nurse says after a long pause and Peridot ready to leap out of her own skin. “The young lady who came in at 4:30, she’s getting a gastric lavage right now.”

“Uh,” Peridot blinks.

“Pumping her stomach. She overdosed on sleeping pills it seems.”

Peridot staggers backward, “when can I see her?” She overdosed on sleeping pills. Overdosed. Images of a casket and her black funeral outfit flash behind her eyes.

“She was awake for the procedure, so that was a good sign, and I can see if she’s awake now for you.”

“Yeah. Thank you,” Peridot says weakly.

She collapses in a nearby chair where a slew of other nervous looking people and patients wait, one coughs violently and Peridot cringes.

Peridot feels like yelling, kicking something over, she almost rips out a magazine page from flipping it so hard.

The nurse returns and Peridot jumps to her feet, the maternally figure nods at her, “she is taking her charcoal right now, but she certainly seems understandably exhausted though.”

Peridot lumbers forward, “I need to see her.”

The nurse raises an eyebrow, “are you family?”

Peridot shifts her weight from foot to foot, “I’m her...No. I guess not.” She deflates and almost begins to throw a tantrum. She wasn’t Lapis’s anything officially. She glances up, “We’re very close.” She finishes.

The nurse looks her up and down, her face softens, “I can let one support person in. But you’ll have to wait until seven when visiting hours begin.” Peridot holds her head in her hands and sighs deeply. “Relax young lady. Read the paper, the Red Sox just won the world series.”

Peridot shakes her head, “I hate sports. And the red sox suck.” She lashes out and the nurse turns away from her in a huff, Peridot feels a twinge of guilt.

Peridot sits down again. Tips and taps her feet, then gets up again and she paces like a she wanted to burn a hole in the floor and tried not to think. Think about what Lapis was doing, what she was _trying_ to do, what Peridot was going to do.

Peridots hair is a rat's nest of blonde messy strands from pulling on it too hard on, and her pajamas look like lime green beacons of weirdness in the middle of the lobby. She doesn’t even have a book with her.

She leaps to her feet when the clock hits 7 and the nurse mutely leads her through winding halls to a side room tucked away in the sterile, sickly place.

“Be gentle with her,” the nurse says delicately, “her psych. evaluating will be in the evening.”

Peridot nods, of course she would be gentle.

She pads into the room silently and her eyes flicker over the unplugged machines in the corner, the IV, the adjustable bed and one blue haired girl in the middle of the room. She was asleep.

Peridot quietly pulls up a seat and takes her hand, it was cold and Peridot bites her lip so hard she’s afraid it might bleed.

“What were you doing Lapis?” She whispers, her voice cracks and she gets no response.

She lays her head by her side and she waits.

_3 pm_

Lapis was still asleep, Peridot had been there all day, and she nervously held her breath, Lapis’s mom was called, Lapis’s mom was coming.

This was not the ideal situation she wanted to meet her under to say the least.

Nonetheless, a broad Filipino woman was soon standing at the door and Peridot is trying to smooth her hair down and look presentable.

“Hello.” Peridot says formally, but the woman isn’t looking at her.

“My sweet girl…” The woman's eyes were watery, folding around the edges, she rushes to the side of the bed, “my baby girl.” She clutches her hand and she expects Lapis to wake up, but her eyes stay dead closed.

Lapis’s mom pulls up a chair to the other side of the bed, and sniffles while holding her daughter's hand.

“Um,” Peridot stares down at the floor. “It will be okay. Dr. Maheswaran said they got to her in time.” Peridot’s shoulder slump, “no liver failure or anything.”

The woman pats at her swimming eyes and frowns at Peridot, “who are you?”

Peridot steadies herself, “I’m her girlfriend.” She says as straightforwardly as she can. “Like, girlfriend girlfriend. Together.” She wanted to be clear this time, no confusion.

“Oh,” Ms. Lazuli says gently. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

Ms. Lazuli sighs deeply, “this is a lot to take in.”

Peridot nods, “take your time…”

She turns back towards her daughter and chokes softly, tears washing over her smooth cheeks. They fall into a silence, a bitter taste takes root in Peridot’s mouth and she isn’t sure what to say.

They sit there in silence, stiffly waiting for Lapis to blink open her sharp gray eyes, or do anything.

Her mom begins to sigh as the hour bleeds to an end, “it’s hard…” Ms. Lazuli relents.

“I know.” Peridot returns tightly.

“No.” Ms Lazuli says, “no you don’t.” She pets Lapis’s hand, “It’s hard not to blame myself...she always got in some trouble, especially after the divorce, and then later with college, but never this. Never like this.” Lapis’s mom frowns deeply, “I just want her to be happy.” Her eyes leak and Peridot looks down at her own hands.

“You raised a good daughter…” Peridot says wistfully, “she’s funny, and smart and pretty and her nose wrinkles when she laughs and she can recite all the lyrics to Hamilton and her smile is like...the best thing.” Peridot wants to reach for her hand. “You did good.”

Ms. Lazuli has a distant look in her eye, then she lifts her head up and stares Peridot in the eye with the same steel gray look as Lapis, “are you in love with my daughter?”

“Yes.” Peridot squeaks after taking a deep breath, “I love her, I love her, I lover her…a lot.” She chokes, her eyes fill with tears for the first time in that 24 hours, she holds her sides. “I love Lapis.”

Ms. Lazuli nods, “that’s all I want.” She stands up, “I’m going to go get some dinner...I haven’t eaten all day, would you like something?”

Peridot shakes her head, she wasn’t sure she could eat right now.

Ms. Lazuli leaves, clutching her purse and cradling her phone to her ear, “Debra,” she whispers, “I don’t know if I can do this…”

Peridot nods and takes a deep breath, her eyes flit up when she watches Lapis stir for the first time, Peridot sits up straight and leans forward.

Lapis blinks her eyes open.

“Lapis…” Peridot jumps to her feet, “Lapis, oh my God.” She reaches for her hand, for her face.

Lapis shys back, “hi…”

“Hello.” She replies breathlessly, “how, why, Lapis.” She touches her face and trails the pads of her fingers across her cheek.

Lapis grabs the hand and holds it to her face, “is my mom okay?” She asks slowly.

“You were awake?” Peridot asks stiffly.

Lapis shrugs, “only for a little… I just wasn’t sure if I could face her yet.” She sighs, “or ever.”

“It’ll be okay.” Peridot kept saying that but she wasn’t what it meant anymore.

Lapis snorts, “sure, sure it will be.”

“It will.”

Lapis brings her knees to her chest and looks small.

“How do you feel?” Peridot finally asks as Lapis holds her knees close.

Lapis’s eyebrows bounce up and down, “like shit.”

Peridot cracks a half grin, “expected.”

“It turns out having a tube down your throat and pumped with saline actually sucks, and kinda hurts.” She massages her throat.

“Do you want anything?” Peridot looks around the room for something, water, soda, the fountain of going back in time.

Lapis shakes her head, “let me tell you about charcoal. I drank it and I never want to drink anything ever again. It’s the protein powder smoothie of satan.” Peridot tries to laugh,

Lapis looks up sadly, “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

Peridot crawls into the bed on her hands and knees and hovers over Lapis, straddling her and pushing them together.

She kisses her like she is wet paper, close to tearing and as soft as cherry blossom petals falling to the earth.

Peridot tries not to cry, but she kisses her and wants time to stop right then and there.

“I’m sorry…” she rasps, “you went through all that.”

Lapis nods and looks away, “I didn’t want to die. If that is your next question.” She hangs her head, “I just wanted to sleep.” Lapis curls up onto herself and starts to shake and Peridot tries to hold her and wipe the wetness away with her sleeve as the other girl cried.

“I love you…” She repeats it like a mantra and kisses her again and again on the head and cheek, Lapis didn’t resist her at first.

“You can’t.” She finally said, “you have to stop. I can’t do it.”

Peridot freezes and Lapis turns over in bed. “If you don’t feel the same...” Peridot goes over the fact she might be too lame anyway.

Lapis shakes, “I...I am sick Peridot. Sick. I don’t know how or why, but I don’t think you want a love like that.”

Peridot crushes her to her chest and doesn’t let her go. “I want it all.”

Lapis laughs and starts to sing, “we could have had it aaallll. Rolling in the deeep.”

Peridot rolls her eyes, "we can still have it all."

Lapis wraps herself around the other girl, "rolling in the deep though?"

"Sure why not."

They sit in silence for a moment until Peridot glances down at her.

“Lapis...Is that a yes? that you will let me, you know.”

“Carry me away from all this?” Lapis swoons, “good sir, won’t you let a lady stand on her own two feet?”

Peridot shakes her head, “I wished you had called me.”

Lapis frowned and deflates, “we can talk about it later.”

“Yeah.”

“And Peridot.”

Lapis rests her head on Peridot’s shoulder as they cram into the hospital bed, “yeah?”

“I love you too.”

Peridot’s hands twitch and she rests her head on top of Lapis’s.

\-------------

Lapis’s mom comes back shortly and tuts at them for being together ‘like that’ and Peridot climbs off her and lets Lapis and her mom have some privacy.

She hangs out in the hallway and hears Lapis complain, “no mom, please don’t read the bible. I know it’s a sin, I know, but that's not a good point, and I wasn’t trying to…”

Peridot goes to go get whatever caffeine they had and inject directly into her veins.

And she finally exhales and pops open a soda. “Do you want to get married?” She whispers into her sprite, “for hospital reasons, so I can visit you...no, that’s stupid.” She curses herself, “Fuck." She takes another deep breath, "We’re going to get married, we’ll do it together, and it will be great.”

She can already see Lapis smirking at her and mouthing ‘liar’ as she laughs and Peridot regrets proposing in a freaking hospital after her girlfriend chugged charcoal and got her stomach pumped.

Peridot sighs and slides down the hospital walls, hoping she doesn’t get sick from all the germs everywhere.


	28. Landing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for...psychologists?

Lapis took a deep breath and finds herself shaking as she rounds the corner of a sterile narrow hallway. The door is open when she makes it to suite 109.

“Howdy!” She shouts and drapes herself on the open door frame when she leans on it, “boy, am I fucked up and here for an appointment.”

She waves sardonically at a little women in the center of the room, the women waves back. She sits in a plush white reclining chair and held a notepad up.

Lapis’s stomach clenches.

“Come in, come in,” The little women gestures for her to sit down warmly.

Lapis shuffles her feet on the carpet and tries to make her way to a couch. A real therapists couch, she wrinkles her nose.

She positions herself awkwardly in the middle of it and stares back at the doctor in the chair in front of her. She had a neat blue dress and white blazer and long light fluffy brown hair tucked into a bun. One of her eyes was glassier than the other as she fixed her with a stunning blue gaze.

“Dr. Williams,” she starts.

“Sapphire.” She reaches out towards Lapis, “you can call me Sapphire.”

Lapis shifts in place and digs her nails into the couch, “Dr. Sapphire, you see, I mean thanks for seeing me first off.” She remembers the concept of manners.

“Of course,” Sapphire sits up tall in her chair, “I am always happy to see someone my Garnet recommends to me.” She smiles serenely and Lapis slumps in the chair.

“And I’m not dissing that,” She says with her hands up, “Garnet is really cool and all, but I am a little…” Lapis searches the air.

“Apprehensive?” Sapphire offers, “of doctors like me. That’s very common, no worries.”

“Uh,” Lapis’s mouth hangs open, “not like that. There are just some problems you can’t talk out, or people who just don’t, uh, fix.” She looks down at her hands so she doesn’t have to see the blue knowing eyes of the doctor anymore.

A silence settles for a moment and Lapis doesn’t know what to do with herself, maybe she had wasted her time.

“Maybe that is the case.” Sapphire declares, which makes Lapis jerk her head up again and pay attention, “but let's talk a little to test it out, alright? There are a lot of ways to help people.”

“Huh.” Lapis closes her mouth.

“And I don’t fix people Lapis.” She says happily, “people aren't vases or television sets, they don’t broke. And whatever you’ve been through.” She puts her notepad down, “it's something everyone has struggled with now and then I'm sure.”

Lapis chuckles darkly, “I don’t know about that.”

“Tell me about it.” Sapphire leans in and Lapis bites her lip.

“Lady, look, I overdosed on sleeping pills.”

Sapphire nods, “go on.”

Lapis blinks quickly, “I overdosed on sleeping pills? It was kind of a big deal.”

“Of course,” Sapphire says maternally, “I know. It was Lapis, please, I would like to hear about it, or you, anything you want to talk about.”

Lapis huffs, “I didn’t want to die, and no it wasn’t because of my parents divorce, or because I dropped out of college." She arches an eyebrow as Sapphire writes something down, "You don’t have to analyze me, I’m just fucked up.”

Sapphire sighs gently, “I’m not analyzing you.” She chirps, “we can start with your day, what you had for lunch. Tell me about yourself, let’s start there.”

Lapis begins her first therapy session with Doctor Sapphire, she tries to resent her deeply, for looking like she knows Lapis, or understanding anything. But resentment was tiring, and at that point, Lapis was still tired. She tells her about her first hair dye and her worst customers, and of course, Peridot.

“Anyway, and my girlfriends this super babe who just got a job for Rose Quartz tech, some sort of data structures storage coding thing she won’t explain to me,” Lapis expresses emphatically, “my mom is also pretty great, she runs a landscaping business in Boston and lives with my aunt who paints.” 

Sapphire kept nodding and Lapis kept talking. “Is that your whole family?”

Lapis shakes her head, “dad, divorced, has a new family, I technically have a half sister somewhere. It’s complicated.”

“Does it bother you?”

Lapis shrugs, “I mean, eleven year old me was pissed as fuck, but you get over it, roll with the punches, so on.” She settles back into the chair.

“Uh-huh.” Sapphire kept staring at her and Lapis tried to keep biting her tongue, but she also hated silence.

“I’ve always had the sleeping problems you know, not just when they separated.” She asserts, “even as a kid I would stay up late and sneak around the house and mess with the cat at three in the morning.”

Sapphire laughs softly, “sounds like fun.”

Lapis bawls up her hands into fists, “yeah, right up until I dropped out of college. Fun.” She spews bitterly.

Sapphire frowns for a second and then watches Lapis intently, “how did that go?”

“Super fucking bad." She crosses her arms and looked out the window, "Stayed up for days, I was always missing class anyway, and to round it off, I slept through two finals in a row and I,” her voice breaks to her own surprise, and she has to stop and breath deeply for a whole ten seconds. Sapphire waits patiently. “Look, I’m just, not okay alright?”

“You seem alright to me.” Sapphire assures her, “in fact you seem like a very charming young lady.”

“I’m not!” She kicks the stool between them roughly, “my mom and aunt saved up all this money for me to go to the state school and I slept through my fucking finals and failed enough classes to never show my face there again.” She rubs at her eyes and curls up into herself, “I work a minimum wage job at a grocery store and my girlfriend deserves...someone else. They all do. I do.” She wilts and wipes at her eyes, waiting for Doctor Sapphire to do anything.

She hands her a tissue.

“I would like to help you Lapis.” She finally says as Lapis shakes for a little while where she sat.

“How?” Lapis grunts.

“Well, it sounds like you worry quite a bit. I think I could help with that, and I would like to see you again.”

“For what?”

“Well, you’ve been through a lot. You sound tired.”

Lapis nods, “you’ve got that right. But that’s kind of a constant state now, like a perma-Lapis, sleep is for the weak and I was born to be, you know, also weak, but very tired at the same time.” She laughs to herself and Sapphire writes something down. “What’s that?” She asks her.

“Would you like to consider some chemical help? I think you might be able to try it and see if you feel any different.”

“Meds?” She cocks an eyebrow up, “for my insomnia? Sleeping pills are kind of what got me here in the first place.”

“Not quite,” Sapphire shakes her head, “Sorry. I said this in the wrong order, but have you considered taking something for anxiety?”

“Anxiety?” Lapis snorts, “I am the most chill person you will ever meet. So chill, cold as ice.”

Sapphire chuckles, “understandable. But anxiety looks different on everyone, it doesn’t have one way it expresses itself."

“And you want to give me meds for it?” Lapis sits back in her chair.

“Think of it like glasses for bad eyesight or insulin for diabetics. It will assist with a physical problem.”

Lapis frowns and squirms in place, “I don’t know. My insurence…”

Sapphire nods, “I can check in with them and then tell you some of your options.”

“Right now?”

“Well, first I would like to see you a few more times before you move forward. But Lapis,” she reaches for out, Lapis gives her her hand and Sapphire squeezes, “it’s not over. Everyone struggles, and we all need help now and then. It will be okay.”

She shakes her head, “How do you know that?” 

Sapphire winks at her, “I can see the future.” Lapis chuckles, “I’m serious! I’m blind in one eye,” she points to her left eye, “that makes me a prophet according to most myths.”

“Well, lemme get my golden fleece then, a few deals with the Gods should make everything okay. Like that sleep one, there’s a sleep one, right?”

“Correct.” She nods, “but lets stick to meds first,” she winks, “Gods are temperamental.”

Lapis rolls her eyes and then squeezes your hand affectionately. “You’re alright Doctor Sapphire...and I think I owe Garnet a drink.”

“I hope you mean milk, my daughter shouldn’t be drinking!” She says sternly and Lapis laughs.

She gets signed up for some Lexapro for her anxiety and goes home to start taking dumb personality tests that match you with your dream job. She gets reporter, she huffs and writes down: 'biologists?, comedian?, Aqua man (except better).' Across a sheet labeled 'possibilities.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12KS: the thrilling adventures in recovery and mental health


	29. Fast Walk

Peridot picked up a brown box with a plant, a little Fallout figurine and two framed pictures, one of her family and one of Lapis (she asked for it special). She blinked out the car window where and took a deep breath.

“I can’t believe how terrible parking is.” She hears Lapis complain as she picked up the other brown box labeled ‘office supplies.’

Peridot shrugs, “some diplomat is in town. But walking all the way to the new office is definitely going to be a pain in the ass.”

Lapis snorts, “at least you gave yourself literally 45 minutes to get there.”

Peridot sniffs, “I don’t like being late.”

“Good!” She chirps and starts walking towards downtown, “come on, it’s the big day.”

Peridot trotted to keep up with Lapis, “it’s like any other day.” She flushes, “Only I have to meet a bunch of new people and get used to their clodding computer systems. I bet it sucks.”

Lapis hip checked her, bumping into her side playfully, “it’s still a big day dude. You got the job. Smile or something.”

Peridot blinks at her, “I always thought I would get the job. I have the credentials.”

Lapis looks into the sun and exhales, “don’t get humble on me now.”

Peridot shrugs, “humility is for monks.” She puffs her chest out, “confidence is for winners.” Lapis laughs rancorously and Peridot pouts at her. “Alright, alright, I get it.”

“No,” Lapis leans down and kisses her on the cheek, “You are a winner.” Peridot blushes from the casual affection, Lapis winks at her, “for now.”

Peridot stands up straight, “I plan on showing Rose Quartz my usefulness and--”

“Traitor!” Peridot stops in her tracks and feels her blood run cold. It couldn’t be. “You’re walking to her right now, aren’t you? Traitor!”

Peridot turns around slowly to see her former boss speed walking towards her in a pants suit.

“Uh-oh.” She curls into herself and grips on to her box tighter.

“Do you want to talk to her?” Lapis asks curiously.

“I would rather jump into an active volcano.” Lapis grabs her elbow with one hand.

“Come on.”

They dash down the sidewalk and away from the clicking of Ms. Diamonds heels, “don’t you run away from me!”

“Walk, walk, walk.” Peridot pushes them forward, gulping and running faster. She glances behind her only to find Ms. Diamond gaining on them. “She’s going to chew me up and spit me out!” Peridot squeaks, “right after she sticks her heel up my ass and calls it couture.”

Lapis pushes her towards a small shop, “I don't think so, that ass belongs to _me_.”

Peridot and Lapis dart into a pleasantly noisy Chinese restaurant and Lapis guides them to the corner seat after waving to someone.

Peridot puts her box down, “I’m going to be late.”

“Let’s just wait until Ms. Diamond leaves then.” She declares and Peridot nods.

But she could see Ms. Diamond crossing the street angrily and Peridot glances around for a contingency plan. “I’m not ready for this.” She murmurs.

“Come on.” Lapis jerks her head to the side and pushes her towards a closet. “This place is vaguely clean. We can hide until she’s gone.”

“Uh,” Peridot wrinkles her nose, but scary ladies called for silly resolutions. They lock themselves in the closet without anyone noticing. “This is stupid.” Peridot declares.

“There are worse plans. We could have to play baseball against her.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

They descend into a mellow silence, Lapis reaches for her hand in the dark and squeezes.

“Hey,” Lapis says in a hush, “now that we are literally stuck in a closet, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

Peridot blinks at her in the dim light, “yeah?”

“Yeah.” She feels Lapis shift next to her, “you know how you work in like, the middle of the city now?”

“Uh-huh.” Peridot confirms absently. “Quartz industry is way too tall.” She bitterly remarks.

She can feel Lapis’s breath on her cheek. “Well,” she swears she hears her heart beat, “wouldn’t it be nice to live closer to it then? In the city I mean.”

Peridot’s eyes go wide and she blushes as her brain connects the dots, “do you know of any vacancies?”

Lapis buries her face in Peridot’s head and kisses her head, “maybe…Maybe a little place off Bluebird avenue. Or a new place. Somewhere better.”

“I’m not sure I’d want to do that alone.” She breathes steadily and can feel the heat of Lapis’s body radiating next to her.

“That’s a problem you’ve got yourself in then.”

Peridot snorts and draws Lapis closer, she kisses her on the lips in the dark and touches her neckline and wide shoulders.

“Do you want to live with me idiot?” She asks as gets on her tiptoes and cradles her face, Lapis leans into it.

“If you insist. And when we're old we can get a barn together in the country. Raise some hell, watch the sunrises.”

“Whatever you want.” She embraces her again, Lapis pushes her up against the wooden door and deepens the kiss. Her hands wander across her smooth skin and the heat grows inside her gut. They make out up against the door and she feels her body melting into the other girls.

It isn’t until Lapis starts to unbutton Peridots dress shirt and feel up her chest does she have to stop her.

“I’m going to be late…” She mutters.

“Don’t you want to get intimate in a closet? It’s like the ultimate irony.”

Peridot shakes her head, not that Lapis can see it, “I’m winking at you right now and telling you to wait ‘till later. Like a good nymphomaniac, freaking lord.”

Lapis kisses on the nose, “only for you.”

“We’re going to have to run for it.” Peridot declares with a frown, “I bet my life savings she’s still out there. She doesn’t just give up.”

“Let’s run then! It’s like an action thriller,” Lapis picks her box up as Peridot cradles her package in hand.

“Fine. On three.” They count down and then dash out their hiding place and directly in front of Yella Diamond who was arguing with the manager.

“You!” She says with venom like acid reflex in her words.

“Love to chat, but I have go.” Peridot skirts around her and they run into the street.

Ms. Diamond chases them down the crowded sidewalk right up until Quartz industry building. Ms. Diamond grabs onto her shoulder at the last second.

She spins Peridot around on her heels and she struggles to stay on her feet. “If you knew what was good for you you’d go in right now and hand in a resignation.”

Peridot steels herself, “or what?”

“I’ll ruin you. I told you not to quit, but this is over the line. Going over to our competitor! You disgust me.”

“You know I used to look up you?” She spits and stands up straighter, “before I realized you knew jack shit about actually running a company, you’re a joke.”

“You tell her!” Her girlfriend cheers.

Ms. Diamond grabs at her face and pinches her cheeks with her long nails, “do you know what kind of connections I have? BP, Bank of America, credit scores, home loans, don’t think I won’t play dirty.”

Peridot shakes and Lapis tries to drag her down from Ms. Diamonds claw like grip.

“Will you really now?” A light melodic voice interrupts them and Peridot tries to kick Ms. Diamond as her eyes widen and the grip loosens.

“Rose Quartz.” She sneers, “lovely to see you.”

“Likewise.” Peridot turns around to see Rose Quartz standing in the doorway, Pearl by her side and both of their eyes caught in an icy glare. “But if I didn’t know better you were threatening my employee.” Ms. Diamond straightens up and Peridot almost goes to hide behind Rose Quartz. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about her.”

“Oh?” Rose raises an eyebrow.

“She is the worst employee I’ve ever had. I would have fired her myself if her poor mother wasn’t sick and I didn’t felt so bad for them.” Rose glances at Peridot, “whatever she told you was a lie. She does drugs on the job, sneaks in her delinquent girlfriend to fraternize. Sexually. She is absolutely never on time.” Peridot squirms and feels the heat rising around her collar.

Rose glances at her watch, “she is actually exactly on time according to my watch.” She shows her the time: 9:30.

Yella Diamond shakes her head, “save yourself the trouble Rose. Don’t hire a drug addicted fool.”

Rose brings herself to her full intimidating height. “I think that is mine to decide Yella. And I would remind you, I have connections too. ‘Ruining’ my employees, as you say, would be unacceptable. Besides,” Rose Quartz breaks into a shark like smile, “I’m not sure who would listen to a failed business owner.”

Yella Diamond’s jaw goes slack, mouth hanging open. Peridot’s stands up straighter as the and blinks slowly as the color rises in Ms. Diamonds cheeks.

“Why don’t you two go inside? Your workspace should be ready.” Pearl says off to the side as her eyes never leave Rose Quartz.

Peridot looks between all the parties and then turns to go indoors, that was enough drama for awhile.

Her and Lapis sneak into the building and let Rose and Yella hash it out. That may have been a sight to see though.

They get into a company elevator.

“Fuck, that was something else.” Lapis bounces on the balls of her feet, Peridot gives her a sidelong look.

“I’m not sure if I will enjoy being ruined.” She grumbles dryly.

Lapis turns to her, “I think Quartz got your back.” She juts a thumb at her chest, “and we can ruin you ourselves.” She finishes and kisses Peridot on the head while Peridot rolls her eyes.

Peridot then shuffles her feet, “Hey,” she says softly, “about living together.”

Lapis blinks at the change in subject. “Yeah? Is it about shower times or square footage? Cause I think we could work it out.”

“No, it’s just, won’t you still work in the bedroom district? You’ll still be at the King Soopers, that’s a long drive for you too. We don’t have to move just for where I work.”

Lapis shrugs and stares straight ahead. “I’m not going to work at King Soopers forever.” She gives a sad smile, “in fact, I plan not to.”

Peridot gives her a meaningful smile, “what are you thinking?”

The elevator closes in on their destination, Lapis looks at the ceiling. “Aquaman. Reporter. Pilot. Comedian.”

“All at once?” Peridot says smartly.

“Hell yeah all at once! Little Lapis would be so proud of me.” She mock sniffs and wipes at her eye.

“I think you should work on getting a full night's rest first.”

They walk into a busy room filled with little cubicles and computer nerds typing away, creating data structures for better storage processing.

“I’m getting better at that.” She says softly, “you help with some of the sleep. Sapphire helps. The meds. Things are helping.” She touches her lips to the back of her neck, Peridot shivers and looks for her desk.

Peridot smiles back at her, “Well, if I do help as well, I suppose we should live together then.”

Lapis nods, “and one day in a mansion, once my comedy routine takes off.”

Peridot goes down an aisle, “really?” She says flatly.

Lapis puts the box down at a little desk with the name tag ‘Peridot!’ written in pink marker.

“Hey, sarcasm and fart noise based humor is in.”

“Alright,” Peridot breaths and starts unpacking, “I accept it.”

They lean into each other and Lapis leaves her with a long goodbye kiss, she feels light headed.

She smiles before sitting down, hopefully Ms. Diamond would stay away, and Rose Quartz industry wouldn’t fail. She starts typing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe we're approaching the end...


	30. A Romantics Dilemma

3 Months Later 

_Amethyst_

“What if I jumped out of a giant cake?” Lapis asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Amethyst wrinkled her nose, “been done.”

“ _Naked_.”

“Totally been done before.”

“What if I tattoo it on my arm?” Amethyst leads them down a sterile beige hallway.

“Too permanent girl.” Lapis pulls at her hair gently.

“What if I tell her there was a fire in the building and we have to run outside and the fireman spring it on her, like, surprise! Marry this damn be-yotch.”

“What, like with a fire threat?” Amethyst shakes her head, “too mean.”

“I am mean.” Lapis defends as she crosses her arms over her chest.

Amethyst, “pfft, sure, says the women trying to be the most perfect romantic prosposer in the world.”

Lapis groans and buries her face in her hands, “this is too hard. You do you it for me?”

Amethyst laughs, “you’d critique me the whole way through! Especially on the wedding night.” She winks.

“Oh no, you don’t get to do that part.” Lapis puts her hands in the air, “that’s all me.”

“No Amethyst, you pull her hair to the left, to the left,” She mimics Lapis’s voice and Lapis pokes at her side until Amethyst has to swat her hand away. “No, she likes it with your-”

“I will file a friendship divorce.” Lapis says wryly.

“Don’t worry.” Amethyst waves her hand airily, “I’m not interested.”

“Uh,” Lapis huffs, “are you insinuating then that me or my girlfriend aren’t prime real estate?”

Amethyst snickers and takes out a key to prim white door on the second floor of the complex, “nah, just saying I finally have,” She bumps the door open with her hip, “the best option.”

“What’s that mean?” Lapis looks around, “hey, is this really your sister’s place?” Lapis inspects the plastic flowers on the table and the well organized book case, all decorated in pinks, blues and white.

Amethyst shrugs, “uh-uh, no, I told you, this is just where I hang out a lot, and you said you wanted somewhere to talk.”

Lapis flops down on the couch, “yes, Dr. Amethyst, how imma gonna sweep my girlfriend off her tiny little feet?”

“Didn’t she kick you out last night?”

Lapis pouts, “no relationship is perfect. I still have to figure this out.”

“Uh-huh,” Amethyst goes to the kitchen and opens a peanut butter jar, “can’t believe she’s getting these for me, score.” She says under her breath.

“Okay, so I burn it into our ceiling?”

“Too serial killer.”

“I write it out in cereal on our kitchen table before breakfast.”

“Too cutesy!” Amethyst licks peanut butter out of the jar.

Lapis flings her arm over her face, “whoa it’s me, I ain’t ever going to get my big day...and wedding sex.”

“Is that why you’re doing it?” Amethyst wanders over and then sits herself on the coffee table. “You never really told me.”

Lapis sits back up and taps her fingers together, “you wouldn’t get it.”

“Yeah I would!” Amethyst crows. “I’m an adult now...basically.”

Lapis snorts and shakes her head, “it’s about love and junk dude. Like when your heart goes all fluttery and you go to bed each night trying to get closer to her…

"I get it." Amethyst says with a tip of her head, "but you, marriage?" She asks and then raises a questioning eyebrow, Lapis turns to her.

"Well, plus I want to see the look on my homophobic aunts face when I get gay married with big old gay rainbow over my head with my cute gay gf.” She giggles.

Amethyst laughs, “okay, I’d like to see that.”

“See? It’s an awesome idea. And I’m going to be the one to propose to her first,” She hits her fist and palm together, “I’ll be damned if she out romances me.”

“Just get her flowers and a night out.”

“Too boring!” Lapis counters, “I want her to swoon, not politely golf clap me while I formally ask her to get tax breaks together.”

Amethyst almost chokes on her mouthful of food and Lapis has to pat on the back while snickering.

“Hello?” Lapis sits up straighter. “Amethyst is that you, because if you are on the coffee table again I _will_ get a squirt gun.”

Amethyst doesn’t jump up from the coffee table and Lapis eyes her.

“This really isn’t you’re sister's place…” Lapis murmurs.

“Yeah, I wanted you two to meet...like this. So better now than never right?” Amethyst says nervously.

“We’ve met before. She comes to our little nights out all the time.” Lapis says suspiciously.

Amethyst smiles widely, “Yeah, but not as my-”

“Oh,” they both turn to Pearl who puts her bag and keys down in a designated area. “Lapis,” Pearl glares at Amethyst ever so slightly, “I didn’t know you were bringing Lapis over. The place is too dirty for guests!”

Lapis and Amethyst exchange a glance at the spotless interior.

“My homegirl just has a loooot of problems. I thought I could help her out,” Amethyst shrugs, “and I thought we should start, you know, telling people.” Amethyst said the last part pointedly.

Peal touches her fingers and then her face, “Well... I suppose. If she has a problem.”

Amethyst gets up and leans up to kiss Pearl on the cheek, “that’s the spirit! I told you that stick up the ass could come loose.”

“Amethyst!”

“I’ll go make us some tea.”

Amethyst exits the room in a swoosh of long brown hair, leaving Lapis and Pearl to stare at each other tentatively.

_Pearl_

“Sooo,” Pearl looks around the space and then scratches the back of her neck.

“Do you think I should do a sky writing of ‘will you marry me?”

Pearl flushes, “what, what, what?” She steps back.

“My girlfriend,” Lapis puts her hands out, “I’m trying to propose to my girlfriend.”

“Oh, you and Peridot, of course.”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

Pearl hums, “Didn’t you two only meet...this year?” Pearl asks slowly and Lapis narrows her eyes.

“Isn’t Amethyst only twenty?” She counters briskly and the room physically seems to chill.

Pearl shakes her head, “I know…” She says softly, “I tried to...but I,” she touches her chest, and Lapis eyes go wide.

Lapis flings her hands up, “It’s cool, it’s totally cool.” Her face softens, “the heart wants what the heart wants,” she snorts, “and it’s not like you’re in your thirties or anything.” Lapis looks up plainly, “you aren’t in your thirties are you?”

“No!” Pearl counters, “and marriage is a big step.” She changes the subject. “You two are only in your twenties yourselves.”

Lapis groans and spreads out all the way on the couch again, “Amethyst! Pearl is trying to mom me.” She calls out.

Amethyst bangs on the wall, “I’ll go get the skirt bottle. No moming!”

Pearl huffs and crosses her arms, Lapis laughs behind her hands.  “I’m serious, you can’t rush into things.”

“I just, I really like her, okay? I think, I think this is it for me. I want to lock her down before she falls in love with Rose Quartz or anything.” She winks at Pearl who scowls threateningly at her.

“Lapis,” She says with warning in her voice. “This is my house.”

Lapis puts her hands up innocently, “okay, okay, no more teasing.”

Pearl reaches her hand out, “I didn’t really know you two, well I knew Peridot briefly with that yellow suited devil women, but didn’t really _know_ you two before you had each other.” She smiles gently and touches Lapis’s hand, “and I suppose I can’t imagine you without each other.”

Lapis sits up again and squirms in place, “thanks Pearl.” They share an oddly decent moment together, which was new.

“Tea is here! With like crackers. You really need to buy some more cookies.” Amethyst shakes her head.

“You always eat them all!” Pearl grumbles and Lapis laughs, Pearl turns back to her, “have you considered putting the ring on the end of sword and handing that to her?”

Lapis looks up at the ceiling, “I’m not going to propose to my girlfriend like a 17th century knight.”

“I’m just saying!” Pearl glances at Amethyst, “girls love swords.” They laugh discretely and Lapis wants to die.

“Alright, well my appetite is ruined.” She puts her cracker down, “and none of you are helpful.”

They argue more of the proper way to get pop the question, and then proper swordsmanship. Lapis doesn’t get anywhere.

 

_Garnet_

“Okay, but no one likes my cake-jumping-out-of idea.” Lapis complains as she sips her tonic. Garnet nods sagely, “it is tacky.”

“I guess.” Lapis grumbles.

“You just have to express something from your heart.” Garnet touches her chest and Lapis slumps down.

“I don’t have a heart. Only metal and grit.” She thumps on her chest.

“Yes. You do.” Garnet says reasonably.

Lapis sighs heavily, “I just don’t want to mess it up, you know?”

“You’re nervous.” Garnet pats her on the back. “It’s understandable.”

“Nervous. Don’t I know it,” Lapis says ruefully into her drink.

“It’s understandable,” Garnet downs her own gin and tonic. “When you care a lot for someone you want to make it just right. But not everything can go perfectly Lapis.”

Lapis kicks on the bar table stubbornly, “but this can,” she murmurs, “doesn’t love find a way and stuff? It has to. Just this time, that’s all I want.”

Garnet smiles her easy, serene smile at her, “yeah it will Lapis. It will.” She pats her on the back again and they drink in a comfortable silence.

“Also, you’re mom says hi. And to remember to do your laundry by Friday.”

It’s Garnet’s turn to groan and look away, “don’t bring my mum into it...Though they did have a very nice proposal I hear."

“What was it?” Lapis asks excitedly as the manager, a little thing with heavy bangs, tries to shoo them out.

Garnet shrugs back at her, “they danced.” Lapis blinks and the bar keep kicks them out. Lapis waves to Garnet on their way back.

Peridot rolls her eyes at Lapis when she gets home, she forces her to drink water and puts her to bed. Lapis stares at the ceiling and feels Peridot’s breath on her neck, she’s not sure what she’s doing.

 

_Sadie_

“Sadie, Sadie, Sadie,” Lapis jumps up and down as she tries to get Sadie’s attention.

“Jeez, Lap,” Sadie is pulled aside as she pushes her hair back, “it’s not even the middle of the night.”

Lapis shakes her head, “I don’t do that so much anymore.”

Sadie smiles at her softly, “I know.”

“Now!” Lapis announces, “I do know it is your low hours.”

Sadie glances around the diner, “I suppose we’re not that busy.”

She tries to drag her aside, “I have a problem.”

“What’s up?” Sadie asks curiously.

“I am in love. Love, love.”

Sadie chuckles, “I know.” She gives her a look, “trust me, everyone knows.”

“Okay, but do you think I should get a dance troupe to spell out ‘will you marry me?’ with their weird contorted bodies?”

Sadie squeals and yanks her into a booth, “marriage!”

“Yeah,”

“Can I be a bridesmaid?”

Lapis makes finger guns at her, “you can be all of them...with a few other people.”

Sadie bounces up and down, “I’m so excited. But, just get a simple dress for the bridesmaids, k? My mom will lose it if I go extravagant. Ask me where _my_ ring is.”

Lapis leans on her elbows, “so, where are you and Lars?”

Sadie covers her face, “no where!” Lapis kicks her under the table playfully, but then Sadie was really frowning, “he can’t afford a ring.”

Lapis sits up straight and almost flies up, “a ring.” Hey eyes go wide, “I still need to ring.”

“My uncle knows a guy,” Sadie was smiling at her, “do you know what you want it to look like?”

Lapis's face softens, panic subsiding. “Silver. With a peridot in the middle.” She sees it her mind's eye, light and small and perfect.

Sadie slaps her on the side of the arm and congratulates her, Lapis nods her head with a twinge of embarrassment.

Sadie proposes she just get down on one knee and pop the question in an easy manner. Lapis rejects that for ‘gender norm’ reasons and she is back to square one.

 

_Jasper_

Lapis carried a laundry basket on her hip and grumbled to herself, it had a been a month. A month with no ideas and a cold wind stirring up in the east. But snow was romantic? Maybe. She adds it to make her list of maybe ‘romantic loser things,’ a very long list in her head already.

She fusses to with her laundry as she tosses it into machine one by one and curses their new apartment building, “duplex my ass, can’t even keep their washing machines working.”

She leans against the washer and looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully, “are laundromats romantic?”

Lapis was checking a newspaper for more job openings when she spots a familiar face.

“Oh!” Lapis jumps to her feet, “hey! You.” She watches a figure walk through the crowd, Lapis turns to the person next to her. “Can you watch my clothes for me? I’ll be real quick.” She asks the kindly old lady.

The lady nods and Lapis runs off, she dashes down the street and catches up to Jasper.

“Hey! Ugly.” She grabs at the other women’s muscle shirt.

“The fuck, Lazuli?” Jasper says as she spots her, "it's been months."

"Yes, hello, hi." Lapis pants and clutches at her side before going into her new speel, “you know me pretty well, right?”

Jasper shakes her head, “God I hope not. That’s like my worst nightmare.”

“Same,” Lapis says dismissively and Jasper pinches the bridge of her nose, “ _but,_ hear me out _,_  if I do the opposite of what we did, it should be a good relationship, right?"

Jasper shrugs her off and starts walking, “I have somewhere to be.”

Lapis walks in time with her as they make their way down the bustling street.

“How do you think I should propose to my girlfriend?” She says with her palms to the sky.

“The fuck, Laz?” Jasper says again as she glances at her, “you don’t just ask your ex how to do that shit.”

“Oh come on.”

Jasper sighs and looks at the grey clouds overhead, “I’ll tell you...but I want to go to the wedding.”

“What, why?” Lapis asks slowly.

Jasper smiles toothily, “single babes.”

“Do you spend all your time on boobs and butts?”

Jasper shrugs with a laugh, “And then some!” Lapis shakes her head with a smile.

“I remember what it was like to be single," she clucks, “the despair, the emptiness, the knowledge I’m a huge meathead with an ugly mug and can’t get no ass every night.” She dramatically sighs and Jasper turns around on her.

“Want my advice then Laz?”

“I guess,” Lapis says thoughtfully as they stand inches apart.

Jasper leans down and whispers in her ear, “don’t fuck it up.”

Lapis stands numbly in the street as Jasper walks away with a hand in the air, waving goodbye.

“And maybe dancing!”

Lapis moodily ruffles her own hair and walks back to find someone trying to break into her laundry.

 

_Steven and Connie_

“So you two are really getting married?” A young bespectacled girl asks as she clinks a stick across a line of fence rails. _Tink, tink_

“Well, we’ll try to. When I propose.” She says miserably, “and she says yes.”

“You’ve got this Lapis.” Steven says comfortingly while patting her side, Lapis smiles down at him.

“Have you thought of handing her a sword with a ring on it?” Connie suggests.

“What? You and Pearl, why are people into that, is that a thing?” Lapis squints her eyes.

Connie parries her stick, “it happened in the Sword Maiden and Her Guild.”

“Huh,” Lapis says thoughtfully.

“What do you want it to be Lapis?” Steven asks as they pad around the house by the park. _Tink, tink_

Lapis thinks, “something memorable. With a bang or swoosh. Sparkles?”

“But what do you want to _say_?” Steven looks up at her with round brown eyes.

Lapis taps her chin, “I love you.” She says breathily, “but more. Everyone says that, I want to say, let’s have fun forever. Let’s cuddle, and do…” she glances at the kids. “Stuff. Let’s never stop laughing and flirting and fighting and figuring it all out. I love...your little horse face, and smile, and literally every other thing. Let’s find that goddamn pasta you wanted on the first day.” She cringes at the kids when she says ‘damn.’ Oops.

“Hmm,” Steven gets down on one knee. “Anything else?”

“Uh,” Lapis searches the air and remembers Garnet, “maybe...something to do with dancing?”

Connie watches Steven as he snaps his fingers, “I have an idea.”

“Yeah?” Lapis grins.

“Yeah,” Steven jumps up, “tell me if you like it.”

They huddle in the middle of the park and Lapis claps her hands together.


	31. Spell it Out for You

“Alright, now, step, step, side-step. Good! Caster’s, keep your toes up.”

Lapis led Peridot across a slick brown floor, their hands clasped together and Peridot watching their feet as they parried back and forth. She glanced around them at the class and little teacher who looked like a practicing magician rather than ballroom dance teacher.

“We’re too young to take this class to help ‘spice up the middle aged love-life’.” She complains as they back step to the music.

Lapis snorts in her ear, “you’re still just upset they said I should lead since I’m taller.”

“It’s heightest!” She squeaks as Lapis did a half skip and pressed her backwards.

She laughs and shakes her head, “the heteros, at it again, giving us height norms.”

Peridot grumbles to herself under breath about the fact she could lead, and there was nothing wrong with a tiny women taking her girlfriend across the tiny dance floor.

“Step, step, step, Lazuli’s, stop dragging.”

“Lazuli’s?” Peridot’s eyes go wide and mixture of emotions wells in her gut.

“Right-O!” Lapis calls back with a laugh and swings Peridot across the space, doing a little jig as they step back and forth.

“Too fast!” Peridot grits between her teeth.

“Teacher!” Lapis wasn’t listening, “when do we get to do the sexy stuff?”

The instructor tuts at the two of them, “once you master the first basic steps my dear.” He says thickly as he comes over to rearrange their hand placement.

“Young people…” Peridot hears one of the old couples muttering, “always so impatient.”

They continue to try and do the basics of tango in the the little loft above a brewery and Peridot is sweating hard enough to stain a good dress shirt by the third song.

“Alright! Now try a dip everyone, make sure not to drop anyone.” Peridot rolls her eyes.

“If you drop me for a joke, and say something like ‘dancing is such a trip!…” She says warningly to her playful girlfriend, Lapis rolls her eyes right back at her.

She just leans down, “that’s a terrible joke,” they side-close to the music, “I’d probably yell something like ‘now Russia wins the gold! We’ve humiliated our country!’ and faint or something.” Peridot flinches as she accidently stepped on her girlfriends foot.

“I don't think we'd win any medals.” Peridot scoffs.

Lapis smirks at her, “the cold war doesn’t win itself with that attitude! Every dancer must do her part.”

Peridot continues to watch their feet as Lapis presses her backwards, “I’m defecting to Putin.”

Lapis holds her hands more firmly, “he’ll have you deported immediately you brightly colored rainbow flag.”

“Comrad? You doubt me?”

“No Russian babes for you!” The other woman draws her closer so their hips meet and Peridot’s face heats up. 

“I guess I can settle for grocery store ones…” She says with her eyes half lidded and goes for the kiss, but someone is yelling at them.

“Your turn! Dip now Lazuli’s, dip!”

Lapis almost drops her.

“Uh,” she grabs her on the waist on the last second and awkwardly draws them up into a dramatic little swish, Peridot stares into the grey of Lapis’s eyes, inches apart and surrounded by old couples and what Peridot is sure is a retired magician.

“Witness me…” Lapis whispers and Peridot jumps to wrap her arms around her neck so she doesn’t drop her. Lapis laughs as she lets go but Peridot drags her to the floor with the force of her weight.

“Asshole.” She says into her ear when they collapse on the floor and people reprimand them from afar.

Lapis was giggling, “it was too tempting.”

“I lead next time.”

“We’ll work on your dip.” The instructor announces as he claps his hands, “Now gather round up my little chicks.”

Lapis helps Peridot up and holds her close, they hurry over to listen to the instructor describe the art of ‘tango-ballroom-fusion’ dance.

Peridot keeps glancing up at Lapis, “you know we lost the medal.” She says cheekily.

Lapis leans down and presses a kiss to her cheek, “my fault. Guess we’ll both have to defect.”

“We’ll be arrested immediately.” She shudders.

“In style!” Lapis says as she holds her closer with her arms wrapped around her shoulders, Peridot reaches up and holds her hand. They listen to the rest of the ‘art of dance like the creation of a mason’s house’ speech and gather up their possessions to leave.

“And Lazuli’s!” Peridot and Lapis freeze as the instructor addresses them in his booming voice, “maybe little chittering one leads next time? We can try it out.”

“HA!” Peridot pumps her fist into the air.

“Ah,” Lapis hangs her head as Peridot dances around her in triumph.

“We try it out.” The man waves them off and Peridot jumps up and down.

“This is just ‘cause I dropped ya.” Lapis says mooodily.

“That is definitely a reason for me to do the dipping next time.”

“I’ll get you a box.” Lapis responds dryly.

Peridot sighs and drags her to the side of the room to get their street shoes on again. Peridot goes into a speel on dancing running in her family and she feels Lapis pat her on the head.

She yawns, “you do always have the strangest suggestions Lapis.” Peridot comments as she goes for the door.

“And I have another one.” Lapis says as she looks off to the side.

“Huh?”

“Follow me,” Lapis grabs her hand and flashes her a brilliant smile, she can’t help but follow behind.

They make it to a side door and a pair of stairs.

“What’s all this?” Peridot asks as she looks at the grungy steps and Lapis pushing her up them.

“I have a little something, something.”

Peridot raises an eyebrow, “are you going to drop me from the roof this time?”

“Come on beautiful, it’s cool.”

Peridot suspiciously follows her up the flights of the stairs, to a rickety door to what looked like it would lead to a prison yard.

Peridot looks at it with her hands crossed over her chest, “looks locked.”

“It is.” Lapis says expertly before popping out a long key.

“Jesus, Lap, this is exceeding wacky and heading into ‘convict.’”

Lapis wasn’t listening as she shimmied open the door and burst onto a roof, a cold gush of air hits Peridot in the face as they make it onto a roof.

Lapis swings around and grabs her hand, “I have something for you.”

“Oh?” Peridot blinks slowly, “what’s the occasion?”

“Anniversary.” Lapis says as she takes her across the wide flat space.

Peridot’s heart skips a beat, “anniversary?!” Her head spins, “I, I,” her mouth opens and closes, she wilts, “I didn’t get you anything.”

Lapis turns around, “that’s okay. It’s not that kind of anniversary.”

Peridot racks her brain for what kind of anniversary they could have. “Is this the first time I came into the Kingsoopers?” 

“Nah,” Lapis shakes her head and takes her to the what looked like a basket.

“Uh,” Peridot taps her chin and tries to think.

“Come on, don’t strain yourself, I made us stuff!” Peridot watches as Lapis takes out a blanket from the basket and spreads it out.

“You really went all out…” She mutters as she watches her spread the blanket out and reach into the basket for little tupperware, “uh the first time you had a premonition you wanted to date that stranger buying two packs of red bull?”

Lapis peers up at her and pats the place besides her, “it’s actually for the first time I had a wet dream about you.”

Peridot’s face heats up, “r-really?”

Lapis flashes her teeth up at her, “no. Sit down!”

Peridot exhales and sits crossed-legged next to her, Lapis immediately leans her head against Peridot’s shoulder.

Peridot reaches for her hand, “what did you bring then for whatever this is?”

Lapis bounces up and down in place and kisses her on the cheek, “you’ll see. How was work?”

Peridot blinks, “come one Lap,” she whines, “what this?”

Lapis shakes her head, “just look at the damn city.”

Peridot sighs and looks straight ahead, “it is pretty I suppose.” The glittering lights surround them as they perch on the low building in the heart of midlands. The air buzzed with the car horns and sirens of the city as the late fall wind bit across their cheeks.

She takes a deep breath, it smelled like snow and dust. She smiles a little, and leans over and kisses Lapis on the head, “this is sweet...whatever it is.”

“Oh you think it’s sweet now…” Lapis bounces her eyebrows up and down, she reaches into the bag and picks up a large tupperware container, “ta-da!”

Peridot blinks, “you cooked,” She kisses her on the head again, “I am always impressed.”

“No dummy,” Lapis shifts closer to her, “it’s strongozzi! I went to a special farmers market….hopefully it’s good.”

Peridot tilts her head and tries to think, “strongozzi...strongozzi...oh!” She sits bolt upright, “the pasta I was looking for the night we started talking!”

“Yeah!” Lapis cheers.

Peridot’s eyes go soft, “oh Lapis…” She watches as Lapis shifts from side to side uncomfortably. Peridot gets on her knees and kisses on her the cheek. “Thank you...but what is it?”

She blinks and Lapis gets out plates and forks, her face looking bright and glowing red under the city lights.

“Can’t ya girl...love her girlfriend without being questioned?” Lapis doesn’t meet her eye.

Peridot tries to help her set up the food but Lapis shoos her hand away.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.” Lapis breaths and Peridot watches her put the pasta on the plates and put on some packaged meatballs on top. “You work hard and don’t mind staying up late me all those nights. You deserve a treat!” She announces and Peridot blushes. “Now eat your bourgeois spaghetti.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice.”

They sit on the roof of the dance studio and Lapis tries to feed her the strongozzi one bite at a time. “This is unnecessary.” She says through a mouthful.

“Open up.”

“Unnecessary!” But Lapis is feeding her again and Peridot is coaxing her to eat as well.

“Dork,” she scoffs and they scuffle on the roof about eating, before laughing again in the din of the city life.

“I really wish I brought something.” Peridot says ruefully as Lapis gets out the cake.

“Don’t worry about it.” Lapis says again as she gets out the chocolate strawberry dessert, “your company, as they say, is a treat enough.”

Peridot shakes her head, “I’m feeding you this time, so no more sweet moosh comes out.” She pokes her cheek and then cuts into the cake and starts lifting into Lapis’s mouth.

“Fine,” she agrees as they try to eat the sticky dessert.

They are laughing at their ballroom dance tango fusion class they were taking when Peridot starts leaning on Lapis.

Lapis seemed distracted as her eyes kept drifting to her phone clock, Peridot trailed her fingers down her thigh to get her attention.

“Soooo,” she says slowly, “you love me? What a clod.”

Lapis thwapps her, “don’t push it shortie.”

“No, I’m just saying, I get it. I’m handsome. Brilliant.” She starts pushing Lapis backwards, “and I can be quiet giving.” Peridot puts her arms across Lapis shoulders and crawls up close to her, trying to get in between her legs.

Lapis kisses her on the nose, “you’re adorable.”

Peridot rubs her nose furiously and then clears her throat. She hoods her eyes again, summoning up whatever it was ‘sexy’ was. She reaches for Lapis’s leg and straddles her hips, “you know...I could eat again.” She whispers into her ear.

“Eep!” Lapis makes a strangled noise and Peridot blinks before trying to kiss her again.

“Oh my God, you know I want to do this.”

“I know.” Peridot says slowly, “you and your weird roof kinks apparently.”

“But I have to go.”

“What?”

“Oh my God Peri, why are we such awkward losers?”

“What?”

“I swear I’ll be right back,” she was glancing at her watch, “and then we can finish this.”

“I’m trying to seduce you!” She pouts and tries to get her to look at her as she touches the other girl.

“And I know and I love you?”

“Wasn’t that the point of doing all this?” Peridot was getting more confused, “I’m sorry, I was ignoring you, we should have been doing it mo--mmm.” Lapis was kissing her deeply on the lips and then drawing back.

“No! You’re fine,” she was rubbing the bridge of her nose, “gah, I’ll be right back.” Lapis drops her on the blanket and jumps up, “I’ll text you in a moment.”

Lapis ran to the roof door and left Peridot in a daze, “what the fuck?” She asks softly to the empty pinkish black sky.

Peridot sits unhappily staring at her phone as she tries to figure out Lapis’s game, “does she want a car?” She asks the picnic basket, “does she want me to help her get that car? She knows I would, I told her that when I got a raise. She doesn’t want kinky roof sex apparently. Or does she?” Peridot pulls at her hair. It was still so hard to read her girlfriend after all these months.

She’s contemplating taking off her clothes for when Lapis gets back when the phone finally buzzes.

‘Look down.’ It said simply.

Peridot gets to her feet, and crawls to the edge of the roof. She rubs her eyes when she looks out at the sidewalk.

Two dozen people stood in a row with sparkles in hand, all lit and as bright as day, they spelled out in big glowing letters ‘marry me?’

Peridot can’t feel her limbs, her heart just swells and she can’t remember how to breath.

“PERIDOT FARID.” Lapis spoke through a megaphone at the front of the line, her little blue dress blowing in the cold wind and a sparkler in her hand, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

Peridot was shaking so hard she couldn’t feel her teeth. This couldn't be real. She gets to her feet on unsteady legs and is running so hard before she can stop herself.

She’s launching herself down flights of stairs, bashing her way through doors and struggling her way to the front of the building, bruises she'll surely feel in the morning.

“Lapis!” She yells and tries not to fall over as she wobbles to stand in front of her girlfriend.

The crowd claps as they stand panting in front of each other.

“Will you marry me?” Lapis asks again, this time softly, as she holds out a black box. Peridot can’t take her eyes off of her.

“Are you sure?” Peridot says as quietly as she can, surrounded by friends and family and sparkles going out in the wind. “Lesbians have statistically high rates of divorce. I own two copies of every season of Camp Pining Hearts. I snore. You hate work...I love you.”

Lapis was laughing, “please never stop being you.”

“I won’t.” She says with a breathless smile, “and yes.”

“What?” Lapis asks back as she leans in.

Peridot takes the megaphone from her, “YES.” Lapis covered her ears but was laughing, she throws open her arms.

Peridot was jumping on her, she kisses her forcefully, willfully, possessively and the world erupts around them into an applause.

“I said it might be a good idea.” That was Steven.

They kiss and Peridot presses against her like she wants to crawl into her skin, they kiss until her lips are numb.

“I love you, I love you,” she can’t stop saying it and Lapis puts her down.

“Look at this ring,” Lapis bursts out and opens the black box, Peridot gasps.

“It’s beautiful.” She has to rub at her eyes, and sniffles, “it’s beautiful.” She was crying and she couldn’t help it.

“No, no, beautiful, it’s for you,” Lapis brushes at her tears, “it’s okay.”

Peridot shakes her head and gets down on one knee in front of Lapis, “marry me.”

Peridot watches Lapis bite her lip, “of course.”

She slips on the silver ring inlaid with a green gem and she jumps to her feet again, they share another kiss, this time salty and wet from her tears she can’t stop crying.

She sniffles, "sparklers?"

"I thought I'd spell it out for you." Lapis says as they gently tap their foreheads together.

"What?"

"That I love you."

Peridot wipes at her tears and kisses her one more time. 


	32. A Kiss Doesn't Change Anything (But it Does)

Lapis wasn’t sure she recognized herself in the mirror, she’s also not sure she recognized where she was, they had chosen the venue months ago and now it all felt almost too pristine, too wide and immaculate. Too many columns and bird nests and hard wood floors like smooth avenues for sliding on.

A large dixie-victorian house that could hold 50 people running around it’s white hallways and a green, green yard Lapis could fit at least three slip-n-slides across.

Lapis took a deep breath.

“Has anyone seen my shoes?” She tried to get back up again. She had shit to do.

“Hold still,” her cousin softly chides her as she touches up Lapis's hair, “you’re almost done.” Lapis moved too quickly and accidentally stabbed herself with one of the pins holding her dress together.

“How long do we have?” Lapis’s eyes scanned the little room filled with boxes and vanities and women rushing to look like presentable wedding goers.

“Not enough,” her mother chimed in and busied herself on one of her niece’s dresses that the young girl kept tossing over her head like a parachute, “none at all.”  
  
“Hold still Lapi.” Her cousin took out a curler.

“Gotta find my shoes.” Lapis tries to get back up once more.

“One last- there!” Maria followed her around the room with hairspray to keep Lapis’s curls tight and coiled, Lapis just kicked aside furniture and boxes to find her shoes.

“They're silver, anyone seen silver heels?” Her relatives shook their heads and Sadie said to check with the people in the hall.

Lapis can already hear the people in the hall: “....what I don’t understand is who is going to escorted down the aisle? Is the little one the groom in this case?” Lapis groaned that was her aunt Rosalind, the one that’s smile became stretched silly putty over tight lips. The one that basically choked out ‘good for you’ when Lapis said she was marrying a women. That one.

“They’ve got it all worked out.”

“I just worry for little Lapis, she could have such a future,” her aunt giggled. "Could have married rich!" 

Lapis rolls her eyes and tries to sneak into the hallway on bare feet and invisible in her white gown.

“Lapis! Oh, we were just talking about this.” Lapis looked up to the high ceilings and sighed before plastering on a grimacing smile.

“Hi auntie.” She said while touching the back of her neck.

“Me and your aunt Christine were just confused about something-”

“Well, we weren’t really confused.” Her aunt Christine, a sensible women with a gray suit and grayer eyes, who looked bored and half lost in her vodka and tonic.

“Who is going to be walked down the aisle by the father? Both of you? Will, ahem, _she_ be the one waiting at the end of the aisle? This all so complicated, such a fuss.”  
  
Lapis touches the light on her cheek and then looks out window, “I have to go find my shoes auntie.” She turns to leave, her brain filled with flower arrangements and cake delivery, and-- was the cake there yet?  
  
“Is your father here Lapi?” Lapis stopped in place and her blood chilled. She pursed her lips and her shoulders tensed like cooling lava. _Was her father even there?_ “Oh, your dad should be, shouldn’t he?”

The silence was like a thorn bush thrown into a cactus plantation.

“Shut the fuck up Rosalind.” Her aunt Christine says in a deadpan and finishes the rest of her vodka one swig. Her other aunt made a dignified gasp and touched her chest.

“Christine, children are here!”

Lapis remembers holding the letter her hand: his wife’s due date was too close, tensions with her mom too high, going all the way across the entire country wasn't practical in this day and age, but! If Lapis was ever in Cali 'they should get coffee sometime.' She remembered crumpling it in her hands and tossing it somewhere far away.

Lapis turned around to see Christine shrug and give Lapis a slight smile, “excuse me, shut the front door Rosalind. Then shut the fuck up.”  
  
Lapis snorts, but then slips away to let her aunts argue, or at least stare at each other like one of them just farted.

Lapis sneaks into the past chittering children and gaggles of people having small talk, why did she want a big wedding again?

She is staring at a cream puff on a platter the way young lovers compare themselves to Romeo and Juliet. They can’t help themselves.

She stuffs one in her mouth, chokes, spits it out and then checks a clock on the wall.

“Where is Lapis?!” Lapis cringes and makes her way through the rest of the rooms, looking for where some kid might have hidden away her silver shoes.

“Lapis!” Lapis turns around quickly, then she sees who it is and her shoulders drop, tension releasing from her back.

“Thank God it’s you.” She darts across the room, and Peridot is half dressed in the doorway, “and also not ready either.”  
  
“Yeah.” Peridot looks Lapis up and down, wide eyed, “you look….you look beautiful.” She says with reverence.

Lapis blushes and touches her hair self-consciously. “Oh…” She glances up, “It’s all yours babe.” She winks and poses dramatically.

Peridot shakes her head, “don’t. I couldn’t own you if I wanted to.”  
  
Lapis pouts and sneaks up to her, “so serious today.”  
  
Peridot sighs and touches Lapis’s elbow, “maybe I’m a little sentimental to be getting hitched?” Peridot touches Lapis’s waist, “to a beautiful woman.”

Lapis reaches up and covers her face, “I’m gonna die. Loser.” Lapis couldn’t handle this.

“You’re the cheesy one who proposed with sparklers!”

Lapis chuckles and slips her hands into Peridot’s back pockets to push their bodies together, “at least promise I can own these.” She grabs her hips firmly and Peridot yelps before raising an eyebrow and dragging her into a kiss.

Kissing her deeply, sloppily while people call their names. She smells like fancy cologne and needy, heady, heat. Lapis wants to let the rest of the world fade and be with her forever already.

“You two!” Lapis’s mom is standing in the doorway, “making out in the spare room like teenagers!” She thwaps them and grabs onto Lapis’s shoulder. “You.” She points at Peridot, “Go finish getting dressed.” She turns to Lapis, “you. You’re lipstick needs fixing.”  
  
“Can’t I be ravished by my wife on my wedding day?”  
  
“Not on my watch! My light, my love, I’m lucky you like girls or I would have too many grandchildren already.”  
  
Lapis is wheezing and her mom walks her back to the bride's room (the second bride's room).

“One more thing,” her aunt Rosalind was still by the door, “how did that little girl in tux propose? I wanted to make a facebook status about it, your aunt is very plugged in you know.”  
  
Lapis rolled her eyes, “I damn well proposed to her.”

She can see her cousins laughing in the corner behind their hands, and Amethyst picking her nose in the corner. Her aunt Rosalind stays in the hall.

“Ame!” Lapis calls to the long haired girl who waves, but her mom is sitting Lapis down, and she’s suddenly a doll again, preened and curled and done up.

The bags under her eyes are a memory and Lapis sees her ankle length white dress hug her waist and show a dip of cleavage (so Peridot remembered about later tonight).

“You’re so pretty.” One of her young cousins, Aimee, says as she fluffs Lapis’s hair.

Lapis scrunches her chin up and makes a face, her cousin laughs, “only on the outside.” She jokes, and picks up her little cousin. They make faces at each other until someone is calling.

“It’s time,” the wedding planner yells into the room and claps his hands. “Faces up, chins high, smiles out.”

“Kill it out there,” Amethyst high fives Lapis as they get in line.

“Don’t kill anyone though.” That was Sadie.

Lapis’s mother situates Lapis at the back of the wedding parade and Lapis takes a deep breath in through her nose. Her mom kisses her on the cheek.

“You are truly glowing.” Her mother kisses her cheek again and readjusts Lapis’s hemline. “Radiant, lovely, grace!”  
  
“Oh come on momma,” Lapis has to get push her away, and get her mom in line in front of her, she is still glancing at Lapis like the sun shone out her ass.

  
And Lapis looks down at her feet and her lips tug up.

Then she frowns. “Shit…” She whispers. “My shoes.”  
  
People are moving in front of her and she has no choice but to keep walking (in her ankle length dress that showed her naked toes).

She walks with her head held high and a pair of rose’s colored blue and green in her hands. She tries to distract herself with boring thoughts: baseball, statistics, baseball again. She wasn’t going to cry, not today.

The cool spring breeze hits her cheek gently as the entourage walks down the aisle.

First Steven, in a flower girl dress, then his friend Connie with a pair of rings, and Pearl, Amethyst, Sadie, her cousins and Peridot’s brother as their accompaniment.

The crowd filled a little yard surrounding by peach trees and a smaller than average lake in the corner.

Lapis thinks about the clouds overhead and the photographer clicking away with her camera as they proceeded. What would this look like in thirty years? Sixty?

She snaps to attention when the music starts: Here Comes the Bride.

Someone takes her arm and Lapis looks aside to see Peridot smiling up at her.

“You always said you’d be married barefoot, but I never took you seriously.” She comments as they wait to walk down the aisle together as ‘Here Comes the Bride’ plays.

They walk very slowly.

“It wasn’t on purpose for once.” Lapis says calmly, without taking her eyes off Peridot.

Peridot wore a classic tuxedo with skinny slacks that hugged her legs on top of towering red heels that matched her red bow tie. Her hair was slicked back for once in a neat blonde James Bond look and she had the most profound look of someone who won a national spelling bee or KO'ed someones entire team online. Lapis glances back down.

“I love those pants.” Lapis comments.  
  
“You helped me choose these pants.” Lapis whispers as they slowly, evenly, walk down the aisle.

Under her feet were soft white sand littered with white petals. A beach wedding was too far away, so they settled on the aisle made of the finest grains of white sand.  
  
“They make me wish you walked in front of me.” She winks playfully, Peridot shakes her head.  
  
She stops and kisses on the hand, “not a chance. We’re doing this together.” She helps her up the final steps and they stand across from each other. Lapis’s heart is in her throat.

She’s thinking about baseball, but it isn’t helping. Rose Quartz, their ordained Priest(ess) starts ceremony and Lapis has to wipe at her eyes and sniffle.

Peridot was still holding her hand and staring at her. Lapis meets her eyes and lets her lip wobble. She doesn't listen much as Rose Quartz that closely as she recites the 'dearly beloved, we gathered here today...' speech. A ring is put on her finger at some point and she admires it mutely as her insides turn to jelly.

“Please state your vows.”  
  
Lapis is shaking and Peridot is taking out a piece of paper and clears her throat, “Lapis,” her voice quakes, “when I saw you in a grocery store aisle...I never thought I could get something I couldn’t buy.”  
  
“Don’t say love.” Lapis is laughing at her dork of a girlfriend.

  
“Well, that and a free headache when you ask me if you want to see you chug twenty orange juices.” The crowd laughs and Lapis waves at them like a homecoming queen.  
  
“That was legitimate.”

Rose Quartz clears her throat, “go on.”  
  
Peridot looks down at the paper, “I vow to buy you all the pasta you can eat. Strongozzi, just cause we can. I vow to take you to the ocean whenever you want, and give up at least a third of the covers at night, though negotiations can be made. I promise that I’ll keep my cat we buy from eating your goldfish and that I’ll stop my mother from throwing too many science articles about innovations in same-sex pregnancies. I promise to,” Peridot’s voice broke, “to hold and to care for, and,” It was Peridot’s turn to wipe at her eyes, “I can’t promise it will always be easy...But that won’t ever stop me.” She chokes up. "It's, your worth it."  
  
Lapis can’t help herself, she embraces Peridot to the sound of low gasps from relatives and Rose Quartz letting out a tinkling laugh.

Lapis poured out her vows in Peridot’s ear in earnest ‘I love you’s’ and ‘you’ve earned foot massages every night from now one,’ and every promise she can think of in the book, including promising to break every other promise and then keep trying.

Lapis lets her go and turns back to the crowd, “I just told her I’m marrying her for the tax benefits!” She crows and the crowd laughs and one of the kid’s parrots, ‘tax benefits!’

“And,” Lapis takes a deep breath and turns back to Peridot, “and that, I’m never letting go. Everyone else can eat it, I’m in love, and no one else can have her.” Peridot grabs her hand a little harder, “I told her that I love the way she scrunches her face up, and makes bad puns, and lies awake at night with me. I promise to have and to hold, I promise to never let go.” She finishes as her face heats up and she clasps Peridot’s hands as tightly as she can.

Rose Quartz looks between them softly, delicately, “do you Lapis Lazuli, barefoot and all,” the crowd chuckles and Lapis shuffles her feet, “take Peridot Farid as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.” She stops herself from doing a Ned Flanders voice and just looks. And keeps looking, Peridot’s green eyes couldn’t be any wider, and green is Lapis’s new favorite color.

“Do you, Peridot Farid, take Lapis Lazuli as your lawfully wedded wife?”  
  
“I do.” She breathes like she’s blowing out a candle, and Lapis is sweeping her off her feet.

They don’t even pretend to kiss professionally, they just wrap their arms around each other and the sound of clapping surrounds them.

Kisses aren’t supposed to change anything, but God, Lapis could hear angels sing and her own soul ascending, take her, take her all. She would be Peridot Farids. Kisses shouldn't change anything, but Lapis couldn't feel the same after that.

\-----------------------

 

The reception finished with one sweeping dance where Lapis did not drop Peridot this time, and a few chicken dances. Amethyst gave a maid of honor speech to remember (mostly about the road trip they took, and jokes about the free booze), and Jasper, much to Lapis’s chagrin, left with Pearl’s cousin-- the blue haired manager of LesBean.

Peridot’s mom slipped them condoms under the table and Lapis groaned and waited for the lord to take them away from all this.

Overall, they danced to Peridot's playlist of Ke$ha, they stuffed cake in each other's faces, Lapis’s aunt Christine only made one drunken scene, and Lapis avoided Rosalind for the rest of the night.

Eventually they found their way to the porch of the Victorian house venue.

“Are you ready to go Mrs. Peridot Lazuli?” Lapis turned to Peridot in the doorway of the large house they used for a wedding venue.

Peridot took her hand, “yes. Finally.” Peridot huffed wearily, smiling, “thank you Mrs. Farid.” She pumps her nose against hers like a child and they face the yard and waiting car.  
  
She takes her hand and they run down another aisle, this time with friends and family blowing colorful bubbles in their wake as they made it a black convertible.

Lapis falls into the leather seats and make peace signs as they drive away. She kisses Peridot’s cheek as they hit the highway and bells chime in the distance like it was just for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't 100% remember how weddings work, but here we are
> 
> this was Lapis's dress: http://www.lightinthebox.com/a-line-wedding-dress-ivory-sweep-brush-train-scoop-lace-tulle_p4375697.html?category_id=1181&prm=1.2.1.0
> 
> Peridot's tuxedo style: http://austinally.wikia.com/wiki/File:Black_and_white_female_tux.jpg
> 
> maybe NSFW chap next...maybe


	33. Easy Touches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo, I decided against an outright NSFW chapter, in consequence that makes this chapter the last one before the two part epilogue.
> 
> Anyway! The chapter itself is not NSFW, but it is a bit risque, forewarning

Peridot was in only a long white button-up, which was not even buttoned, and exposed most of her bare form. She stood by the expansive glass window and touched it faintly, it thrummed with life and distant noise.

The city outside had a heart beat like a jackhammer and the smile of a convict who knew they were getting away with it. Las Vegas was a dazzling star in the empty desert and Peridot had still spent the last two days indoors.

Cars zoomed past, people laughed, the world spun with money, money, money and the hunger for life, it was nothing like her own narrow city that hummed but never yelled.

“What are you looking at?” Lapis asks her from behind and Peridot turns around slowly.

She blinks and stretches towards the ceiling.

“ _Outside_.” She tilts her head, “I don’t think we’ve actually gone outside yet.” She observes dryly and cracks her back.

“We’ve been busy.” Lapis winks and Peridot flashes her a half smirk.

Her wife sat in the indoor Jacuzzi, the one for honeymoon suits, floating in it, tension-less, naked.

Peridot looks at her obscured body in the warm water and then turns back to the impeccably pure window pane. She smiles to herself almost giddy from something settled and aching in her chest. Like when you come home or meet the same stranger twice, and you both smile twice.

She hears Lapis get out the Jacuzzi and slink over to her, soft footprints padding on the thin carpet she was undoubtedly dripping on.

Lapis comes up from behind her and wraps her slender arms around Peridot’s middle. Peridot overlays her smaller arms over Lapis’s and lets her rest her chin on her shoulder.  
She lets out a soft, satisfied sigh.

“You’re getting me wet.” Peridot finally complains as Lapis pushes her soggy body up against her.

“I am known for that, yes.” Peridot rolls her eyes.

“How pruny are you? I’m surprised you’re not a human dried plum yet.” She let Lapis squeeze her tighter around the middle.

“Are you making a prune joke?” She asks with narrowed eyes, “with a dried plum and pruny?”

Peridot shrugs, “On prune-cipal...” She sprouted a wicked grin and could feel Lapis reeling away.

“That’s my limit!” She grabbed her, “now you are getting tickled.”

“Like hell I am!” She wiggled out of her grasp as Lapis tried to work her fingers into her sides. She’s laughing until Lapis is too close and she’s blushing. “You’re super naked.” She pushes her away and Lapis giggles.

“Are you not used to that yet?” She jokes as she stretches and tosses her hair back, presenting herself nicely for observation.

Peridot exhales, like a sigh of a fore drawn conclusion and warm feeling in her chest that just had to be released, she leans up on her tiptoes and kisses on the nose, “I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

Lapis blinks and then momentarily shuffles her feet and looks away. Peridot kisses her chest, but Lapis edges to the side. She examines the walls and then moves in one swift motion.

“Up you go!” Lapis suddenly bends down and sweeps her off her feet- bridal style. Peridot groans.

“Come on.”

“You said I was hot and you weren’t getting over it, right?”

Peridot traces Lapis’s collarbone as she sat in her arms, “Basically.”

“Then you get a first class trip to the love chamber, not to be confused with the pain chamber which I also conduct on a case by case basis.”

“Whoa-oh.” Peridot doesn’t have time to think of a witty response- or at least denounce a so-called pain chamber- as Lapis trounces her across the arm and deposits her on the bed before collapsing down on top of her.

Peridot’s shirt fell open and she felt Lapis lay on top of her, still wet and warm against her bare skin. They lay very silently, breathing as one as Lapis kicks her feet in the air and Peridot traces her back with little patterns. Circles, rainbows and flower designs.

“I’m thinking of getting a tattoo,” Lapis mumbled into her neck.

Peridot takes a deep breath, “what of?”

Lapis blows air out her nose, “wings. Blue ones.”

“For that…night?” She asks quietly.

Lapis nods, her soft damp hair tickling Peridot’s chin.

Peridot traced wings on top of Lapis’s, fingertips dancing over her ribs and creating swooping bird’s wings, feathers, arches ready to take flight.

“Stay with me.” Peridot whispers.

“Don’t worry.” Lapis leans up and kisses her on the cheek, “they’re for you.”

Peridot blushes, not entirely sure what that meant, but Lapis’s eyes spoke like cool pools of grey, a wordless tunes of sugar and warmth and getting closer.

Lapis buried her hand in Peridot’s hair and massaged her head, lightly tugging on her hair and exploring her scalp. Peridot closes her eyes to get lost in the affection.

Lapis threads her fingers through her loose locks before drawing Peridot into a deep kiss via gently tugging her head forward. Peridot wiggles down to meet her and is drawn into the darkness, lightness, of it.  
She aches, but in all the right ways.  
They breathe in and out with no barrier between their skins.

“What about the job?”

Lapis snorts, “no one's gonna see my back. And if they do, they’ll think I’m just that cool.”

“That cool huh?”

“So cool.”

Peridot knocks her on the hide and pinches her sides, “what a loser.”

“Uh,” Lapis makes an offended noise but she’s smiling.

“It’s gonna be good.” Peridot kisses her on the forehead, “so good, this one.”

Lapis shrugs, “Just another job. Somewhere to tell my bad jokes and punish my feet for existing.” Lapis’s new job involved a lot of walking, “It could …be good though.” She says in a smaller, hesitant, voice before adding, “The training was long enough after all.”

Peridot nodded, Lapis had saved up for months to take those classes, but the sheen to her eyes said it might have been worth it.

“It’s no computer tech engineer career,” it was almost a bitter sentence, “but I hope my girlfriend-” Lapis paused, “wife. Will understand.”

“She, this wife, couldn’t be prouder.”

Their hands intertwine, fingers fitting together to the point of nails digging in and a desperate, slow, path to be closer.

“Wife.” Lapis repeats, and returns to kissing her deeply and growing mischievous across her face, “wife. Let’s never go out- no one needs Vegas, or the outside really.”

Peridot shook her head, but spread herself out, “sure. Out is overrated.” She confirms and Lapis is touching her ribs one by one, walking her fingers up her body.

Peridot’s cheeks heat up at Lapis’s hooded eyes and lets her whisper nothings into her ear like rose petals falling. She eases her into it.

Lapis makes love to her like an artist paints a painting and a gardener grows a garden. And Peridot grew tree branches and sprouted flowers from her bone marrow just for her. She made love to her slow and purposefully until Peridot is nothing but a spring day, colored in blues and deeper blue. Hers, hers, hers.

Lapis makes love to her and leaves her blooming and sweating in the distant glow of the city lights. She rolls off of her. 

They both quietly looking up at the ceiling with nothing but their heavy breathing fills the air.

“Have you ever thought of kids?” Lapis asks abruptly, stirring the hot, wet air.

“Um,” Peridot glances at her and meets her eye. “No.” She says firmly, “have you?”

“No.” Lapis responds with similar firmness. 

Lapis concentrates on the ceiling fan, one of the nice ones that’s blades cut through the air in little polite twirls of _whump, whump, whump_.

Their eyes meet once more and Peridot can feel her heart in her throat, “Sometimes.” She croaks with a sandpaper throat.

“Sometimes. Yeah.” Lapis repeats and her fingers trail up to touch Peridot’s abdomen, womb. Lapis touched her so softly, like a vase or a song, fingers tracing her middle and eyes drowsy with something supple.

“I could…” Peridot struggles for the words and almost gags on her tongue, _I could have them with you, I could, no one else_. “I’m not opposed to...if it’s you.”

Lapis nods and rests her head on Peridot’s clavicle, hands still on her pelvis.

“Aren’t you glad we got married?” Lapis seems to joke and Peridot presses kisses into her hair.

“I’m glad you’re here. Just, don’t leave.” She etches the marks into her back again.

“Never,” Lapis huffs, “the wings are for you.” She repeats the phrase and Peridot understands it a little more. They lie close and listen to the ceiling fan.

The girls stay like that in the large red bed, with Vegas far away and the lights dim and secretive.

They eventually fade away into a drifting sleep, and humming calm. Sleep overtaking them, and taking in the city on their last two days of their honeymoon with magic shows, and performances and sights of Las Vegas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo, I guess this is it? I dunno even know, it' still sinking in for me, I hope you enjoyed the chapter/series! :D
> 
> Stick around for the two part epilogue!


	34. Epilogue: The Home Depot Experience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> epilogue part 1!

_3 and Half Years Later_

Lapis’s feet hurt. That was more of a constant now that it was a statement, but it stood to argue, they really hurt.

She kept her smile on however, she had a job to do and she was a professional now goddammit.

“And over on our left you’ll see the City View Park, George Washington’s favorite dog, one that followed him into battle, supposedly died somewhere near here, which is why the stature ‘Loyalty and Spirit’ is erected in its center. A bronze canine that embodies friendship and determination that we will walk past in a bit.” Lapis used her cheery tour guide voice and gestured for the gaggle of tourists to follow her.

“When will we go back to the bus?” One of the sticky kids in the front asked.

“I’m hungry, does this company provide lunch?” An old lady from Florida put in as well.

“So, you didn’t say, was George Washington’s dog a boy or a girl? And why didn’t they eat him during the Winter of Valley Forge, huh? Seems fishy.” The gangly red-head with his eyes pressed into the guide book seemed be to trying to challenge her or get her in an 'gotcha!' moment.

“We’ll back to the bus once we round City View Park, I’ll take you by the historic café where General Lafayette supposedly purposed to a local women and she fainted on the spot, and then we'll return here. Lunch will be provided by the company on the bus. The dog is a boy, a staghound, and he was not there at Valley Forge- and neither was Washington for a portion of the event. And they also didn’t eat general’s dogs at that point, Lord." Lapis said in what felt like one breath and crowd control was maintained. She smiled and tried once more to forget the aching feet problem.

She took a deep breath in as she got to take a walk around the serene pond and parade around the tour bus of people—this one mostly composed of Europeans, Southern Americans and a very nice Zimbabwe couple.

“Midlands State, and Midlands city got its name from being in between the states of Pennsylvania and Virginia, it was created after the 13 colonies were created since Pennsylvania had a border dispute with well, everyone. The local high school’s mascot isn’t the fightin’ Amish for nothing.” That a chuckle out of the crowd and Lapis nods at her own timing. MTV here she came. “It was a mid-land for the people, so, in a bout of creativity they called it ‘midlands.’ Brilliant.” More laughter and Lapis feels like she's earning that salary.

Lapis continues her tour around the city, telling the stories of Washington’s fondness for some animals, such as returning an enemies fido to him after a battle, about the underground railroad, and the Great Depression story of ‘blood in the streets’—a local horror story a business man who tried to remake his money by selling human hearts as hamburgers (a total baloney myth, but it was a crowd pleaser).

She herds them back on to the nice air conditioned double decker, and are presented with little packed lunches that are collectively complained about. Lapis didn't make them is all she can tell the folks, she's a tour guide not a chef after all.

A little French grandma approaches her from her perch at the front and Lapis prepares herself for a cuisine-conflict, but she was smiling and Lapis blinks at her.

“How far along are you?” The lady ventures as she gestures towards Lapis’s abdomen.

“Oh,” Lapis blinks again several times, “around 4 months. Other people were just assuming I was gaining weight, did, you, can you—“

“It’s ‘cause I’m old.” Her eyes crinkle and she laughs at herself whole heartedly, Lapis joins in.

“I’ll try not to be jealous then.” She keeps an eye out for the kid in seat 5B who looked like he was rubbing peanut butter into the back of the bus seats. Ugh.

“Here, sit down momma, your feet must be killing you.”

Lapis looks around, and then nods mutely. “Man, you’ve got my number.”

“Such a pretty girl! And funny too, your daughter will be lucky.”

Lapis giggles and her cheeks heat up, “you’re too kind. We’re hoping she’s just half as smart as her other mom is the truth.”

The grandma seems unphased by that statement and Lapis considers getting her phone number- they could go to bridge or old lady crochet or whatever she wanted.

“What I want to know, is how you’re going to get the perks!”

“Perks?”

“You always have to get your husband, or partner pretty lady, to pamper the shit out of you in the last days—or it’s surely not worth it!” Lapis cackles at the sentiment and the lady joins her.

“You’re right, I like you, what’s your name miss?”

“Eliane Moreau.” She smiles with a couple of her teeth missing and then tells her about her terrible neighbors who broke their sprinklers, and gossips about the new mail man who put extra care in delivery. Lapis giggles and thanks the heavens she no longer wears a blue apron.

She eventually has to cut her off and regroup the tour for the rest of the day- they had sights to see, dead author’s houses to visit, and Benjamin Franklin’s fifth printing press to gawk at.

She conducts them like an orchestrator with bad feet and little person growing inside them.

\-----------

  
_4 months Later_

Lapis stretched and reached for the sky, glancing at her phone as she got off work and now apparently being sent on a chase to the local Home Depot.

‘Whhhyyyy?~” she wrote morosely into the little buttons on her iPhone 8 before Peridot just sends her ‘good vibes’ and to ‘go do it pls' texts.

Lapis sends back several choice words and a frowny face.

She gets out of her little jalopy, and looks down at her protruding belly which sent her off balance. She was as round as a watermelon at that point, and twice as angry and burning red on the inside, she refused to stop her job though, mostly because she had started hating being bored as she got older, and all of Peridot’s career-leap-frogging made her want to keep trying too.

She hobbles into the Home Depot in her nurses shoes and examines some plywood very thoughtfully. ‘It would make a beaver very happy’ she concludes and taps on the thin wood.

“Lapis!” Lapis jumps, or at least jolts as her condition didn’t make her very bouncing at that point. She missed seeing her feet.

“Per, darling, horse-face, idiot, I am here.” She says as she widens her arms to present herself.

Peridot was in a hoody and a pair of raggedy jeans, being a top-tier programmer afforded her a lot of leniency in how she dressed now-a-days.

“Yes you are.” She kissed her on the cheek and Lapis accepts it with a sigh. “Come on.” Peridot starts excitedly strolling her to the other side of the store by the hand.

“Look, they have, guess what, mops and boxes, and what’s that? A plumbing wrench. Fascinating. I am romanced darlin'.”

She could feel Peridot rolling her eyes, “Yeah. I was thinking of getting our child started on appliances early.”

Lapis smirks, “good, we could skip all the pleasantries and name her ‘Electrician’ already. A good stable job in this economy.” They nod solemnly at each other and Peridot keeps walking her across the gigantic space.

Peridot asks her about her day and the opportunity to complain is an overwhelming joy, “first of all, fuck Ohio and this kid Ricky, we can’t name her Ricki by the way, that’s now off the list. He interrupted at least fifty times and I am almost rage-delivered the baby on top of him-“

“You did, how is she? Is she kicking?” Peridot was always concerned, Lapis shoos her away.

“No, no, its fine, she’s fine. I mean, she has been fed my rage for a couple hours, but as an electrician she’ll have to be tough....Also, I can still make jokes you know.”

Peridot sheepishly looked at her feet, “I know, I know. Rage-delivery is very funny, you’re very funny dear.”

She kissed on the cheek again as they make it to the greenhouse.

“It’s not funny for Ricky, who will be hopefully scarred for the rest of his young life about the miracle of life. Anyway, my nipples are painful fuck-you canons, and I don’t even want to tell you what’s going down downstairs right now.” Peridot cringed and Lapis leaned on her to take some weight off her feet, “not that I don’t appreciate a good old fashion log-your-wife-will-buy-you at Home Depot.”

“I’m sorry the pregnancy…is being pregnant. And yes,” Peridot beams, “here, we are in the lesbian homeland.” She claps her hands, “we should get plants for the baby’s room. As the final touches.”

“Oh,” Lapis blinks a couple times and rubs her neck, “that is sweet.” She tries to be sweet again, but ends up kicking some pots and telling a store clerk that she literally leaking right now, so don’t touch her.

They wonder around and point out ones that reminded them of their friends, and how Pearl was definitely a fern.

“Won’t the baby hurt herself on a cactus?” Peridot was trying to reason with her in the succulent aisle.

“It’s tiny.” She inputs, “and maybe we could give it to Georgia instead? Georgia could get her own room.” Georgia was their kitten they got on a whim from a friend of a friend who found her in a car engine covered in oil.

“Well, do you like that cactus?” Lapis blinked at the little tiny green cactus with a pink hat on top.

“I like the cactus.”

“Well,” Peridot picked up the plant, “I like you.”

Lapis groans, “please tell me you’ll get mean to me again when this thing is delivered.”

“Rage delivered?”

“Pleasant-delivered actually. I won't even push, just have tea with the nurses and ask my body to come back with the baby in the morning.”

Peridot laughs and Lapis is pleased, she shoo’s off a Home Depot employees again and collects more plants.

“We should go somewhere when she’s ready. Somewhere warm,” Peridot inputs dreamily.

“We are not taking a baby anywhere, I’ve seen parents who take infants on trips, they are miserable and so is everyone around them. Prepare to be miserable.”

“I thought that’s how my vows went? Miserable with you forever.”

“Haha,” Lapis folds her arms over her chest, “you’re cute. But you’re also not the one carrying around a demon in your gut bucko.”

Peridot frowned and looked at the concrete floor, the succulent in her hands lowering, “I would have…I, you know.”

“Oh no, honey, honey,” Lapis kicks herself for being insensitive, Peridot had found out she was too small for kids—too narrow and Lapis was the only viable one. “Ugh, no, it’s not you. It’s me. You’re vows were always lovely.” She wants to kick her, but something squirms in her insides, something slick and uncomfortable.

She looks down, so did Peridot.

“Uh,” Peridot takes her hand and squeezes it like she wants to break her fingers, “did you pee herself?”

Lapis gulps. “You know for once, I wish I had.”

A puddle of wet was smiling up at her and she turns to see the 18 year old in an orange smock taking out their cell phone.  
She turns back to Peridot, “Did you bring your car?”

Peridot nods mutely, “I-uhg, I, shit. Fuck. I have to, yes.”

“Go get it.” Lapis was strangely calm while her head swam and fingers shook slightly, “and you.” She points to the 16 year old, “can I borrow your cell phone? I need to tell the hospital that I’m coming.”

They nod and Lapis waddles away from evidence of her life about to change monumentally.

She fist-bumps Peridot on her way out, “let’s fuck-em up only a little bit!” She cheers, that was their battle cry, and Lapis tries to think about anything else but her body, and this was early, early, early.

And Peridot brings the car around, they kiss deeply and Lapis takes deep breaths.


	35. Epilogue Part II: Buffalo Gals

_Five Years Later_

Peridot rubbed her eyes and groped the side of the bed next to her, feeling nothing she shot upright in bed. She groans, her wife was already up, she glances at the clock, so should she. She jumps to her feet and to the bathroom.

She gets ready quickly and makes her way into the commotion of a kitchen abuzz with bustling feet, clattering dishes and busy voices. A little girl runs around in between Lapis's legs on unsure feet and another sits at the adult table-pouting it looked like. 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Peridot asks Lapis wearily as she picks up her daughter before she hurts herself on the open cabinet door.

Lapis turns to her quickly and then gestures around, “did you really want to be part of all this?” Peridot blinked at her slowly, eyes empty, Lapis sighed, “I forgot. Thought you’d hear the alarm.”

Peridot shrugs then, “oops.”

She turns to a squiggling Chryssi in her arms. “You learned to walk and now you're just all over the place booboo?” She s squishes their noses together and the toddler squeals in delight before yanking on her hair. Hard. Peridot makes sure not to toss her out the nearest window.

 

“She chewed on my DS!” Peridot turns to her oldest daughter, already at the table and feeding herself.

Peridot places Chryssi down in a high chair, “she’s only two. Barely two.” Lapis interjects as she finishes spreading mayonnaise over toast, “you’re the big sister- be nice.”

“It’s slobbery now!” Bobbi whined and Peridot got to the business of feeding Chrysocolla (which was a long story on how she got that name- it involved a bit of bar hopping and a wild night).

“Doggy.” Chryssi said excitedly, and slapped her hands on the table with open palms.

“Yes, you like to be a doggy, but you can’t chew on your sisters things, K?” The toddler responded by barking and Peridot wonders where their God was now.

She tried to feed her toast and applesauce, she was a difficult if excitable little girl, her older sister kept glaring at her from across the way.

“Bobbi, you’re face will get stuck like that.” She counters, and couldn’t believe she sounded like her mother.

“Good!” Bobbi stuck her tongue out and Peridot exhaled slowly.

She left her youngest daughter with the soggy toast and found her way across the kitchen, she wraps her hands around her wife's waist when it looks like the girls were busy eating.

“How are you doing?” She whispers into her ear, “I found you asleep on the couch when I got home last night.”

Lapis became jelly in her arms, loose and somewhat sticky, “I need more sleep and less children under 6,” She whispered back, “and more time at a job- or at least outside.”

Peridot pressed kisses into her neck, “you’ll be fine.”

“And I could use a wife who got up on time.” Lapis finished with a little clip to her tone, Peridot buried her face in her collarbone.

“We need a night off.”

Lapis snorts, “you run in one direction, I'll run in the other- maybe they won’t find us.”

Peridot laughs and turns Lapis around. “Stop!” She protests, “I’m making lunches, literal wife trash stuff that I am doing.”

Peridot grabs her waist, “cute.” Lapis pushes her away, but her face was giggling and Peridot kissed her lightly on the shoulder tops.

“Gross! Gross, gross.” Bobbi cut in, “no cuddly slop, I told you it’s nasty.” Bobbi looked like she was positioned to toss her cereal at them.

“Cuddly!” Chryssi parroted, “up, up.” She bounces in her high chair.

“Oh you don’t like this.” Lapis teased and hugged Peridot to her, Bobbi wrinkled her nose.

“None of my friends parents do that!”

“Cause their lame,” Peridot tuts at her, and Lapis winks.

“Is it this you don’t like?” Lapis kissed Peridot on the cheek and Bobbi blew a raspberry at them-so alike to her mother, “or this?” Lapis kissed Peridot on the mouth, deeply, she tasted something like baby food and their mouth wash.

Something wet landed in Peridot’s hair, “young lady!” She jumps and reaches up, “did you fling cereal?” She turns on her and wags a finger.

Bobbi looked at her lap, “I warned you. I warned ya!”

“Mamma, Mummm, up-up, up-up.” Chryssi was raising her chubby arms into the air and Peridot swooped into to finally lift her sticky child into the air.

“We have school in,” Lapis glanced at the wall clock, “now. Bus, bus, bus.” She shepherds Bobbi, “we’ll talk about cereal privileges later.”

“Moooom,” Lapis puts a little sack lunch in the five year old’s hands.

“Walk, walk, walk. Mrs. Brown says your doing well in adding, right?…” Lapis gets their oldest out the door, and Peridot entertains the barely-two-year old.

“Mama,” She points at Peridot and she nods. “Park, les' walk.” She chirps in little words that fumble and tumble to take shape.

“Tomorrow pumpkin,” She internally cringes, she said that a lot, work was reaching 45 hours a week, she would have to do something soon to cut down, “but you’re auntie Pearl will be here today, you and Opal and can walk there together!” They had a deal with Amethyst and Pearl (and sometimes Garnet) that they would switch off looking after the kids for half the week- that way Lapis could keep her job part time. And also that way, Lapis didn’t ‘lose her head at home’ as she put it.

Peridot hums and dances with Chryssi, who coos and wiggles and Peridot cradles her as they waltz around the messy living room.

“Buffalo Gals, Buffulo gals, won’t you come out tonight…” She singing off key to Chryssi's clamoring when the doorbell rang. She rushes to it, Pearl at the door with their one and half year old, Opal.

“I gotta go.” Peridot says quickly when she opens it.

“Yes, yes,” Pearl says quickly, “you’re holding her wrong anyway.”

Peridot scowls and wants to take a bite out of her, she puts her daughter down, who immediately runs away on unsteady feet, “fracking.” Peridot faux-curses and Pearl assures her she’ll catch the girl.

Peridot gets her knapsack, lunch and shoes on.

“Alright, I'm outta here.”

She jets out the door, but not before running into Lapis in the driveway.

“I love you,” she waves and Lapis runs over to give her a goodbye kiss- she had read that couples that did that stayed together longer, and she insisted on the act now.

“Love me, still? What a blowhard.”

She shrugs, “It’s more of an addiction.”

Lapis smirks and puts her own shoes on for tour-guiding. "The first step is admitting you have a problem."  
  
"Trust me, you aren't the problem of the household." She taps their heads together, holding her face in her hands. 

Lapis pecks her on the cheek before grabbing her jacket, “Have fun a numbers and junk today.”

Peridot sighs and gets in the rickety chevy, Lapis was still waving when they part.

\-----------------

Sometimes Peridot still checked her mailbox to see if Yella Diamond was sending threatening letters. Sometimes Lapis snapped at her to ‘stop following her around like a dog, I'm not Ms. Diamond!’ And sometimes Peridot snapped back.

Sometimes, most the time, they didn’t know what they were doing. But Peridot couldn’t remember life before that night King Soopers, and things before didn’t really seem like they mattered anymore.

Sometimes, Lapis was still up late, plagued by the ghost of insomnia and Peridot came trooping down the stairs after her in a war against an unknowable force.

She hung her head on the railing and glanced at the busy-eyed women on the couch, staring off into a static-ridden screen and picking at the frayed ends of her blanket.

Peridot entered the living room, “come here often?” She drawled and Lapis glanced up, a slow smile on her lips.

“I think I got lost. I was looking for a long bath and a bed, and wound up collapsing on the couch.”

Peridot snorted and walked over to the couch, “and uh, what are we watching?”

Lapis raised her eyebrows at her, “old movies.”

“It looks like static.”

“ _Really_ old.” Peridot laughs and rests her head on Lapis’s shoulder. They just breath in time together for a moment, still in their heartbeats and hands laced together.

“Everything aches.” Lapis finally says as she stretches out, “between the kids and my walking job I’ll be wrinkled before I’m forty.”

Peridot reaches for her shoulders to message her back, “I bet you’ll look hot with laugh lines around your eyes.”

“Oh yeah?” She could hear the smile in Lapis’s voice, “and what about gray hair and bad ears? Are you ready to yell everything you say?”

Peridot chuckles and digs into her muscles to unwind the knots, Lapis practically moans in contentment, “I signed up for the long hall. And besides, my eyes are already gone, so you’ll be leading a blind woman yourself soon.”

Lapis stretches in place, “and everything already aches!”

“Don’t worry,” Peridot whispered in her ear, “I’ll kiss everything that hurts.” She kissed her knuckles one by one and then her shoulder tops.

Lapis bites her lip, “and what if I said I still ached from giving birth to two terrors?”

“Well, I suppose I could attend to that too.” She purrs and positions herself between her wife's legs. They are giggling like teenagers and exchanging bedroom eyes.

“Mamma?”

Lapis practically kicks Peridot in the face when she jumps and Peridot falls backward. 

"Ow." She rubs her cheek.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Their two-year-old was on the stairs, “how did you get out? Wait right there, I’ll be right up.”

Peridot grumbled and situated herself back on the couch as Lapis picks up the little girl.

“I wanted to be up with you.” She says sleepily and Lapis pets her wisps of dark hair. “Can I please?” She was polite in her more tired version.

They argue for a moment- but arguing with a two old was pointless.

“Only until you fall asleep.” Lapis reasons as she brings Chryssi down and she sits on the couch with her in her lap, Peridot curled up into her daughter and wife.

They stare at the blank TV and at least two of them yawn, it was a sugary moment in liminal space, everything a little blurry as Peridot blinks her eyes to stay awake.

“I knew it! You guys are all up without me!” Bobbi was on the stairs and Peridot gestures towards her.

“Come over here bug, you can be up to.”

“Really?” Bobbi jumped up and down, her mood swinging to large toothy-grins, she rushed down the stairs.

“Oof,” Peridot’s hips complain as Bobbi jumps into her lap.

She immediately leans into her and Peridot sighs in contentment and wraps her arms around the wiggling life-form.

“Let’s watch something, like at a sleepover.” Bobbi was still in a state of electric energy- it figured.

“Okay,” Lapis responded, “get out the DVD at the very bottom. It’s old movie night.”

“Oh no, mom, no.” Bobbi complains, twisting her baseball jersey in her little fists, Lapis gives her the stern look known as ‘iron.’

“Your sisters already asleep, maybe we should tuck you back in too?” Lapis gestures to a dozing Chryssi.

“Old movie, okay!” She sings and Bobbi was off putting the DVD in and snuggling back up on Peridot’s lap, who hugs her to her chest.

Georgia the cat even finds her way to the couch and they coax her into sitting next to them, like a little family all at once. The movie hums along and little Bobbi is soon slumbering against her chest.

“Buffalo gals won’t you come out tonight, won’t you come out tonight, and dance by the light of the moon…” Peridot sings to Lapis softly as the movie plays and she rests her head on her shoulder. “Would you like the moon Mary?” Peridot mouths along to ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’

Lapis glances at her and her eyes sparkle, “actually, I’d like the ocean.” She responds wryly.

“Then I’ll get you the ocean.” They kiss softly, not moving their bodies so as to not disturb their daughters.

The clock chimes in the kitchen and they look at each other, "it's midnight." Peridot whispers.

"It feels a lot later." Lapis reflects.

The clock chimes again, 12 O'clock local time, and they fall into a dizzy sleep where Peridot dreams about life where she married her best friend and gets to fall in love- every day, every time she moved and every time Peridot woke up to her silly face and two daughters that had her nose.

"I love you." Peridot said it again, and Lapis was already asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the scene they were watching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAERYfeiYBc  
> Chrysocolla is my headcanon name for a lapidot fusion, so that's her name, and I thought 'Chryssi' was cute (tho it is an obnoxious way to spell it)
> 
> Thank you all for reading! It’s been a long, wonderful journey with you, at the very start sometimes I thought I would quit, but an encouraging message in the beginning and just little ‘I’d like to see more!’ always kept me coming back.
> 
> I do have some regrets, such as the name of the story, it could have been ‘Checkout’ or ‘Tired Girls and Grocery Stores,’ but no. I chose a weird grocery store only in my state as the title, oops. 
> 
> Outside of the title and some of the setting and I am very happy with this story. There are a growing number of writing pieces about gay relationships- and fanfiction is the prime ground for that, however most of it doesn’t focus around girls/femslash and a lot of it I’ve read isn’t always ‘light.’ I wanted something funny and relatable, and *hopeful*. A gay-girl’s story that was about the hope of love and things working out (instead of say, a tragic death on TV :/)
> 
> Not to be sappy, but sometimes in the world we live in the weight of ideas and media and truly heartbreaking events can be overwhelming. It can be hard to keep in mind that there is, can be, love without punishment or shame. We are surrounded by other messages, so I thought I would write something that reinforced a kind of promise- of love and romance and silliness, of a future, even if other sources have said otherwise.


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